ADHD 101: Parents Edition

By Sandy Pace

ADHD101 Parents Edition is about empowering parents to understand sensitive topics like medication and rights versus responsibility. Through taking a compassionate non-sugar coating approach with parents to acknowledge their problematic attitudes & behavior regarding this sensitive issue.

I intend to assist parents in developing a more realistic approach to their child's diagnosis by giving them the tools to acknowledge their unhelpful thoughts, actions, and problematic beliefs. With easy-to-learn psychological techniques designed to empower parents through empathy and critical thinking.

 

So parents can confidently answer the following question about their child's well-being empowering parents to start healthy conversations like in the following examples below.

 

What do I do next after my child's diagnosed with ADHD?

What are your (good and bad) opinions on ADHD, ADHD medications, and social media?

Where can I get reliable information on ADHD, and why is this an important step?

How do you react to medical professionals' recommendations, and how do your distortions and self-talk play into your answer?

How can parents balance parental rights without infringing on their child's rights?

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mental Health 101
• Release date: Apr 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393103608

Book preview

Foreward

Did you ever think about how people who have ADHD might be affected by all the

misconceptions about ADHD? What if those misconceptions came from their own families and peer groups?

I have known Sandy Pace for the last two years, since shortly after I started my blog sharing my experiences as a mental health nurse living with depression. Throughout that time, I have known him to be a fierce advocate for mental health. 

His passion for challenging stigma and calling out myths commonly associated with mental illness are quickly apparent in his writing. That brings me to the opening questions. 

Sandy brings a powerful perspective to this book – he was initially misdiagnosed and did not receive proper treatment as a child, so he can speak first-hand about the significant damage and shame that this can cause. 

This book is his plea to parents not to put their child with ADHD through what he went through due to negative attitudes around ADHD. 

One thing that struck me while reading this book is that Sandy tackles every one of the issues that are covered head-on and is not hesitant to call out ignorance and other problematic attitudes bluntly. 

There is no sugarcoating whatsoever, and that makes for a unique writing voice.

Pseudoscience is a major pet peeve of mine as a health professional because most people do not have the educational background to evaluate claims that may seem reasonable at first glance critically. 

Sandy is openly critical of pseudoscience and emphasizes speaking to health professionals and tapping into that professional knowledge base to separate fact from fiction.

As a former pharmacist, educating people about psychiatric medications and challenging the stigma associated with them is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. One of the problematic portrayals of ADHD mentioned in the book is in the Netflix documentary Take Your Pills. 

It included examples of experts giving opinions on things that were far outside their realm of expertise.

This meant someone, a non-medical expert, minimized the difference between prescription amphetamines and crystal methamphetamine as a single methyl group, which also happens to be the only difference between the ethanol in your can of beer and the poisonous methanol in antifreeze. 

Sandy calls on people not to accept negative messaging about ADHD medication, even if it shows up on Netflix, YouTube, and other sites. Medication alone will never be enough for someone to achieve optimal health and well-being. 

We are all multi-faceted human beings, and the same is true for a child with ADHD. Sandy emphasizes a holistic approach that includes building a child with ADHD up rather than knocking them down. ADHD is not anyone's fault – not yours as a parent, and indeed not a child's. 

Self-stigma is another important topic covered in the book. Stigma is not inherent in any characteristic or condition. It stems from beliefs associated with what it means to have that condition, and those beliefs are learned. 

If parents have stigmatized ideas regarding ADHD, children will remember those beliefs and apply them to themselves. It's challenging to unlearn those attitudes when they have been ingrained from an early age. 

As a parent, it is essential to prevent those beliefs from being instilled in the first place.

With all the books that have been written about ADHD, why should you read this one? There is tremendous value in hearing the voices of those with lived experiences of mental health conditions. 

Sandy knows what it's like when ADHD is not handled well because he's been there. Your child deserves better, and his experience will provide insights on how you can make sure your child has a more positive experience.

Ashley Peterson RN BSN MPN

Author of Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis

Dedication

I dedicate this book to the parents and people who struggle every day with ADHD. Who shows resilience in a world where people see their child's medical condition as more of an excuse or punch line in a joke. 

Instead of seeing ADHD as a medical condition, it is.

I would also like to thank my former professor Michelle. When I was at a low point in my life, she was the one who told me to help others; you need first to help yourself. Thanks, Michelle, for one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received.

I would also like to thank my aunt Anita for helping me feel normal and giving me the chance to live a healthy life, and listening to me; without your help, I may never have gotten diagnosed with ADHD.

Even though our relationship is not the best at times, my mother instilled in me I had the talent to write; without continually hearing that, I never would have considered writing.

Additionally, thanks to everyone else who supported me and helped me to see having ADHD is not a character flaw or weakness. 

Without you guys, I never would have had the courage to be open about my struggles and diagnosis and write my book and find my voice. Lastly, a special thank you to Rick and Ava Green from TotallyADD for making me a part of your unique community. 

Introduction

I may not be a physician, therapist, psychiatrist, celebrity, or be YouTube famous. What I am, though, is a person diagnosed with ADHD. 

Over the past few years, I noticed parents using phrases such as It's my right to moralize, not giving their children the proper medical treatment their child needs to live a healthy balanced life. Concerning the decisions, they make regarding how they approach their child's diagnosis.  

