The Heart & Soul of Parenting Handbook: Step-by-Step Skills to Empower Both Parent & Child

By Sharon Quinn

Discover you're not a bad parent after all!

You simply don't have what you need to parent well: correct information that really works so you'll never again need to yell, feel like your kids control you, or have another meltdown.

 

That's right, you can stop feeling guilt or shame

• Language: English
• Publisher: Window to the World Publishing
• Release date: Dec 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9781944796105

Sharon Quinn

Sharon Quinn, award winning screenwriter and filmmaker is married and divides her time between her beloved Texas and the mountains of Utah, where she does most of her writing and creates her characters while walking her Siberian husky, Tennessee.

Book preview

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~ a Quality of Life book ~

What People Are Saying About . . .

The Heart & Soul of Parenting

Handbook

Reading this book is like solving parenting before you parent.

~~~ Robbie Tigard

"This book is important because it helps you change the legacy you’ll leave behind for the better. It holds more than your average parenting or self-help book, helping you gently discipline yourself and those in your care.

I recommend this handbook for anyone parenting or working with children. When it comes out, loving parents will be empowered to give a complete education to their children.

~~~ Trison Graham

This book is the ABCs for parents that love their children.

~~~ Trey Patrick

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The

Heart & Soul of Parenting

Handbook

Not JUST Your Average Discipline

Thinking Chair &

Find Your Peace™

Discipline that Teaches Empowerment!

Is This TCFP Method Right for

 Me & My Family?

An amazing Principle-based paradigm-shift births a system that uplifts and nourishes both children and adults—parents, grandparents, teachers, childcare workers—when consistently implemented. Its illuminating approach inspires, heals, and trains your family to be the best family they can be by:

Defining the two urges everyone deals with daily thatinfluence our choices, personifying them in a child-friendly way as ‘Great Me’ and ‘petty me.’

Centering your child’s discernment on respect for his best self, his ‘Great Me,’ and the ability to recognize his ego-mind as a ‘petty me’ that’s not his desirable ‘go to’ self!

Doing no harm—removing shaming and judging from the discipline equation as well as the use of violence to get your point across.

Working well with children who are eager to please as well as with those who are strong-willed and not inclined to cooperate.

Evolving a trusting, happy relationship between parent and child.

Wholistically, TCFP Teaches Life Skills,

Developing Your Child’s:

Delightful, unique attitude and brilliance.

Calm, self-reflective nature to easily reconnect with his natural compassion, inner harmony, and peace.

Ability to be responsible and accountable for making informed and balanced choices based on his sound reasoning, mindfulness, and mutuality.

Internally motivated self-control, guided by an ethical frame of reference that’s his lifelong compass.

Trust in himself as worthy and capable, with confidence and courage to rely on what he knows to be true and to follow it.

‘Spirit-in-actuality’ health and well-being by uniting and illuminating his consciousness, heart, and mind.

Patience, love of truth, honesty, courtesy, decision-making, communication, cooperation, ethical nature, logical and critical reasoning/thinking,leadership, and owning his impact on others.

As techniques go,

TCFP is quite stellar because Principle is its foundation, and it’s fluid. With practice, it shines, tempering your body-mind-Spirit via a wholism approach. It teaches you and your child to center in knowing Who-I-AM (being authentically who you are), granting resiliency for a radiant, heart-to-heart, mindful life!

Inspiration & Dedication

Ever had a job where you had no experience, no training? You weren’t allowed to quit, and people’s lives were are stake? That’s parenting.

~ Andrea Pannell ~

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"Conscious parenting is activism.

You are changing the world."

~ Vivek Patel ~

It is easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult.

  ~ Frederick Douglass ~

To All Who Have the

Care of Children Under Their Wing:

I want you to catch the ‘heart & Soul’ enthusiasm of parenting to open your joy for curiosity and discovery. That will enable you to usher Souls forward who are being their best selves, living in wellness. To that sacred end, I’ll teach you to have good instincts from your heart & Soul that uplift your awareness and abilities. But you must endeavor with passion to make this study your art of parenting well. Make it your unrelenting investment in your child’s future! You’ll enjoy an infinity payout that empowers both you and your child. The upshot is this: You’ll change what’s possible. That’s the power of embracing this new paradigm! And it’s all in your hands . . .

