Betrayed: Book 2 of The Obsessed series

By Tonya Young

Sophie has spent 2 years in fear and trying with every part of her being to hide it. Now the walls are beginning to close in on her ever so slowly. She knows that soon things will come to a head and she will be forced to fight. To make matters worse she still can't shake the pictures in her head that replay of Noel's murder. As if she doesn't have enough on her mind she still has love in her heart for Ronin. She's doing everything in her power to be the good girl that Jack thinks she can be. But reality forces Sophie to face the fact that Taryn will never give up on the idea of having her and their sons back in his life.
When Taryn murders another of Sophie's loved ones just to prove a point, it brings out the bad girl that she tried to control. And now that she's unleashed, murder and revenge are what she's after, and no amount of coaxing from Jack can keep Sophie from acting impulsively.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781667171081

Book preview

Betrayed

Book 2 of the Obsessed series

Betrayed

Book 2 of The Obsessed series

Tonya Young

Copyright

Copyright © 2021 by Tonya Young

All rights reserved.  No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including  photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief questions embodied in critical articles and review.

This is a work of fiction.  All of the characteers, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used ficticiously. 

Novel may be ordered through online bookstores, LuLu Publishing or by contacting the author at [e-mail] Instagram  writer_forlife8948

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longr be valid.  The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not neccesarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them. 

ISBN:  978-1-6671-7108-1

Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1    Breathe

Chapter 2    No peace for the weary

Chapter 3    Deeper

Chapter 4    And the devil strikes again

Chapter 5    Revenge

Chapter 6    Taken

Chapter 7    Lost

Chapter 8    Reeling in my prey

Chapter 9    Complicated

Chapter 10  Surprises

Chapter 11  Quiet storm

Chapter 12  Wishing for freedom

Chapter 13  Diamonds

Chapter 14  My heart belongs to another

Chapter 15  Still resisting

Chapter 16  Freedom

Chapter 17  Daydreaming of him

Chapter 18  A slow Death

Chapter 19  Envy and pain

Chapter 20  Secrets

Chapter 21  The burn of love

Chapter 22  Pain and love

Chapter 23  New love

Chapter 24  Sister of my enemy

Chapter 25  Losing

Chapter 26  My enemy my love 

Chapter 27  Chained heart

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my loving children who have always been an inspiration in my life. I love you guys (Alexander, Aliyah, and Anson), as well as those who are struggling to deal with the trials and tribulations that life have brought your way.  Just remember that God is able to heal all wounds. 

    Writing has been such a doorway to a peaceful existence for me.  My world is complete.  Between my lovely family and my art, God has truly blessed me.  I could not begin to ask Him for more. 

Acknowledgements

I want to first Thank my Heavenly Father. Without God nothing is possible, but with God, All Things Are Possible.  My children have always been my driving force, and that will never change.  I do the things that I do, in hopes of helping them to reach their goals.  I want to be their inspiration, their motivation, and their muse.  I want them to see their mother striving to be the best, and I want them to see that everything is possible if they pray, and believe in themselves.  My babies are my muse.  My reasons for writing.  My reason for the striving to become the best author, photographer and designer possible.  Most of all, they are my inspiration to becoming a better person.   

Tonya Young

Description: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/87/Quill_pen.PNG

Breathe

I awoke drenched in sweat again last night.  I haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep in years.  Every night the nightmares are the same.  They begin with me dreaming of Ronin.  I see him so clearly that it's difficult to believe that it isn't real.  His face is crystal clear.  His kiss is soft, wet, and gentle.  I even feel the softness of his curly locks as I stroke his hair.  In those dreams, he hasn't changed one bit.  He's still the same tall, beautiful creature that he was on the day that we kissed each other goodbye.  Just as quickly as he had appeared, he is gone again.  A second form appears and I see that it is Noel.  There are tears coming from my eyes and he is brushing my cheek lightly, brushing the tears away.  He pulls me into his arms and I think to myself how lucky I was to have found love again after Ronin.  Then it begins—the nightmare.  The two men that I had clung to, depended on and loved, are both ripped from my life.  Images of, Ronin’s body, mangled and torn from the plane crash flash quickly through my mind.  I try to wake, but the nightmare isn't finished with me yet.  I find myself reliving Noel's last moments.  I'm kneeling before him, begging for his life.  I'm apologizing for being such a horrible wife.  I'm apologizing for not loving him enough.  There's a flash, then there's the wetness of his blood covering my face hands, and body. 

    That is how my morning started.  That is how every morning starts for me.  Memories of the past visit me faithfully every night.  My subconscious never seems to allow me to forget. My heart is wounded by the decisions that I have made in the past.  My body is weary because those memories won't allow me to rest at night.  I fear that I will never find happiness like that with another person.  And I also fear that I will.  Two men had loved me with all that they had, and their payment for loving me had been death.  There was no way that I'd place someone else in that type of danger.  Loving me was a curse.  Nothing good came from it.  Nothing good ever would. 

