Parenting Children into Wholeness: Strong, Lifelong Relationships with Your Children and Maximized Potential

By Ann B. Makena

Strong, Lifelong Relationships with Your Children along with Maximizing their Potential is a result of intentional parenting.

Includes general parenting, single parenting, and advanced parenting. Focuses on raising great children, developing healthy and lasting relationships, and maximizing their potential. This brings fulfillment and wholeness in their lives, leaving you happy and fulfilled as a parent.

Ann Makena has written a parenting book that is an exceptional balance of practical or real world strategies coupled with the equally important areas of emotional and spiritual well-being of both the caregiver and the child. She has an innate ability to distill the complexities of parenting into easily digestible concepts. This book is a reflection of her own personal story: amazing. heroic. virtuous. (Dr.Zaccariello, Michael J., Ph.D., L.P.)

In Parenting Children into Wholeness, Ann Makena has given us a rare look into the vital role of parents. It is rare in two ways. First, it places parents back in the empowered role God intended parents to have in a childs life as adults who carefully shape and develop character in a healthy atmosphere of loving discipline. It is also rare in being both a wonderful primer for new moms and dads and a deeply thoughtful refresher that encourages veteran parents in their crucial role. Highly recommended reading! (Pastor Jim Anderson, Senior pastor Harbor church Hastings, & President of HNI)

Ann Makena has written a manual for parenting that reflects her faith, her experience as a mother and the lessons she has learned from listening to and counseling others. There are many wise reflections on the fundamental principles of parenting. These can create a lifelong relationship with the child. A parent can give their child the wherewithal to live as a confident adult, with a sense of direction and comfort in the decisions they need to make. It is emphasized that even when good parenting is acquired belatedly, there is still the capacity to make changes for the better. (Dr. Galen Breningstall, MD Neurologist)

Thank you to Ann Makena for sharing your advice, wisdom, and experience with us again. Ann depicts the realities of parenthood, such as Being a good parent takes a lot of work. She utilizes her life experiences, joys/challenges as a mother, and her religious background as a chaplain to provide a framework for parents to build relationships with their children. She even addresses the challenges parents can face in different walks of life, such as single parenthood and parenting a child with special needs. (Dr. Anna Milz, MD, MPH, Pediatrician)

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781973605089

Ann B. Makena

Ann B. Makena is a wife and a mother. She is an author and founder of Citys Heart Cry Ministries. She is ordained a minister. She is completing a M.A in Ministry leadership. She has M.A. of Theological studies, B/S in Psychology- counseling, B.A in Divinity and received clinical pastoral education. Previously Ann served 10 years as a full time Hospice chaplain providing spiritual support during end of life and their families.

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Copyright © 2017 Ann B. Makena.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 byThe Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV). Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-0509-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0508-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017914973

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/08/2018

DEDICATION

D ear God, the thought of you as my Father takes my breath away. Your character makes it clear what a parent should be like. Your love and sacrifice are unconditional. I have learned to trust you more with each passing day. I am in awe of you, Father. I am blessed to be your child. To my children, Sally and Nate, my prayer is that I am the best mother I can be for you, my lovely delight from God. My father, Joseph, and mother, Dorothy, you are my heroes. You are such wise parents. Because you didn’t write a parenting book, I write this book in your honor.

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part 1:   Things to Keep in Mind

There Is No Perfect Parent

Parenting Is about Your Child’s Life

Dealing With Guilt

Your Wholeness Matters

A Few Years of Your Impact Will Last Your Children Their Lifetimes

Parent Child Relationship Lasts a Lifetime

Bitterness in Later Years

Maximizing your child’s potential

Things versus People

Raising a Talented Child—The Foundation Matters Greatly

What Is the Human Foundation?

Instead of isolating, insulate your children

Parental Blessings

Unity among Parents/Adults in the Home

Adult Family Dynamics and Relationships

Conflict resolution

Maintain self-respect with your children

Children Cope with Life as Well as Their Parents

The Earlier, the Better

Keep It Age- and Gender-Appropriate

When Change Is Needed

Loss and grief

Part 2:   General Parenting—All Parents

Pray for Your Children

Intentional Foresight (Have a Vision)

Quantity and Quality of Time

Start from Day One

Demonstrate Love and Affection

Why Unconditional Love?

