Anatomist Poet

By Ayad Gharbawi

This book is a random, sample collection of Ayad Gharbawi's poems, written over three decades and over three continents."

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Nov 16, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477242766

Ayad Gharbawi

Ayad Gharbawi graduated from Boston University in 1989 with an MA degree; he has had several books published in a variety of subjects. One of his best selling work is 'Conversations With Hitler And Stalin'. He lives in Surrey, England.

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© 2012 Ayad Gharbawi. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/14/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-4276-6 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-4277-3 (sc)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

A Portrait Of Life – Suicide of a Priest

A Love That Not Even Jesus Could Live With

A Madman’s Gesture

A Sailor’s Letter

A Vile ‘Human’

A Wife’s Pleas

A Word to My Tormentor

Abused Children

Accepting Yourself

Advice of a Sorrowful Woman

Advice of an Introvert

An Analysis of ‘Politics’

An Ancient Epitaph

An Awakening

Anatomy of What Life Is

Are You Going To Be Real With Yourself?

Baby Boy – If Only You Could See Me

Baby Boy

Baby Izzet

Battered Child’s Testimony

Begging Soul

Birth of Sorrow

Bitterness

Can I Breathe?

Blinded Eye

Certified Failure

Chains Mental

Chants of Ancient Wisdom

Christian Disciple

Circle of Evil

Circus of Life

Coming of Death

Confessions of a Professional Idiot – [Myself]

Confused Woman

Confused Madman Begging

Contradictions in Life

Conversations Betweeb a Sane Man and an Insane Woman

Croation Waitress

Cynical Bible

Cynicist Finally Speaks

Death is Freedom

Death of a Candle

Death of a Confident Man

Death of a Friend

Death of a Loser

Death Shall End Us All

Decadence Preverse

Depression

Destroyed Tombstone

Destructive Confusion

Devil’s Dream!

Die Within Your Life, and Therefrom Live

Discussin Your ‘Self’ With Your Self

Distant Wisdom

Do Not Despair

Do You Or Do You Not Understand?

Don’t Deny Me

Don’t Worry If You Should See Me

Dysfunctional Mind

Dysfunctioning Life

Emergency Case

Emotions of a Burdened Woman

Empty Human

End of Another Pointless Night

Enough, Please.

Essences I Feel

Evening’s Fragrance

Falling Into My Death

Fatal Flaws

Fatal Mistake

Feelings Of A Happy Woman

Feelings On Our Mortality

First World Lady Versus Third World Human

Sons of Adam

Baby Izzet

Cold Cave

For What It May Mean, May Not Be Clear To You

Forget Humanity

Frustrations

Fugitive From Injustice

Gala Awards for Pedophiles

Give Up Giving

God – Please Give Me Peace?

Hallowed Night

Handwritten Words of a Misguided Woman

Harvard Sqaure Days

Hatred

Hermit’s Words

Hope

Hopeful Soul

Hopeless Life

How Can I Understand That Which Is Undefined

Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone

How Come No One Noticed the Killers of Jesus?

How Many Times Do You Feel Empty?

How Will You Judge Yourself in Your Final Days?

Howls of an Insane Woman

Human Clashes

Humanity’s Proud Achievements

Humanity’s Vomit has Been Discussed Before

Humans are Hurtful Crumbs

Humans Hopeful, Though Wrecked

Hypocrite: Don’t You Feel Yet?

I am a Failure

I am a Sickening Life

I am People, Destructive and Inspiring

I Know I’m Killing Myself

I Need You Now St. Mary Magdalene

I Tried to Explain to Her

If an Empty Bowl or Plate Appeals for Itself

Incest Victim –

Ignorant Innocence

Is This Love and Life?

Is This Our Life?