    I’ve had enough of running.  I’ve had enough of hiding behind my security detail.  I’ve had enough.  There comes a time in your life when you have to stop running and hiding.  There comes a time in your life when you have to stop, face your enemies head on, and fight your way to freedom. 

    If you’ve been following my story, you know that I barely escaped death, at the hands of Taryn and Darryl.  I hadn’t expected to still be here, but being pregnant with Taryn’s child had been my saving grace.  That child was the only reason that he let me live.  He had already taken everything else from me.  He ordered the murder of my husband and forced me to watch him die.  He ordered my execution, but the thought of becoming a father had changed his mind. 

    The battle that ensued that day changed my life forever.  I’m still the girl that I once was, but I’m tamed now.  My children have placed me on a path to becoming a better person.  I want peace now.  But in my heart, I know that Taryn will never allow me to live in peace.  He’ll keep coming for me, until one of us is dead.

    Let me back up and take you back to where I left off before.  I sometimes think back on my past, and I get carried away.

***

There was something beyond the stars and I now knew that.  It was a strong force.  A driving force that had stripped me bare, and had taken the two loves of my life, and my first son away from me.  Sometimes I believe that the man upstairs took them from me to teach me that the only one in charge was Him.  But He had done something miraculous for me.  He had kept my children alive through the storms, and had spared my life so that I could continue on for my sons. 

God had also brought someone into my life that I would cherish always—someone that I would always trust with my life.  Jack.

My relationship with Jack had turned into something that I could not quite comprehend.  It had grown immensely over the past four years.  He had been there for me when I felt that I could no longer go on living.  He had been in my corner, pushing me, reminding me every day, and every night that I had to continue to breathe, if not for myself then for my sons.  It had taken me a full two years after the birth of Ainsley for me to fully open up to Jack and disclose all of the secrets of my past, the secrets that had led us to where we were.  Those very secrets that had led me to kill Ronald, Cathy, Darien, and had guided me into giving the order to have Amina killed.  Those secrets from my past were haunting me.  Those secrets meant that I would one day have to kill again. 

Jack had turned out to be more than amazing for our lives.  He was everything that I needed.  The perfect shoulder to cry own.  The perfect sounding board when I needed to unload.  It was because of Jack that I had not gone back to visit Eve, the psychologist that Casey had taken me to see years ago.  He could never take Ronin, nor Noel’s place in my life, but he had stepped in when I needed him, and had become my best friend. 

  Unlike Charity and Maria, Jack refrained from treating me as if I were a delicate flower which would break at any moment.  Although Noel’s death had broken my heart, and had taken a huge toll on me, Jack made it better.  He made it possible for me to do just what I had promised Noel that I would do.  Be strong and take care of our sons at all costs.

It wasn’t easy for Charity and Maria either.  Charity had witnessed the man that she had grown up with, brutally murdered in front of her eyes, and was dealing with it in her own way.  She had remained with us in order to be closer to her brother’s children.  Helping me to raise our babies was Charity’s way of coping with her loss.  Ty, Alex, and Noel Jr. were the spitting images of their father, so to her, well actually to all of us, it was as close to having Noel back as we could get.  Spending her days with them seemed to be soothing her soul, and somehow helped to make her whole again. 

Maria would never leave my side.  She had loved me as if I were her own daughter since I was a little girl.  She felt more responsible for me and my life than my biological mother did.  Maria had turned out to be more of a rock than I had ever imagined she would be.  I had always thought that she had that tough outer layer, but was a softy on the inside.  Come to find out, she is tough inside and out.  She was helping us to raise my sons just as she had helped to raise me, never complaining. 

Raising my boys was like that old African proverb, "it takes a village".  It literally took a village to raise my children.  From Jack, Charity, Maria to myself, we all took part in raising them.  Not having a father would eventually take its toll on them, but for now, they were so young that we all just wanted to shower them with love and as much fun as we could.  Everyone knew that the time would come where we, as a family would have to sit down with them and explain to them the events that had taken place on the day that their father had died.  For now, the boys saw pictures of their dad and only knew that he was in Heaven waiting for all of us. 

Although I now believed in God, I still had doubts that I would ever make it to heaven.  I had done too much to be forgiven for all of it.  The sad part about it was that I had done so much dirt in my lifetime, and yet there was still more that I would do.  For my kid’s sake, I knew that I would need to turn my entire life over to God, yet I had things to do first.  Things that I would one day have to ask God’s forgiveness for.  Things that I was unsure that He would forgive. 

There were people who had to feel the sting that came along with betrayal—those who would eventually feel my wrath.

I could not be a hypocrite and give my whole heart to God when I knew that I would have to kill again. 

My prayer was interrupted by a noise from behind.  I turned, expecting to see Jack staring at me with a smile on his face, but finding Maria instead, standing in my doorway watching me as she always did when she witnessed me praying….in total shock.  Her disbelief and shock that I was now a believer wasn’t in the least bit weird to me.  Before Noel died, no one would have been able to convince me that there was something out there that was making this world go around.  I had started to believe when I gave birth to the twins, but it was Noel’s death that had completely turned my life around and made me into a believer. 

