Parenting Practices Producing Progress, Prosperity & Posterity

By Lurtan Patterson

The contents of this book for the most part seek to alert parents, to the several roles we are called upon to execute. In attempting to execute these roles, we must be ever mindful of the tide of opposition and wave of complexity that would come against even our best efforts. However, we cannot quit and we must not quit. With unrelenting fervor, each parent must commit to perform his/her roles dutifully to his/her children. This commitment assumes an urgency of even greater proportions, especially when one recognizes that children are an heritage of the Lord and we are acting as custodians who must give an account of our stewardship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664230309

Lurtan Patterson

Lurtan Patterson is a graduate of the West Indies school of Theology (WIST) where he obtained a Diploma and Bachelors in Bible and Theology. At present, he is a lecturer at WIST. He’s also the holder of a Bachelors and a Diploma in Education from the University of the West Indies. He pursued a teaching career at both the Primary and Secondary school levels and also taught Adult Education classes. In addition, he possesses a Master’s and Doctorate degree in Christian Counselling from the Jacksonville Theological Seminary. He is also an Ordained minister, Licensed Marriage Officer and speaker at retreats, camps, graduations, workshops, seminars, and conferences. He is also an insurance and financial advisor and a bonafide member of both the Trinidad and Tobago and the Caribbean Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors (TTAIFA) and (CARAIFA) respectively. In addition, he has earned the honour to sit as a Life Member on the internationally recognized and prestigious Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT). At present, he serves along with his wife Judy, as the chief servant at the Marabella Pentecostal Church.

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WestBow Press rev. date:  04/22/2021

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

With sincere gratitude, for the assistance provided so willingly in making this book a reality.

◆ God the Father, Son and Holy-Spirit- The inspiration, health, strength and life.

◆ My Family- For your love, understanding and solid support; Judy, Deena-Marie, Lemuel, and Kemuel.

◆ Alicia George and Shinelle Bramble- Typing and willingly and consistently supporting.

◆ Denzel Hercules- Artwork and Design on Cover. Great job!

◆ Marabella Pentecostal Church- Constant encouragement given to write the book.

◆ All my students both past and present.

IN DEDICATION

Dedicated to the memory of my

Father (Daddy)

and

Mother (Mammy).

CORNELIUS

&

CORNETTA

Both Deceased.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

In Dedication

Introduction

Parenting Defined

Chapter 1     Providing For Your Children

Chapter 2     Protecting Your Children

Chapter 3     Praying For and With Your Children

Chapter 4     Probing Your Children

Chapter 5     Positioning Your Children

Chapter 6     Playing With Your Children

Chapter 7     Prophesying Over Your Children

Chapter 8     Promising Your Children

Chapter 9     Preaching to Your Children

Chapter 10   Perceiving Your Children

Chapter 11   Praising Your Children

Chapter 12   Pursuing Your Children’s Welfare

Chapter 13   Peaceful Environment for Your Children

Chapter 14   Parental Repentance

Chapter 15   Progress, Prosperity, Posterity

INTRODUCTION

The family was put in place by God as an institution upon the earth. In it, God intended harmony and happiness to abound. Within the family however, numerous negative occurrences have been plaguing this important unit the world over. Moreover, the relationships among family members have at times been strained, thereby affecting the overall tone in the home. To add to this, the cultural landscape, outside of the home has exerted tremendous influence, both positive and negative, on family members at different times and to varying degrees of intensity. I am firm in my view that the family is largely responsible for shaping attitudes and values within its members, being the first agent of socialization.

I have had the opportunity to interact with members of families at different levels. This included meeting some as a student in the classroom, youth group, at a camp, retreat or workshop. It also involved interacting with others in the counselling room, at a school’s parent day or even a graduation ceremony. Wherever I met with them one thing became extremely clear- families of all types are subject to challenges of one type or another in raising their children. Over the years, in addressing parents and children publicly and in private, I have sought to understand both worlds and offer encouraging counsel to facilitate the both sides working together for the greater good of the individual, family and the wider society.

This work is therefore simply putting into writing, in one volume, much of what I’ve been sharing over the years at different fora. In so doing, I have been able to draw meaningfully on my own experiences within my family; my experiences as a school teacher; my experiences as an Ordained Minister of Religion and my experiences as a Licensed Marriage officer.

The contents of this book for the most part seek to alert parents, to the several roles we are called upon to execute. In attempting to execute these roles, we must be ever mindful of the tide of opposition and wave of complexity that would come against even our best efforts. However, we cannot quit and we must not quit. With unrelenting fervor, each parent must commit to perform his/her roles dutifully to his/her children. This commitment assumes an urgency of even greater proportions, especially when one recognizes that children are an heritage of the Lord and we are acting as custodians who must give an account of our stewardship.

