Midnight Confessions: The World as Seen Through the Eyes of an Autistic Poet with Ms

By Joy Olree

In Midnight Confessions, poet Joy Olree, a self-described autistic poet with MS, presents a collection of user-friendly verse reflecting on her experiences with the world and her readings and studies of the Bible. She offers her opinions on a wide range of topics and invites disagreement and discussion.

Midnight Confessions

In the twinkling of an eye they came, the memory snatchers.

First it was the short-term memories, then the medium ones.

As time went by, more memories seem to leave, but she never

forgot her God and she never did not pray. I put my hand on

her bed as she breathed her last breath. I prayed, Thank you,

Lord, for making it possible for me to be there.

As I sit here in the lighted room, the dark outside, I miss my

stepmom. Tomorrow is Christmas, a time of celebration, and I

think to myself, Do I have anything to celebrate? Most of my

family has died. I still have the children and the grandchildren.

I guess I am blessed, and is that not the way of life? Us older

folks die, and the young take our place, unless there is some

unforeseen unexpected tragedy.

But I have much to be thankful for this Christmas. See, because

of my decision to take care of my stepmom at the nursing home,

I now have a new set of friends. A nursing home full of friends.

Thank you, stepmom and God, for making this possible.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year, humanity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Abbott Press
• Release date: Oct 3, 2017
• ISBN: 9781458221285

Joy Olree

Joy Olree is a Christian who writes poems and paints with acrylics on canvas using toothpicks. She has Asperger’s syndrome and MS and writes poetry based on the world as seen through her eyes. She currently lives in McKenzie, Tennessee.

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Copyright © 2017 Joy Olree.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Abbott Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4582-2130-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4582-2129-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4582-2128-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017913120

Abbott Press rev. date: 09/25/2017

Contents

1, 2, 3 Life Is

3 Thoughts From My Heart

Human versus Godly

50 Shades Of Life

A Dogs Life

A Love Beyond

All Alone

And He Came

Chartered Flights Of Fantasy

Consider This

Despair

Don’t Blame It On Me

Empty Words

Echoes

Fancy This And Fancy That

Free

Hello

Here I sit

Hope in You

How Long

Humans wants versus Bible Truths

I Am That I Am

I Am

I Need God

An Unborn Angel

Slow Down

I Wait

Gravity And Ice

If Only

If This Isn’t Love

In God’ Hands

Is No Love Sacred

It’s Been A Long Time

Life Is Killing Me

My Redemption

Listen

Life Rolls On A Dime

Never land

Mamma

Memories

Midnight Fires

Midnight In The Garden

Midnight Is Come

Mom

My Heart Sings

My Sleeping Beauty

My Journey with MS

My Masterpiece

One Day When The Glory Comes

No Child Will Starve Because Of Me

Nothing Like Me

Now Is Not Forever

Only One

Overload To The Max

People Like Us

Remember Me

Overload

Pale Calm

Paradise

Poisonous Reasoning

Rain On Me

Rhythm Of The High Road

So Much For Care And Compassion

Seasons of Change

Sex And Serial Killers

Soft and Sweet

Style Mine Or Yours

The Announcer Said

The American

The destroyer

The Edge Of Sorrow

The Embrace Of Sin

The End

An Impossible Quest

The Ghetto

The Land Across

The Long Way

To Be Human

The One God

The Real Judge

The Strangers

The Roof Of The World

To Be Among

To Be Or Not to Be

To Write Salvation

UPS

Waiting For Death

We Are Our Own worst Enemy

Where Are You Now That I Need You

Where Is The Rest

Who I Am Seriously

Who What When Where

You Get What You Give

You’re the One

One Is All it Takes

Who I Am

A backup Life

To Be A Gypsy

A November Sky

As you lay dying

All The Way

At Odds With Me

Audrey

Baseline Folly

Broken Bells

By Grace And Understanding

Can’t They See

Could God Ever Do Something Bad to You

Creative Musings

Beyond The Light

Ever

Fear

Forbid Me Not Lord

Forward Arises

Friend

God, Is And Does What He Decrees

Happy Tears

Hearts Of Fear

Help Needed

Hold On Lord

Here I Sit 1

I am A Number

I’m Going to

If I could Turn Back Time

If I Die Before

If You Need

In A Drunken Haze

Insanity

It’s All Relative

Just a Moments Weakness

Just Can’t get Enough

Life Happens

Loose Caution

Lost Love

My Fairytale no 1, Another short story?