All to Light & Love without borders, 

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Acknowledgments

THANK YOU to all who made this happen:

~ Drs. Jared and Nicole and their daughter Kaydence ~

For giving me a big nudge and for having a lovely, brilliant child who’s reaching for the stars, ever deserving the best that wisdom has to offer!

~ Trison G. and William G. ~

For cheering me on from the sidelines to just get it done—to Trison for sharing his nephew’s picture that turned the light bulb on for me re the cover design, and to William for tending to life as I wrote. And thanks, guys, for your invaluable input as beta readers!

~ Andrew T. ~

For using his blossoming skills and tools to build the foundation of the index—a great help, prod, and boost. Kudos!

~ Beth Hayse, editor ~

For using her keen eye to truly edit into the nights despite long days at the office and precious grandkids galore.

~ All Children ~

For being my precious muses, setting my heart afire, and attuning me to your reach to become the stars you are.

There have been big win-wins for us all for being on the edge of TRUTH, co-creating our infinity payouts, and enjoying our Unity-of-Oneness!

My heart is full of gratitude that’s ever silently beaming my Light & Love to each and every one of you for your contributions. Know this: My Christos-Spirit shall never forget nor cease to appreciate you.

Ahh… the many faces of parenting a child… and, then, you realize… whew!

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There’s so much more to know. Indeed, welcome to your hands-on ‘PARENTS in the KNOW’ handbook!

Full Title Page

Sharon Quinn

PARENTS in the KNOW!™ & TCFP™ Founder

Montessori Lead Teacher

The Heart & Soul of Parenting

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Handbook

Step-by-Step

Skills to Empower

Both Parent & Child

The TCFP Method:

Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

Be Effective. Be Peaceful.

Principle-based discipline without harm, teaching critical thinking skills & personal accountability ~

WindowToTheWorldPublishing.com

Copyright Page

The Heart & Soul of Parenting Handbook:

Step-by-Step Skills to Empower Both Parent & Child

Sharon Quinn

SELFGnosis® is a trademark registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office

and is a Registered Trademark of Sharon A. Quinn Revocable Trust.

Copyright © 2020 Sharon A. Quinn Revocable Trust

All rights reserved. Except for the use of brief quotations in a book review, no part of this publication may be reproduced in any form whatsoever without express written permission from the publisher. For permissions and inquiries, contact the publisher:  www.windowtotheworldpublishing.com

Disclaimer:

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental.

The publisher and author assume no liability for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein and have no control over the content of any external website links. Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader, and this book is not intended as a substitute for professional advice or services. All the links in this book were last accessed on 6/30/20.

Cover Design: Panagiotis Lampridis

Editor/Linguist: Beth Hayse

Author photograph: Lynda Sheehan

All photographs used with permission.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020911460

ISBN13:  978-1-944796-09-9 (paperback)

ISBN13:  978-1-944796-10-5 (ePub)

ISBN13:  978-1-944796-21-1 (Kindle)

July 2020

Made in USA

Version 1.0

img7.png WINDOW to the WORLD PUBLISHING (WTTW): We publish educational, meaningful, innovative, and insightful books of quality for adults and children. Our mission is to advance and nurture all Consciousness and its innate potential into HUman beingness that’s able to co-create a world of peace and prosperity for all to experience and express.

TABLE of CONTENTS: Detailed Access

TCFP:

Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

Not Just Your Average Discipline

Inspiration & Dedication

Acknowledgements

Illustrations

Full Title Page

Copyright Page

Table of Contents

Preface: It’s Unfair!…

               An Incomplete Education

1.  For You

2.  Expertise from Applied Experience

3.  Make This Your Go-To Handbook

Chapter 1: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

                   Build a Healthy Relationship & Life

                   with Your Child

1.  What Is the TCFP Discipline Approach?

Chapter 2: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

How Does It Differ from Time-Outs?

1.  Oops! Another Pop Psychology Failure

2.  Understanding the Capricious Nature of

     Time-Outs

3.  Understanding the Universal Wisdom &

     Nature of the TCFP Approach

Chapter 3: How to Successfully Use the Thinking

Chair & Find Your Peace™ Method

1.  Bottom-Line Principles

