Heaven on Earth: A Biblical Model for Parenting

By Lynn Sandberg

God is the perfect father, and you can improve your parenting style by looking to Him. He sets the example for how to be a provider, protector, teacher, and disciplinarian.

This guidebook to Christian parenting explores the attributes of God a parent should try to emulate. It also brings to light four ways that Jesus grew in Luke 2:52, developing intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially. As a parent, you can help your children follow in their saviors footsteps.

Just as the Lord disciplines those He loves, parents must discipline their children. Heaven on Earth carefully describes biblical principles to help parents provide the environment children need.

It offers proper and healthy techniques to aid parents in leading children to honor and respect not only their parents but ultimately the Lord. Whats more, it draws a line between appropriate and abusive actions to control childrens behavior. Parents can proactively develop a disciplinary plan to guard against crossing these boundaries.

Parents face many challenges to lead and guide the family in godly ways, and many struggle with the feelings of anger and failure. Find encouragement and strength through the power of Gods Word and the strength of the Holy Spirit, and get practical help in facing rebellious and wayward children.

You can be inspired to overcome any obstacle, and raise your children for the glory of God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490894447

Lynn Sandberg

Lynn Sandberg is a volunteer minister at the Harrison County Adult Detention Center in Gulfport, Mississippi. She lives in Long Beach, Mississippi, with her husband, Bob, where they teach children in Sunday school and Bible drill. She has a passion for communicating the truth of God’s Word to all she teaches. She and Bob have three adult children who are all involved with the church.

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Copyright © 2015 Lynn Sandberg.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted the NASB is used:

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)

Copyright © 2008 Harvard University. For more information about The Healthy Eating Pyramid, please see The Nutrition Source, Department of Nutrition, Harvard School of Public Health, http://www.thenutritionsource.org, and Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy, by Walter C. Willett, M.D. and Patrick J. Skerrett (2005), Free Press/Simon & Schuster Inc.

1. The cover photograph- Vince Daube

2. Author photograph-Jeff Andrews

3. Photograph page 21-Sarah Bannerman

4. Photograph page 23-Jeff Andrews

5. Photograph page 67-Sarah Bannerman

6. Photograph page 69-Jeff Andrews

7. Photograph page 89-Jeff Andrews

8. Photograph page 111-Sarah Bannerman

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-9442-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9443-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9444-7 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/10/2015

Contents

An Introduction: The Journey

Chapter 1 Laying the Foundation

The Inner Connection What Happens Within the Heart, Body, and Mind of a Child

Chapter 2 Jesus Grew in Wisdom

Chapter 3 Jesus Grew in Stature

The People Connection The Interaction Between the Child and Someone Else

Chapter 4 Jesus Grew in Favor with God

Chapter 5 Jesus Grew in Favor with Men

Chapter 6 Love Enough to Discipline

Chapter 7 Discipline Brought Home

Chapter 8 I Feel Like a Failure

Chapter 9 Parenting in Times of Crisis

Chapter 10 The Angry Parent

The Conclusion: Be a Faithful Steward

Dedication

First and foremost, I dedicate this project to my amazing husband, Bob. He not only partnered in raising our children, but he also undyingly supported and encouraged me. He, above everyone else, has seen the Lord’s work in me. I am forever grateful that the Lord led him to choose me for a wife, and I thank him for working side by side with me in raising our children. The Lord has provided this man to be Christ in the flesh to me. This writing project would never have come to fruition without him.

To my beloved children, Jennifer, Richard, and Eugene—my prayer is that you would know in the depths of your heart that my love for you runs deep with only my love for your dad and the Lord being greater. I pray that your dad’s and my devotion to you has made you strong and equipped you for all of life. Each of you is unique, and my heart wells with joy and pride to see how the Lord matured you into wonderful young adults. Thank you for the privilege of continuing to be in your life. I look forward to seeing the extraordinary ways in which the Lord will use you to further His kingdom. Thank you for choosing mates for your lives that now double my blessings as a parent.

Keith, Ashton, and Kristin—even though I am not your biological parent, I treasure the relationships we have. Each of you is unique and brings richness into my life that I could not have imagined so long ago. It is like the Lord is multiplying my blessings right before my eyes. I pray for the opportunity to be mom-like to you all.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Chaplain Joe Collins of the Good News Jail and Prison Ministry. Thank you for hearing and obeying the Lord and asking me to join your volunteer team at the county jail. In regard to this project, you trusted me and allowed me to teach it to the ladies at the jail. In so doing, I was able to focus and pursue the completion of this project in written form. This struggle has strengthened my faith and relationship with the Lord. I will never be able to communicate to you just how grateful I am.

I want to thank Lynwood and Delores Browning for allowing me to stay in their guest cottage. The peaceful solitude your home afforded me was just what I needed to bring the project to fruition. Thank you for your generous hospitality.

An Introduction

The

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Journey

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

—Psalm 23:3

This journey began in 1991 while my family and I were camping in a state park just outside of Birmingham, Alabama. Bob had taken the children hiking while I stayed back at the campsite. As I lay in the tent, I felt the Lord speaking to me, compelling me to listen to Him and learn from Him. He said, I am the perfect Father; learn from Me. Let Me teach you what I am like, and then model your parenting after Me. It was a precious time with the Lord. I became excited and began writing down what I was learning. Through the weeks and months that followed, the Scriptures became alive, and it was a great learning experience. At other times, the cares of the world crept in, and I became discouraged. Yet the Lord continued to pursue me to trust Him and learn from Him. Throughout the years, the Lord would faithfully remind me of my commitment and renew my enthusiasm. There were times of great joy and celebration. Still other times were marked with strife and conflict. The job of parenting has been the most difficult job Bob and I have done together. This roller coaster experience has characterized my journey.

