In A Man's Hands

By Carlene Love

Sometimes letting go is the only way forward.
He found his soulmate then lost her.
She never wanted to find hers.
With a fatal genetic disease and family secrets hanging over each of their lives, love in the long term seems like an impossible dream for Kate and Oliver.
Yet in her heart, if marriage were an option, Kate would rather be Oliver’s second wife than anyone else’s first. But that’s the thing ... she can never be that.
Can she allow Oliver to have a say?
Her decisions may break him.
Still, life and death keep bringing them together, asking them to hold on, even if it takes everything they’ve got.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carlene Love
• Release date: May 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463072950

Carlene Love

Carlene is thankful to share her works with the world from the very special city of San Diego, California. When not walking the beautiful beaches or hanging out at some favorite places like the World Famous San Diego Zoo, she can be found with laptop at hand, ideas brimming to make it out onto the page. Time is one of the most valuable things a person can give these days and Carlene thanks you from a genuine and humble heart for yours. Happy Reading. Be well, be you, and Be Here Now.

Book preview

Table of Contents

A BIT ABOUT THIS NOVEL

Kindness for Carlene Love’s Work

In A Man’s Hands

Copyright

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 40

EPILOGUE

From Carlene

About the Author

A BIT ABOUT THIS NOVEL

He found his soulmate then lost her.

She never wanted to find hers.

With a fatal genetic disease and family secrets hanging over each of their lives, love in the long term seems like an impossible dream.

In her heart, if marriage were an option, Kate would rather be her good friend Oliver’s second wife than anyone else’s first. Seeing his strength and courage in battling back from his wife’s death has made Kate love Oliver in a way she knows will only ever belong to him.

Unfortunately, such a desperate love can leave one half of the heart lost in the other’s wake. If Kate were able to make a life with anyone, it could be Oliver. But that’s just it… she can’t. Kate shouldn’t have let him fall so hard for her.

Can she allow Oliver to have a say in all this? His good heart will always love but never forget.

Her decisions break him again and again and again.

Yet with all of this, life keeps bringing them together and forcing them to try.

Kindness for Carlene Love’s Work

HUMAN GIANT ANGEL MERMAID

It is beautiful and haunting and scary and fierce and unsettling. The words are woven with much beauty and emotion.

—Masha Levinson, award-winning writer

Short, simple, sweet, to the point. A beautifully written narrative giving words to struggles we all face while eloquently underpinning the courageousness of the human spirit along with its capacity for love.

—J. Goode, author, traveler and life enthusiast

This story made me stop and think and smile and pray.

—Kerri Carpenter, award-winning author of the Something True series

LET ME SEE

This book may seem like something you aren't sure you want to read because of the subject matter but it will lead you to understanding how much love and trust can mend a broken heart. This book is written with faith in the human spirit and I would recommend it to anyone.

—TM, reader and book lover

In A Man’s Hands

by

Carlene Love

In A Man’s Hands Copyright May 2020 Carlene Love.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means—graphic, electronic or mechanical—without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

www.carlenelove.com

Formatting by Anessa Books

Cover Design by Murphy Rae

DEDICATION

To Friendship.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As is always true, my heartfelt love and appreciation go to all who have crossed paths with me. I have learned from you and because of that, you are a part of me and everything I do. I’m thankful for ALL and I acknowledge you here. Let’s keep learning from each other.

One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.

― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

CHAPTER 1

TUCKED FAR, FAR away in the charming English countryside, the long overdue Andrews family vacation was in full swing. Some might say that on such a numinous occasion it was a shame she’d come here to die, but Chloe Andrews preferred to keep things far, far less opinionated.

While everyone else carried on indoors, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, coaching herself up the stone steps of her father-in-law’s very English garden—lush green, colored by hollyhocks and Sweet Williams, stocked with summertime crickets and their songs, and overgrown in just the right way. One foot in front of the other.

It was no shame she’d come here; it was beautiful.

I want to experience the flowers now, not feel their weight piled up on a wooden box, she said as she took another step and pulled the backdoor open to enter the house. Sadly, these weren’t things she could share out loud; they were of an upsetting nature to her loved ones. It was a shame really, because to her, they were beautiful, comforting thoughts.