Taking in a deep breath, I stood, took in another deep breath then took a seat on the edge of my bed.  I allowed my arms to lay limp at my sides as I turned to look at the wedding picture that sat on my nightstand.  Directly after his funeral I had placed that photo on the nightstand. That photo of the two of us had rocked me to sleep many nights since my husband was murdered. 

You do know that you can’t go on like this, don’t you.  It isn’t healthy for you or for the babies, Maria started in.

What do you suggest that I do, Maria, I asked still not diverting my eyes from Noels smiling face in the photo? 

Why do you believe that Jack has stuck around for all of these years?

I hated when people answered a question with a question.  Jack is still here because he loves us.  Either that or the man has a serious death wish.

You can continue to lie to yourself if you wish Sophie, but you aren’t blind.

Jack’s feelings for me were complicated for both of us.  He loved me.  I knew it, he knew, hell everyone knew it.  But it was a difficult type of love—a love that would change us both dramatically if we were to place ourselves into the crosshairs of cupid and risk falling in love.  Lord knows I wanted to love again, but how could I fall in love and give my all to Jack, or any other man, if I was still in love with two dead men?

No one seemed to understand that falling in love was something that I truly believed was unattainable for me.  I had found love, not once, but twice, in one lifetime.  And in both cases, I had lost love.  Had my loves torn from my life so abruptly that now, I was afraid of ever giving my heart to another.

Maria, the night that I watched my husband die was more than I could handle.  I still feel his blood splattering across my face.  I still see my husband dying right before my very eyes.  I don’t ever want to love another man like that again.  Not to mention losing Ronin.  Don’t you get it?  Loving that deeply hurts more when they’re ripped from your life the way that Ronin and Noel were ripped from mine.

So your answer is to be alone for the rest of your life?

I laughed through the tears that were coming, through the lump that was forming in my throat.  I am far from being alone.  Look around this house.  There is always the noise of children’s laughter, and play.  I’ll never be alone.

I must not have been so great at hiding my feelings after all.  Maybe she could see clearly what was in my heart for Jack.  I had grown to love him, but I wasn’t ready to take that leap again.  I did not want Jack to be a distraction only.  He deserved to be happy with a woman who would give him her all, and I wasn’t ready to give anything to anyone.  Not just yet.  If I broke his heart, I would never be able to live with myself.  Taking a dip into the Jack pool could not only ruin the friendship that I so desperately clung to, but could possibly cost us our lives. 

Love tends to blind people, and we could not afford to be blinded by love.  Taryn and Darryl would come, and they would not be gentle.  Anyone that I loved could lose their lives. 

It isn’t the same.  Those babies love Jack, and he loves them.  They need a father.  You know firsthand what it’s like not to have a father, so if Jack is here, ready and willing to love you and your kids.  Take that love and run with it.  You can’t be afraid to love forever, Sophie.

It makes perfectly good sense for me to be afraid to love someone else.  Every man that I have loved has died.  Maybe Jack really does have a death wish.  He knows my track record, and he still loves me.

You’re not some black widow.  You’re a woman who has had some bad luck with love.

You call what I have been through bad luck when it comes to love?  It isn’t bad luck, Maria.  The shit is just tragic if you ask me!  Ronin is dead!  Noel is dead!  How can I ever love someone like that again?

You already do love someone else that way.  You’re just too afraid to let go of your fears.

She was right but I wasn’t ready to face it.  The timing was all wrong.  Jack and I would have to wait until the war with Taryn and Darryl was over before we could even give falling in love a second thought.  Taryn had proved that any man who took his place in my life would be sentenced to death.  He’d never allow me to be happy with Jack.  Taryn would kill him if there was ever a sign that I was in love with him. 

That was not a risk that I was willing to take.

Sitting the picture that was taken on one of the happiest days of my life back in its resting place, I glanced up into Maria’s eyes and saw the love and sorrow there.  She had weathered the storms with me.  She had witnessed my chaotic childhood.  She had been there when my husband was murdered.  My nightmares were here nightmares.  We shared a bond that would never be broken.

I’m going to go lay your boy’s down for a nap.  You look like you could use some rest as well.  Go to sleep.

You don’t quite get it do you, Maria?  I won’t be able to sleep until Taryn and Darryl are dead.  One false move and I’ll be watching as Taryn walks away with my son.  No sleep for this mommy until the boogey man is dead.

This house is protected like Fort Knox.  Jack is here and willing to lay down his life to keep you and those babies safe.  Let someone else take care of you.  Get some sleep, Sophie, she ordered and turned to exit my bedroom. 

Continuing to sit on the edge of my bed I struggled with wanting to pick up my wedding picture.  If I touched it I would surrender to the pain once more.  I’d surrender to the tears that were just behind my eyelids waiting for me to break down so that they could be set free.  Being strong was not easy for me anymore.  Taryn and Darryl had managed to break a small part of me that had kept me from feeling for so long.  Now, I felt everything.

