Raising Children the Old Fashioned Way: For a Better Tomorrow

By B. J. Hodges

What does Gods plan for raising children look like? It looks and smells like success with Gods favor in bloom! When we partner with God, using his plan, he will open the door to unimaginable blessings.

Our world has been broken and dysfunctional since the sins of Adam and Eve. As the population of the world increases, so does evil (sin).

Raising Children the Old Fashioned Way: For a Better Tomorrow will bring parents hope, encouragement, and an avenue to success when they put Gods parenting plan into action.

Raising Children the Old Fashioned Way is a scripturally based guideline that presents Gods opinion, wisdom, and common sense for raising children in accordance to his plan. Roman 15:4 says, Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scripture, we might have hope.

Children deserve the best, and that is to be raised by Gods wisdom and principles. It is obvious God has been ignored for far too long. It is quite apparent that the world today lacks Gods knowledge, Gods wisdom, and Gods discernment. Parents have the ability to change this atrocity for the sake of all children.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Sep 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781490776859

B. J. Hodges

B. J. (Bobbi) Hodges is the mother of three grown children and the grandmother of six children. She has made her home in Beaverton Oregon. After thirty years in the medical field, she retired to devote her time to writing full-time. BJ became a Christian sixty-four years ago but began serious Bible study thirty years ago. She has been blessed with many study trips to the Holy Land, Israel. To be able to study, read, and enjoy the Holy Bible is not only a blessing but is a wonderful privilege. BJ learned of God’s parenting plan through years of study, and she has often said, “I wish I had the knowledge of raising children God’s way when I was raising my children.” Hodges is the author of Experience God—His love, His blessings, His power, and Raising Children the Old Fashioned Way: For a Better Tomorrow, along with many other writings and articles. Faith is not believing God can—faith is believing God will. Jesus said in Matthew 21:22, “If you believe and do not doubt, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

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Copyright 2016 B.J. HODGES.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7684-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7686-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7685-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016914666

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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Website

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Preface

Chapter One Parent Responsibilities

Chapter Two Developing A Child’s Foundation

Chapter Three Basic Training From Newborn Through Teen

Chapter Four Finding Proper Day Care

Chapter Five Wisdom For Wives And Moms

Chapter Six Wisdom For Husbands And Dads

Chapter Seven God’s Warning About Child Abuse

Chapter Eight Discipline, Not Abuse Is Scriptural

Chapter Nine Are Little White Lies Sinful?

Chapter Ten Develop God Esteem Not Self-Esteem

Chapter Eleven Child Depression, Fear And Hormones

Chapter Twelve Honor God With: Attitude, Food, Dress, And Language

Chapter Thirteen Bully Or Bullied?

Chapter Fourteen Teens Are Blessings To Enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen Drug Abuse, Deliverance And Prevention

Chapter Sixteen Teen Dating And Pre-Marital Sex

Chapter Seventeen Homosexuality: Teach God’s Truth

Chapter Eighteen The Blame Game Is Dangerous

Chapter Nineteen Single Parents

Chapter Twenty Praying God’s Promises Over Our Children It’s Never Too Late

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to express my deepest appreciation for all the support and contributions from Mary Standley. Thank you Mary for your precious time and editing skills that you so generously contributed.

I am totally indebted to my wonderful prayer partner Tami Hoff. Thank you Tami for your much needed encouragement and for your many heartfelt prayers. Yes, indeed our God is faithful!

I am equally grateful for my friends Joan Hamrick and Stephanie Mehl for their valuable input.

I have a special acknowledgement and appreciation for Stacy Tele Kerber who donated many hours of technical support. Without you Stacy I would still be up that creek without a paddle! Thank you.

I would be amiss if I failed to acknowledge my artistic and talented artist friend, Linda Schatzel, who created and contributed the book cover. Thank you Linda.