A rumble of loud, yet proper male roars tumbled gregariously out from the nearby family room, startling her but also sounding absolutely wonderful. The voices were mostly those of her in laws. Oliver’s soft-spoken notes made their way around the edges, as if trying to find their place. It had been years since her poor husband had seen his family here at his home.

This is the exact right place to be, she whispered.

Someday, Oliver would understand why she’d been relentless about this trip, coming up with every incontestable thing she could think of to get him to agree, like fulfilling her soul and checking England off her bucket list. To each of those he’d pleaded with her to reconsider. His reasoning, which was agreed upon by all of her doctors, had been sound. But it was just one of those fights she had to win. She just had to. In the end, her adoring husband had caved. And now, here they were.

You won’t be alone, she whispered.

A wheeze tumbled out as she exhaled, forcing her to drop into a seat at the kitchen table where half-finished homemade party decorations were scattered about. Looking upward, she accepted this was just another of life’s tests.

Mommy, mommy! Trevor ran in through the back-porch door, right up to where she sat, capturing her complete attention. At once, his cupped hands settled carefully over her lap so that nothing spilled.

What have you got there, kiddo? Chloe said as she inwardly worked through the distress nailing her body.

Snails! Five of them! Like how many I’m gonna be. Look really close, Mommy. See. I named these ones. With his nose, he pointed at the four perched closest to his thumb. That one’s Hickory, and that one’s Dickory, and that one’s Dock, and that one’s, um, that one can be Clock. This one, I don’t know yet. She watched him mouth the rhyme, bobbing his head to the beat of each word. Always pausing after the Dock, making his way through the song to the word clock, and then looking scrupulously at the fifth snail, his small mouth pulled up at one corner.

As he wiggled, tiny bits of moist, rich soil fell onto her jeans, and she was at once transported to his beautiful, innocent world where smears and slime reigned supreme. The snails, fine representations of their nursery rhyme namesakes, seemed none the wiser to their displacement, and she leaned in for a closer look. Outstanding names. They’re super cool, she exclaimed with as much gusto as she had left in the tank. Did you find them in Grandpa’s garden?

Yes. He looked up at her and concentrating on his dear face, she saw he did so sheepishly. Do I have to put them back? I told them they can come to the party.

Well, you don’t have to, I suppose. Who was she to spoil his fun? If anything, she wished she could bask in the simple joy that animated his growing big boy voice. Chloe’s chest began to burn, and she rubbed at it. Needing distraction and closing her eyes for a moment, she concentrated on soft brown curls, a lopsided smile inherited from his daddy, and the magnificent energy of her little man. Her eyes popped open at the same time that a smile spread across her face. Sweetheart, where do you think they’d be happiest? Chloe leaned down so that her nose rested on the top of his head. Just for a moment. She just wanted to smell that wonderful smell.

Her son looked down at his hands for several long seconds before his green eyes popped back up to her face. In lots of dirt.

She ruffled his hair, thankful he’d thought of the snails’ wellbeing. If he carried that trait throughout the rest of his life, she could die knowing he’d be okay. You’re probably right.

There was no missing the most serious look that came across his face and she sat up as straight as she could to show he had her equally most serious attention. Mommy, I will make them a snail house outside and put lots of dirt in it. I am a England snail farmer now. You can help me, if you want to be a England snail farmer too.

She could think of nothing better and did her best to stifle the chuckle ready to burst through, mostly because she adored her son’s idea but also because of the stabbing pain in her chest and lungs whenever she laughed too hard. Yes sir, I do want to. That is a marvelous idea. First thing tomorrow, we will gather materials and make them a proper house. The thought of building with her little man was medicine to her weary body, but she would meditate tonight as well to help bring on sleep. I thought of one name, she offered, refusing to crouch over from the ache but eager to share in this brainstorming session.

What one? he asked with a tiny hop.