It was those newfound feelings that kept me plotting and scheming.  They kept me on guard at all times.  I was ready for any and everything.

I placed my hand over my heart and thought about the men that I had lost along the way.  I’d never love that way again.  Each man had held a special place in my heart that would always belong to them.  No one would ever be able to take their places in my heart.  Only those who referred to me as mommy meant more to me than Ronin and Noel. 

I couldn’t stop them.  The tears came hard. 

Lying backward onto my bed, I closed my eyes and allowed the tears to flow freely from my eyes to my cheeks, on down to my ears. 

So much loss. 

I slowly drifted off to another place – a place where I still feared for the lives of my children. 

***

I watched my children as they slept peacefully in their toddler beds.  They snored lightly without a care in the world.  I prayed for that peace to last a lifetime for them.  I would not train my boys as I had been trained.  They would never know the feel of a blade in between their fingers.  They’d never know the security of holding your own gun.  Not as long as I breathed. 

    Tiptoeing into their bedrooms, I planted kisses on each of their cheeks.  I stopped at Ty’s bed and wondered sadly if I would ever have to fess up and admit to him that I had given the order to have his mother killed.  If I would ever have to admit to him that I was not his biological mother.   

    I kissed him twice.

    Dragging myself through the huge house wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a bikini top, I planned on taking a swim in the pool.  We had moved into the house two short months after my husband’s death ands it was slowly beginning to feel like home.  Jack had picked it out for me, and had managed to get exactly what I wanted.  It was nothing like the home that Noel and I had shared together and I was thankful for that. 

    I had spent many sleepless nights in the house since we first moved in.  So many that I now knew my home as well as I had known my childhood home.  In the darkness, I traveled down the staircase, through the house from room to room with ease, until I reached the doors which led to the pool. 

    It was early May and the weather was magnificent.  At ten thirty at night the temperature was seventy six degrees, but with the wind blowing mildly it felt more like seventy.  I tilted my head back and drunk in the cool night air.  It was great weather for a swim and the pool was calling my name.  Looking over the pool and thinking about skinny dipping, I wondered what life would have been like if Noel was still alive.  If he were standing there looking down at the crystal clear water in the pool with me.  Would we take a swim together, make love in the pool, or never make it into the pool because we couldn’t keep our hands off of one another?  Those were all questions that would go unanswered.

    There was absolutely no privacy.  There were men posted up on the far end of the gates in the back of the house.  There was also a man who was not far from the pool.  He was walking back and forth speaking intensely to someone on the other end of his walkie-talkie.  There were four more men twenty or so yards from where he was pacing, and several more roaming the grounds. Not to count the men who were guarding the front gate and doors.  A small army guarded my family.  Yet, I still remained on guard at all times. 

    The men who guarded my home with their lives knew the reputation of Taryn, and Darryl, but I knew Taryn and Darryl personally.  I knew firsthand that their reputations didn’t even begin to give an idea to those poor unsuspecting souls, of just how dangerous and evil the two of them were. 

      Deciding that their presence wouldn’t keep me from a late night swim, I removed the shorts that I wore over the bikini bottoms.  None of them gave me a second glance.  They were aware of my every move but they never gawked or behaved as if seeing a woman in a bathing suit was anything special to them.  I smiled inwardly over the fact that I had no effect on those men.  They were willing to kill and even die for me, and yet none of them wanted to sneak a peak of me in my bathing suit.  I was impressed.

      I was wondering how long it would take for you to come out.  You’re late tonight, said a deep voice in the dark. 

      Jack was sitting on the swing watching me as I watched the men who had sworn that they would protect my son’s with their lives.  His warm smile drew me to him.  I put the thought of my nightly swim on hold and took a seat on the swing next to Jack. 

    Most nights he would watch me from a distance as I swam a few laps.  Others, he’d sat on the swing and wait for me to come out for my swim.  It was those nights that I never got around to swimming.  We would usually sit up for hours talking about everything except for the danger that I had brought upon my family. 

        I sat on the porch swing next to Jack, and rested my head on his shoulder.  Moments passed by without a word being uttered.  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and planted his cheek on my head.  We had those small intimate moments that would never lead to anything more serious.  Not while there was an inkling of a chance that loving me would cost him his life.     

    Nothing about being close to Jack felt weird for me.  It had taken many months after Noel’s death for me to feel like it was okay to even allow Jack to comfort me, but eventually I opened up to Jack in ways that I somehow couldn’t manage with anyone else.  He made me feel secure enough to let my guard down.  Secure enough to cry on his strong shoulders without feeling weak.       

    Four long, tough years after Noel’s death and I was still mourning the man, which meant that although I could see the love in Jacks eyes when he looked at me, and felt it in his touch, we both held back.  Never making a move on the other, and I loved that about him.  I loved the fact that he loved me enough to give me time. 

    The sexual energy that had grown between us over the past few years was strong but yet we both had held back.

