I Am Stahhvin'! a Short Story Collection

By Mickey Thomas

I Am Stahhvin'! is the first within a collection of short story memoirs written by first time author, Mickey Thomas. She provides transparency about hardships and heart ache that left her yearning for more in life.

From early age marriage to a surprising stint in jail, this collection of memoirs is a helpful reminder to stay steadfast on your journey towards finding life's purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9780359087464

Book preview

I Am Stahhvin'! a Short Story Collection

I Am Stahhvin'! A Short Story Collection

Copyright © 2018 Mickey Thomas

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

without the express written permission of the publisher

except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2018

ISBN 978-0-359-08746-4

www.withlovemickey.com

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

PREFACE

Stahhvin' /stӓ,ven/or starving. Adj. When the mind, body or soul suffers and/or dies from lack of food.

That is what I have been mainly all my life. Stahhvin'. Yearning for more in my life and suffering from lack thereof. Growing up and especially in school, the question is always ask..'what are your dreams?' or 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' I can't remember anyone asking me what I thought my life purpose is.

While I felt wholeheartedly that there was more for me than a promised nine to five after college, it never crossed my mind to dial in and pray to God to show me what my purpose was.  At least not until I got to age 20.  I was having a hard time finding a job and there was the question again. What do you want to do?!? I started praying and really thinking. This time while I was searching for jobs, I started thinking about the things I enjoyed and could turn into a business.  What was my true passion and purpose?

Finding our given purpose in life for some comes easy and for some takes the majority of a lifetime to realize or succumb to.  Most have a hard time saying yes to God's plan instead of their own.

In middle school, I wrote a lot and kept my emotions, thoughts and feelings on paper.  It seemed emotionally safe rather than trying to express to family or friends.  In my poems, I wrote about my feelings, I wrote about my first love (yes in middle school), my absent biological father and other burst of random teenage emotions.

In high school, I didn't write much but took to childhood creative talents by taking dance and sewing classes as electives in school.  Around my friends, I was a hopeful designer and entrepreneur.  Around my school counselors and family, I was an aspiring Pharmacist at the time for college applications. 

I was involved in a program that ran outside of school hours targeting urban youth, aiding in exploring the various fields available post high school.  My high school boyfriend and I both were involved in the science section of the program.  The yearly salary must have clogged our minds.  We both declared that we wanted to go to school to become Pharmacists and dreamed of our success together in the future. 

Once I got to college, I realized none of it mattered much to me but I stuck with it for my family.  I had spent so much time trying to realize the things that society said I should be doing, that I took zero time figuring out what I wanted to do, let alone what I was called to do.  Nobody can lead to you purpose, unless God especially calls them to help you.  But it seemed that everyone had the answer.  Nurse and teacher were the two careers most suggested for me. I could not stand to even look at a needle, how would that work? Would I be a failure if I didn't try?

What may work for one person, may be a complete disaster for you.  And I finally found that living according to the specifics of my life was the only way to live. 

God had put it in my heart to be a witness for experiences that would help people around me but at 20 years old I was not ready for the task.  I hadn't truly been through heartache, been broke financially, learning any true life lessons, and I certainly hadn't seen any lows or had to make any climb back to the top of any mountains. 

These short stories are all snippets of my life where I made ill decisions based on the feeling or footsteps of family, my own faults and procrastinating that brought me trouble and hurt I never imagined for myself.  God promised that He would use ALL things to bless those that truly loved Him and I have always believed that. I have tried to find and remain faithful throughout everything that has come over my life, with that very promise in mind.  'Surely God will use this for something good later.' That is what I would tell myself. 

Once I got married and started going through, my memory slipped on the very thing God had placed on me to do.  The only thing on my mind was myself and husband at the time.  I wrote in several journals along the way, but not once thought about the book I previously wanted to write to help others. I needed the help.  I needed the prayers.  I needed the friendships and laughter and guidance through my situation. 

It wasn't until I got to Atlanta and had an epiphany about