Well, do you think it has to rhyme with the others, or can it be a little different but just as awesome? Chloe had to pause to catch her breath, although she made it look like a sudden yawn had overcome her as she opened her mouth wide and sucked in air. She tried for another breath but before she could finish, Trevor’s childlike voice sang out.

Hickory, dickory, dock. The Mouse! he exclaimed, his intelligence shining in his big eyes, just like the other love of her life. Chloe nodded yes. Good thinking, Mommy. Then this one is The Mouse. The Mouse can be yours. You can hold him after I feed him tomorrow, we shall see if the snails do a good job, he said, finishing up his sweet instructions.

This time, Chloe couldn’t help but laugh. What nearly five-year-old said, we shall see, if he hadn’t heard it a million times over from his loving, doting parents? The laugh made her chest burn, and the trapped mucus in her lungs rumbled, but she didn’t care.

Mommy, are you okay?

A swallow of breath caught suddenly in her chest. Of course, she replied in an instant, setting both hands gently on each side of his head, grateful he would never have to battle this disease, that he was hers—heart and soul—but that genetically, he was safe. She gave him a kiss atop his curls. Of course, I am. Softly, Chloe then directed Trevor to go and place his snail friends in an empty bowl setting low on one of Sam’s kitchen shelves. Wash your hands, please, came her motherly yet loving tone. Trevor complied with all she’d asked of him. Thank you.

But just then, from a place deep in her heart, came a truth she couldn’t deny. Don’t lie to him. An impeccable and healthy long life was a promise every parent wanted to make their kids, and when things worked out that way, it was wonderful. But when it didn’t, what did a child do with that broken promise? Who did they blame, or end up hating? What did they lose trust in? What kind of person did a little kid who’d been lied to grow up to be?

Chloe knew.

She would not set her son on the same confusing path she’d been sent on as a child. Trevor, look at Mommy. Look in my eyes, honey. He did, after making sure Hickory, Dickory, Dock, The Mouse and Clock were safe and secure. She smiled at him. You know Mommy has a condition that makes her cough a lot.

Yes, Mommy. Citrus Fibrosis, he said, giving each syllable the utmost of care but still having trouble with the big term.

Yes, sweetheart. Gently but honestly, she continued. Cystic Fibrosis, that’s right. And sometimes it makes it hard to do other really important things like get a good deep breath, because sometimes Mommy’s blood and fluids don’t move around in my body very well and so my heart and lungs have to work harder.

Uh huh. I know.

I know you do. And I’m very thankful you are so thoughtful about it. And how important are breathing and a healthy beating heart and good strong lungs to a person’s body?

He blew out an adorable and incredibly thoughtful breath of air then said, It’s the biggest important.

Yes, it is.

I want you to work better, Mommy.

A solid curtain of tears which she forbid to fall down her cheeks stayed welled up in her eyes, just barely. Me too. Cleverly, she turned her head away just enough to be able to wipe her eyes on her shoulder top, because as straightforward and honest as she was being right now, these particular tears were ones she feared would confuse him. It didn’t matter where she found the composure, the lung capacity and the bravery to say this next part to Trevor, she would. Trevor, one of these days, Mommy’s lungs will not be healthy enough to keep breathing. And when that happens, then my body cannot keep doing all its other important stuff either. Do you understand that?

He nodded and blinked his big gem-like green eyes at her. Then he nodded again. Yes.

Of course, there was no way he could really know, but she kept on, no matter how difficult it was to admit out loud that she would not be here for him someday soon. Okay, so when my body stops working, then I will go to sleep, forever. I won’t wake up again. She paused to rub her hand gently over his head and his shoulders and his back and then out to gingerly support and cup his elbows; the contact soothed her as well. She gave him another kiss on the forehead, needing to mark him indelibly as hers, then looked him in the eyes again. I hope this doesn’t happen for a long, long time. But even if it happens sooner, I want you to know that it will be okay.

He blinked a few times, looking off to the side, like he didn’t think that sounded okay at all. How come, Mommy?

Of this answer, she was certain.