4 years prior

Jack placed his hand over my belly and felt the movement of another man’s baby.  There was a smile on his handsome face, and no judgment in his eyes.  We had been together every moment of every day since I was discharged from the hospital.  He had been afraid of losing me.  After witnessing my husband’s death, I had been suicidal. Only my love for my sons and the constant support from Jack, kept my heart beating. Without them, I would have given up. 

    Jack led me around like a child, treating me as if I were a fragile creature, incapable of protecting myself.  He was right to remain so close to me.  I hadn’t quite made sense of my new life.  Months had passed but I was still holding on to life as it had been with Noel.

    I felt momentarily disoriented.  Thinking of Noel was often like having an out of body experience.  I could see us together as if he was still alive, and I ached from that loss.  My heart ached from all of the loss that I had suffered— Harper, Ronin, Noel, nana, Amina, and Avanti.  All were great losses in my life.  Each one had meant something special in my life.  There were so many memories of them all that still swarmed freely through my mind.  There earthly forms were gone but their spirits, the love shared with them, and precious memories with them, would live on in my heart forever. 

    I had expected for each day that passed to ease the pain, but it hadn’t.  The pain in my heart and the emptiness in the pit of my stomach grew worse with each passing day.  I had hoped for peace to find me, but each day as reality set in, it was only anxiousness that greeted me.  I was a mess.  I was desperate and still stunned by the circumstances that surrounded Noel’s tragic death that.  I blamed myself for his death and I always would.  Falling in love with me had caused his untimely demise.  From the moment that Taryn met Noel, he had not planned on letting him live. 

    I missed Noel terribly, but according to Jack, I was a survivor.  And as a survivor, I owed it to Noel to continue on with my life.  I owed it to Noel and our children, to carry on his memory, if nothing else but to ensure that his sons never forget their father. 

    Snuggling closer into Jack’s arms, I closed my eyes.  They closed and I saw my Noel’s face as clearly as I had on the day that I lost him.  Yes, we had our ups and downs, but we had been an incredible team.  There were never boring moments with him.  We loved, played and fought hard.  Our lives together were cut short way too soon.  The rug had been pulled out from under us during the prime of our marriage.  Hot anger rose within me as I thought of the love that was lost when he was murdered.  We had literally been cheated out of our lives together.  Life had not been kind to us.  I was sad, worn thin, yet the tiny little human that grew inside of me pushed me to live.  My twins and Ty were more reason than any for me to continue on.  So that is what I was doing— continuing on for my children.

    I dreamt of my past life often.  I would go on living, but I would never forget what I had lot.  My career had been everything to me, and yet my love for my husband had steered me in the direction of becoming a housewife. I had loved Noel.  I still loved Noel, and always would.  I would always cherish his memory and the time that I had with him.  Albeit short, it was an amazing time in my life, one that I would always hold close to my heart. 

    My only regret was that the child in my womb did not belong to my late husband.  I had made love with both Noel and Taryn, but unfortunately, I had used protection with the wrong man.  Noel and I had decided that we would wait another year or so before we had more children, so we were taking precautions to ensure that no accidental pregnancies happened. 

    I quickly shook that thought off in an attempt at forgetting how careless I had been.  I sat up and placed my hand over Jack’s.  He is anxious to get out of there, I mused.

    Just like his mother, impatient as hell.

    I never should have admitted that the baby is his.  I should have known that you would never have let anything happen to me.  If I hadn’t opened my big mouth….. my voice trailed off.  Regret is a horrible feeling.

    You place the blame of the world on your own shoulders, and you don’t deserve that.

    ‘Since you know everything, tell me Jack, what do I deserve?"

    You deserve to have it all, Sophie—all of the peace and love that life has to offer.  It’s going to take time, but one night you’ll lay down next to someone that you love, and the image that you see of Noel’s last moments on earth, won’t haunt you.

    I don’t see myself ever falling in love again.  I’ve had something very special with two men and I’ve lost them both.  I’m not even twenty five years old and I’ve already loved, and lost love twice.  I never want to do that again.  I never want to put another person in jeopardy of losing their lives, simply because they love me.

    You will fall in love again, Sophie.  You can’t allow your fear of Taryn to dictate whether or not you have someone special in your life.

    Don’t get my anger mixed up with fear.  Taryn would have killed Ronin if he hadn’t died in that plane crash.  He will never face the fact that I’m not with him.  He’ll never sit on the sidelines and watch as I live my life happily with another man.

    I’m always going to be here for you.  Feel free to live, Sophie.  Feel free to love.

    You don’t understand, Jack.  Taryn has been dictating every moment of my life since Elina married him.  He thinks that he owns me.  And now that I’m pregnant with his son, he does own me.  He’ll never stop until he gets his son.

    I will never let him have you, Sophie.  Never.

    He has always wanted a child of his own.  His wife, my idiot of a mother, will never be able to give him a child.  He will never like this child exist in this world without him.

    You give Taryn too much power.  He’s a dangerous man, but he can be beat.  We’ve beat him once.  It can happen again.

    He would have killed us both if it weren’t for this baby.  He won’t live without his son.