INTRODUCTION

Our world has become increasingly violent, hostile, and broken. People are spewing out so much unrest, fear, anger, hate, and dissatisfaction. All of these things are symptoms of a broken world, begging for change. The truth is only God Jehovah, creator of life, can intervene and change the hearts of people. What we do as a people is relevant for the kind of future we will have. Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

We, the people, do have the power to make a difference by repenting and turning our hearts and souls over to God. This would be the most significant contribution we can make for real change. Parents want a better society to raise children to be happy, giving, unselfish, trustworthy, well adjusted, and above all, godly children. No one but God can read our hearts so why not trust Him with our future and children. We don’t know our own hearts let alone the hearts of our children or others.

Only the power of God can change a broken world. The question is does God have our attention yet, or do we believe the world is just wonderful the way it is? If we truly want change it needs to start in the home. This may require us to change our thoughts about parenting. Romans 2:5 But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when His righteous judgment will be revealed.

It is never too late to acquire or improve our parenting skills. Most parents have a deep desire to give their children the best of everything, which starts with good parenting skills. We are not born with parenting skills, but we can learn, develop, and cultivate these skills with the guiding hand of our Lord God. Fortunately, our God, in all His unlimited wisdom and love, gave us a wonderful instruction book of how to live and raise children, it’s His Living Word, the Holy Bible.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. All children belong to our Lord; which means parents have an obligation to learn God’s Ways in rearing His children, His way.

Raising Children The Old Fashioned Way, for a better tomorrow, will give parents greater insight and understanding of what God expects from them, as well as learn of what God has purposed for parents and their children. It will bring parents encouragement and hope of a bright, prosperous, successful, and flourishing future for themselves and their precious children.

Learn how to cover children with God’s favor and receive the fullness of His blessings. Learn of God’s plan for our lives and the lives of our children. Learn how to teach children how to receive the many awesome blessings that God has in store. Most importantly, teach children how to have a personal relationship with our Holy God, who will pilot their lives.

Children, as we all do, need to have a solid relationship with our Heavenly Father, as well as a strong godly influence from the leadership of their parents. This will allow children to have a truly healthy spiritual development that will produce well balanced, healthy children, both physical and mentally.

Learn the difference of being a religious law and rule fanatic, which can bring spiritual death, verses a God obeying spiritual parent which will promote a spiritual approach to life and a closer walk with our Lord who created us.

All children are wonderful blessings from God, and all children deserve to have godly, loving, giving, caring, moral, and spiritual parents that will bring love and stability to their lives. Our world has a high demand and a desperate need for these parents. They are the hope that can heal this crippled and dysfunctional world we now live in. Children are the future and how they are raised will dictate the climate or our world to come.

God’s Will, will produce success, peace, and joy. Our will brings, unrest, disappointment, and an unfulfilled Spirit. Our goal is to accomplish God’s Will for our lives and to raise our children in accordance to God’s Plan. Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s Will is, His good, pleasing and perfect Will.

PREFACE

Raising Children The Old Fashioned Way is a book or tool of biblical truths and principles of God’s guidelines for raising children HIS way. Our God Jehovah, God of the Holy Bible, gives us Scriptures with specific instructions of how He wants us to parent His children; who are our blessings.

God has a wonderful plan for every child born and parents are to help their children to recognize and develop the gifts and talents that God has blessed our children with. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

God has designated and entrusted parents with children to love, develop, nourish, protect, and teach them using godly wisdom and discernment. Not only is parenting a blessing and a privilege, but it is also an enormous responsibility to raise children in the way of the Lord. Psalm 18:30 As for God, His way is perfect: the Word of the Lord is flawless. Psalm 127:3 Children are a reward from the Lord.

Children are not accidents. God has purposed each child and He chose each parent. Hence the importance of following God’s plan for raising children. The benefit of God’s plan can be passed to our children so they too can experience all of God, and receive His many blessings and promises.

It is understandable why parents are so confused about what is the right way to raise children. Today, parents are living under a dictatorship which is divided among government, school authority, and teachers. All are using the same rhetoric and threats of taking our children away from us if we don’t obey their rules. Of course they all claim to be experts in raising our children. Even the so called experts or specialists claim to know more than anyone else. Most of them have read many text books except for the only book that truly counts, the Holy Bible written by the creator of life!

The way I see it, most of these folks are the same people who managed to put our children in harm’s way in the first place. It is time for parents to stand up for what is right and raise their children according to the plan of God and let God be responsible for the outcome. After all, God is the only one we truly need to please.