This has been a journey of faith that has tested my belief in God’s provision and power. I have learned to trust God more and not look at my weaknesses. I have resolved to be like Paul and glory in my weaknesses. I choose to believe God and be faithful. Second Corinthians 12:9 says, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. I have learned that if the Lord has called me to it, He will give me the strength to see me through it. In the end, what I have learned most is that God is faithful.

My greatest desire in writing what I have learned is to help the average person to take a fresh look at what it really means to parent. I hope the biblical principles laid out here will permeate the everyday life of families and have a positive impact. I pray that mothers and fathers will be drawn into a deeper commitment to one another, creating a team and a shared vision to raise children for the glory of God. As a vision of raising children according to biblical principles is established in the home, children will be drawn to their parents, and their relationships will be strengthened. Through it all, God will be glorified and His name proclaimed.

A Godly Way of Parenting

The process of knowing God transforms lives into His likeness. As Christians become more and more like Him through this transformational process, lives begin to change. Everything changes—even the way we parent. The way we parent should be a reflection of what it is like in heaven. Christian parenting should look so different from the way the world does things that people see our lives and want to know the God we know.

Matthew 5:16 says, Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. When we create a bit of heaven on earth in our homes, people will see a reflection of the way it is in heaven and be drawn to God. The blessings are threefold. We, the parents, will live blessed lives. Our children will be blessed, and others will come to know the Lord through the process.

Through this book, I urge parents to give their lives to Christ—to let His lordship reign. Submit to Christ’s leadership, and let your children see a real and vibrant relationship with the Lord Jesus. In so doing, your children will be drawn into a relationship with God as well. Ultimately, God will be given the glory and honor He so rightly deserves through your family.

A Dream of Continued Influence

Finally, I hope parents will dream of a chance to continue to influence and teach their children well into adulthood and throughout life. The truth is that the majority of young people have pulled away from their parents by early adolescence. Although physically present in the home, young teens often transfer trust and reliance to their peers. Quality time, meaningful conversation, and significant input of parents have all but ceased. These are replaced by emotional barriers of anger and resentment. Teens find it difficult to communicate with parents out of fear of either misunderstanding or punishment. Ultimately, the lack of direction from parents leaves a young person to traverse life without the proper tools and direction so desperately needed.

As a young teen in the seventies, I found myself struggling for direction. My closest relationships were with my friends. Without a close relationship with my parents and the wisdom to choose wisely, I began making foolish choices. I drank heavily with my boyfriend and at bars. I would stumble into the house reeking of either alcohol or marijuana and secretly wished someone would notice. I knew I was in trouble. I would often cry myself to sleep, feeling very much alone.

A critical mistake many parents make is not staying connected with their children to ensure a proper and healthy transition from childhood to adulthood. Parents who remain connected not only see children develop into wonderful, God-fearing adults, but are also afforded the amazing privilege of giving advice and direction throughout life.

My desire is to equip parents with a scriptural blueprint that will help guide children not only through the difficult years of childhood and adolescence, but throughout all of life. When Christians dedicate children to the Lord in infancy, it is a commitment to the Lord. The parent promises to raise children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. What exactly does that mean? What does that kind of parenting look like?

The upcoming pages will explore the scriptural principles that guide parents to establish a philosophy of parenting and family which will model itself after the perfect parent—God the Father. In so doing, parents exemplify the character of God. When children are old enough to understand their need for God, trust will naturally transfer to the Lord, because they have experienced it through the parent’s example. There is no greater joy for parents then to see their children make the transfer of trust and obedience to God the Father.

Take this journey with me. Allow the Lord to transform your mind and your philosophy. Take on the mind of Christ. It will revolutionize your family. Dear friend, the rewards are rich and the benefits immeasurable.

Chapter 1

Laying

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the Foundation

For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

—1 Corinthians 3:11

Most married couples look forward to and even plan for the day when they become parents. It is a joyous occasion when a woman discovers she is pregnant and announces to her husband the reality that they are expecting. It is a time to celebrate with families and friends. Some couples live near relatives and can get advice and help in preparing to birth and parent a child. Most couples today, however, do not enjoy the luxury of living near their parents. Job pursuits take families away, removing the influence of extended—families from everyday life. Many other young couples are detached or may even be estranged from their families. Being disconnected by distance or relationship creates a dilemma for these new parents. How will they learn all that is necessary to be good parents? Who will teach them?

The time comes to give birth, and the couple is faced with the overwhelming task and responsibility of providing for this helpless human being. It can be intimidating at best. A baby doesn’t come home with a manual or instruction book. Parenting can be very difficult and often frustrating. Yet guiding the physical, intellectual, social, and spiritual growth of a person from infancy through adolescence can be a very rewarding process. The choices we make can help or hinder who they become. The time and effort parents invest in each child can provide a lifetime of blessing or grief. Couples can either stumble through parenting by themselves—learning as they go, or seek advice from others. There are many self-help books with many a diversity of opinions. To whom should parents listen and trust? Will it be sound advice?

In this writing project, I am not presenting myself as an expert. I have been led by the Lord, however, to study and research the Word of God to formulate a biblical model for parenting. We will discover together that God the Father is our