The Power Of Relationships

By M.j. wiseman

Like the saying goes,  we didn't inherit our world from our ancestors, we simply borrowed it from our children; David Brower. This book was inspired by the 28000 divorces Zambia recorded in the year 2017; then the 22000 dissolved marriages a year later. Both stories made headlines in the August 28 and February 15 daily mail newspapers. And the main cause was Infidelity,  poor communication and unrealistic expectations in marriages; among other reasons we've discussed in the book. The average age range for these couples are between 20 and 45,  youths. Hence this book is very vital because the kind of society we will have tommorow is determined by the kind of families we are building today. Family is very important in the development of society,  its were leaders of tomorrow are developed. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: M.j. wiseman
• Release date: Feb 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393042167

Book preview

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Foreword

Like the saying goes , we didn’t inherit our world from our ancestors, we simply borrowed it from our children; David Brower.

This book was inspired by the story of the 28,000 divorce cases Zambia recorded in 2017, then the 22,000 dissolved marriages a year later. Both stories made headlines in the Zambian daily mail and the times of Zambia news papers; on the 28 August 2017 and 15th February 2020. The main causes of these destruction of families were Infidelity, lack of proper marriage counseling, beauty, lack of  family support, poor communication between spouses, lack of intimacy, unrealistic expectations, early marriages, cruelty, conjugal rights dispute, interference from family and friends, desertion and change in appearance among other issues, most of which we will discuss in this book. Average ages of these couples were between 20 and 45 years old; youths. Hence this project was very vital because the kind of society we will have tomorrow is determined by the kind of families we are building today. Family is very important in the development of any society, this is because that’s where leaders of tomorrow are developed. All topics discussed in this book were based on findings from the author’s research.

Author’s note

Scholars have written many books about how to get a girl into a relationship, how to seduce a guy into a marriage. Well, this is more of that kind of a book. But it is also about how to make a relationship work. Building today’s relationships into tomorrow’s families. Families where parents fend, serve and protect the integrity of their families. Families where parents cook dinner for their children and help them with their home work; not spending late nights in bars and restaurants. The kind of families where parents provide the needs of their children, the kind of families where everyone knows their place in it and they feel blessed being part of it; the kind of families that goes beyond blood, race, tribe, fame, politics or financial status; enjoy the book.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to you

PROLOGUE

They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Well... this is true looking at the fact that humanity has different tastes in different things. But, there’s a certain kind of beauty that brings us all together; from the distant hills of eastern province to the great falls of Mosi’ oa tunya. Although this book is not really about that kind of beauty; it’s one of the kind that we share. When it comes to choosing potential partners in relationships that’s when the real struggle begins. From the cave man age marriages in Africa have always been sacred. That’s why during those times when a man or a woman had become of age. It was up to the parents or family to choose a spouse for the bride or groom to be. Beauty or love never really played a part on the side of groom or bride.  It was believed with time love grew, and children bonded those relationships to last till death do us part. But we have evolved with time; so is the way of marriage. Now beauty and love is the bond that holds most relationships of today, not children and definitely not family.

Most marriages of today only lasts till divorce do us part. We have lost our way; but we can’t go back now because time waits for no man. We have to find a new way, a better path to take us till death do us part.

Marriage is still sacred and some traditions are still practicing arranged marriages; despite being highly discouraged and opposed by modern traditions. In traditions of today it’s up to the bride or the groom to be to find their suitable partner in marriage. Families have little or no part to play, for as long as they love each other then everyone is happy, or at least they have to pretend to be. In this modern society grooms go out into the world to look for their suitable brides. And brides wait within the world for their Mr. Right to find them. No one really knows how long it will take or the kind of people one’s going to meet along the way; it’s a matter of trial and error. Some are so lucky it just takes them a few moments of their life, others a few months, some years, others a life time, and others.....? Well others lose hope along the way and give up searching, better luck next life.  This usually happens when a woman is single at 40 or has children; or when a man is 50 and single.

The truth is one never really knows until they know. Sometimes one may find love but skewed, and the worst part is no one really knows for sure what the other partner is feeling or feels for them.  Sometimes one may feel they have arrived while their partner is still searching. It’s even worse when your partner takes longer to realize they never really belonged.  Because with time love grows between hearts, building on the foundation of trust, care and respect.  It’s a risk we all have to take sometimes.

Before Mr. Right arrives or Ms Right is found we often bump our hearts into a few Ms Wrongs or Mr. Wrongs. Sometimes the impact is too much, hearts break. But the real challenge lies in picking all the shattered pieces and moving on. Mending all the broken pieces along the way; and building on trust. In most cases trust is hardly there; that’s why one would hear sayings like all men or women are just the same. The sound of lost hope; this statement has contributed highly to the number of relationship break ups of today.  Have we lost hope in modern traditions too?  I guess we were so eager to jump we hardly noticed what was really down there. Now our society is drowning in tears of all the broken hearts; all the fatherless, motherless and familyless children out there in the streets. All the lonely hearts out there searching... looking for the right reason to stay, looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Someone they can go out with at night and when dawn breaks, that person will still be there. This used to be a family headache and there was tradition to prepare us for that. Modern tradition struck its way into our way of life, and there was no literature to prepare us for that.

Why infidelity...?

Infidelity is the act of being sexually unfaithful. Infidelity has been and is still the number one killer of relationships of today. No one likes to be cheated on, no one even embraces the thought of their partner, the love of their life having sex with another; even those who does it can’t stand the thought of it. Men are mostly the perpetrators of this vice. Most are the times when men become sexually unfaithful today in a relationship, and the relation may still be there tomorrow; but never the same as before the act. But when women do it, it’s mostly the end of the relationship once he learns of it. Infidelity has killed a lot of relationships and is still killing more; it’s time to stop it.

But what can we do to stop it all completely...? All this madness...? The answer to this great question lies deep within each and every one of us. The moment we become true to ourselves and answer the question that matters the most, the question most people choose to ignore for the taste of lust. If my partner was to do the things i do in the dark, can i still be proud and love them the same way i do? The moment you answer this great question honestly to yourself... you have cured infidelity within you.

Why beauty...?

Beauty is a combination of qualities that