We don’t need to memorize hundreds of laws or thousands of Scriptures, we only need to follow God’s principles, know His heart, trust Him and obey His Word.

Raising Children The Old Fashioned Way is a Scripturally based guide to help find the path that is pleasing to God. Our children are precious and they deserve to have the best parents possible. Truly, who knows what is best for our children? Only God is all knowing and only God knows what is best for every individual.

Our world’s moral compass is broken, so don’t rely on it. The only word we can trust is the Word of God. Unfortunately, today’s children are being raised by the world’s standards, ideas and morals, not God’s way. This sad fact is quite apparent in our society today.

CHAPTER ONE

PARENT RESPONSIBILITIES

PRAY FOR WISDOM, DISCERNMENT AND KNOWLEDGE

We live in a world with an overwhelming degree of deceit and an unimaginable magnitude of peril. It would actually be ludicrous and irresponsible to even try to raise children without the wisdom, discernment, and direction of our God Almighty Exceptional parenthood absolutely requires godly wisdom, knowledge, and discernment and it would be arrogant and presumptuous of us to even think we know how to rear children in our own power and knowledge. God is the key to raising children and His way is the formula for success.

Knowing that God will hold all parents responsible for their choices and decisions in raising their children, who would want to do this without God’s help? It would not only be very foolish, but terrifying for us and our children, not to ask God for His wisdom, guidance, and discernment. Our children deserve the best parenting ever and that would be God’s Way, through His Word. Romans 14:12 The Lord said, Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Most of our ideas of parenting come from our own past experiences and the things taught to us by our parents or caregivers. Whether it would be right or wrong, we will practice what we have been taught and we will act on our own preconceived notions or opinions. Nonetheless, much of our parenting skills will be acquired from our on the job training.

Whatever our beliefs might be, we should ask ourselves, Do they mirror the world’s standards or do they mirror God’s principals and values? The Holy Bible is God’s written and spoken living word that give us clear instructions on how to raise godly and well adjusted children that bring honor and glory to God. It also gives parents clear direction on what their responsibilities are. Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Life has no guarantees, but God’s promises can’t be broken.

There is no greater privilege than being blessed with children to love, teach, and protect; and there is no greater responsibility than raising children in accordance to the will of God. This is what makes a parent a true parent in the sight of God.

Yes, of course we will make mistakes for we do live in a fallen (sinful) world, but we are fortunate to have a forgiving, loving, and merciful God to cover us and our children when we repent. He will keep putting us back on the right path as many times as it takes. Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. So don’t destroy your joy of parenting with guilt; instead get yourselves right with God and keep in mind He wants us to succeed as a parent and as His child, regardless at what point or age we start our parenting.

In a sense, one could say parents are God’s babysitters. In other words, He has entrusted parents with His pride and joy, our children. Our children belong to God and it is our responsibility to teach them the Word of God that will give them the pathway to Him. Psalm 25:4, 5, 21 Show me Your ways, O Lord: Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your Truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; Oh You I wait all the day. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You.

With all the wonderful blessings of parenthood comes parental responsibilities, which means some responsibilities are designated exclusively for parents. Raising children is not the duty or the responsibility of the government, churches, friends, or grandparents, and it does not take a village to raise a child. It does, however, take devoted, obedient, and godly loving parents to raise children in accordance to God’s plan.

Today’s world reflects the lack of godly parenting and the desperate need for God’s parental wisdom, discernment, knowledge, and His favor. Unfortunately, there are too many children not receiving love, parenting, and teachings that God has commanded. So many of these children are left to their own devices and wisdom, which ultimately lead to the children’s own destruction. Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, discipline will drive it far from him. Children who lack proper parenting will make decisions and choices of their own understanding and foolish beliefs. Due to their lack of godly knowledge and maturity, they often make foolish decisions that are sometimes deadly, literally.

Parents have a moral and biblical obligation to God to raise His children in the way He deems, in accordance to His Word. Parenting is so much more than just putting food on the table and a roof over children’s heads. Indeed, we have the responsibility to train, develop both physically and mentally, discipline, educate, love and lead our children to be the creatures that God has designed them to be for His purpose.