Because our hearts have this other, extra special part to them that works even if one of the people’s bodies gets sick and goes to sleep forever. She brought out her finger and first traced a heart shape over the left side of her chest and then did the same to his. Our hearts are forever linked with a special, beautiful connection. Kind of like magic but even stronger. Your spirit inside your heart, and mine inside of my heart, will always be able to feel each other. No matter where we go or what we’re doing, we’ll always be linked. All we have to do is think of each other. You might not be able to see me someday, but I’ll always be with you, looking over you. You’ll always have my love, right here in your hands. Chloe paused and brought his palms up so that she could place a kiss in them and then cup them closed. Does that make sense, sweetheart?

God, she prayed she hadn’t just jumbled that all up. Hadn’t she meant to keep her explanation unfiltered by the feel-good notion of angels and the guardianship parents prayed and hoped actually existed in the afterlife? Her lungs burned and ached so badly now, but the glow in his eyes and cheeks and nose soothed her. Just like an angel had reached out and touched her.

It makes sense, Mommy. Does Daddy know all this? Should we go tell him?

Oh my goodness, if she didn’t just fall apart at his strength and innocence. That is so thoughtful. But yes, Daddy knows. That’s why he takes such good care of me. And you. He wants to help Mommy be at her very best. And do you know what else? Your daddy loves you so much … She paused because she almost made one of those false promises, that even if she wasn’t there raising Trevor, that his dad always would be.

That wasn’t always the case for children.

She wondered how many well-meaning adults had told her those things, but she couldn’t remember back that far into her childhood. Another truth that plagued her worries was how Oliver would handle her inevitable death. He’d only just barely begun to come out of his shell and be able to show the world the amazing, unique man she knew him to be. Would her death drag him back to the quiet place she’d helped him out of? What would that do to Trevor?

Instead of panicking, she thought a few seconds longer, and then said, He loves you so much, that he has the exact same connection to both of us, and no matter what happens, the three of us will always, always, always, always, be in each other’s hearts. It did not matter that Trevor was her stepson.

Okay. I believe you. That is good, Mommy.

Yes, it is, son. Now I think it’s time you go tuck your snails in to their garden for the night. They need rest for tomorrow’s big move into their new house. Chloe was completely out of breath now.

And the party!

Yes, and the party, she whispered.

Helping him stand, she picked up a deep yellow marigold that had been lying on the kitchen table waiting to be placed in a vase and laid it over top of his pile of snails and soil in the bowl. For their new home, she said quietly and smiled. Pointing him first outside so he could replace the snails in the garden and then moments later, planting a kiss on his head as he came back by, she sent him down the hall to his bed. Chloe couldn’t help but be in love. The pain of being here, right now, was worth it, because the pain of not being here, that was indescribable.

Goodnight, Mommy! came his perfect voice, rumbling down the hall.

Sweet dreams, Farmer Trevor, Chloe said as loudly as her coated lungs allowed. I love you, she nearly croaked.

I love you too, Farmer Mommy!

Good, he’d heard her, because it would take time to get her breath back.

God, thank you for that little man. Please bless him and Oliver every moment of every day of their lives. Thank you for letting me be here for as much of it as is possible. Please, please, please keep my boys in your loving hands. Please…

After letting her prayer soak all the way through her heart and soul, she tried for a deeper breath, but could barely do it. Her movements slower than usual, the ability to get a full, satisfying breath taunted her like bait dangling just out of reach. She’d been aware of this for a few months now, but with so much going on and so many other things—good things—that drew her focus away, it hadn’t been as noticeable as it was now, in the quiet of the oncoming and mild summer night.

But what was she supposed to do? Flake out and not plan her son’s fifth birthday party? The one for which they’d flown halfway around the world, so it could be celebrated with Grandpa Sam, the only grandpa Trevor had? No quitting, Chloe. She breathed the words through every inch of her body until she felt a tiny bit of extra energy course through her system. There we go, that’s it, she thought, trying to talk herself to wellness.

In her pocket, she felt a buzz and pulled out her phone. The screen showed a preview of an incoming text from her good friend, Kate. Immediately, Chloe smiled.