Having been given to us by God, there is therefore an expectation that our children would be properly nurtured and developed. I am acutely aware that as parents, we can be so pressed by the daily responsibilities of life that some aspects of parenting can be overlooked. This may not always occur because of carelessness or indifference, but at times because of the many competing matters that are vying for attention. Unfortunately though, it is the omission to give the required attention to some of these matters, even the small ones, that can lead to a deleterious, dangerous degeneration with our children. Sadly, only when that stage is glaringly evident, are some parents forced to reset their entire schedules and refocus their attention to give adequate attention to the matter at hand. Even then, some may still be too busy or otherwise engaged, to take corrective action.

It is my sincere hope that mothers and fathers, young couples, those preparing to start a family, grandparents, teachers, aunts and uncles, and all those involved in the noble task of raising children will find the contents of this book to be not merely informative and inspirational, but content that can be meaningfully implemented.

The ensuing work is therefore intended to highlight some of the critical areas in children’s lives that need to be given priority attention. To these, I’m sure each parent can add some more. However, if these are consciously, carefully and consistently practised by parents, the trajectory on which the children, the family and society would be placed, would be one of progress and prosperity thereby ensuring the preservation of a positive posterity.

PARENTING DEFINED

Parenting can be viewed as the art and task of training, teaching, shaping, supporting, nurturing and developing children to become and be all that they should in life. This involves taking into account their individual differences, in order to maximize the results. It also includes the appropriate utilization of the various strategies and methods available to parents, in this noble task of parenting.

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Providing For Your Children

But if any provide not for his own and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.

1 Timothy 5:8

The above text suggests very strongly that parents are to provide for their children’s needs. Failure to so do is an affront to God. Our Heavenly Father provides a perfect picture portraying the care that should be bestowed upon children by parents. First, He knows our needs. Matthew 6:32 confirms … for your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. We must be intimately acquainted with the needs of our children. These needs include the social, academic, economic, psychological, physiological and spiritual.

Our Heavenly Father does not merely know our needs, he provides in relation to what we need. Let’s consider this text from Luke 11:11—13.

If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone?

Or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?

Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

The text presupposes that earthly fathers respond to their children’s needs based on what those needs are at a given point in time. If earthly fathers are so disposed toward their children, how much more our Heavenly Father will provide for us all that we need. The scripture does not cast any doubt on a father’s willingness and readiness to provide for his children. The implication is that it is the expected, decent and honourable thing to do. Children ought never to be on bended knees importuning parents for basic necessities. These would include, food, clothing, school supplies, school and lesson fees, transportation costs, allowances and such like. These expenses, in spite of their frequency and the length of time they are incurred, will come to an end at some point in time, all things being equal. The free will option will then be the parent’s, to continue to extend financial assistance to children and/ or to assume the act of charitable generosity by offering the same or a part thereof to the grandchildren. Any child would feel a sense of assurance and mental and emotional comfort, when he knows that his parents will provide for his needs. The anxiety, stress, worry and embarrassment are eliminated. This can certainly contribute to better, holistic performance by the child.

Regrettably, there are too numerous instances of children’s needs competing with parental vices or habits. Among them are: substance abuse, gambling, intractable shopping and impulse buying, womanizing and partying. Parents must prioritize their spending to ensure their children are not in any way disadvantaged. Here is a word of counsel and encouragement to any child whose provision was compromised by these competing vices. If even you suffered at the hands of your parents for daily provision; if you were forced to discontinue your schooling so you could work to contribute to the family’s income; if even your education was not of paramount importance to your family, do not allow that vicious cycle to continue. Take the decision that you will not allow the same to happen with your children. Purpose in your heart that you will break that sinister cycle, by providing for your children’s needs. This may necessitate you restarting your academic pursuit so that you can become economically viable. These words are not being written without an appreciation of the economic times in which we live. However, we cannot surrender to the negatives that surround us. Our children were born into the world, through us, which places on us a God-given responsibility to care for them. No job is too menial or condescending when providing for our children is at stake. We must however be satisfied that it is characterized by honesty, decency, legality, dignity and integrity.

Providing for children is never to be dependent on the quality of the relationship between mother and father. Sadly, it is easier for some fathers to contribute to their children’s upkeep when their partners are in good standing with them. This is unacceptable and betrays a sense of immaturity and puerility. Provision for children is not contingent upon getting your laundry done, favourite food cooked, clothes being ironed or sexual favours generously granted. It is a responsibility that must be executed whatever the prevailing circumstances. This is in no way exempting the other partner from fulfilling the mutually agreed to responsibilities of the household. Both spouses are to do all in their power to make each other as comfortable and contented as possible.

It would do well to note that there are always persons external to the home who may be willing to provide for your children; this may however be done at a disgustingly high price that may leave indelible scars. Parents should caution their children about receiving gifts, money and other favours from external sources including relatives. While some may be genuine, parents need to examine each case to verify its authenticity and capture any camouflaged ulterior motives. Even those that begin seemingly harmless, can degenerate into a disastrous and despicable state of affairs. Hence the reason I make the point, that the best providers, under God, for children, are the parents. If someone feels the urge to make a contribution, I suggest that