Faith

Nurture Uniqueness

Priority

Communication

Commitment

Being Intentional

Discipline

Discipline during Parenting

Decision-Making

Hard Work/Work Smart

Boundaries

Consistency

Stability

Being vs Doing

Teach Them Gratitude

Self-Education

Let Children Be Children

Be Patient

Train Your Children to Read

Advocating for Your Children

Nutrition

Healthy Touch

Be Intentional about Your Spiritual Home Environment

Being Aware of the Subconscious Mind

In Case of Adoption

During Separation or Divorce of Parents

Children in Abusive Homes

Part 3:   Single Parenting

Acceptance

Let God Cleanse Your Heart

Take Individual Responsibility

Help Children Understand They Are Not to Blame for the Circumstances

Help Build Their Self-Worth

Keep Your Emotions in Check

Self-Care

Realize You Can’t Make Up for the Missing Parent

Set Standards for Your Life and Your Children

Develop Your Faith

When Finances Are Tight

Get Educated on the Missing Pieces

More Sacrifices and Harder Work

Shun Away Shame

Strong Boundaries

Teach Children Respect for the Other Parent

Part 4:   Advanced Parenting

Acceptance of the Situation

Giving Up Control

Self-Care

Your marriage

All Our Children

Raising Our Child with Advanced Needs

Spiritual Development

Nurturing Emotional Development

Raising a Victor in Your child

Your Other Children/The Siblings of the Child with Advanced Needs

As the Parent/Guardian Caregiver

Having an Inner Awareness Is Helpful

Self-Educating

A Practice of Spiritual Alertness

Engaging in Spiritual Warfare

Developing Resilience

Develop in Discernment

Learn to Encourage Yourself

Forgiving Is Necessary

Being Okay with Personal Boundaries

Family and Other Important Relationships

Moments of Solitude

Exercise, Nutrition, and General Health

Journaling

Decide Never to Quit

Part 5:   Conclusion

About the Author

PREFACE

P arenting is a commonly used term. The question is, how often do we seriously think about what good parenting means? Is it only about having children? What makes parenting successful? How do we define success? What about all relationships involved? Is commitment to parenting necessary, and what does that mean? Whose responsibility is it to parent our children, and what does that mean? Are our children the best that they can be? How do we influence their potential as parents?

This book inspires parents and those involved in raising children to take charge and make the best of their children as well as develop life long lasting relationships. Raising children is a lot of work and it is well worth it. The period for making an impact is very short compared to the rest of our children’s life. Having a strategy for your parenting and sticking to it makes the whole difference.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am thankful to God for making me His child and for being my Father and the greatest parent I know. I am grateful He is in my life. His unconditional love has sustained me through my life, and His grace has been sufficient in times of need. It is because of His grace that I get to share the things I have learnt along the journey in various ways about parenting. I am in awe of God.

Thank you, Steve, my husband, and my friend. Your love and support has helped me be increasingly who God has called me to be. I thank you for your understanding through putting together my writing and bringing them to completion. I love you and appreciate who you are. I thank God for my children, Nate, and Sally. We have been through a lot together, and they have remained trusting of the process. I couldn’t ask for better children to be mine and to raise. I love you both, and I am thankful for the assignment God gave me when He placed you into my life to be your mother. I take you both very seriously. I am thankful for my parents Joseph and Dorothy for the good work they did in raising us and the sacrifices they made for us their children. Thank you for your advice on life issues. I am thankful for the support they continue to give us in our adult lives. We are so blessed to have loving, dedicated, amazing parents like you pray for God’s blessings and sustaining grace upon you. We love you. I am thankful for my siblings Lucy, Mary, Isabella and Koome for always being there and supporting in through my life journey. Your support has meant a lot in pursuing my life dreams. I wouldn’t be me without my family.

Thank you, Pastor Jim Anderson, for taking your time to review this book while in process. God, bless you. Thank you, Dr. Katherine Nickels, for encouraging me to write on advanced parenting and for taking your time to review this book while in process. Thank you, Dr. Breningstall Galen, for taking your time to review this book while in progress. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you Dr. Michael Zachariello for reviewing this book while it was in process. Thank you, Dr. Anna Milz for reviewing this book while in progress and for your support. I pray blessings on each one of you.

Thank you to Westbow press for editing and publishing this book. Blessings to all those who were involved in the production of this book and Westbow press at large.

INTRODUCTION

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

—Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

W hile there is no perfect parent in existence, most parents can do a better job or improve on a good job if they put more thought into it. Parenting is a challenging undertaking, and this book is meant to encourage parents to do the best they can. Each child is extremely unique, requiring unique care and understanding. This book does not give details for every situation but acts as a guide to various subjects on raising a whole child.

This book has five major sections:

1. Some things to keep in mind. A parent-child relationship is a lifelong relationship. Oftentimes, we tend to focus on what seems to be getting us by now and don’t take time to think about what that might mean down the road.

2. The second section is general panting strategies that any parent can apply to building up their children into wholeness. This can help them deal with whatever life brings from a place of strength.

3. The third section addresses issues related to single parenting and what may help make the best of the situation.

4. The fourth section addresses issues related to advanced parenting, including raising a child with a chronic medical condition or any abnormality, and what might help in making the best of the situation.

5. The final section is the conclusion.

Having studied, observed, and applied a lot of what I share, I am confident in sharing with others and believe others can experience positive results with the application of what I share. Getting information alone does not transform things. It’s the application of the information that makes the difference. If what you are doing is not working, try something new.

EXPRESSION OF FAITHFULNESS

Look at the sun

As she makes her way

Through the beautiful skies

Her rays smiling gloriously

Are seen by all, alike

Her warmth like a blanket

Felt equally alike

Look at the sun

Rising in the morning

Always from the east

Never from the north

She strolls across the sky

Gently like a dove

Seen by all alike

Look at the sun

Setting in the evening

The colors that surround

As beautiful as can be

She vanishes shyly

As though she is aware

Of millions eyes watching

Look at the sun

Never changing her course

Trustworthy to lead the way

Dependable to brighten all

Consistent in everything

In her life, we find

True expression of faithfulness

by Ann Makena

PART 1

Things to Keep in Mind

There Is No Perfect Parent

M any good parents carry the burden of shame and guilt over mistakes that have happened or something that didn’t turn out as expected. In hindsight,