How We Got Our Sexual Orientation

By Joanne Borden

Researchers and scientists have searched and followed every clue for the answer to how we develop, form, or acquire our sexual orientation. They have found what they believe to be part of the answer, but never the complete story. In their search for an answer they have found valuable information for other issues. Up tp now no one has been able to presented the full "story." Because of this, many people describe sexual orientation as an inherent quality because we know it exists because we have it, but we don't know how we got it. This book reveals verbally and pictorially how we got our sexual orientation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joanne Borden
• Release date: Apr 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781735761145

Joanne Borden

Joanne Borden is a transgender woman. She lives in Nassau County, New York, is a widow, has 2 children and 4 grandchildren who refer to her as Papa Joanne.Before retiring, Joanne earned a Psychology AB, a Business MBA, and Engineering PE. She was an Industrial Engineering Consultant, was president of two engineering societies, and is a WWII veteran.In retirement, Joanne is the author of three books: "Transgender Complete, A Virtual Handbook," "The Transgender Monologues, Gender, Sexuality, and LGBT Life" and "Identical Treatment in the Machine of the Law, the Quest For Transgender Civil Rights."She has performed in the Vagina Monologues, her own monologues, and several Fresh Fruit Festival Variety Shows (NYC), where she won the Best Story Teller of 2012 award. She has spoken at Transgender Day of Remembrance services, churches, and synagogues on transgender and GLBT issues.Joanne is a Past Vice President of her League of Women Voters, an advocate for women’s equality, and the civil rights of gender variant people. She often speaks promoting all LGBT issues and has delivered 100+ speeches in county and state legislatures and other venues.

Book preview

How We Got Our

SEXUAL

ORIENTATION

© 2021 Joanne Borden

This book may not be copied or reproduced in any media or by any other means in whole or in part without the written permission of the

Author at

[e-mail]

ISBN 978-1-7357611-4-5

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I need to thank my friends at the Long Island and New York City LGBTQ+ Centers, their directors, and mostly to SAGE members for my education of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people many years ago. They eventually became more than my friends, because they were the only people who knew the real me!

In previous years, I really didn’t know any gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people or knew I knew them. None of those terms even existed in my days or in my vocabulary. As far as I knew, only the word homo existed. I was born in 1925 and grew up in the 1930s. My only exposure to those folks were 1940 comedians getting cheap laughs by creating stereotypes of gay men. I am happy to say that after being associated with many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender friends, those stereotypes are a false representation of them!

I also want recognize my friends and relatives who knew me as a man since they were born or since they first knew me years ago. They have accepted my transgenderism unconditionally and I salute them also. I am lucky since no one I knew rejected me as a transgender woman. My transition must have been more difficult for them than it was for me.

DEDICATION

B. H C. B.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1 - Sexual Orientation

Why All the Fuss?