It’s Not for You

It’s Over

I’ve Tattooed Your Soul on My Blood

Judas’ Last Passion Letter to Jesus

Killer Clown That Fooled You

Killing an Innocent Bird

Lady of the Secluded Ponds

Last Letter of a Convicted Man

Letter Found on Dead Woman

Life is a Series of Lies Till You Die

Letter From a Madman

Life of the Impossible

Life’s Concrete Knowledge

Lily Say Goodnight

Listen to Me: Stubborn Recluse

Listen to Me – I’m the Madman

Lives of Distressing Anarchy

Living in a Wilderness

Lonely Telephone

Longing to Break Free

Madness of Life Itself

Madness of Mind

Man at Odds With Himself

Memories of a Childhood

Mental Patient Writing

Moments of Life

Moon-Like Landscapes Before You

Murderer’s Repentance

My Baby Boy, Pidi

My Beloved Son

My Death

My Endless False Truths

My Exit That I Couldn’t Find

My Favourite Firing Squad

My Psychotic Fires

My Recurring Nightmare

Navigating the Waves of Our Life

No Escape From PANIC

No One Can Love You as I do, Dear Son

Ocean and Soul

Old Man Thinking

Our Odyssey

On Death Row

Panic Attacks are Fun

Panic Feeling

Panic

Passion Play

Passion

Passionate Evening

Pathetic Admission of a Failure

Peace Shall Come

Philosopher of Modern Art

Photograph That Caught It All

Portrait of a Life of a Selfish Theologian

Pressures On an Unsure Mind

The Pretender

Prostitute’s Dream

Pyramid Rock

Rain Hungers for the Thirsty Sand

Raped Woman’s Letter

Red-Green Room

Regrests of a Failure

Regrets

Rejoice

Sad of the Earth

Sad Woman

Savage is Life

Saying Goodnight

Self Oppression Against Yourself

Sermon of a Dying Man

Sermon of a Troubled Woman

Severe Despair of the Innocent Girl

Simple Declaration

Sin of Begging

Sins Beneath Vincent’s Starry Night

Smile of Reason

So Near, Yet So Far

Sons of Adam

Speak Out, if You Dare

Speaking Statue

Speech Of A Woman

Stalin’s Private Thoughts

Strange Thoughts

Streets of a Civilized City

Streets of Boston During University Days

Stubborn Recluse

Stupid of This Earth

Stupidities of Life – As We Practice It

Such is Earth

Sudden Slow Evening

Sudden Suicide

Suicidal Jack

Suicidal Lover

Suicide is Painless (1)

Suicide is Painless (2)

Suicide of a Woman

Suicide of a Young Woman

Suicide of an Intelligent Girl

Suicide

Suicide Statistics

Suicide’s Thought

Suspicious Soul

Sweating Statues

Sweet Remote Friendless Friend

Talking to a Suicidal Woman

The Advice of a Sage Woman

The Anonymous Letter Signed ‘Sarah’

The Atheist Priest

The Barren Skulls

The Conversation

The Dead Relationship

The Deer, the Dove, the Wolf and the Haunted Children

The Empty Human

The End

The Final Poem Man Will Write

The Great Pretender

The Helping Hand

The Inhuman Journey

The Moment of a Midnight

The Paranoid Logician

The Will

This Day is to be Repeated Tomorrow

This Worldly Life

Those Who Were Crowned, Yet They Never Knew

Thoughts of an Outcast

Threat of Having a Panic Attack

To Quantify Hurt

Too Late

Tortures of Every Twist Imaginable

Troubled Child

Truth? What ‘Truth’ Do You Speak Of?

Truths and Their Consequences

Truths Shall Not Render You to Weep

Trying to Make a Woman Understand Herself

Trying to Speak

Trying to Understand Answers

Twisted Dog

Twists of Your Ugliness

Tyrant

Unbalanced Woman Scribbling Her Thoughts

Unity

Unknown Saviour

Unknown Soldier

Vile ‘Human’

Victims Seeking Hope

Visions Beheld by Youth, Once

Wanderer

Wasted Lives

Wave a Last Farewell

We Are All Fare Too Insignificant

We Are All Prisoners in This Life

Welcome Me in Your Lives

Welcome to the Carnival of Humanity!

Welcome to the World

What a Pointless Life

What Did You Come Here For?

What Did You Feel Dad?

What Difference Does It Make?

What Exactly Does Matter?

What Exactly is Life?

What is Love to You?

What is the Value of Life?

What’s Panic?

When Elegance Weeps

When Panic Attacks You in the Midst of Night

When Will Peace of Mind Come?

When Your Inner Mind Talks to You and You Don’t Listen

Where Are You This June’s Final Night, Baby Boy?

Where Do You Think You Are Going?

Where Will You End Up?

Who Will Inform Me?

Who Will Save ‘Humanity’ From Itself?

Who Will Stand Meaningfully For Me?

Who’s Afraid of the Madwoman?

Who’s Lying to Whom?

Why Care About a Mirage?

Why Humans Are Repulsive

Why We Hate

Will Boredom Cease?

Will Peace Ever Be?

Will You Now Understand Me?