Never Say Never

Night

Nut Butter

Odd Joy

One Day

Out Of The silence

Politicians

Pressurized

Pretend care

Protect To Serve

Questions

Ring Them Bells

Scared, It’s Halloween

Scars of Healing

Sin And Sex

Stay Strong

Stay With Me

Steps

Temperature Of Light

Thanksgiving Is

The 30,000 to look like a Whore

The Artist

The Creature Me

The Edge Of Darkness

The Esteemed Mister Satan, That’s Devil To You

The Games That You Play

The Life Lived

The Light, 1

The Light

The Long Dusty Road

The Lost

The Number

The One True Perfect Love

The Sands Of Time

The Thousand Miles

To Gain Heaven

The Unpredictable Life, Mine, Yours, Everybody’s

Truth

The Work Of My Hands

The Yoke I carry

To Make A Deal

The Unknown Number

Wasted Life, Wasted Salvation

What Happens To Children

What I want

When Millie Smiles

Where Were You

Who Am I

With Life here Is Hope

Without You I Am Doomed

Words To Live By

Words

You Can’t fix Stupid

Your Mile

Say Something

A Dream Deferred

A Life’s Purpose

A Sinners Lament

And We Wait

Blinded sided By Truth

Brain Fog

Be Fruitful And Multiply

Caught Up In Life

Chosen Ways

Created Beauty

The Danger Of Disgust

Destiny

Empty Realities

Fifty shades Of Why

Frozen In Time

Given To Share

Future Generations

Healthy-Unhealthy, die Anyway

Human Existence

I am Not Martha Stewart

I Am 1

Identity Thieves, the New You

It’s What I Do

Kids and Cartoons

Life Can Not Be walked Away From

Life With Cats

Life’s Complications

Midnight Confessions

Move Away Jimmy Blue-Kiss This Thing Goodbye

MS Is Not Me

Musically Inclined

My Plight

One More Day

One Prayer Away

Political Soup

Promise Me

Rain And Funerals

Reason For My Life

Santa’s’ reindeer

Sticks And Stones, Words Can

Stronger

Supply And Demand

Sweet Talker

Texting And Driving

The Edge Of Tomorrow

The Game OF life

The Hanging Tree Is Not For Me

The Job

The Life Of Uncensored Fun

The Song Master

The Wall Walker

The Way Of Shadows

The Word For World

To Put God First

We Don’t Need Another Hero

What A Mess

Whinny Humans

Lost futures, Is It Over

Why Does Life Have To Be This Way?

A Broken Lie

A Good Life

A Life To Mold

A Season Of Color

Am I Broken?

Animals We Are, Animals We Die

Beauty in The Madness

Bills, Bill

Colors Of The World

Fairytales

Financial Mistakes

Foolish Creeds

Future Regrets

Hello it’s Me, God

Indians And Cowboys

It’s A Man’s World

Moments

My Life, Gods Soul

On Being Satisfied

Problems Are Me

Retirement

Rudeness

Scientist Say

Sins Mark

Social Interactions

The Beauty Of Light

The Call

The Chains Of A Ritual Christmas

The Completeness of a Complicated Life

The Created Mistake

The Ebb And Flow Of Life

The Know It All

The Man Who Lives In The House

The Nurse

The Night Of Sin

The Understanding Of A Sacrifice

The Tabloid

The Wide Road Of Destruction

The Winter Sky

Things Unseen

To cheat

To Win Or Lose, The Game Of Salvation

Trapped In Cold

What Are You Waiting For

What Do I Know?

Words Of Balance

Words Of Our Life

A Fairytale Gone Wrong

Disclosure

Emptiness OF A Sinful Life

From A Friend

It’s Who You are

Lassitude-Lazy

I Knows, He Knows, God Knows

Salvation’s Blood

Look What We’ve Started

Sick Of Sin

Sleeping Life

The Angel

The Dark Of My Despair

The Death Of A Life

The End

The Legend Of A Fall

Truth

What Were They Thinking?

About the Author

I dedicate this third book to God and his son Jesus Christ because if not for them I could not have written a word. I also dedicate this book to my 3 children and my late husband. They help me as much as they can. A special thanks to my daughter- in- law who takes out my garbage when my son, her husband forgets or else he just wants to put his responsibility on her.

I am an autistic poet with MS, but neither of these define who I am. I write, paint, whatever my MS allows me to do and that’s not much. Without God I could do nothing so I am grateful for his help. I say I paint but actually I use to paint with tooth picks. The paintings on this book are mine done with toothpicks. My MS has virtually stopped my painting for the present maybe forever. See I have tremors in my hands which makes them shake. It is a symptom of my MS. My neurologist prescribed me a medicine which might help calm them down but the medicine can cause suicidal thoughts which I have had and I don’t ever want again. I did therapy for about a year for my suicidal thoughts and they have been gone for 20 years so I will not take any medicine that might cause me to have these kind of thoughts again. My neurologist said it was a rare possibility that the medicine would cause these kind of thoughts but rare tends to be me. If anything says it hardly ever happens well guess what it happens to me. My life, no joke. Oh and I have PBA. Which means I sometimes laugh or cry uncontrollably at inappropriate times. Like laughing at a funeral or crying at a happy event. My neurologist says this is another symptom of my MS because MS causes brain damage and PBA is the result of any brain damage. He also said there is a medicine for this but it is very expensive and the internet says it can cause suicidal thoughts. What, is everything that might help me also might, cause me to want to kill myself. Thanks but no thanks. I told my neurologist if I laugh or cry uncontrollably at inappropriate times people will just have to tolerate it. I have tolerated it for 62 years and if it bothers others they can move on. I am what I am. Anyway God is here and will never leave me. I don’t get everything