Because I Love You

1

The Making of My Favorite Dream…

Azayna…18 years young…

Pitch black darkness surrounded me as I walked down the debris-covered street with my arms folded snugly across my chest. It was well past midnight and still blazing hot as if it was three o’clock in the afternoon. It had been a long day and an even longer night. Versus doing what I’d been doing for the past two weeks and staying at my grandmother’s house, I chose to ditch her and hit the streets.

Absolutely nothing came from me sitting there with her day in and day out. I was so bored and overwhelmed with disappointment. I needed a change in my life, and sitting at home waiting on her disability check every month was lame and played all the way out. I’d been doing all that I could to find a day job with no success. I had literally checked every storefront and still came out with nothing. I was past frustrated and walking the streets of my city was helping to ease my mind.

Aye, girl, where you going?

I cut my eyes at the group of corner boys who were huddled together shooting dice. The one who yelled at me had a mouth full of silver and a head full of dirty looking dreads. This nigga tried it. I wouldn’t dare give his unkempt ass the time of day.

None of your business. I sassed and kept my pace.

It was already late and dark; the last thing I wanted was some random nigga following me and trying to spit his weak ass game.

Fuck you too then, hoe. I ain’t want your raggedy looking ass anyway. He and his busted friends all laughed behind my back as I switched across the street. I didn’t know if they were laughing at how I’d dissed him, or at his poor attempt at going off on me. They were all dumb, with him being the dumbest. Simple little bastard. He just didn’t know; that type of stuff didn’t bother me at all. He could say that and a bunch of other stuff, and it wouldn’t faze me in the least.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut your ass up, I spat over my shoulder and sped up my pace.

I could hear him saying some other stuff that I wasn’t about to acknowledge. Instead, I held my head back and closed my eyes as I walked. Inhaling and exhaling all the bullshit. I was so relaxed from the fresh air and my walk that I didn’t even pay attention to the fact that I was walking down the middle of a dark street in Miami with my eyes closed. That most definitely was not the smartest thing to do.

Damn, girl, watch where you going, a deep voice argued at me.

My eyes popped open at the same time I raised my head so I could see the man I’d just bumped into. He was tall, well dressed, intoxicating, fine, and a bunch of other stuff that would make a woman neglect all of her morals, standards, and anything else that made her respect herself.

Don’t yell at me. I didn’t see you.

He had me fucked up if he thought I was about to just sit back and take his disrespect. Man or not, I didn’t play that, especially from a nigga I didn’t know.

He didn’t say anything right away. His eyes squinted a little more as he looked me up and down with a scowl on his face. The fuck you walking around with your eyes closed for anyway? That’s not safe.

I licked my lips before looking past his head at the two women who were standing behind him. One looked as much like a man as he did, while the other was scantily dressed with wandering eyes. She’d been practically eye sexing me the entire time I’d been standing there, but since I wasn’t into that gay mess, I politely ignored her looking ass.

I know you heard me speak to you, the man told me.

I wanted to mouth off at him so badly, but his demeanor seemed too relaxed for that. His words were harsh, but his aura was calming. It was a weird feeling that he gave off. Like, I wanted to cuss him out but apologize at the same time. He made me mad but self-conscious in the same instant. The way he eyed me made me feel kind of cute, while the tone of his voice made me want to punch him in the mouth.

I was clearing my mind.

He raised a brow. Oh, really? What’s on it?

What do you care? I crossed my arms over my chest before looking from him to his weird entourage.

A small chuckle escaped before he ran his iced-out hand over his mouth. The large rings decorating his fingers lit up the night sky while the thick diamond bracelet followed closely behind.

I care a lot. Where you headed?

Why?

Because I’ma take you. I don’t think you being out here clearing your mind is the right thing to do at this hour.

Take me? I didn’t know this nigga. He wasn’t about to take me anywhere, and I meant that. Versus saying anything else to him, I began to walk past him and continue down the sidewalk. Before I could get two steps past him, he had grabbed my wrist and pulled me back so that I was standing in front of him.

