Reframe Your Mindset: Redefine Your Success

By Paul Corke

One thing is certain: we are all conditioned by our life experiences...

Although very fortunate to survive, Paul was unfortunate to be at the Hillsborough Stadium Football Disaster on 15th April 1989, when he was only 18 years old. On that fateful day, 96 fans lost their lives, but it shaped Paul, because he knew he was so lucky to be aliv

• Language: English
• Publisher: Filament Publishing
• Release date: Nov 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781913192716

Paul Corke

Paul Corke is an Author, Leadership Thinker, Mindset Coach, and Speaker specialising in mindset, leadership and organisational development. He is also the Founder of an innovative leadership consultancy, Leadership Architecture. Paul has extensively researched what makes people successful in order to develop Reframe Your Mindset: Redefine Your Success.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts – Marcus Aurelius

Roman Emperor and Philosopher

Welcome to Reframe Your Mindset: Redefine Your Success

The content of this book has been 20 plus years in the making and with those years of research, study, and experience along with living and breathing self-help, personal development, positive psychology, new creative ways of thinking, the different intelligences (EQ, IQ, PQ, SQ) and mindset to be your personal best. I use the phrase psychological intelligence (PsyQ) which for me is the foundation and bedrock of having a positive and proactive mindset. I will explain this in more detail as we explore together how we can take control of our mind, to be the best version of ourselves every day.

No matter who you are and what you do, there is a simple equation to reframe your mindset for success, and if you follow that equation with determination and drive, you can be successful in whatever you choose.

What to expect…

The thought process behind this is to think about your current mental processes and how you can create a mindset to ensure you can be your best. The measure of this will be the ability to do this consistently, so that you get the results you want in your life by making some simple changes to the way you think, how you feel and what you do on a daily basis. We will look at successful people to see what you can learn from them but, more importantly, you will explore tools and techniques that enable you to be exceptional.

The quality of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts, and the consistent action you take in line with those thoughts.

Let me ask you:

How easily do you find your mind running away by itself at times?

How easily does your mind react to situations without thinking?

How easily can negative thoughts enter your mind?

How easy is it for you to think bad of someone first?

How easy is it to not feel in control at times?

We can all sometimes lose control of our own mind, because we have been conditioned to respond through our experiences. Some of us have more control than others, because some of us demonstrate a greater level of awareness and self-control when it comes to different situations that will drive or charge our emotions. But whilst one person can control their emotions, another person is triggered to react with less control (and vice versa).

So, we will consider how we can take total control of our mind to become as effective as we can be, to consistently achieve happiness and our goals in life.

About me…

I have studied philosophy, psychology, selfhelp, mindset, positive psychology, leadership development and behaviour for most of my adult life. I have practised martial arts, learnt Western and Eastern philosophy along with insights from Zen and Kung Fu in particular. I have explored sports science, sports psychology and learnt, from playing sport, the importance of conditioning, self-control, how to control negative thoughts, how to use empowering beliefs, and the concept of ‘playing in the zone’. And I have learnt many lessons in general from the roller coaster of life, from a professional and personal perspective, which have helped to shape the thinking behind this book.

From a professional perspective, I have worked for a range of big financial organisations, specialising in organisational effectiveness, leadership development, employee engagement and coaching. And I have been fortunate to listen to very inspiring speakers who are either ahead of their game, or have achieved greatness, or great things in life.

One thing is certain: we are all conditioned by our life experiences….

That Fateful Day…

Although very fortunate to survive, I was unfortunate to be at the Hillsborough Stadium Football Disaster on 15th April 1989, when I was only 18 years old. You may be aware that 96 fans died in the disaster when Liverpool played Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup Semi Final. It was a beautiful sunny day, and we were all looking forward to a spectacle of football. So, imagine being 18, feeling guilty that you are alive, and the trauma of survivor syndrome at such a young age. But it shaped me, because I knew I was so lucky to be alive and that I had a chance at life.