I'm an individual who knows from first-hand experience how this mindset and behavior are hurtful to individuals throughout their lifespan. Only when parents take positive steps in moving past their negative influences will they become better, more resilient parents.

It will likewise teach you to do the same with your child, giving them the tools to set them up for success for their entire life. Especially when we live in a world with so much misinformation on mental health, making it difficult to tell the difference between mental health facts and fiction. 

Because of this, it's important to remember even though a parent may have good intentions. The things parents put in motion can still have harmful lifelong adverse effects on their child's life!

The purpose of ADHD 101 is to help ease the frustration, guilt, & fears many parents get when their child lives with an ADHD diagnosis! Keep in mind when someone has ADHD, it's not because of bad parenting, diet, or vaccine injuries, or other ridiculous things many people assume cause ADHD.

ADHD is a valid medical condition regardless of how uninformed people assume ADHD as fake or other inaccurate fallacies. It's up to you whether you want to do things to help your child reach their full potential or sabotage that potential.

I want you to ask yourself the following question. Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone to carry out this task? I am guessing and hoping you want to do what is best for your youngster, and if this is the case, you've come to the right place.

Remember, living with ADHD or any other mental health issue can overwhelm even the best of us. Especially in a world where mental health stigma sometimes feels like an acceptable form of discrimination.

ADHD is one of the most underestimated medical conditions today, and it should be treated as a severe medical condition. Otherwise, ADHD will negatively impact someone's life because of their diagnosis not being appropriately treated. 

People with ADHD and other mental illnesses are continually facing things such as mental health stigma daily. Only when we work together can we bring an end to this and help people live productive lives!

There's more to living with ADHD than people assume. 

I know from first-hand experience how frustrating it is when you are young and don't have anyone to support your psychological needs. It makes you think it's your fault, and it puts a person through years of suffering in silence from being made to feel as if their diagnosis is fake or a flaw.

Many parents struggle to accept their child's valid medical condition and are under the assumption a child's behavior is because he/she is lazy, stupid, or not trying hard enough! In reality, it's because your child has a valid medical condition.

My intention in writing ADHD101 is to empower parents to learn practical methods for helping their children and themselves. Granted, that does not mean you or your youngster will not have good days or bad days. 

My book, or any other book, cannot prevent challenging situations and thoughts because that's life. Hopefully, this book's material will help you and your child cope with daily challenges in a more effective, compassionate, and resilient manner.

At times throughout ADHD 101, I may seem very direct about specific issues, that does not mean I am attempting to be demeaning. It is just how I write, and my communication style, plus I do not believe in sugarcoating issues. 

Also, to have a total understanding of possible things that can impact your child's life, you need to see the positives along with the negatives, which includes parent's beliefs and other topics I've covered in ADHD101.

I am also not saying you are a terrible parent or person for being nervous about your ADHD-ers diagnosis. It is more about what you do to reinforce your fears and biases or ease those fears and prejudices, which dictates the person or parent you are, plain and simple. 

So many parents say things such as I know my child, or I've done my research, or It's my right to pick and choose my child's medical treatment. Truthfully it has more to do with your child's rights as he/she is the one who has to live with a mental health diagnosis their entire lifetime. 

In combination with your parental responsibility regardless of your intentions or beliefs. To do that, you need to understand your responsibility as a parent to get your youngster the help they need for preserving over life's challenges.

Unless you are a qualified professional, such as a pharmacist, doctor, therapist, psychotherapist, or nurse, you should not be the individual who is 100% making decisions regarding your child's health.

It would be best to let the professionals do their job because regardless of your intentions, the actions you put in place will have harmful long-term effects on your child. Please listen to health professionals!

Please know I am not saying your opinions aren't necessary or a terrible person or parent! 

But, when you see articles in the news about parents treating their child with things such as smoothies, ketamine, and bleach for life-alternating illnesses. 

It makes an individual question some parents' judgments. I want to stress the importance of listening and following healthcare professionals' advice and not just what you read on social media. 

If you choose to follow something you have read on social media, please check it out with a health care professional before you put it into practice on your child! 

Too many parents feel it is their so-called right to make all decisions regarding their child's health; it makes you wonder what goes through these people's heads! When parents refuse to see past their beliefs and do what is suitable for their child like a caring parent does. 

It is frightening how some people refuse to understand their opinions are not as important as their child getting proper medical attention. Parents need to keep the importance of their child getting proper medical attention at the front of their minds always! 

While continually being mindful of how their biases and beliefs can damage or sabotage their youngsters. 

Through accepting and acknowledging their biases, parents can be so helpful to their children! 

While simultaneously learning healthier skills and coping strategies to help their ADHD child reach his/her full potential. 

The tips in ADHD101 can make life easier for a child with ADHD and the parents. I am not saying this will be a comfortable journey, but the result will be rewarding!

Regardless of what people assume, using Google and YouTube is not always equivalent to doing research. Without the proper qualifications, it is difficult to differentiate between medical facts and fiction.

Even though our healthcare industry is not perfect, even in Canada, it's there for no other reason than to help your child reach his/her fullest potential. It's helped tens of millions of people to live better lives who otherwise never would have been able to live. 

The beliefs I'm referring to don't only apply to people with ADHD. It applies to all individuals with physical or medical illnesses. 

Our health industry's critical role in our lives is why I support our health care industry and the various medical & pharmaceutical interventions used to make millions of people's lives better. (Including myself and many others)

Too many people spend too much time condemning doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and therapists