Be the Wisdom You Want to See in Your Kids.: A Guide to Parenting with Inspiration, Living with Joy, and Making a Difference.

By Magda Tarnawska Senel, PhD

Although most parents rate having children as the most meaningful experience of their lives, many find themselves pushed to their emotional and physical limits. Parenthood affords us the opportunity to become more compassionate, patient and understanding, but we also run the risk of becoming more irritable, impatient and intolerant. This book shows readers how they can transform everyday challenges into sources of empowerment and inspiration by demonstrating that joyful living and soulful parenting is not something that just happens by itself; it is a result of choices we make every day. It also presents several proven models for effectively achieving higher levels of fulfillment and a variety of creative activities for both parents and children. By guiding readers to find their own answers to such questions as: What is the difference between a person who is unable to live a happy life and one who succeeds in living with a rich feeling of fulfillment? How do we arrive at adulthood behaving the way we do? this book helps parents discover their most authentic and inspired selves and focus on raising joyful, happy and successful children who develop to their fullest potential.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504902854

Magda Tarnawska Senel, PhD

Magda Tarnawska Senel, Ph.D. is an educator, writer, interpreter, and a mother. She is the author of the children’s version of this book: The Sunshine Warriors. Learning, Living, and Being Cool the Smart Way. For more information, please visit her website and blog, Think Joy. Act Peace. at http://thinkjoyactpeace.com

Book preview

Be the Wisdom

YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOUR KIDS

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A Guide to Parenting with Inspiration, Living with Joy, and Making a Difference

Magda Tarnawska Senel, Ph.D.

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

Be the Wisdom You Want to See in Your Kids is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation in matters of childcare or parenting. It should be used only as a general guide and not as an ultimate source of information.

The author shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book.

©

2015 Magda Tarnawska Senel, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/01/2015

ISBN: 978-1-5049-0286-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-0285-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015904559

Illustrator Dan Drews

Cover by PixelStudio

Edited by David Tabatsky

Author’s Photograph by Anna Uryga

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Introduction

1 Being Me

2 Developing Confidence

3 Doing My Best

4 Nurturing Talents

5 Embracing Health

6 Cultivating Gratitude

7 Learning to Yield

8 Respecting Life

9 Celebrating Diversity

10 Remembering to Love

11 Believing in Miracles

12 Letting Go of Fear

13 Weaving a Safety Net

14 Accepting Change

15 Becoming Complete

Gratitude (Acknowledgments)

The Sunshine Warriors (Preview)

Magda’s Blog: Think Joy. Act Peace

PRAISE FOR BE THE WISDOM YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOUR KIDS

Parents often know the theory for raising competent and happy children, but cannot apply it in challenging moments. Tarnawska’s book closes this gap. Going beyond inspiration and theory Dr. Tarnawska Senel offers focused questions that are designed to bring on the parent’s innate wisdom and emotional competence, as well as parent-child activities and poems to create connection and nurture the child’s sense of self-worth. Following the book’s instructions can bring peace, deep connection and joy into any relationship.

—Naomi Aldort, author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.

In her meticulously crafted parenting guide, Dr. Tarnawska Senel not only weaves together mindful approaches to living and raising children, but thoughtfully shows us how to inspire our children to embrace these skills and perspectives with interactive exercises and poetry. Using a modern twist, Tarnawska shows us that the art of passing wisdom intergenerationally is alive and well.

—Bethany Casarjian, Ph.D., Clinical Director of Youth Services at the Lionheart Foundation, co-author of Mommy Mantras and Power Source: Taking Charge of Your Life and author of Power Source Parenting: Growing Up Strong and Raising Healthy Kids.

Dr. Tarnawska Senel has written a refreshingly optimistic book that addresses the challenges of parenting in a manner that has the power to truly transform the experience of raising children. While she focuses on the uniqueness of each child, she also encourages parents to continually evolve in their own right in order to guide their children in their journey to self-discovery. A must read for every parent!

—Nancy Lee Cecil, Ph.D., Professor of Education at California State University, Sacramento; expert on children’s literacy and author of several books including Striking a Balance: Comprehensive Approach to Literacy, Literacy in Grades 4-8, and Raising Peaceful Children in a Violent World.

Every page of this book has an idea, a real-life story, something to think about, a new concept to embrace, a new way to parent, and as the title promises, it indeed is a guide to parenting with inspiration, living with joy, and making a difference. I made lots of notes, scribbled in the margins, and turned down corners of pages I want to read again. You will be glad you stopped and took the time to read it. An insightful and very helpful book. I loved it!

—Joyce Chapman, author of Live Your Dream, Journaling For Joy and Celebrate Your Dream.

"Be the Wisdom You Want to See in Your Kids is simultaneously deep and delightful, timeless and timely. As advocates and lifelong learners of conscious and soulful parenting, we love how Dr. Magda Tarnawska Senel, with refreshing humor and transparency, has so wisely woven a rich and relatable tapestry of parenting insights and hands-on activities for both parents and their children to enjoy – together. We highly recommend this as a daily workbook/playbook for grassroots mamas and papas who wish to learn and laugh, grow and s-t-r-e-t-c-h in mutuality with their kids, knowing that every day, every choice, every shared experience is sacred and pithy with the potential for deep learning and transformation."