Wisdom’s Spirit is Trying to Speak to You

Woman Butchered

Woman Prophet

Woman Speaking the Truth

Womanhood List

Words of a Prostitute Imprisoned for Being Insane

Words of Advice From the Devil

Words of the Raped Woman

Words on Man’s Folly

Yet You Must Go On

Young Lady’s Verses

Your Truths That Hated Each Other

You’re Just Dividing Out the Empty Pieces

Death of Man

Feelings on Panic Attacks

Repeated Lives

A Portrait Of Life – Suicide of a Priest

Killers killing

Lovers loving

All are One

Praying to randomly chosen godless minds

That priest sacrificed himself, did you not hear?

Yes, call it suicide, if you want

In your brilliant mind

Did it matter really?

He was screaming silently

In his numbest depths

No one was remotely interested

The sounds of mental mutilations

Were too explicit to be reasonably viewed

And you know

He was never equipped for all this

That God

Dished out to him, dear Soul

For it was surely such a plate too full for

Such a gentle roving mind as his.

He tried to stand

And escape out

From these

Heated drenching waters

Idiotic smiles seducing his mania

That succeeded in expanding with such ferocious

Malignancy in his brain

Causing him to die in the manner that he did

Eyeless smiles; were they sincere or threatening?

He expected so much from this merry earth

But was instead seeing more and more

A crass dull future

Tell me then, Sir

Of your lurid poetry

What were you trying to say to us?

And do you think it did matter

Or, it didn’t matter?

What you ever said

Or what you ever did do

Self murdering priest

Did you destroy any of your listeners

Out for a measure of ‘fun’

Exactly as ruling Liars discussing and dictating their ‘truths’

On everyone else

Was that your theological world?

Was that the sum value and relevance of your priestly life?

62931.jpg

A Love That Not Even Jesus Could Live With

Sweetness

My love for you

Was bitter in its essence

It was

All in all

Far too much

For you in its

Absurd Intensities

I guess

I know now

Even sincerest love may wash away

Seeking a breath and an escape from my persisting worries

What you felt for me

Was what?

Was it

A ‘Love’ that

Not even

His Holiness, Jesus could live with?

And so,

So many,

Out there

Will prefer crucifixions

That are endless

To a quiet and deeply adoring patience

That I had for you.

62926.jpg

A Madman’s Gesture

In my bedrooms of a time I called yesterday

The evenings were excessively red I felt

The sunsets meant something final to me

A hand of adoration gestured meaningfully

One sentence expressed its intent to kill me

Where else did I paint these scenes of my life?

They were all my own experiences

I witnessed your conversations

The attempts

In instances hopeful to convince me of my bemused folly

I, in my turn, did try once or twice

To create

The hope of love

To fulfil you Strangers out there sitting

Glancing nowhere, yet you preach to me

Walking pointlessly, yet you admonish me

And you are all ultimately colliding against each other

Where do I exist?

I exist in my mind, safe and secure

I can be, I can express every emotion

You ask me repeatedly, Do you or do you not Love?

Yet, in loneliness’ laws

Who exactly is there

To love?

62932.jpg

A Sailor’s Letter

Monument’s finale, as it ruts away

Requiem disguised, for an End has arrived

An act to move through, we must do so

So at last, the

Words crossing the land of shameless criminals

Have come to see Justice being applied

See the laughter of virgin tears being vindicated

Don’t you turn away again now, after all that you have done

Can’t you see these uncivil sinister trivialities you oppressed us with?

You said unto us, I’m so alive, I can feel every moment in this life!

But do not lie to me

No north, no south can now change these disturbed winds

Wither do they vanish, or wither do they rest?

None is relevant

Between us now

This moment defines

Your Existence’s expanses have come to their end

What grips your indefinable, unruly senses

Are copies of the same

Immaterial emotional fakery that so did chain us

Your mind, within and your pretending mind outside will be cast unto these waves

And all can see are your acts so feigning, so pretentious

Your bride of cruel visions will now experience the meals you forced us to eat

I see you are still Lying, trying to ignore your disrupted mind

Your infrastructure that was so burdensome to all of us peasant sailors

Is bearing its collapsing crashing weight on you

Between us now

Yearn for this now to end

For the now

Is the definition true

Of existence

The existing now moment

Is what your Self is

Confront your scavenging rootless eyes

Your Loneliness will have its nourishing roots fed

Your thousand detrimental deceptive rainbows that gave us ‘Hope’

Will now Mock your remaining sanity

So illusory

Upon their borrowed masks

We will now be effectively employed to

Entertain and torture you

So

Don’t take it all so seriously

Words you mentioned did once kill, didn’t you understand?

