Finding the Rest

By Cynthia Zayn

In raw and revealing narrative format, author Cynthia Zayn takes readers on a vicarious journey to discover peace and healing after the death of a loved one.
While searching for strategies to cope with her own grief, this author found peace in the most unlikely of places. If you are having a difficult time with your own bereavement, allow her to become your guide, and travel with her to those enlightening destinations. Perhaps you, too, will gain more than just coping methods along the way.
Cynthia Zayn's book Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On, was named one of the 16 best books on Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder by choosingtherapy.com. Zayn's other works include, To Have and to Hold 'til Rest Do You Part, as well as various stories in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CrossLink Publishing
• Release date: Oct 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393293576

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Finding the Rest

A Guide to Discovering Emotional Peace Amid the Turmoil

Cynthia Zayn

CrossLink Publishing

RAPID CITY, SD

Copyright © 2020 by Cynthia Zayn.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Zayn/CrossLink Publishing

1601 Mt Rushmore Rd. Ste 3288

Rapid City, SD 57701

www.CrossLinkPublishing.com

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the Special Sales Department at the address above.

Finding the Rest/Cynthia Zayn. —1st ed.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020950658

Unless otherwise note, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Public Domain).

Scripture quotations marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked ISV are taken from The Holy Bible: International Standard Version. Release 2.0, Build 2015.02.09. Copyright © 1995-2014 by ISV Foundation. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED INTERNATIONALLY. Used by permission of Davidson Press, LLC.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, IL 60188. All rights reserved.

For Flea and Max: And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away (Rev 21:4 KJV).

Contents

Chapter 1: Introduction and Good Intentions

This chapter is the introduction, which describes the good intentions of people’s often futile but well-meaning words of condolence to those suffering the loss of a loved one, as well as the author’s good intentions of offering hope to any reader suffering such loss.

Chapter 2: The Steps of Grieving

This chapter is arranged by the steps of grieving, along with the author’s perspective and experiences with each step.

Chapter 3: What You See Is What You Get

Chapter 3 is clearly another ambiguous title that not only discusses the aspects of mourning/grieving that the reader may endure but also offers biblical perspective with Scripture that can enlighten the reader and instill hope.

Chapter 4: Understanding What We See

This chapter is a continuation and deeper explanation of Chapter 3.

Chapter 5: The Rest

Chapter 5 defines rest not only as the emotional respite needed after losing a loved one but also as resting in faith and the rest of the book.

Chapter 6: Recognizing the Fruit

As suggested by the title, Chapter 6 shows readers how to recognize the fruit of the Spirit (discerning how to know if an experience is divine), as well as how to recognize those well-intentioned fruits that can unwittingly lead them astray.

Chapter 7: Staying in the Game

This chapter offers encouragement and ways to hang in there and continue living after the death of a close loved one.

Chapter 8: Beyond the Physical

Using biblical references and human experiences, this last chapter shows the possibility of people being something more than just a physical presence and offers the idea of a transformation rather than just an end to life.

Summary

This chapter offers hope as it wraps up the book.

About the Author

Chapter 1

Introduction and Good Intentions

Oh, great! Another book that suggests ways to heal after losing a loved one. If that is what you were thinking, I completely understand. After experiencing the untimely death of my son, I was given many such books—books about coping with loss, books about finding a new normal, and even books based on the Kübler-Ross model of the five stages of grieving.

Oh, I suppose they meant well—those people who gifted me the books—and I’m sure the authors’ intentions were just as honorable. But the truth is that nothing I read seemed to take away the pain I suffered after the untimely death of my son.

My youngest child was gone, and no amount of words in the world could ever change that—no book, no well-intentioned author, and no organized list of steps to follow while grieving. Nothing was going to bring him back. Nothing was going to change what had happened. My heart broke the day my son left this world; and all the promises of healing, in all the books in the universe, would never be able to fix that.

Following my son’s death, those first moments after I awoke each morning were my only respite from the pain. Then I would remember. It became exhausting having to experience the crushing squeeze of the invisible hand around my heart every time I saw or heard something that reminded me of him. And I was never able to brace myself against those seemingly random and unexpected gut kicks. I just wanted to find a way to make the pain disappear.

When I spoke with others who had lost a close loved one, I learned that they, too, had experienced physical manifestations of their emotional pain. But I also learned that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to coping methods. In fact, depending on the various dynamics surrounding each story, certain coping skills work better than others.

In order to understand which coping methods would work best for me, I had to embark upon a journey of discovery that led me to some really dark places. However, the knowledge I acquired along the way acted as a beacon cutting its way through the darkness and illuminating truths I had always looked at but had never really seen. Those revelations brought with them something I had lost—something I never expected to experience again—and that was hope.

My intentions are to allow this book to become a vicarious mode of transportation for its readers. That way we can safely travel back to some of those places I discovered on my own. After all, it is so much better to travel with a companion, especially when visiting places that you have looked at forever but have never truly seen.

By the journey’s end, I pray that your souvenirs not only include coping methods to help ease your pain, but also an extra companion—a companion you had perhaps once known very intimately but never expected to know again.

So, if you are up to it, by all means, come along. I must warn you, however, there may be some layovers at places you never expected to travel. But no worries. You won’t be traveling alone.

My Story

Before we begin our adventure, perhaps I should share some details about my own story and what led to that tragic event that changed my life forever. Whether your story is similar to mine, or vastly different, your discoveries on this journey will be specifically for you.

Rather than start my story at the very beginning, I shall pick up where my husband left after twenty years of marriage. I became a single mother and began the long journey of raising three children on my own. Though I was afraid of handling that task by myself, I knew that God was with me, so I kept telling myself that with God, all things are possible (Mark 10:27 KJV).

As with many single moms, I faced numerous challenges and found myself trying to play the dual role of mother and father to my children. It wasn’t easy, and there were times I begrudged my ex-husband for heaping all of the responsibility upon me, especially when it came to teaching my kids to drive. But I got