Excuse me if I made my last statement sound optional. He nodded toward the truck behind him. Go get in my truck. I’m about to take you wherever you need to go.

Excuse me if I made my rejection seem optional. I’m not going anywhere with you.

More calm laughter came from him as he stood in front of me looking me up and down. I had no clue why he kept laughing or why he was still holding onto my arm as if I was really about to do anything he’d told me to do.

Damn, Master, she’s hardheaded, the girly girl said with a smile on her face.

Aye, shut up, he told her before looking back at me.

Master? I’d heard that name before, actually too many times not to know who he was. Master was infamous in the city. Heavy handed in the drug game with a reputation that proceeded him. He was the person to see if you were trying to get paid. And just like that, my night was made. The countless stories I’d heard about him made me feel crazy for getting so slick at the mouth with him. Not only that, but it made me feel a lot more ashamed of my current appearance. I was naturally pretty, but I was sure my beat-up shoes and too small clothes made me look like the lonely hood rat that I was.

You, he pointed at me with his pinky finger, go get in my truck like I told you to.

Skeptical and unaware of what I was getting myself into but in desperate need of some cash, I walked to his truck with him following me. I could hear the bass in his voice as he spoke quietly to his friends, but that was it. He was damn near whispering, so I hadn’t heard what he’d actually said, nor did I really want to. As long as I didn’t know his plans for me, I could pretend to be innocent, even though I knew deep down inside that what I was doing and where I was going was probably anything but.

I talked myself in and out of his truck so many times before he actually joined me.

We crept down the road in complete silence, him smoking a blunt while I did my best not to choke on the smoke. I could feel his eyes on me every so often but pretended not to. I was out of my mind being in a car with Master, but I honestly wouldn’t trade it. He was that one nigga from the hood who every dude wanted to be friends with, and every girl wanted to be with. Maybe if I’d made myself look more presentable, I wouldn’t be so uncomfortable, but that’s what I got for being so fast and running out on my granny. I sighed and closed my eyes again.

You want to tell me what’s on your mind?

I shook my head.

Aight. He was quiet again. Where you was going?

Nowhere, just walking.

You coming with me then.

I looked at him after that. How was he going to just tell me what I was going to do? Says who?

Me, now sit back and just be quiet.

Since I didn’t have anything else to say anyway, I sat back and shut my mouth. I watched as we passed by everything I was familiar with before turning into the parking lot of a hotel. I didn’t know what he had in mind, but I wasn’t fucking him. He could take me to as many hotels as he needed to, but I was one hoe whose tail he wouldn’t be getting. I meant that. Too bad my weak mind and body meant something else.

Slower, Master whispered while blowing rings of smoke into my face.

Here my retarded ass was, doing exactly what I’d said I wasn’t going to do, and doing it obediently too. Master was laid back on the large hotel bed gripping my butt with one hand and the tip of his blunt with the other one. His eyes were low, and his juicy lips were beckoning mine, but I’d be a fool to try my luck at kissing him.

From what I’d been told by the streets, Master was a major sex addict and spent plenty of his cash on it, but that was only if he was feeling you. Lucky for me, that seemed to be the case. I wasn’t sure why, but it was probably because I listened. Since realizing who he was, I didn’t talk, I didn’t question him, nor was I greedy. I took what he gave me and went on about my business. I can’t lie and say that I didn’t want to get more intimate with him, because I did, but I also wanted to continue enjoying this once in a lifetime moment, so I kept my lips, thoughts, and mouth to myself unless he asked for it.

Slide up some for me, baby.

I relished the feeling of Masters’ hand on my waist and his endearing words in my ear as he leaned over to grab the stack of cash from the nightstand. Sparkling colors of the rainbow caught my eyes as the diamonds on his neck and wrist flashed in my face. This nigga was icy as hell. I’m talking about ice cold, Gucci Mane, Migos type stuff. It was crazy too because he was completely naked and notably comfortable in nothing but his chains. I loved it.