The Thinking Chair Itself (principle #8)

Why TCFP Is So Effective (info box)

       (highlighted text)

2.  Principle Overview Wrap-Up

Chapter 4: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

                   Discipline In Action

1.  How You Do It

2.  Intro & Demo

I.   Intro

II.  Now, for the Narrative

III. And Now, for the Process

STEP 1 (your offer to collect self)

STEP 2 (‘sit and think’ initiates TCFP)

Additional Pointers for Successful Outcomes

STEP 3 (vigil phase)

Proviso A (3rd person guidance)

Proviso B (bold-defiance protocol)

STEP 4, Part A (verify body language)

STEP 4, Part B (verify for ‘green light’)

STEP 4, Part C (get face-to-face)

a Proviso Requiring STEP 4, Part D

             (rebellious response)

STEP 5, Part A (instructive recognition)

STEP 5, Part B (amends)

STEP 6 (closure)

Chapter 5: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

STEPS for Special Circumstances

STEP 5, Part C Detailed Instructions

  1.  Resurgence of a ‘Petty Me’ Battle

  2.  A Plea to Right an Unfair Wrong

  3.  The Temptation to Downplay, Finesse, etc.

  4.  If Sibling Rivalry Is At Play

  5. Physical Intervention for Shocking Behaviors

  OR If Your Child Has Special Needs

Path One: Refusal to Sit in the Chair

Path Two: Special Needs

  6.  Strategies for Logical Consequences &

       Making Age-Appropriate Amends

  7. (See Addendum #3: Family-Crisis Guidance &

Anxiety-Driven Tantrums & Power Struggles)

Chapter 6: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

                   An Informal Discussion

1.  Value of Principle-Based Systems

2. Let’s Dovetail Back to Deepening Our

Practical Understanding

3.  When/Is It Too Late to Start?

4.  Thinking Chair Questions

5.  Am I Doing It Right? Angst

6.  The Temper-Tantrum Paradox

7. Be Creative: Ideas for Talking to Your Child

Chapter 7: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

                   Moving Forward & Upward!

1.  Understanding Good & Bad & the Quantum

     Leap into ‘Great Me’/’Petty Me’

2.  What Does Ethical Behavior Look Like?

3.  Deepening Your Understanding of Love

4.  A Caveat Encouraging Great Parenting

5.  Key Factors that Give the Thinking Chair &

     Find Your Peace Its Magic

6.  Synopsis

Chapter 8: Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™

                   Healthy Habits & Reminders

1.  Don’t Do That

Old School Ideas Die Hard…

2.  Do This

Best Practices for Effective & Positive

     Parenting

"Oops! Is That Yours??! (Stealing)

Lying…The Devil’s in the Details

The Elephant in the Room

Subtle Power of Routine & Ritual

3. Reminder Tips: Parents, Be Astute!

Bottom-Line Takeaways

Addendum

1.  Time to Say Goodbye for Now…

About the Author

Websites & Resources

2.  One Last Thing

3.  Editor’s Note:

An Emergent Family Crisis & Tips

Parents: Your State of Mind Matters

Additional Guidelines for Anxiety Tantrums

Deal with Power Struggles (STEP 5, Part C, #7)

Bonus

Your TCFP Treasure Chest:

A Quick Reference Guide to STEPS 1-6

—————

TCFP

The Thinking Chair & Find Your Peace™ Paradigm

TCFP is a Principle-based wholism: a system, process, approach, method, techniques, and training for parents to raise resilient children with future competence. Its art and dō of awareness show the way to leading a prosperous life—gifted with balance, critical thinking, mutuality-relating, and empowered self-discipline.

PREFACE

It’s Unfair!

Adults Suffer in Life

Due to an Incomplete Education

PARENTING Is

One of Those Essential Skills

Allowed to Fall Through the Cracks

For You

The point of this jam-packed handbook is to begin filling in one of those serious gaps—that of being able to effectively parent with discipline that is nurtured and guided by wisdom advice.

Many parents do not get the satisfaction that they desire with time-outs. For the most part, their children have not learned to self-govern as hoped for. And, maybe, that desire not being fulfilled for you is the very reason you’re reading this handbook!

Filling in those gaps, this plan elevates discipline to nurture the generosity of your child’s spirit, ennobling his/her character and enabling emotional growth to attain the highest level.

While the world abounds in advice that is concept based and merely formulated into trivial but good-sounding formulas, such info is not what you need. You need and deserve what works for you and is the best of the best, the cream of the crop, yes?!

Rather, this book is a record of well-vetted and learned insights being shared with you for the explicit benefit of you and your family.

The methods I’m sharing with you are, in actuality, fostered by children themselves. So, how does the saying go—straight from the horse’s mouth? That fact alone is largely the powerhouse of what you’ll learn here.

Additionally, the information and understandings I’m sharing with you are rich in eternal Principles and grounded in daily reality.