A Walk Through the Valley: A Journey of Grief

By Robert Dipretore

"EVEN THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, FOR YOU ARE WITH ME." PSALMS 23:4

Everyone will experience grief sometime in their lives. We mourn the loss of something we value, whether it is a prized possession, a pet, a friendship, or a loved one. Today's society is filled with confus

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Feb 13, 2024
• ISBN: 9798890418586

Robert Dipretore

Robert DiPretore is a chaplain with the International Federation of Chaplains. He has over 40 years of experience as an entrepreneur and consultant. He earned a Master of Science degree in organizational behavior from Silver Lake College. robert proudly served his country for 10 years as a U.S. Marine. He was married to Vicki for over 40 years.

Book preview

Beginning of My Story . . .

Blessed are those who mourn

For they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Most people have several red-letter days in their lives. Some are defining. Some are redefining. That day may be joyous, such as meeting the love of your life, getting married, or the birth of a child. That day may be a great sense of accomplishment such as graduation or a promotion. Or that day may be devastating, like the death of someone you care deeply about.

August 5, 2018, is a date in mine. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and my wife and I were getting ready for church when we got the phone call. Two of our grandchildren were going on vacation with their dad. They were very excited because they were headed to New York City. They never made it. On that day in August, we lost our granddaughter, Amberlyn Rose Parmer, and her dad, Robert Parmer. My wife and I were crushed.

This work is a direct result of that event. Little did we know when this tragedy occurred just how much it would change our lives. About a year later, my wife and I started working with people at our church who are grieving. When health reasons and then Covid-19 stopped this ministry, we decided that we should continue through this book.

I want to take some time to tell you about our granddaughter. My wife wrote this in her journal shortly after Amberlyn passed. When I think of our Amberlyn, the amazing heart she had for others, it takes my breath away. You brought so much sparkle into my life. Your song, your laughter, your dance, and the energy you brought to everything you do. You loved out loud! Such grace—you had the ability to love, to forgive, and to find joy. Your unconditional love was amazing. Grandma will try to be happy knowing you are in God’s loving arms. Not an easy thing to do when my heart sinks missing you. To the moon and back, baby girl!

For me, I could say she lit up any room she walked into. She was so beautiful, and made our hearts go pitter-pat every time we got to see her. She loved her family and was like a second Mom to her little brother. She loved to argue with her older brother, but it was clear she loved him deeply.

She had a wicked sense of humor. I recall a time we went to Chili’s for dinner. At the takeout, there was a reserved parking spot that read, Takeout parking only, all others will be crushed and melted. She had to have her picture taken dancing and laughing around the sign. She loved to run and competed in several races. She loved to read and would call me to let me know when the next Dork Diaries book would be coming out so that Grandpa would make sure that she had the latest installment.

Most of all, she was a loving and caring young lady. One of our prized pictures is of her singing a solo at her church. She loved the Lord. She would stand up and befriend people that were being picked on. A couple of days before she passed, she wrote in her journal (I have written it as she did; the misspelled words are a genetic trait of our family) Don’t juge someone by how they sound, look or how they act. God loves the(m) just as much as you! I don’t believe a better eulogy could have been written about our granddaughter.

The rest of August 5th and a few days that followed are a blur. There was one thing that I will always remember. The first night in the hotel, I couldn’t sleep. My wife also was restless, waking up off and on throughout the night. At about 2 o’clock in the morning, I decided to check my emails. One of the emails I get daily is from a religious website that has daily quotes. The emails from the site normally comes at 6 in the morning, but on this day, it was already there. The quote for that day was The reason God gives us memories is so you can have roses in December. I fell apart. My granddaughter’s name is Amberlyn Rose Parmer. I knew at that time that God would get us through this. Another interesting part is though the website at times recycles quotes, I have never seen that particular quote again.

Shortly after that, I began to think that God might be calling me to work in the area of grief. I thanked Him for the opportunity. My wife and I started a peer group for grief ministry at our church. We found that many people don’t know how they are supposed to feel about grief. People don’t understand what is normal and what to expect. This book is an outgrowth of that ministry.

Just when I thought that I understood the grieving process, I discovered that I had much to learn. The next red letter day was November 6, 2020. That was the day that my loving wife of 40 years went to be with the Lord. I have never experienced such loss and devastation. My world was shattered.

I can’t say enough about Vicki. She was the love of