Circumstances

By BJ Binning

Circumstances is a book about choices, families, relationships, a mother, a child, a husband and a wife. It asks the ultimate question: Are you happy with your choices in life and the circumstances that those choices have allowed? As a child, Bella is beautiful shy and emotionally abused. She endures a childhood that presents many unfortunate events which she would not wish on anyone. One day she realizes that she needs to make a choice and she does------the choice to embrace her circumstances and take the lessons learned with her to the next stage of life. You can make a choice to live with your circumstances or just do nothing and wither away!

Because of her acceptance of her past, she becomes a force to be reckoned with. She starts out losing one of the most precious people in her life----her father, and still yearns for that father-daughter relationship. Decades later, she repeats her mothers life and then comes to the realization that she made her own choices which brought these circumstances. She chooses to live with them, to accept them for what they are and to use them as a basis for her future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 30, 2007
• ISBN: 9781477162231

BJ Binning

Some people believed that BJ was able to change her own diapers as an infant. She was born on an island to a very young mother and father. She attended private school during her young life and went to many different Universities to earn her degrees. She was discovered in a clothing store by a woman, at a young age, who later became her agent in the modeling industry for many years. After a fourteen year career in modeling she settled down and had a family. She is an overachiever who would like to consider herself as self-sufficient, strong, and God fearing. There is nothing in this world that she considers unattainable. Her life experiences are derived from living in many different parts of the world, learning different cultures, and examining her life and the life of others. She earned a bachelor’s degree in finance, a master’s degree in business, and a master’s degree in psychology working toward a doctorate in psychology. She is a Californian by the way of the Bahamas, Jamaica, Spain, France, Australia and the Philippines, who truly enjoys her quality of life.

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Copyright © 2007 by BJ Binning.

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4257-5892-9

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4257-9287-9

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4771-6223-1

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CONTENTS

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

IN THE BEGINNING

LIFE LESSONS

THE AWAKENING

REALITY

HE MOVED IN

CHRISTMAS

THE MEETING

THE NEWS

LIFE LESSONS

LIFE HAPPENS

MAGIC

LIFE HAPPENS AGAIN

DISAPPOINTMENT

HER DARKEST MOMENT

LIFE LESSONS

YOU HAVE TO PAY YOUR DUES

LIFE LESSONS

WHAT HAPPENED

THE GLORY YEARS

REGRETS

LIFE LESSONS

THE PLAN

HIS THOUGHTS

LIFE LESSONS

THE POWER OF DETERMINATION

A FRIEND IN NEED

LIFE LESSONS

FAMILY

LIFE LESSONS

SELF-REFLECTION

CULTIVATING A MARRIAGE

FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE

CIRCUMSTANCES

NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE

IN RETROSPECT

EPILOGUE

LIFE LESSONS

RESPECT

DEVELOPING YOUR VALUES

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my mother

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY

We are not born with maps; we have to make them, and the making requires effort. The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort. Their maps are small and sketchy, their views of the world, narrow and misleading.

—M. Scott Peck

I am a true believer in this statement. If all of our experiences were written for us, we would be bored with our lives. We have the ability to make of our lives what we want. This is an amazing thing.

As a teenager, I was once voted most likely to succeed. I knew that I was determined to be successful in my life and did not know that everyone else could see it too. Now, success is different for everyone—for me, success is being able to accomplish your goals with dignity and respect. I continue to do that every day.

I have three sisters and three brothers that mean the world to me: Angella, Vanessa, Tia, Jerry, Homer, and Donovan. My mother, whom I see as the strongest woman that ever lived is my inspiration. She has endured so many unpleasant circumstances in her life and she never complains about it. I could not ask for a better role model. I am a wife and mother to three children: Morgan, Gavin, and Winston. They are my pride and joy.

I believe in God, I believe in myself, I do not try to expect too much from others because with expectations come disappointments. I have learned many important lessons in my life. The most important one is that I cannot live to regret anything. I have to live to learn and learn to live.

PREFACE

It is the strength from within that employs our mind to create our thoughts. These thoughts become choices, hence actions, which brings circumstances. For everything that happened in our past and all that will materialize in our future is nothing compared to what is currently going on within us.

Dreams pass into reality of action. From the action stems the dream again, and this interdependence produces the highest form of living (Anais Nin). Life on this planet is not forever. In fact, nothing is forever, so we need to take stock of our choices and use them wisely. Enjoy life and try to be thankful for all that you have; first and foremost, be thankful God and your family. Live today as if it were your last day on earth. Accomplish the goals you set today, and enjoy the benefits tomorrow.

Life happens, different events touches us and changes us forever. These are the chapters of our lives. Some of these circumstances that we live to endure might seem cruel when they occur, but they are so important because they are those circumstances from your choices that mold you into the person you’ve become. Therefore, it is essential to embrace them when they arrive and disperse them with pride—the pride of a lesson learned.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

With all the breath that I have left in me, I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to every person that has crossed paths with me. I thank them for every laughter we shared, for every tear we cried and for every song we sang. It is you that have made me who I am today and I thank you!

God gave me the intelligence and ability to do everything that I do. He gave me the strength to endure the experiences of life and enabled me to forgive myself and others around me. He allowed me the freedom to write this book and put into it everything that I have learned and everything that I have become. Without him, I would be nothing.

I have one moment in life that I wished could have been different. This one choice that I made haunts me even today. All the circumstances I have created have made me the woman that I am. I am proud of this woman and wanted to share my experiences with you who might have endured some circumstances in your life. Life is not easy, and it is up to you to make it what you want it to be.

Each person lives his life according to what he believes. If you believe in nothing, your life will thus become nothing. Don’t be afraid to believe, don’t be afraid to dream. Make your dreams become a reality by making good choices and then taking the circumstances which it brings one at a time, each day, each moment. Learn from your mistakes and learn to forgive yourself because by forgiving yourself you learn to forgive others, therefore encouraging yourself to move on. Your life will become the essence of you.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

The vision of her driving up to the office in her Mercedes Benz, designer suit, high heels, and Prada bag makes people think, Yes, she thinks she is all that. You darned right she is, and a bowl of grits too. If she doesn’t think that of herself, who will? You might not like her, even though you don’t know her. But you will respect her, won’t you? People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are or what they have become but many do not realize that it is the choice that brings that circumstance. Choices are hard to make and Bella realizes that although some of the circumstances she had were not her choices, she accepts them and has benefited from each and every one.

IN THE BEGINNING

On this particular morning, Bella was ecstatic because she was going on a field trip with her second-grade class. Put on the clothes that are on your bed and come out to the verandah so that I can comb your hair! bellowed Bella’s mother from the front of the house. Her mother, Jean, would always comb her hair on the veranda because Bella had so much hair, and Jean needed the space. Their conversation was usually very pleasant, and monopolized by Bella, but her mother enjoyed their time together.

While she was talking to her mom, her stepfather, Debo, came out and struck up a conversation with Jean.

So who all went to the track meet the other day? he asked.

A bunch of people, you know, the same ones that have always come out to support us.

What do you mean the same ones? I need names.

Jean did not want to get into it with Debo because she sensed he was a little upset. She decided to mention two of the other women that were runners with her in the meet.

Who were the men with you all? he asked.

Just the manager of the club and some of the guys from the relay team, Jean replied.