    And I won’t live without you.  Do you trust me, Sophie?

    Of course.

    Why do you sit out here every night waiting for me, I asked, already knowing the answer but curious as to what his reply would be?

    Now that the boys are older it’s not so easy for us to have moments like this.  He sighed and pulled me into him closer.  And I think that you need this time as much as I do.

    He was right.  There had been many moments such as that one, where we would sit out by the pool in the middle of the night, my head on his shoulder, as I wept the night away.  Slowly I had moved from crying on his shoulder every night to talking to him about my heartache and my fears. 

    I probably would have died right there next to Noel if it weren’t for you and my babies.  You and those boys saved my life.

    No, it was your will to survive for your son’s that kept you alive, Sophie.  You’re different now, but you’re stronger.

    You’re wrong.  I’m much weaker than I was before.  When I didn’t fear death I was so much stronger.  Now that I fear dying I’m more cautious about my actions.

    That isn’t a bad thing, Sophie.  You’re not nearly as reckless as you used to be.  The fact that you think before you react now, will be the reason that we come out of this thing on top.

    Through the seriousness of the conversation, I still found some humor.  I snickered and nuzzled closer to him.  I sort of miss the old me.  The go in with guns blazing Sophie—the girl who didn’t think before she pulled the trigger.

    His laughter was music to my ears.  He laughed so little those days.  Immediately I felt at ease.  A sense of calm always came over me just from his presence.  His laughter was like music in my ears that automatically uplifted me.  That girl almost got me killed several times!  I think we can leave her behind. 

    Sitting up, I placed my legs under my behind and stared directly into his eyes.  I waved a hand at the security that was surrounding the house.  Is this going to be enough to keep me from having to turn back into the girl that I used to be, I mumbled?

    His fingers stroked my chin lightly.  His smile was wiped away.  When I promised to protect you with my own life that was a promise that I plan to keep until the day that I die.  These men out here are the best at what they do.  Years of protecting you and the boys, has hardened their hearts to anyone who wishes you harm.  They play with your boys, talk to them, and they have grown to care for them.  His fingers stroked my cheek as lightly as they had stroked my chin. With his other hand he gestured toward the men.  Yes, I know that this will be enough to protect you, and to keep you from having to ever get those pretty hands dirty again.

    A deep breath escaped my lungs as I prayed that Jack was right.  We would need the strength of this army of men to keep Taryn and Darryl from tearing through the gates and taking my son.

    Why did you stay, I asked, once again knowing the answer to the question, but wanting to hear him say it?

    Moving in closer, he traced the contours of my neck with his finger.  We both know why I haven’t packed up and left, Sophie.  Yes, I made you a promise to see you through this thing, but somehow things got a lot deeper than that.  When I saw you lying on the floor lifeless, I thought that I’d lost you.  That’s when I realized that my feelings for you were growing into something more.  He ran his fingers through my unruly hair with one hand and rubbed my cheek gently with the other, with his eyes filled with compassion.  When my guys rushed into that house all I cared about was getting you out of there alive.

    Jack had sat by my bedside in the hospital until I recovered from my injuries.  He had refused to leave my side, even refusing to let anyone close to me until I had been nursed back to health.  Deep in my heart I knew that eventually I would give in to what was between us. 

***

    The phone call in the middle of the night didn’t do what the caller had expected that it would.  He expected for me to be shaken when I heard his voice through the receiver.  I had been expecting that phone call every day since the day that I had given birth to Ainsley.  I knew that he was out there watching and waiting.  Waiting for me to make a mistake, so that he could come like a thief in the night, and take our son from his bed. 

    I had something that he wanted.  Something that he believed belonged to him, so I always knew that our paths would one day cross.

    It was a little bit after two in the morning, and I was still sitting up in my bed alone.  Pictures of Ronin and Noel were strewn across my bed.  I was still mourning both of them.  Maybe Maria was right about my needing to fall in love again.  Staring at photos of the two men that were both dead, every night, was not going to help me through the process of moving on. 

    I held a photo of Ronin in one hand and a photo of Noel in the other.  So different but yet they both held a spot in my heart that could never be replaced.  There had been a time when I had thought that I would never love another as much as I had loved Ronin.  It took a while, but Noel had finally broken down the barriers that were in place, keeping me from loving him or anyone else in the way that I loved Ronin. 

    The ringing of my cell caught me off guard.  No one had called me at two o’clock in the morning since Noel had been on call at the hospital. 

    I had failed my husband and perhaps I had even failed my children.  I lost a husband that night, but my boys had no father because of the decisions that I made—the decisions that cost my husband his life.  There was no good explanation for me to give to my children when the time came for me to tell them that I had an instrumental role in Noel’s murder.  If I had not allowed my pride to get in the way, Noel may still be with us.  If I had not gone after Darien and Cathy, and had not murdered them both, Noel would still be alive.  So many ifs.  So many.

    For all of the mistakes that I had made in my life, those that were made which had led to Darryl murdering my husband were the ones that stuck with me.  Those were the mistakes that would not allow me to sleep at night. 

