Loving God, Loving Myself: Finding the Heart of the Father in Our Daily Lives

By Jerry Basel and Denise Basel

Is There Someone Important You’ve Forgotten to Love?

It’s the second greatest commandment in the Bible: Love your neighbor as you love yourself. But what if you don’t love yourself very well? How can you grow into a happier, freer, and more genuinely loving you?

In Loving God, Loving Myself

• Language: English
• Publisher: J & D Publications
• Release date: Mar 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781087871561

Jerry Basel

Jerry Basel, who has been married to Denise for over 45 years, has co-directed The Father’s Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry for almost twenty-five years, counseling individuals and couples worldwide. He completed a Master's Degrees in Christian Counseling as well as one in Theology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, VA. Jerry also holds a Master's Degree in Higher Education from Michigan State University. Prior to committing his life to pastoral ministry, he held teaching and administrative positions at the college and university level for almost 20 years. Jerry is also an ordained pastor.

Book preview

Loving God, Loving MyselfLoving God, Loving Myself

To our spiritual daughters and sons. Thank you for adopting us. You will always have a special place in our hearts.

Loving God, Loving Myself

Copyright © 2016 by Jerry Basel and Denise Basel

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the authors.

All Scripture quotations in this book, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotes marked NIV 1984 are from the 1984 edition.

Scripture quotations designated MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Scripture quotations designated AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP). Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Scripture quotations designated NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. Copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations designated Phillips are taken from The New Testament in Modern English by J. B Phillips. Copyright © 1958, 1960, 1972 by J. B. Phillips. Copyright renewed © 1986, 1988 by Vera M. Phillips.

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EVERYTHING GOD IN MY LIVING

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Editor: Bob Hartig (www.thecopyfox.com)

Interior design: Frank Gutbrod (www.behance.net/fgutbrod)

Cover design: Jeff Gifford (www.gradientidea.com)

Author photo: Christa Wilson, Raebeam Photography

Unless specifically noted by the authors, any names and other identifying details of clients have been changed to protect their privacy.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Sources

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Week 1 – Love What God Loves

Day 1 – Loving Who God Loves

Day 2 – Can You Love Yourself Too Much?

Day 3 – God with Me — The Breastplate of St. Patrick

Day 4 – You Are the Treasure of God

Day 5 – Seeing Yourself through God's Eyes

Week 2 – But Wouldn't That Be Selfish?

Day 1 – Hiding Behind a Mask

Day 2 – Moments of God's Revealed Love

Day 3 – Assumptions

Day 4 – Is It Unscriptural to Love Myself?

Day 5 – The Price of Not Doing Anger

Week 3 – Come as a Child

Day 1 – You're Just Like Your Father

Day 2 – Go Give Grandma a Hug

Day 3 – Dancing on Daddy's Shoes

Day 4 – From Orphan to Sonship

Day 5 – Revival of the Child

Week 4 – What Does God Feel — About Us?

Day 1 – How Long, O Lord, Before You...?

Day 2 – Waves of His Affection

Day 3 – I Love That God Feels

Day 4 – He Knows Our Smell

Day 5 – You Are My Sunshine

Week 5 – Going Back to Go Forward

Day 1 – That's a Wound

Day 2 – Mirror, Mirror

Day 3 – Greeting Cards

Day 4 – I Thought I Had a Good Childhood

Day 5 – Healing a Disconnected Heart

Week 6 – Foundational Building Blocks: Trust and Identity

Day 1 – When the Bags Are Empty

Day 2 – You Are a Letter

Day 3 – Repair My Heart

Day 4 – Is There a Door Number Three?

Day 5 – Don't Leave Me

Week 7 – Shields Up: The Ways We Protect Ourselves

Day 1 – Placing God's Armor over Our Walls

Day 2 – Turn Up the Light in My Heart

Day 3 – Breaking Free

Day 4 – Piece by Piece

Day 5 – Hiding From Love

Week 8 – Shame and the Lies We Believe

Day 1 – Control Points to Fear

Day 2 – You Are My Lionel

Day 3 – That's Not What It Means

Day 4 – Whose Voice Do You Believe?