Children’s first teachers, counselors, mentors, and role models, are the parents, but it is God who is their Provider and Savior. It is for our children’s benefit that they learn, very early in life, to depend on God for everything and to trust the Lord’s Word. This will be pleasing to God and it will bring the children many blessings and peace. It is God who will put His desire in one’s heart and it is God who knows what is best for our children and it is God who knows what could ultimately be harmful. It is neither Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, nor even parents, who do the providing. Nonetheless, parents do have a duty to remind their children that God is their Provider. Only God knows the future, only God knows our heart, and only God can fill the void in a heart.

All of us need to pray for courage and rebuke all the political correctness and false narratives of God’s principles that the world has embraced, and get on board with the Lord’s plans and values. We need to keep in mind that poverty itself comes from putting our own plans in the hands of the world instead of trusting God for His plans to be accomplished in our lives.

Whether we are a parent or we are desiring to become a parent, we need to ask ourselves, Do I have the courage to trust God with my child or would I rather trust in myself and the world we live in? If we choose to trust God, then we shouldn’t be afraid to stand firm for God and His purpose for our lives and our children’s lives. God will never let us down. Romans 10:11 Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.

As we study God’s Scriptures, we gradually notice He is changing our hearts and our thoughts to align with His Word. We must allow God to parent us so He can reveal how He wants us to parent. Also, in the same manner God heals marriages so children can experience a strong family foundation and grow in a healthy environment. 1Corinthians 3:11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

God wants us to enjoy parenthood not curse it. However, our enemy of life, Satan, will do whatever he can to derail us from God’s plan. Take heed and don’t fall into the lie of whatever happens is God’s plan, it is not. God gave us a free will to make our own choices, therefore, we can choose to follow God or Satan. There are no other choices. If we follow anything outside of God’s Word we will be following the plan of Satan, the enemy of God and us.

Our enemy will be subtle in his tactics to keep us out of prayer and away from Scriptures for he knows that the Holy Bible is also God’s handbook for us to raise our children. Satan will attempt to keep us very busy, whether it be with an employer, home chores, or church work, just as long as he keeps us too busy to pray or even think of God’s goodness and the Holy Spirit’s leadings.

Satan can’t read our minds nor can he make us sin, but he can give us thoughts and tempt us to sin. He may start by tempting us to spend too much money and bring about worry. He temps us to overeat, overwork, overreact; all of which will bring us exhaustion and illness. He will encourage us to lose our temper, tell a lie, or to justify our sins. The enemy will tell us lies about our children and deceive us into believing we are bad parents if we don’t give our children more money, more material things, and more freedom. Satan will lead us to believe this is how we should teach our children about finances and how to be independent. Don’t believe his lies, these things can bring harm if we don’t use discernment. Above all he will tell you that, Satan does not exist, giving him access and freedom to your mind.

The time we spend in prayer with the Lord and the time we spend in His Word will be the way we learn His truth and direction. We must not allow Satan to distract us from our special time with God. Prayer is protection for us and our family. Satan doesn’t have power over God, it is God who has the power over Satan.

However, God will not intervene with Satan’s plan unless we ask Him to; so we need to exercise our free will and choose God. Read the book of Job and see just how much freedom Satan actually has. It is a good reminder of why it is so important to stay close to God and obey His Word. Be aware, it is Satan who will get our kids on drugs, it is Satan who will destroy our marriage, it is Satan who will make us sick, it is Satan who causes poverty and it is Satan who hates God’s creation, the human being. However, it is God who loves His creation, and it is God who sent Jesus to overcome the devil’s plans and deliver us from Satan’s traps. But we must choose God in order to escape Satan’s plans for us.

Trust me, obedience to God will make parenthood truly a pleasure and a highly enjoyable experience. We can embrace every wonderful stage of our children, from infancy through their teen years. Parents, we can’t afford to raise our children without God in a world where Satan has major influence and God has given him dominion over unbelievers. Satan is called the prince of the power of the air Ephesians 2:2 You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil, the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. John 12:31 Jesus said, ‘Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out.’" Satan is ruler of this world. He acquired this world