KATE: How’s England?! Wait, don’t answer. Want to hear all about it, when you get back. Not now. So put your phone away and enjoy ENGLAND!! Tell your boys hi for me. All is well here, just battling with my mom and the Virginia heat. Argh. Lol. Love you.

I love you too, she whispered, just barely, as she replied, adding a snail, a smile, and a yellow flower emoji and then tucked her phone back into her pocket. Hoping things really were okay with Kate and her family, Chloe sighed, more prayers making their way through her thoughts for the tough bunch—the Cooper family.

All people were born with a beautiful energy inside them, whether it glowed outwardly or had been buried and twisted deep inside the soul. The elderly gave her a sense of calm, because they’d been through so much of life yet had made it through. But this newer generation, they had this gorgeous and unique energy full of unimaginable possibilities. It was probably one of the things that had drawn her to Oliver, once she’d gotten past the misgivings of dating a younger man.

Kate had it, Oliver too, and this one, approaching her now from behind, she had it in spades.

Chloe could feel the instant her sister-in-law walked into the kitchen, as if apricots had sprouted and baby powder had been squeezed into the air. Nina had joined them for dinner tonight and then gone for a walk with Oliver. Now, the English beauty made her way over to Chloe and wrapped her in a hug.

Chloe couldn’t help but say, Gee, I wish I was this brave in my twenties. She briefly rubbed Nina’s bare waist which went uncovered from a cropped sweater top. Gorgeous.

Chloe, you could wear this now. Ollie’d sure love it. She winked. Wow, these look great! Nina picked up one of the star decoration cutouts.

Ollie generally liked her just fine in her jeans and tees, at least she assumed he did. He’d never prompted her to be more daring in her clothes choices. That wasn’t Oliver. Safe and simple things were beautiful to him. Nonetheless, she appreciated Nina’s compliment.

Nina dove into sharing some wonderful party ideas she’d thought up on her walk when Chloe’s chest burned so badly, she had to raise her hand, asking for a polite pause in the conversation. No amount of positive thinking seemed to be influencing the situation. Against her will, she coughed uncontrollably for what felt like a very long time.

Nina began rubbing her back and offered her the nearby glass of water. Oh my God, Chloe. Are you okay?

There was a pause long enough to give them both time to digest the nastiness of the cough.

Nina, would you mind finishing things up without me? I’m so sorry, Chloe croaked out.

Of course, do you need me to get you anything? Should I grab Ollie?

The edgy sound of Nina’s normally nonchalant voice said Chloe had frightened her. Even though her in-laws knew of the situation with her health, living all the way in England made it so that they rarely saw it firsthand. Chloe patted her husband’s baby sister on the shoulder, tried to act as if she was well enough, and smiled.

I’m okay. Just need to lie down. Thank you for all of this, Nina. I’m sure I’ll be back to full speed in the morning.

Nina wrapped Chloe in another warm hug, something she appreciated each time, given their rocky start. A few years ago, Chloe had been the older American woman who’d stolen Nina’s brother and nephew from their family, but now they were sisters. Real sisters. Occasionally, Nina still apologized for having been so appalling when they’d first met.

I’ll take care of the rest of the party stuff. Nina’s golden-brown hair fell so beautifully around her face, a face that let Chloe know she could trust her to do a wonderful job.

Chloe paused for a moment and took in the beauty of her in-laws, their importance, and why she’d made this unadvised trip. This, this was her family now. Her one and only family. Her son’s one and only family.

Okay, thank you. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt lightheaded and needed to steady herself against a nearby chair. Nina held out an arm, as if she was ready to walk Chloe down the hall, but Chloe didn’t want to worry her any further. Must have just overdone it today. I’m fine, she said with a dip of her head.

Through a guarded voice, like she didn’t feel right about leaving, Nina acquiesced but vowed to return with an absolutely fabulous party plan in the morning. Chloe kissed her head, the way she’d always thought a big sister would, before she was shushed off to the hallway and the bedrooms.