Day 5 – Embracing the Freedom to Fail

Week 9 – Good Grief: From Self-Forgiveness to Self-Acceptance

Day 1 – God, Did It Matter?

Day 2 – Unshakeable Faith Is Faith That Has Been Shaken

Day 3 – Pull Over or Keep On Driving?

Day 4 – Journey of Brokenness

Day 5 – And Darkness Is My Closest Friend

Week 10 – Amazing Grace: The Too-Good-to-Be-True Good News

Day 1 – Make Me Weak

Day 2 – You're My Everything

Day 3 – The Story of Grace

Day 4 – Remember Rahab

Day 5 – I Am Still Righteous

Week 11 – Be Good to You + Be God to You = Loving Who God Loves

Day 1 – Loving God, Show Me the Truth about Myself

Day 2 – Aha-Moments with God

Day 3 – Turtle Tracks

Day 4 – Wrestling with God

Day 5 – Returning to Your First Love

Conclusion

Sources

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Acknowledgments

To God our Father: Thank you, Father, for allowing us to see deeper into your heart. Thank you for those you have brought to The Father's Heart Ministry and for trusting us with each one.

To our clients: Thank you for trusting us with your hearts and your lives. Your healing journeys and your life stories are very precious to us. To our board members, our intercessors, our friends, and our families: Thank you for your love, your prayers, and your ongoing encouragement. We thank God for each one of you.

To our editor, Bob Hartig: It was a blessing to have you working with us again on this project. Your heart for God and your editing ability are a special gift.

And to all who have been utilizing The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself materials—including those who have been facilitating classes and small groups: We are grateful and humbled by the stories of how the Father has met so many of you personally and brought forth more of his healing love. It brings joy to us and to the Father!

INTRODUCTION

Introduction

Welcome to our book, Loving God, Loving Myself: Finding the Father’s Heart in Our Daily Lives. We’re excited that you’ve decided to join us as we share our hearts on this journey.

After reading and working through our initial book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself—How Loving Yourself the Way God Does Can Bring Healing and Freedom to Your Life, many have asked us if we had another resource to help them continue on the road to wholeness. What you have in front of you is our response.

The writings we share in this book are personal to us yet globally relevant to others. Some of you were previously introduced to us through our first book; for others, Loving God, Loving Myself may be your first exposure to our writings. No matter where you are in the healing journey— whether at the beginning, middle, or end—we believe the Father will meet you exactly where you are.

Loving God, Loving Myself is a compilation of fifty-five inspirational readings that correspond with the eleven chapter topics in The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself. However, you need not read these in that order. Each reading stands alone. So while it might also be helpful for you to have previously read our first book, it is not necessary. The one thing that we do recommend is that you take your time reading each of these writings. Allow the Father to sit with you and share his heart with you as you read.

Some of these writings come from the stories of those we have helped along the way (specifics have been changed to protect anonymity). Others come from stories we have read. Still others have come directly from our personal stories. The common element in these writings is story— something we see throughout the Bible, and something that is very important in all of our lives.

Some of the writings are inspirational. Others are informative and instructional to help you better understand yourself and your life story. Some ask questions that invite you to search your heart and seek God for his truth. Others are meant to encourage you that you are not alone on your journey.

The writings are of various lengths—some short, others longer. We hope you will find a nugget of insight in each one, and a time to laugh, to ponder, and to take in a deep breath of the Father’s feelings and his heart for you.

When you come to the prayers we have at the end of each reading, allow them, when possible, to become your prayers. And in all of this, take time to stop, listen, feel, and write down what comes—maybe even to write a letter or two to God or to relevant others. To assist you, we have included a page at the end of every writing for your thoughts and reflections. We believe that approaching the book this way will give you the most benefit as you continue the journey of healing and transformation.

All the Father needs in this process is your willing heart to choose him and receive all he has in his heart for you. He is love, and you are his love. And when you know your identity deep down inside, the revelation of your destiny follows.

So again, welcome. Join us as we travel this road together to be and become all we are meant to be in him. It is our hope and our prayer that you will indeed love God, love yourself, and find more of the Father’s heart in your daily life.

