Grace Notes

By Richetta McNeil

God is my Savior and my Redeemer.  I have moved over to the passenger seat.  I pray God will take the wheel and be the driver of my life.  I am blessed beyond anything I have ever imagined. I want to sing his praises all the days of my life. I want people to know there are many challenges ahead, and I am ready to embrace each with

• Language: English
• Publisher: URLink Print & Media, LLC
• Release date: Mar 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647532987

Book preview

Grace Notes

Copyright © 2020 by Rikki McNeil. All rights reserved.

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The opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily those of URLink Print and Media.

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Published in the United States of America

ISBN 978-1-64753-297-0 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64753-298-7 (Digital)

20.03.20

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my mother,

Mrs. Frankie T. McNeil

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge God, who is the head of my life. Thank you for holding me when I thought I was all alone. Thank you for being my rock and shield in the storm. Thank you for sustaining me through every aspect of my life and for never turning your back on me.

I would like to thank Mr. Reuben Mosley. Thank you for working day and night and believing in me. Thank you for wanting the world to hear my story. I will always love you.

Thank you, Mr. Herbert Barree. You are one in a million. There has never been a time I did not come to you that you were not there, wanting nothing in return.

Thank you, Mrs. Marie Barree (godmother), for just being there for me.

And last but not least, thank you, Mrs. Deborah Reed, for being the writer. You listened to me, read my letters, and put it to paper so the world could see Rikki McNeil. May God always bless you and your family.

Contents

A Message from Deborah’ Reed

Prologues

Part 1: Secrets

Secrets 1: A Love Story

Secrets 2: Keeping Secrets

Part 2: True Confessions

Confessions 1: My High School Sweetheart

Confession 2: A Secret Romance

Confessions 3: The Rape

Confessions 4: Common Law Lies

Confessions 5: Nightmare

Confessions 6: Through the storm

Part 3: Sweet Hours of Prayer

Sweet Hour 1: Prayer of Praise

Sweet Hour 2: Prayers of Thanksgiving

Sweet Hour 3: Prayers for the Village

Sweet Hour 4: Prayers for Protection against Evil

Sweet Hour 5: Prayer for Deliverance

Sweet Hour 6: Prayers for Justice

Part 4: Trials and Tribulations

The Shock of Trials and Tribulations

The Questions

The Guilt

Part 5: Darkness before Dawn

Nightmare

Part 6: Reap for Joy

The Beginning

Sowing Seeds

Watering and Nourishing

Part 7: Discernment and Wisdom

Discernment and Wisdom for the Journey

Part 8: The Mission

Part 9: Bound for the Promised Land

A Message from Deborah’ Reed

Writing Rikki McNeil’s story has been one of the most amazing journeys I have ever had the pleasure to undertake. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would write about someone’s life. Meeting Reuben Mosley for the very first time was interesting because his excitement is contagious. He was convinced that Rikki was on the verge of an exciting recording career and that God was orchestrating the entire deal. He told me to pray about writing this story and then let him know, at a later date, if I would accept the challenge. I laughed but agreed to pray and consider his request. He told me he would be back in touch with me in about two weeks.

Good to his word, Reuben called to see what I had decided. Again, I protested, telling him that I came from a traditional, classical music background at church. I was not familiar with gospel music other than old hymns. We had nothing in common except we were both Christians and we were both mothers of sons. He assured me that my background made no difference. I told him I would want to meet Rikki before committing to write anything. The arrangements were made, and Rikki came to my home one evening after work.

In no time, we were talking as though we had known each other forever. Again, I told her my concerns about never writing something this important or having ever been published except for newspaper articles. As she left my home, she said we should both pray about whether or not we were the right fit. I did pray and asked God to give me a good excuse to back out.

I called Rikki and asked her if we could meet again. We made plans again for an evening after work, and I promised to have supper waiting for her. After we ate, we settled down, and I began to listen to Rikki’s story. Before she left, I knew her story needed to be told. She told me she was comfortable talking to me about her life. We met many times after that, and I always looked forward to seeing and visiting with Rikki. I was humbled as she relayed her suffering to me. I wanted to protect her, but her faith strengthened her to push on toward the goal.

Rikki’s first day at the recording studio, to record her CD Just Gospel, I sat down at the computer and began writing. I called Rikki in Oklahoma. It was about seven in the evening, and she answered her cell phone. She was thrilled about her first day in the studio. I was delighted that I had started writing. We must have sounded like two schoolgirls talking for hours on the phone, oblivious to the world around us. After hanging up, I felt that God had brought two completely different people together to accomplish a mighty important task.