The dark waves in his head spun in complete circles while his brown sugar skin, small, slanted eyes, and his big, muscular body made me think of all the wild stuff I wanted to do to him while I had him. I could already tell that Master wasn’t the type of man who could be limited to just one woman, especially one like me. I most definitely wasn’t this nigga’s type and probably never would be. That didn’t stop me from momentarily dreaming, though.

Get up and work for this cash, he grumbled before blowing more smoke in my direction.

Full of nervousness and uncertainty but broke as all hell, I fought with the butterflies in my stomach and bowed down to his order.

What do you want me to do? Soaking wet between my legs and nude as the day I’d come into the world, I slid from his dick and onto my feet.

Can you dance?

I nodded because I could. I was from the projects; all we did was shake our asses. From my mama’s back porch to the clubs, I could twerk to whatever song was played.

Dance for me then.

After another pull from his cigar, smooth movement pushing his back against the headboard, and a quick lick of his lips, Master waited for his show while I stood in front of him fiddling with my fingers. He was so sexy and so rugged looking. His goatee and hairline were fresh, but his face still held the roughness derived from the streets. His bare chest was decorated with a few tattoos, but nothing too major.

I need music. I looked from his chest to his face.

He wore a calm expression as he nodded and grabbed his phone. He tapped around on the screen for a minute before They Like It Slow by H-Town began to play. I closed my eyes, trying to catch the beat of the music before slowly moving my body with it. This was my night.

Not only did I need this man’s money, but I wanted to make an impression on him. If I could get this nigga on my team, I’d probably never see another broke day. I eyed the stack of money in his hand and prepared myself to take it. One pop of my ass to the next, I worked my body better than anybody he’d ever seen, and I made sure of that.

Touch your pussy for me.

I almost closed my eyes when he said that, but I didn’t. Instead, I allowed them to trek from his hard dick back to his face. I stared at him seductively while massaging my body. My slippery wet folds dampened the pads of my fingers as I squatted and continued dancing and teasing us both.

Yeahhh, shit. He cursed in lust.

My body jumped at the sound of his voice. Oh, fucking shit, he’d taken the condom off and was over there rubbing his dick. Damn, that thing was big, or so I thought. My eyes bucked as I watched it swell even bigger.

Why you looking at it like that?

I casually shook my head.

Come here, he beckoned, and I went. Slow as hell, but I went.

Suck on it for me.

Oh, hell no. Was I really supposed to do this? I mean I’d already started fucking him, but was I supposed to suck his dick too? That was crossing every boundary I had, and he could obviously tell.

You want to know the art of sex? he questioned while twirling one of my nipples between his fingers.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Him playing with my nipples was making me wetter whether he knew it or not.

Yes, tell me.

Pleasing the other person. A lot of people get caught up with making themselves feel good, and they forget that part. When he pulled me to him and sucked my nipples, I wanted to scream. Don’t be like them, don’t forget it. He kissed and sucked along my collarbone. Please me.

Okay.

I moaned and lowered myself back onto the bed and took a mouth full of his sugary goodness.

A loud sucking of air sliced through the room just as his hand palmed the back of my head and pushed it deathly far on his dick. Choking was putting it mildly; I was damn near killing myself trying to suck that thing.

Relax and think of me doing the nastiest thing you can think of to you. It’ll make pleasing me a lot easier.

The moment I visualized his face between my thighs in front of a room full of people, my pussy got wet. I could literally see his face glistening with remnants of me while moaning my name. Before long, I was sucking his dick so good that when he tried to make me stop, I almost fought to stay there.

No, let me finish, I heard myself beg as he repositioned us on the bed.

Later. Right now, let me show you something. Master licked his lips before doing exactly what I’d been daydreaming about minus the room full of people.

I lost my mind, my body, and my soul at that moment of sex with him. We went at it, doing any and everything he could think of for the next hour. When he finally reached his climax, I did my best to devour the dick. I was on it, slurping everything that seeped from him while he repeatedly moaned my name. He was on his back trying to catch his breath as I washed him with a soapy cloth when he finally spoke to me again.

What’s your name?

I snickered. It’s a little late to be asking that, don’t you think?

His eyes found mine, and he smiled. Just tell me.

Azayna, but everybody calls me Zay.