Thank goodness her guestroom was the first door she came to because it took all her concentration just to make it there. Reaching for her inhaler which sat on the dresser, she grabbed it and took two quick puffs before letting it fall from her hands back onto the wooden surface. Crashing hard from the exhaustion, she made it a few steps to the bed and collapsed in a haze of dizziness. Instinctually, she reached out for Oliver’s hand, but he wasn’t there, and she remembered he was catching up with his dad and brother somewhere in the house. Good. She closed her eyes and practiced pulling air slowly in and out; she practiced being okay, being ready. Crickets chirped from their hiding spots as Chloe waited for the room to stop spinning. I am a England snail farmer now, she whispered the intention over the air, her heart aching yet warm, her bucket list one item lesser, her life just a little bit more complete.

CHAPTER 2

OLIVER, FRESH FROM a shower and dressed for bed in a t-shirt and lounge pants he’d rummaged from his old dresser, towel dried his hair as he walked over to the love of his life. All he wanted to do was lie down in bed beside her. He shook his head at how wonderful it was to have her here on this flimsy old thing he’d passed out on so many times as an oddball knucklehead of a boy.

What had he done to deserve this second chance?

Maybe she’d been right in insisting they make this trip. It did do something inexplicable to his heart to see her here with his family, in the home that his whole life, had been filled with immense love. He knew that to be true, and felt so horrible that for most of his life, he just hadn’t been able to feel it, or anything really. He reached to take her outstretched hand into his, letting the towel fall from his head to the wooden floor. Gratitude flushed through him for the ways Chloe was able to touch, teach and transform him.

But what met his hand was a set of limp fingers and cool palm. The feeling of it was wrong and he caressed her hand again to warm it. He gained no reaction.

Love, did I walk you up too many hills today? Oliver whispered into her ear and scanned the length of her body. Physically, she looked okay. Full, round cheeks pressed upward framing her nose. The only truly fleshy thing on her, they pinked under his caress. The rest of her looked her normal shade of thin and pale. Still and always beautiful to him. She was clearly spent, but there was rarely a day this whole visit that she hadn’t managed to push herself to the brink.

The handful of years she had on him rarely showed themselves. Yes, her health was daunting at best, but he had become accustomed to her manner of going, going, going. She is eager, yes, but not ready. Not able. You knew this… Oliver’s mind had a knack for spinning in unending circles. He closed his eyes tight and took in a deep breath, searching for silence.

Today they had spent the entire day walking about the grounds of a medieval castle atop a beautiful hill he’d grown up exploring. The walk up and down that hill had taxed Chloe, but she had insisted they survey and scout every nook and cranny of the majestic site. Trevor had never seen such a cool place, as he had told them several times that day. Mother and son wanted to see it all, every inch. Outwardly, Oliver had promised not to play the fuddy duddy old nursemaid who denied her at every turn. Inside, he was a ball of regretful nerves and watched her like a hawk none the wiser, praying she wouldn’t come down with another infection while away from her doctors. Luckily, the treatment she’d taken before their flight had improved her lung function, making her well enough to travel, but it wasn’t a cure. There was no cure. They both knew that, but this time—for this trip—she had done the one thing he’d never known her to do before.

She’d begged.

Mercilessly.

He’d delayed, and put off, and found a million reasons to say no for so long. In the end, he just couldn’t deny her any longer. She needed to see his and Trevor’s birthplace. Deep inside, although he hated it with his entire being, Oliver knew time was not on their side. Chloe had already made it to thirty-five. Who was he to deny her this life experience?

Her eyes softly fluttered open. Oliver, I’m having a hard time catching my breath. The words barely traversed his ears. Chloe frowned and tried to inhale again, her breathing clogged by mucus. The breath hadn’t been a full one and she coughed so hard that her soft black curls shook back and forth around her head.

On a second, more scrutinizing pass, he could see the uneven rise and fall of her chest. Sitting down close to her side, Oliver held her hand. It gave him unconditional guidance, love and calm, and then he placed it on her stomach.

It’s okay, love. Breathe with me. He drew in a big wash of air through his nose and held it before slowly letting it out through his mouth. Purse your lips as you exhale if you need to.

Chloe tried to mimic him through the