    I placed the photos of the two men that I had lost onto my bed, and picked up my cell.  Unknown caller.  My heart immediately began to thump in my chest.  Somehow I knew.  My peace of mind was about to be shattered. 

    The devil had found me.

    Hello.  Sounding confident and strong because I had been expecting the call for years, I sat patiently and waited for him to speak.

    Breathing….more breathing…..  It’s been four years since I’ve heard your voice.  I’ve missed you Sophie. 

    Knowing in my mind that I couldn’t remain hidden forever, but yet not quite ready for that moment, my mind began to race.  Not sure of whether or not to wake Jack, or to handle Taryn on my own, I continued to sit silently in the middle of the photos of the men that had died because of their love for me.

    Taryn had once said that I was the only woman for him.  I was the only woman that he would ever love.  Even with all of that love for me flowing through his veins, he still gave the order to have me killed. 

    Silence?  That is new for you.  How is our son, he asked?

    He is my son.  You have no rights to him.  None!

    I beg to differ my love.  You gambled with the wrong man, Sophie.  I want my son.

    Come get him.

    Still a little spit fire, huh?

    Nothing about me has changed, Taryn.  You come after my son, and I will kill you.

    Why don’t we call it even?  You killed my brother, and in return, I had your husband killed.  Let’s move on now.

    Move on?  You killed the father of my children, and you want me to move on and forgive you as if none of that took place?  You were going to have me killed until you found out that I was pregnant!

    Pregnant with my son, yes, that was the deciding factor.  You played a good hand.

    I was taught by the best.

    Yes, you were.  How have you been, Sophie?

    I’ve been a widow for the past four years.  How do you think I’ve been?

    You’re blaming the wrong man for your loss.  If you had not murdered your own family, your husband would still be alive.

    Darien deserved to die for what he did.  He took my son.  There was nothing else that I could have done.

    He gave your son back to you.  Instead of living your life happily with your husband, you went in search of Darien, and you murdered him.  Did you really think that I could let you get away with that?

    You and I have both suffered a loss.

    I lost my brother and you lost your husband, but you have my son.

    I’ll never let you have him, and you know this.

    I have a proposition for you.

    A proposition?

    Yes, a proposition.  First, I want to apologize for the death of your husband.  I’m not saying that if I had it to do over, I would not have killed him, because I would have.  I’ve loved you for so long, Sophie.  I would have done anything for you—anything to be with you.  So yes, no matter what, Noel was going to die.  He had the one thing that I needed, more than I needed to breathe.

    He was still a piece of work.  Even his apologies weren’t sincere.  He wasn’t sorry for having my husband murdered.  He was sorry because I knew that he was behind it. 

    Do you want your money back?  I can survive without the money.

    The money is yours.  Hell, Sophie, half of my organization is still yours.  Come back and run it with me.  We can raise our son together.

    Slumping over I rested my elbows on my knees trying desperately to keep my composure.  Raise our son together?  Are you fucking out of your mind?

    This is the only time that I will offer you this deal.  If you say no, I will come after my son, and take him.  And if you get in my way Sophie, I will kill you.

    People have underestimated me in the past, and they have not lived to tell about it.

    You can either, live with me and raise our son, or you can die trying to keep me from having him.  Your choice.

    An emotional breakdown was coming on.  If it’s a war that you want Taryn, come get him.

    I disconnected the call. 

    If I were smart, I would have been afraid.  Instead, I placed my hands together, lowered my head and I prayed.  I had to ask God in advance for forgiveness for the horrific acts that I was going to partake, all in the name of keeping all of my children safe.  I had come a long way from the nonbeliever that I had once been.  I was once a girl that felt no guilt, no remorse whatsoever.  Now I was a woman who felt guilt for the unspeakable crimes that I was planning to commit to keep my boys safe.  To keep Ainsley from being taken from me I’d murder thousands, so killing Taryn and Darryl would be a cake walk.   

    I reached into my nightstand and pulled my 380 from the bottom drawer.  Taryn knew that I would never back down and hand my son over to him. 

    The war had begun. 

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No peace for the weary

Saying goodbye to my children was hard.  I only went into the office once a month, but that one day every month, was hard for me.  I trusted no one but Jack and I to protect my boys, so leaving them, even with what seemed like an army of men surrounding my home, still didn’t settle my nerves. 

    I walked into their play room and gazed lovingly at them as they rough housed, laughed freely, and played with their toys.  They were so close.  I couldn’t imagine Taryn storming in and attempting to separate them.  The scent of freshly brewed coffee caught my attention.  Over my shoulder stood Maria, holding a two coffee cups in her hands.  She smiled and offered me one of the mugs and graciously accepted.  Maria was by far the best cook ever, and her talents didn’t stop there.  She also brewed a better cup of coffee than Starbucks.  I held the warm mug in my hands, took a deep sniff, blew lightly over the liquid, and took my first sip.  I gave Maria the thumbs up and watched a beautiful smile spread across her face. 