Ah! The symphonic movements of sincerity’s passions between us

In the stillest hours of solitude sigh

Have now come to maturity

And yet, within contexts of raging panting thoughts

Inside caged ears

Surely you knew the victory would be Ours, indeed?

So forget your desires, your needs essential now

Remember all others who you tortured

The fiery dead and the numb living who once

Had such interesting arguments on decency and morality

But are they not all soon to be one with you?

Yes, your decayed compass

Turns inside out

Betraying you

You lost your direction, and plunged yourself inside the fiercest storm

That churned your entire memories, the good and the bad, into a mosaic of madness

You either hear or you do not hear

And now you talk about ‘Love’ and ‘God’!

Laugh, friendless bastard, laugh seriously

Now you shall feel the serious reality of your own plays

Sweet human, how much longer did you think you could spin?

Why?

Couldn’t you do better?

Couldn’t you have been more compassionate?

Couldn’t you have been more understanding?

No?

So, be cast away Humanity!

Lie in your fragrant bowels of crimes

Lie to your sickening madness that loves butchering fanatically

Lie!

To your spastic shudders of evil emotions that reverberate within you

Giving you the spasmodic pleasures of intense pain

Ignore the polite, stern winds emerging, demanding truth, justice and peace!

For until

You will Bow your soul, Man,

Until you will bow your sanity to God above you;

Respond respectfully, understandably

And try to think truthfully

No peace of mind will ever Grace you.

62929.jpg

A Vile ‘Human’

An evening

Supper’s Traitor sitting gleeful

Begins the eerie epochal moment

To willfully extinguish

A life’s fragile candle.

The incomprehensible scenes I see

In my silent eyes

Seemingly never ending

Wild expanses

Visions of Hurt, Sorrow and Loneliness.

Seeking any role to play

We turned for comfort

To the guided Fool

Look at the utter beauty of the liars

Around you

Spelling mistakes

That changed your brief life.

Do not lie about your mistakes

Listen to your deathly end

Coming so soon

Silence and Symphony

For all your moments

To ponder about.

And you are still acting, despised ‘human’

Acting beyond reason and its compassion

My God!

I shall soon meet you!

Ancient victim,

Still writing

Your scripts for idiotic lovers

I will tell you

Do not stand for the Remorse of Judas.

Forsaken children,

Abandoned by the vilest creatures Man has known

Tears of a Farewell

Are screaming

An endless Farewell

Ending this human life

And finally so.

62935.jpg

A Wife’s Pleas

Come to please

This life

That so suffers

Her insides

Out:

In my life

That you love

I can only see

What truths

Can be so

Killing me.

62937.jpg

A Word to My Tormentor

Let me go home

Please

In this night here

Stretched out

For all the lies

I’ve had to endure

My life has been

A Life of Deprivation

Whilst your life has been

A Life of Depravity

And you force me

To sit here and endure

You

My ears are stolen

My heart is ripped

While your unending words

Are punctuated

By stabbing knives

And by your repulsive

Broken Tongue.

62939.jpg

Abused Children

You laugh

In your mind

Because they scream

Inside their intricate walls;

Sorrowful children

Who see pain

As their pillow -

I tell you

What an imagination can create

These unstructured and untamed monsters?

Children of orphans,

Crying silently for a penny

Who do you think will be your friend

In these bitter moments?

62941.jpg

Accepting Yourself

When the evening

Cries out for its disunited heart

To be reasonable

Facing a blurred Truth

Wherein no emotional unity can ever exist

Yes, life is a Trial

From which concrete evidence is unacceptable

For all of you

The needy struggling ones and the unsupported anxious ones;

The dying ones and the flippant laughing ones

No one you love or hate

Wants ever to get to know you

Since you know nothing of yourself

And so, what exactly is there to learn?

And remember that in your own moments of brief ecstatic dawns

And euphoric twilights

Will all come to be forgotten by you

For all the voices and the words you loved to hear

They that whisper to you

Shall forever

Remain enclosed and buried.

You look so surprised!

Didn’t you know, dear friendless friend?

62943.jpg

Advice of a Sorrowful Woman

Sweet one

I know of you

Where an illness suddenly fatal called ‘Love’

Can be within all of us

You know

Aggrieved Hearts can and certainly will wither innocent tongues

For the Liars and the Compassionate ones

United; on and off

I am, I feel, I know

That is Who I am!

I guess

In your room, you lie

And who will be