WEEK ONE

LOVE WHAT GOD LOVES

Love What God Loves

There is nothing more important in either the Old or New Testaments of the Bible, in terms of what God asks of us, than to love him and to love others as we love ourselves.

—The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself

In Mark 12:28–31, Jesus is asked which of the commandments is the most important. He replies, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. He continues, The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these. There is nothing more important in either the Old or the New Testaments of the Bible, in terms of what God asks of us, than to love him and to love others as we love ourselves.

We seem to get most of this. We are to love God and we are to love others. But where we, Jerry and Denise, see so many falling short on understanding and living out this teaching is in the area of loving ourselves.

Ask yourself, Do I love others to the same degree or in the same way or manner that I love myself? There is supposed to be no difference. None. And we believe this understanding is missing in great part in the church and in the lives of those who seek to follow Christ. We further believe— based on our own lives and the lives of those we have counseled— that it is not possible to do a good job of keeping the first commandment, loving God, without fulfilling all of the second.

Loving what God loves is the key—and he absolutely loves you.

PRAYER FOR THE JOURNEY

As we begin Week One, pray with us for the Father's loving guidance in the journey ahead:

Father, open my heart and help me see what you want me to see concerning this issue of loving myself. As I begin this journey into my heart, I need to know more of your heart. Help me to see if this commandment has been missing in my life, and if so, help me to find and restore what has been lost or disregarded. You pursue lost things (Luke 15 ), and you pursue me so that I can live from a restored heart. I want to be able to fully love you, myself, and others. I trust you in this journey.

WEEK ONE | DAY ONE

LOVING WHO GOD LOVES

Love Who God Loves

Love what God loves. Hate what God hates. And don't get them mixed up.

—Jerry Basel

As we read and study Scripture, there always seems to be a place that hits home. We have to stop and think, pondering its meaning for our personal lives. Matthew 22:37–39 is a profound and hugely significant example. Asked what the greatest commandment of Scripture is, Jesus replies that it is to love the Lord with everything in us, and that the second commandment, similar to the first, is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

As we love ourselves. Let's pause here a second. If the love I show my neighbor equals the lack of love I have for myself, what does that suggest? I'm thinking that a lot of my neighbors aren't getting much love from me. And Jesus says that everything hangs on these two commandments. Everything.

What does it take to overcome the obstacles to loving ourselves the way God does—a way that frees us to love others fully and freely with his own incredible love?

God reveals his life-giving heart toward us in endless ways, from times spent studying and meditating on his Word to unique moves of the Holy Spirit.

A friend's daughter shared with us her firsthand experience at a college in the Midwest. While she and her fellow students were listening to the teacher and taking notes, suddenly God's presence filled the room. Twelve hours later, they were still in the classroom. The Father was healing their hearts, freeing them from self-hatred, guilt, and shame. And what unfathomable freedom comes when God heals a broken heart!

Our own journey of the heart began in 1995, when we started our counseling ministry, The Father's Heart. It was founded on the first and greatest commandment. We were committed to helping others love God with their whole heart and remove any hindrances—pain, hurt, betrayal, fear, rejection, walls, generational sin, pride, unforgiveness. We said, If people are emotionally healed in our ministry but are not any closer to God when they leave, then we have failed.

Then seventeen years later, Father God turned the page to the second commandment: to love others as we love ourselves. I (Denise) was in the middle of making our bed, minding my own business, when out of nowhere the words dropped into my head: the missing commandment—love yourself. Wow, I could write a book about that! I thought. And over the next several months, Jerry and I did just that.

Maybe today is a new day for you—a new season of learning to love who God made you to be. The true you without all the baggage—the old patterns of relating, the lies, the fortified walls, the mask. Now is a time for you to begin, with God, to sort through the developmental stages of your childhood. You have to go back to your childhood, because what occurred there is the development of you. Doing this takes a vulnerable heart, yielded to the Father, who is truth. He is waiting for your signal to begin the journey. Just say yes. He'll plan the rest.

PRAYER

Father, it is still profoundly good news that Jesus loves me, this I know. It is profoundly good news that, as my loving Father, you desire to heal my self-hatred, self-condemnation, self-contempt, self-rejection, and negative self-talk. I want to come into agreement with who you say I am.

Now look in the