The task is finished for me, but for Rikki, it is just the beginning. It has been a blessing to write Rikki’s story because I witnessed the power of redeeming love. I am convinced that God really did orchestrate the entire deal. Rikki is a lovely woman filled with love for all of God’s people. She trusts God with all her heart, and she is determined to live and shout for joy!

On a personal note, Rikki and Reuben, thank you for trusting me to write this incredible story. It has been my privilege to meet and work with both of you. Thanks also to Pam Pryor for suggesting me to Reuben and for listening to me as I discovered a way to tell Rikki’s story. Most importantly, I thank God for the inspiration to write. I am still in awe of His mighty power to use a nobody to tell a story like Rikki’s. Finally, Rikki McNeil, I want you to know that I will follow your story and listen to your songs all the days ahead.

Prologues

My son was murdered. I had a life before he was murdered, but how does life go on after your son is murdered? I did not participate in my life for many years after my son’s murder. I continued to work, saw a psychologist, took antidepressants, went to church, sang in the choir, and attended various family celebrations, funerals, and other functions that required my presence. During this time, I did not see the sun come up or the day change into night. I did not see the leaves change colors and fall from the trees, nor did I see the daffodils poke through the spring soil. I did not feel summer’s basking heat or winter’s frigid cold because the seasons never changed in all that time. My ears did not hear mournful coos from the doves each morning nor choirs of angels singing carols at Christmas. My taste buds ceased to register sweet and tart flavors. I did not smell cinnamon rolls baking or notice the velvet smoothness on my tongue as a Hershey’s Kiss dissolved. My fingers could peck on a keyboard, but they could not feel the beats of my own pulse. These actions that prove life is in progress ceased for me except for one essential thing: my heart continued pumping blood to all the parts of my body, though I willed it to stop. So that’s how life goes on after your son is murdered. As a matter of fact, that’s how life went on for over fifteen years.

Now stay tuned because I don’t want to lose you in the depths of my despair. There is purpose in my story. I want to praise and sing to the glory of God all the days of my life so that you might know that all things are possible through Christ, our Lord and Savior. Yes, I am alive! I am alive, not because I overcame my grief after fifteen years, but because Christ commanded me to live. In May 2010, I was at my desk working and I slipped in a CD by a well-known pastor and biblical scholar. I put it on, filling the air with white-noise to help pass the time while I worked. I surely was not paying attention, nor could I tell you what it was even about. In a very odd moment, I was stunned to hear the word live. That word, live, was slowly, distinctly, and forcefully spoken in a prayer by the pastor.

The entire remainder of the day was interrupted by live. I continued to hear live. I thought about it; I tried to stop thinking about it. I was captivated and obsessed with that one word. I wondered if I had finally lost touch with reality. I could not focus on my work, frustrated by live sounding off in my head. I hollered at God, What are you doing to me? Even though I yelled at God and blamed him for this intrusion, suddenly the tension in my shoulders began to ebb. Maybe acknowledging God, even in my anger, was the pivotal point in restoring my life. God had placed this word in my ears, and I heard it in my heart. God commanded me to live!

After wrestling with God that day, I begrudgingly began to obey. It is strangely comforting to be in the same place for so many years. You don’t have to go through change, which is a terrifying task, you don’t have to anticipate, and you don’t have to think too hard. I know this seems callous, but sometimes being dead while you are still alive is easier. Going through the motions means you really do not have to participate. You don’t have to go through hurts and disappointments; you have no expectation, no hopes, and no dreams. That’s why obeying God was tough because he required so much of me. Let me tell you right now, living is hard work! But at the end of the day, our hard work provides us with the gift of peaceful sleep. To labor in God’s love is to rest in His peace.

The Bible tells us in Romans 15:4:

For whatever things were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.

By sharing my journey from the past through the valleys of darkness to life alive in Christ, I hope to encourage you to seek God, who restores all hope. The best way for me to take you on this journey is by sharing letters I have written to God. I want you to experience a little of the roller coaster I have ridden more years than I like to acknowledge. Hopefully the only queasiness you get will just be the Holy Spirit raring to jump into your life! So this is my story and this is my song of how God commanded me to live. I hope you stay tuned.

PART 1