Sexual Orientation Is a Taboo

I Can't See Your Sexual Orientation

Sexual Orientation Is Invisible

CHAPTER 2 - Classes of Sexual Orientation

Animal Homosexual Research

Heterosexual Orientation

Bisexual Orientation

Asexual Orientation

Others Sexual Orientations

CHAPTER 3 – Homosexuality: Origin & History

The Religious View of The Origin of Homosexuality

The Evolutionary View of The Origin of Homosexuality

Female Homosexual History

Male Homosexual History

The Neighborhood Bar

CHAPTER 4 - Sexual Orientation Phobias, and The Cure

Causes of Homosexuality

Sexual Orientation Phobias

Homophobia

Homophobia and the Bible

Effects and Perpetuation of Hate

Biphobia

Benefits of a Same Sex Relationships

The Cure

CHAPTER 5 - Embryo Development

CHAPTER 6– Early Studies

Homosexuality and Femininity

The Early Sexologists’ Observation and Research

Sexologists

Karl Maria Kertbeny

Karl-Heinrich Ulrich

Richard von Krafft-Ebing

Henry Havelock Ellis

Sigmund (Sigismund) Schloop Freud

Magnus Hirschfeld

Alfred Charles Kinsey

Wardell Pomeroy

Fritz Klein

Carl Gustav Jung

Marjorie Garber

CHAPTER 7 - Studies of Specific Characteristics

The Fraternal Birth Order Studies

Twin Studies

The Gay Gene

The Inner Ear

Finger Length Research

Occurrence of Sexual Orientation

CHAPTER 8– Human Complexity

CHAPTER 9 – Sexual Characteristic

An Inherent Quality

Universal Bisexuality

The Kinsey Factor

A Closer Look at How Sexuality Happens

CHAPTER 10– Development of Sexual Orientation

Companionship

CHAPTER 11 Summary of Research

Fraternal Birth Order Effect

The Gay Gene

Study of Women

Finger Length Ratio

Twin Studies

What All This Means

CHAPTER 12 - Sexual Behavior

Table 1 Conceptualization of the Kinsey Scale of Sexual Behavior of Men.

Table 2 Modified Scale to Accommodate New Born Children’s Sexual Orientation.

Table 3 Population Distribution of Sexual Attraction at Birth.

Table 4 Sexual Behavior After Exposure to the Environment.

REFERENCES

AUTHOR’S OTHER BOOKS

INTRODUCTION

The argument rages on! Are we born with our sexual orientation, do we learn it after we are born, or do we decide to be gay¹, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual of our own free will? The author explored many important research efforts that impact this issue and has found the origin of sexual orientation. She believes she found the answer to how sexual orientation is developed.

Researchers, scientists, and other professionals have been searching every possibility for the answer or even a clue for a long time. Aristotle², an ancient Greek author and philosopher believed the answer is we are all born with a "tabula rasa" (a blank slate)

Sometimes sexuality itself can be confusing. Many investigators do not specify the difference between sexual orientation (A person’s inherent sexuality, to whom they are attracted), sexual behavior (A person’s actual sexual acts), and sexual identity (whether you think of yourself as a girl or a boy).

Studies have shown us that many people consider themselves heterosexual (i.e., attracted to people of the other gender), but are frequently sexually intimate with people of their same gender. Self-appraisal is frequently questionable. Researchers have investigated many avenues and have found clues but they never found a complete answer to how we humans develop our sexuality.

Are the researchers looking in the wrong places? Their efforts have resulted in important information, but it is always only a piece of the puzzle. The rest of the story is educated opinion, but opinion.

They don’t always specify when they are talking about sexual orientation or sexual behavior, but they are mostly studying behavior because they are studying what their subjects are engaged in now. Sexual identity is easy to separate but can introduce its own complexities.

Discussing the ownership of a personal sexuality with adults yields their current behavior. They cannot remember anything before when they were three years old or so. They only assume they were born with the orientation they now have because for the most part, they never knowingly changed it.

The people on the far-right insist everyone is born heterosexual. They say gay/lesbian/bisexual individuals voluntarily choose to practice lesbian, gay, and bisexual behavior and therefore, choose to be a sinner! They say such people need to change their ways and are often too eager to help them.

This book studies the question of sexual orientation, sexual behavior, and excludes sexual identity. It includes when and how the physical and mental abilities associated with the issues are developed. Many scientists and researchers have studied these questions and found things associated with the answer, but it is recognized that what they found is only a part of the answer.

Human same gender attraction is a more important issue than politicians, religious people, the clergy, and most others currently understand. Although the number of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people that declare their sexual orientation to researchers is quite small, the actual number is believed to be much higher. If we consider only the number of people that say they are heterosexual, but regularly or occasionally have or had sexual relations with their same sex, researchers believe the population of such people is roughly one-fifth or more of the total population, but saying or more clearly indicates they are guessing.

