How to Run a Company Into the Ground

By Radomir Djenadic

Have you ever wondered why there are so many overpaid but completely incompetent people in high management positions?
Did you ever shake your head in disbelief because of your manager’s destructive decisions?
Have you ever looked in awe as a market leaders waste their immaculate reputation in just few years?

Search no more! The secret is out, ‘their’ manual is revealed to the public and available for all to learn from. How to run a company into the ground was a secret kept for decades from common people. Now you, your kids or even your dog can profit from it by starting a wrecker career on your own.

Take a dive into some of the most precious advice available to man on how to ruin your company’s future.
Learn how to bury even biggest companies with 100% foolproof advice. And all of that without ever landing behind bars or getting any of the blame!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312222083

Book preview

How to Run a Company

Into the Ground

Radomir Djenadic

HOW TO RUN A COMPANY

INTO THE GROUND

Copyright © 2014 by Radomir Djenadic

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any way or form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, Radomir Djenadic.

This is a work of fiction. Yes, for real, any resemblance to any of your managers or working colleagues is entirely coincidental. And if there is any resemblance I strongly suggest you start running for the hills and away from the company you are working for.

Contents

Intro

Do-Nots

Scaring people off - Hiring Ad

Promote into oblivion

Promoting Sideways

Endless Process Loops (EPLs)

Meetings: Introduction

Meetings: Schedule

Meetings: Agenda

Meetings: Audience

Meetings: Running the meeting

Meetings: Meeting Minutes

Working environment: Introduction

Working environment: Uniformity

Working environment: Chairs

Working environment: Smart working

Working environment: Office presence

Establish herd mentality

Empathy

Caste System

Bonuses: ’Maluses’

Bonuses: For Da Bawss

Outsourcing

Accountants

Destroying Your Customer Base

Politicians

Methodologies

Management Summary

Nepotism

Multitasking

Lessons Learned

Departmentalization

Being rude

Hiring ratio

Golden Parachute

Closing word

Afterword

Intro

A company never goes into the ground accidentally. The stories of one rogue trader destroying it all with one or more bad trades are just smoke and mirrors to divert your eyes from the real truth. Which is that behind every rogue trader there must be at least one person who carefully planned and steered events that would culminate in a cataclysmic event that would put the company where they wanted it to be - into the ground.

And to make things really cool they did it in a way that no one could ever blame them for while cashing in monstrous bonuses in the process!

You probably pass them at work every day. You might even have lunch with them every now and then or share a drink together in the bar next to your office. But you never know who or what they really are.

I’m talking about Masters Of Failure! People who are capable of taking any company down regardless of its history of success, fat balance sheet, excellent client base and immaculate reputation.

MOFs (short for ‘Masters Of Failure’) are real! There is probably a MOF in every office, and some companies even have whole groups wondering around the corridors (which usually spells doom for that company pretty soon) but these failure professionals are very careful not to be identified for what and who they really are. They are usually well dressed, highly educated (MBA, ISTQB, Prince, FBI, NBA, NHL… they got all the diplomas you can think of!) and very eloquent (even though not much sense comes out of their mouth at any time). And it is mandatory that they occupy a management position, since those, and only those, allow them enough maneuverability to achieve their goals. (Seriously, when is the last time you saw a cleaning lady or janitor take down a company?)

By pure accident I have stumbled on this secret MOF manual (in a company toilet, rather appropriately) and it is my duty to share this ‘sacred’ knowledge with a large audience. For everyone deserves to know how to run a company into the ground.

You probably thought I would use this manual to help humanity identify MOFs, and declare some sort of holy crusade against them, right? Come on, you don’t even know who are you dealing with here! Even if you had all the evidence in the world to prove that someone is a