    My attention went back to my boys.  I dreaded saying goodbye to them.  They loved Maria but they had gotten so accustomed to having me at home with them, that my leaving scared them.  They wanted Jack and me at their disposal twenty four hours a day.  That thought brought a smile to my face.  That type of love was all that I had ever wanted.  No one would ever love me as much as my sons loved me.  They also shared something special with Jack.  We never lead them to believe that Jack was their father.  They knew the truth.  Well, most of it.  They knew that Noel was their father.  They were also aware that he was in heaven, but they would never know how he got there.  They viewed Jack as an uncle, someone that was always there when needed, someone who would do anything in his power to make them all happy.  Their love for him made me happy.  Noel would have been happy to know that Jack was helping to raise our boys. 

  They were so engrossed in playing that they hadn’t noticed that Maria and I were watching them.  They amazed me.  They all had their own roles.  Ty was the oldest and the twins and Ainsley automatically respected him and followed him.  But the twins had a relationship of their own that shocked us all.  From their own little language, to the way that at times the two of them would part from the other boys and they would have their own private moments.  Ainsley was the baby and that was his role.  The other boys carried him around the house like he was an infant, and when they weren’t doing that, they were teasing him.  He was my little odd ball.  He was the only one of the three who did not have Noel’s blood running through his veins.  That fact changed nothing.  He was mine and nothing could ever change that.  There were so many secrets that would one day have to be addressed.  From the truth of who Ainsley’s father really was, to the truth of where Ty came from and what had become of his biological mother. 

    Another sip from the mug was my way of stalling.  I had to tell them goodbye but dreaded the moment.  With my lip poked out, I handed my mug to Maria and made my way to the center of the room.  I took a seat in the middle of the floor and broke out into laughter as my boys bum rushed me with hugs.  They were so intuitive.  I was in full makeup, and work attire, so they immediately knew what was going on.

    Where are you going, mommy, Noel Jr., asked?

    Mommy is going to work, but I am going to miss you boys like crazy while I’m gone.

    If you’re going to miss us so much, why are you going, asked, an inquisitive Ty?

    Do you know how you three come up here and play with all of your toys, just the three of you, I asked, lifting Ainsley and placing him onto my lap?  Noel and Ty stood at my sides with their arms wrapped loosely around my neck.

    We like it when you come play with us, mommy?

    I know you do, but sometimes mommy has to go play with her own toys.  And that is what I do when I go into the office once a month.  I play with my toys for a few hours and then I come back here to spend the rest of my time with you guys.

    Noel planted a quick kiss on my cheek.  Why can’t we go with you and play with your toys?

    I returned his affection and kissed his tiny cheek.  When you’re older, you can go to work with mommy.  I would love for the three of you to all work with mommy someday.  In the meantime, mommy is going to work so that I can keep buying you boys all of these fun toys that you play with.  How does that sound to you guys?

    No mommy.  We don’t want you to go, Ty whined. 

    Clapping of hands interrupted our moment.  I turned to see Maria rushing in to save the day.  She sensed that my boys were making leaving them difficult.  Let’s get changed and go out for a swim boy's.

    None of them budged.  Hanging out with their mommy seemed to intrigue them more than taking a splash in the pool.  Mommy will bring everyone a treat back if you do as Maria has asked, I said, trying to encourage them to get changed.

    More kisses and hugs were shared between us before they ran off to follow Maria down the hall to their bedroom.  She would make sure that they were occupied while I made my way quietly out of the house.  Glancing around the room I saw the mess that would have to be cleaned up later.  They had definitely been having fun.  Toy cars, train tracks and tricycles that should have been outside were strewn about.  Guilt rushed into my heart.  Maybe going to the office was not such a good idea after all.  It was only one day a month, but that was one day a month that was spent away from my little ones.  I would have to look into assigning more power to someone in my firm that I trusted.  Perhaps working even one day per month was too much for my family. 

    Rising from the floor, I took the time out to clean up a few of the toys so that Charity and Maria would not have so much to do.  Footsteps coming down the hall alerted me to Jack’s presence.  I turned just as he was entering the room.  He looked handsome in a pair of gray slacks and a maroon button down.  Even without a tie he looked elegant. 

    Everyone is outside waiting for you.

    Okay, let’s go.

    He waved a hand towards the door, ushering me out.  He and the others had been waiting for me for close to half an hour.  It had taken some time to get up enough nerve to say goodbye to my children.  I pat his arm and headed out of the play room and towards the stairwell.  He was close behind me as I rushed through the house, hoping not to run into Maria and the boys.  Jacks hand wrapped around the doorknob before I could reach for it.  He was such a gentlemen.  Always treating me like a lady, even when I didn’t behave like one. 

    His hand latched to my arm as soon as our feet hit the front porch.  He always became more protective when we were heading off of the grounds.  His grip was tight and didn’t loosen until after he helped me into the vehicle. 

        Jack and I drove in a black Mercedes with tinted windows.  Ahead of us were two black SUV’s which led the way through the gate that led to the outside world—the world