That’s cute, but I’ma give you another name. He stretched his arm out to me, and I went to him. What you think about Dream?

Dream?

He nodded. Hell yeah, you deserve that. Everything about you is a dream. At first, I thought maybe you were just a pretty face, but your pussy game is off the map. I need to teach you some more shit, but you the truth, baby.

His words made me feel like I’d won first prize somewhere. Crowned the queen of good pussy. I smiled, Dream… I could definitely get with that.

Why do I need another name?

He sat up and looked at me. I want you to be my girl.

I was confused. Your girl?

Yeah, but you don’t have to tell anybody about it. Just do your thing, but if a nigga tries you, make sure you let him know you’re my girl. He’ll know what’s up after that.

I was smiling from ear to ear, just like the immature young girl that I was. Master wanted me to be his girl! That was such an honor, one I didn’t even feel worthy of, but I most definitely wasn’t running from it. Had I really known what being his girl meant, I would have at least asked more questions. Would I have refused? Hell nah! Being Master’s girl, or one of them, shall I say, saved my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for nothing.

2

Dreaming on the block…

Egypt… a 19-year-old-mama’s boy turned hustler…

H ow much longer you plan on being out here? Auto asked me while counting the wad of cash he’d just pulled from his pocket.

Not too long. Maybe another hour or so. I checked the time on my watch. I’m trying to catch that nigga Master before I dip.

Auto’s face frowned like I knew it would. He hated Master and didn’t hide it. It was crazy to me how he would stand on the block for the nigga, risk his life for the nigga, and even get dirty for the nigga but couldn’t stand the ground he walked on. Auto was funny like that. He was a weird ass nigga who lived by his own standards. We both were; I was just more of a thinker than him.

I looked at how shit would affect me in the long run, but he didn’t. That was the one thing that separated us. Everything else was the same. Because we didn’t really move like everybody else, nobody wanted to fuck with us. All we had was each other, and we were fine with that. We didn’t really like none of these niggas anyway.

The only person who was able to bring out a different side of Auto was my sister, Logan. They were all in love and shit. A very odd couple, in my opinion, but the love was there. You could see it. If close enough, you could feel the shit too. I wasn’t in anything exclusive at the moment, and I didn’t want to be. Women were too clingy and always ended up in the way of me making my money. I didn’t need that kind of negativity in my life. Fuck them hoes.

Call that nigga and tell him to hurry up then. I’m ready to get away from out here. Auto looked up and down the block that he and I stood on every weekend.

You know better than that.

Auto sucked his teeth. Shit, nigga, you need to do something. It’s boring as hell out here, and I’m ready to go home. Shit is slow as hell.

That, I agreed with. We’d been on our corner all day and had only made a little over one hundred dollars. Something had to give. I had shit to handle, and that chump change wasn’t going to help get it done.

How long he said he was gon’ be when you last talked to him?

I chuckled at how annoyed Auto sounded. Nigga, go home if you have to. I’m good.

Auto’s head immediately shook. Nope. That’s how niggas get caught slipping. As soon as I move, somebody might run up on your ass. He tapped my shoulder. It’s power in numbers.

I nodded and pulled my vibrating phone out of my pocket. Master, what’s good?

I listened to him tell me he was around the corner and would be pulling up in a few minutes before hanging up.

You can go now. He about to pull up.

Auto blew out the smoke from his blunt and kept nodding his head to the music that wasn’t playing. It was completely quiet outside, but he was bobbing his head as if there as a surround sound speaker system behind us. Typical Auto. He was always doing that weird shit. Not that I could talk; I was the exact same way. Me and that nigga spent too much time together because we did all the same shit.

There his punk ass go. Auto turned and dapped me up while taking steps back.

I watched him get in his red old school car and crank up. He didn’t move right away, which didn’t surprise me. He didn’t trust Master and fucked with me heavy, so he was gon’ chill until he was sure everything was good. To speed things along, I walked to the passenger side door of Master’s truck and pulled it open. I was shocked as hell to see a girl riding shotgun. She was a pretty li’l joint but looked dirty