And that inner resilience and optimism has never left me, because each day I live is one more than those very unlucky people who died. I’m sharing this with you as a deep experience that has shaped who I am, my own personal mindset, and how that significant experience has conditioned me. It has created very deep default settings, both positive and negative, in my life.

The Mindset Equation

Since that day, I have purposely focused on the teachings, lessons, literature, people and experiences that have given me insight into how the mind works and how our mindset makes a difference to our success in life. What I have found is that there is a mindset equation that enables all of us to understand what the secret to success is, and by focusing on these areas we can achieve the same results in our own life.

I hope you find this a very useful way to create the mindset you want in order to be successful in life, and I welcome your feedback and discussion.

Paul Corke

E: [e-mail]

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-corke-59183b49/

T: https://twitter.com/corkepaul

F: https://www.facebook.com/LeadershipArchitect/

PROLOGUE

IT’S ABOUT THE JOURNEY…

Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.

– Yogi Berra

American Professional Baseball Catcher

To begin with, there are a number of themes that run throughout this book that I wanted to share, which are really important when it comes to creating a winning mindset. As Yogi Berra, who was one of the greatest catchers in baseball history, states above, whether it be sport, business or life in general, the importance of mental strength and how mindset is harnessed is critical to success. Yogi was the three-time winner of the American League Most Valuable Player Award, won 10 World Championships as a player, and was renowned for his Yogi-isms. As he said:

There are some people who, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ’em.

So, I’m going to assume you already know the importance of mindset, and I will look to build on the foundation of knowledge you already have, to explore the importance of and focus on using the equation to reframe your mindset.

Your Default Settings

Each person in life is born with some inherent traits wrapped up in their DNA; however, a greater proportion of what we become is shaped by our experience, especially if we allow ourselves ‘to be’. In effect, once we reach adulthood, we have default settings which make us the people we are because our values, beliefs and principles have been shaped by our life to date, and they dictate the way we think and how we act. My personal example of the ‘Hillsborough Disaster’ provides one of my default settings, which is: ‘we only have one life so we should make the most of the life given to us.’

The Hillsborough Disaster was a deep and traumatic experience which, not surprisingly, means I have an embedded fear of crowds; but I also have an optimistic attitude and a love of life, because I see life as a gift. It’s part of my overall view of the world which shapes my mindset, but because it is so deeply ingrained, it is one of my default settings. What we tend to let happen is we allow our default settings to rule our life, which can be a good thing when they are positive, but not so good if they are negative, limiting or not conducive to what we want to achieve.

Your mind has default settings

The great thing is that you can actually choose your default settings at any point, which is what we will explore so that we can consider what is possible to change, what we have control over, and what we need to remove from our system. Yes, if you were a computer you could interpret this as a reboot to ensure the subterranean landscape of your mind has the right default settings for you to maximise your performance every day!

The inner game ….

Tim Gallwey, in his book The Inner Game of Tennis, states two foundations of his methodology:

1. We all have more potential within ourselves than we recognise.

2. We all interfere with the discovery and expression of that potential more than we like to admit.

P (Performance) = P (Potential) – I (Interference)

What is certain is when we let our mind run free, it can quite easily sabotage our goals, hopes and dreams. Our very own self-talk can easily become very negative and we can at times talk to ourselves in a much more negative manner than we would talk to anyone else.

What life has taught me, which you already know, is that the mind is key to our happiness and our success in life. Once again, all of which we have control over. It is that inner game of being in control of our own mind, rather than letting our mind control us, or living ignorant to the fact, thus becoming a victim of our circumstances.

We are made without thinking…

One of the problems we face is if our default settings are negative and we are not aware of them, then we are continually reacting in life without thinking. We are born to win but conditioned to lose; we are made without thinking unless we become aware of how our mind is actually thinking, and how it has been conditioned. We will explore how the mind works and how it is easy to be conditioned by life, from the moment we wake, to the moment we go to sleep. As our mind absorbs everything that is happening around us from birth to adulthood, it is easy to become conditioned by life.

Let’s test the theory…

What is the first thing that comes into your mind when you hear the following words?