—Einar C. Haver and Wennifer Lin Haver, Ph.D., co-creators of The Water Brewery http://www.thewaterbrewery.com and Mother Tree Sanctuary http://www.mothertreesanctuary.org

"Be the Wisdom You Want to See In Your Kids is a wonderful book using everyday issues parents face and turning them into simple, practical experiences children will learn and grow from. Dr. Tarnawska Senel eloquently leads parents on a deeper journey helping parents keep perspective and focus on what is really important. She masterfully and gently guides parents to look at parenting from a wellspring of their own values and wisdom to model to their children. A beautiful read!"

—Pilar Placone, Ph.D., Marriage and Family Therapist, author of Mindful Parent Happy Child.

For Timon

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel

and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will

make the world a little less cruel and heartless.

— L.R. Knost

Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high

that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.

— Alvin Price

INTRODUCTION

It should come as no surprise that most people rate having children as the most meaningful and worthwhile experience of their lives. And yet, many parents often find themselves pushed to their limits, emotionally and physically. According to a recent Pew Research Center study, a majority of parents view childcare as a very exhausting activity. Many feel overwhelmed by the challenges of parenting on top of the multitude of everyday tasks and other obligations they already face.

Parents often struggle with feelings of guilt and inadequacy while trying to be perfect moms and dads, loving spouses or partners, competent employees, successful entrepreneurs, good friends, engaged citizens and fulfilled people. Most average human beings are unable to simultaneously meet all of these expectations. As a result, they end up living unfulfilling, cluttered and stressful lives. If this sounds familiar and you can relate to this in any way, this book is for you.

Be the Wisdom You Want to See in Your Kids is based on a simple premise––that happy and fulfilled parents raise happy and fulfilled children. It is meant to motivate parents to create inspired and joyful lives with their children while also serving as a supportive companion for those who may feel overwhelmed, depressed or simply in need of an energy boost. The book’s main value lies in its optimism and wisdom and with the creative activities it provides for parents and children. It encourages parents to discover their most authentic and inspired self through the actual experience of parenting. This may lead to satisfying the universal desire that all parents have to raise joyful, happy and successful children who can develop to their fullest potential.

When we become parents, everything changes. It is not only that new, extra person in the house to suddenly figure out and take care of; it really becomes about how we deal with becoming different people ourselves, as we grow and stretch and come to view relationships and the world around us through an extraordinarily expanded lens.

Parenthood affords us the opportunity to become more compassionate, patient and understanding, but we also run the risk of becoming irritable, impatient and intolerant. Yikes! We had better become aware of those risks and do something to approach these changes in conscious and responsible ways. So this is not merely a parenting book with instructions on how to raise your child. It’s more about raising you, hopefully to a more holistic, healing place of empowerment and inspiration.

Several years ago, through my own experience as a new mother and in conversations with other parents, I realized there was a great need for a parenting book that embraced the notion that a parent must continue to evolve in his or her own right while simultaneously cultivating a deep relationship with his or her child.

Specific issues repeatedly surfaced, including the need to reboot one’s life and identity after becoming a parent, the difficulties in dealing with new challenges, and a desire to develop a more holistic and mutually satisfying relationship with one’s child. I came to realize that aspiring to raise a joyful and thriving child while also seeking to elevate oneself to a place of empowerment and inspiration should not be mutually exclusive.

Most researchers agree that the foundation for happiness and success in life is set in childhood and that some of the most important contributing factors are a positive self-image, confidence in one’s abilities, an optimistic outlook, healthy self-discipline and good relationships with people. Naturally, I want all of these things for my son, Timon (rhymes with Simon), who is now six years old and, thankfully, sleeping as I write.

So I keep asking myself, what is the difference between a person who is unable to live a happy and fulfilling life and one who succeeds in living with enthusiasm, grace and a rich feeling of fulfillment? How do we arrive at adulthood behaving the way we do? This question really pops up at high school reunions. When I went to my 20th recently (ouch!), I was struck by how the current lives of my classmates and friends were an obvious reflection of the personalities, attitudes and beliefs they displayed during our high-school years. Looking back, the development of their personal and professional lives seems quite predictable. I also found confirmation that a positive self-image, confidence in one’s abilities, an optimistic outlook on life, healthy self-discipline, and good relationships with people are absolutely crucial and that, in addition to natural personality-based inclinations, these qualities are either acquired and nurtured in their families or never learned at all.

This book explores these themes through a series of reflections on how we perceive and experience our daily lives. It also includes poetry and illustrations intended as conversation starters for adults and children. (Don’t worry if you disliked poetry back in school or simply didn’t understand it. You will not have any trouble with the poems in this book. I promise!)

What is more important than instilling ideas of self-love and self-worth in our children? Those are two pillars of raising happy and healthy children, but we must also promote healthy habits, excitement for learning and a positive outlook on life. We can do this by nurturing respect for other people and for nature; conveying the importance of gratitude; looking at life through the prism of opportunities (rather than failures); and always doing our individual best. Once we––and our children––begin practicing these habits, we can further appreciate the importance of family, embrace diversity and explore more spiritual connections in our life.

The simple principles in this book reinforce concepts of mindful and soulful parenting, meant to strengthen the mind, body and spirit of both children and parents. But what I hope makes this book truly useful is in providing ways to actively build these foundations with your children.

Be the Wisdom You Want to See in Your Kids presents several proven models for effectively achieving higher levels of fulfillment, including the practice of mindfulness, guided visualization, journaling, creating and using mantras, using humor to discharge negative situations and living in the mode of being and allowing versus doing and forcing.

Each chapter begins with a narrative for parents that explores an