Actually, we do not have a good grip on the number of truly lesbian, gay, or bisexual people, because it is mostly agreed that one same sex experience does not necessarily make someone lesbian, gay, or bisexual. This gives rise to the question, what is the number of same sex experiences required to make you a bisexual or even a lesbian or gay person? Furthermore, many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people (LGB people) are in the closet³ and won’t tell researchers of any same sex experience they may have had.

Many LGB people live with a difficult situation. Even with today’s more open society, they feel they would be faced with ostracization from their family, friends, and job, if their sexuality was known. They would be branded as homosexuals! Not gay or lesbian people but homosexuals! Therefore, they feel they must conceal their true feelings. Feelings that they know they did not select and many would gladly give up if they could, merely to free themselves from the secrecy of the closet.

In spite of everything, many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people thank God for the person that invented the closet! LGB people need a place to escape to and hide their secret. The closet has saved many lives both physically and emotionally. The drawback is once you are in the closet, you must remain alert at all times! When someone says something, you think, should I add to it? Should I comment and if I do will it blow my cover? If I were not gay, what would I say? When you are a closeted LGB person, you have to be on all the time!

The word pride³ has helped the world become more and more accepting of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. The adoption of the slogan Pride in 1970, a single word used in this regard, has played an important role in overcoming the shame that LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, etc.). people have been made to feel. It made coming out easier for many closeted people. Also, contributing to many people coming out is the number of actors, politicians, and others in the public eye that have come out. When I came out, I was told by others that it gave them the courage to come out also.

One problem is, when people think about gay and lesbian people, the first thought triggered is that sex is their purpose. The acceptance of them is usually on an intellectual basis—they think, we should not reject anyone!

When we think of heterosexual people, our thoughts of sex are not the first thing that crosses our mind. On the other hand, when LGBTQ+ people are thought of, the first thing many people think of is their sexual orientation.

Critics and others forget that in heterosexual relationships, sex is an infinitesimal part. Sex is also an infinitesimal part of LGBTQ+ relationships. When relationships are based solely on sexual relations, they typically do not endure.

Most couples are together for companionship. Companionship occupies a higher level of basic human needs. Sex may be important, but it is an infinitesimal part. The need is for everyone to accept LGBTQ+ people as people with the detail of a different sexual orientation. It is no different from just thinking some person is a woman or a man. We only think her ancestors came from Europe, when that is an issue. We should only think she or he has a same gender partner, when that is an issue.

Even in today’s climate, the origin of LGB is an important issue because of homophobia—harmful discrimination. The people that are gay and those that are lesbian or bisexual don’t remember being any other way or having any other label. Furthermore, they cannot remember ever changing their sexual orientation, which further reinforces their belief that they were born with their present sexual orientation.

Opposing this, there are people, especially those on the religious right, that say sexual activity is for procreation only and not meant for recreation or enjoyment. They believe that according to the Bible, LGB people are sinners! They have sex and can’t reproduce. Their sexual practices are for enjoyment and therefore, unnatural.

They forget that nearly everyone’s experience with same gender companionship starts in kindergarten or earlier and never leaves many of us. Even in advanced years, many heterosexual people still look forward to a form of gals’ or guys’ night out.

The intensity of the need for sexual satisfaction is a separate variable from companionship for both same gender and other gender couples. The question of whether heterosexuality or homosexuality is acquired or inborn is important because only one of them is considered acceptable at this time by most people. Those attracted to the same gender are therefore persecuted in some way. Sometimes the persecutors do not even realize what they are doing.

Researchers have explored every possible avenue they can think of to explain the formation sexual orientation. Thus far they have been unsuccessful. They never found the entire answer to what causes Sexual Orientation. However, when something that is different from heterosexuality is found, we often don’t know if the finding is a causing factor or a symptom of the cause. Most researchers state that there are many factors that influence sexual orientation. They suggest that a multitude of genes, the environment, and many other factors are involved. This book considers many of the clues found so far and pinpoints the answer to whether Sexual Orientation is a choice or is inborn. Is there another possibility besides those two?

It should be noted that the amount of research regarding gay people far exceeds the research regarding lesbian people.