1. Cola

2. Burger

3. Mickey

4. Blue

5. Heaven

Some simple words, but I’m guessing there is an immediate picture, or answer, or famous brand that comes straight into your mind. Dependent upon your experience of the words, you may have emotional thoughts or associations. The simple point is that your mind works so fast that you have your answer without even taking time to think, so in essence, by default.

It is already ingrained so deeply in your mind that the answer or reaction becomes automatic. What this means is that you can operate on auto-pilot without expending that much energy, and basically without too much thinking.

The Right answer…

Your mind also operates on universal truths and will search for the logical right answer, because you have been conditioned to find the right answer to questions, puzzles and situations in life. Even if you prefer Pepsi, a lot of people will probably think Coca Cola first, because it is more likely to be the right answer in your mind. It might not be the product you prefer, but your mind will race ahead of you. In effect, we have been rewarded all our life to use the left, logical side of our brain and because we conform with society to ‘fit in’, our mind is conditioned to search for the right answer every day.

Conditioned to lose…

You are conditioned currently to be on one program, one fixed setting, one channel, and we will explore how your mind becomes one of the biggest blocks to your overall success in life, if you let it. In effect, what we are looking to do is to reboot your mind and reset the program, or program we want to play. To be able to do that we need to assess your current program so that we can understand what needs to go, what needs to stay, and begin to reshape the subterranean landscape of your mind. We can then overlay by embedding new programs, and the best way to imagine this is to consider the film The Matrix.

Which program will you choose for your mind?

Re-programming your mind…

The film depicts a future where The Matrix is simulated reality, created by sentient, living machines, with the intention of subduing the human population, while their bodies’ electrical activity is used as an energy source. The main character Neo, a computer programmer, finds out he is in the Matrix and joins the rebellion against the machines. In one scene, he finds out he can load new skills to his mind to enable him to upgrade, reboot who he is, and what he is capable of. This means once loaded, he can be a master in Kung Fu, or learn how to drive a car by uploading the new program.

So, what I am asking you to imagine is that we are literally going to do the same with your mind; we are going to upgrade how you think along with your default settings by installing new programs and ways of thinking, to ensure you are the best version of you, every day.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Choosing your own story…

You literally can create your own story through loading the right type of mindset, and the story of your life that you want to live in advance. You set the program for the day, the month, the year, your life ahead. Whatever story you want your life to be, now is the time to start writing the pages of your very own book of life. Your life so far - and the story that has been written - is now gone, so don’t let the past dictate the future, and don’t let your default settings (where you have limiting beliefs) hold you back. Now is the time to wipe the slate clean, begin with a blank canvas and start with the programs that enable you to live the life you want to live.

The blank canvas…

Here is the opportunity right now: you have a blank canvas for what the rest of your life could be, and you get to choose. And if you get your internal world and subterranean landscape of your mind right, then you will get the effects and required results in your life through consistent and congruent action. What will you choose?

Will you choose to live in a world without dreams? Or a world without being who you want to be? One where you settle for second best - or do you want to break free and become all you can be? It’s an easy choice, right?

Maybe for some, maybe not for others, but for now let’s focus on this: if you had a blank canvas right now for your life, what would you want to do, and who is it you would want to be?

And here is one of the biggest pieces of advice you will have heard before…

Do what you love

In a recent Gallup Study, 50 per cent of the workforce interviewed said they were not engaged, and 20 per cent were totally disengaged. It is generally easy to point the finger at what the corporation are doing, but you also have to ask the question: what is the individual doing? When you decide what and who you would want to be, make sure you base it on doing something you love, something you are passionate about, you enjoy, you are enthused and excited by, because then you already have the rocket fuel to make things happen in your life and to be the person you want to be. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to go to work when you can choose to do what you love.

Born to win…with passion

So, although we may be conditioned by life to lose, we are born to win if we choose to be passionate about what we do with our life. And passion is absolutely key to ensure you stay motivated and energised by what you do, who you are, and where you are going in life. How many really successful people have been successful by not doing what they love? We naturally tend to