Unapologetically Me

By Whitney McConaga

Stay humble. Be bold. Spread your wings. Own your destiny.

Ladies, have you ever had a passion so great, it seemed that in order for you to fulfill it, you had to lose everything? Opportunity knocks, yet the sound is muffled because you're still holding on to past hurts and toxic thoughts. The time to break free from that is now! God has n

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Mar 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781647739126

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UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME

BY WHITNEY MCCONAGA

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Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2021 by Whitney McConaga

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64773-911-9

ISBN 978-1-64773-912-6 (ebook)

Dedicated to the strong black women

who make me better:

Yvonne, June, Mary Phillips, Zaniah, Zamira, and my

Seeking the Lord Connect Group

Introduction

You’re just way too nice.

If I were you, I would do it this way.

You’re better than me because I would have…

For many years, these words shaped me. These words ensnared me. From the time I was a little girl all the way to my college years, I could never seem to be good enough because I was too good. Unfortunately, negativity has a way of enticing others just as honey does with bees. It has a way of luring you in unexpectedly, and if you aren’t careful, you’ll land in a Venus flytrap and be eaten alive.

When I think about it, there’s just no way of really pleasing or satisfying anyone. If I acted mean, people would say, Ouch, that burned, or Maybe you shouldn’t have done it this way. Even though they sounded concerned, there was a secret desire for me to conform to their corrupt way of thinking. I lived this life both in my head and in reality, trying to please others but really hurting myself, and not living a purpose-filled life as God intended. I ended up in a tug-of-war between voices that had absolutely no control over my life. As long as I gave fuel to the fire of other people’s needs, I starved myself of my own.

So what can you do if you are in the same position? How can you break the cycle and be free? How can you start living the life God intended for you to live unapologetically? I don’t have all the answers, but I pray that my story will inspire and motivate you to dive into your next level of freedom and faith, and that God will use you to impact your families, your communities, and those around the world.

Daddy Issues

I could see your efforts, but your presence was unfelt.

When the absence of you lingered, I grew quiet as kept.

Shadows and years would flutter by.

You left me waiting, wondering WHY?

One of my favorite pastors, Michael Todd of Tulsa, Oklahoma, once mentioned in one of his sermons, We all got daddy issues. Whether our father was present or not, we all have to acknowledge the fact that we have daddy issues. I learned at a young age that being present didn’t always mean better. Even the daddy who had it all together on the outside struggled with his own issues, or the ones of those who came before him, the generational cycle of his forefathers.

I definitely had daddy issues.

When I was born on October 20, 1986, I was thrust into a world of strong-willed yet angry women. My mom worked, while my grandmother took care of me full-time. I never had sleepovers or friends to hang out with. It was me, Granny, Mommy, no daddy and no words spoken about it. I remember seeing my dad only two times before I turned six, and even those memories are vague. What I know now is that my mom was pregnant at the same time as another woman by the same man: my father. My grandmother stepped in, and the rest is history. I leave it that way because every explanation involves finger pointing or questioning why things weren’t said or done.

As a young child I felt an increasing need for fatherly love imploding within me. Nine months after my seventh birthday, my mother met a new man and they married in the summer of 1993. I earned a stepfather overnight. Gary Basil stepped in but even then, I held on to my daddy issues. Memories of my real father slipped in and out of my mind, and I continued to conform to my new life with Mommy and my new daddy. But that’s the problem…I conformed. I grew complacent and closed off. I closed myself off at the age of eight, and slowly