Surviving the Pandemic (Definitely) Part 1

By Trescha Kay

Covid got you feeling down? Overwhelmed by 2020? Take a trip with the friend you've always wanted. Your new best friend, Trescha will help guide you through the first six months of the 2020 pandemic. Relive the highlights of the year that has been like no other.
A feel good book to help you laugh about everything that has made you cry so far in 2020. Trescha will take you on her personal journey of navigating anxiety, boredom, a lack of toilet paper and of course, Surviving the Pandemic (Definitely) Part 1!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trescha Kay
• Release date: Oct 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005145118

Trescha Kay

About the AuthorTrescha Kay is your best friend. She is friendly, loyal and extremely honest. She has the ability to see humor in everything. If she isn’t making unfiltered remarks, her face is saying it for her. She’ll make you a fancy drink and tell you a funny story. She will help you get a date or lose one. She is also a source of endless facts you didn’t need to know.When she isn’t busy being your best friend, you can find her on the beach relaxing. Trescha is an accomplished photographer, baker, writer and sarcasm expert. She loves history, hockey, Halloween and alligators.You can always count on Trescha to be there for you, just don’t call her unless it is an emergency.

Book preview

Introduction

I began writing in the end of March 2020 and decided to wrap it up in September. There will probably have to be a part two because even as I stopped adding new ridiculousness, well the year has not stopped. I am certain that there will be plenty more to write about in the near future.

When I first began writing this book, it was just a way for me to release all of the crazy thoughts that were spinning out of control in my mind. This was a more captivating hobby than listening to silence or watching the news. In many ways, it has kept me sane and at the very least it helped me to keep track of what frickin’ day of the week it is! The events of this year are the star of the show and I am just one person trying to blindly navigate through all of the crap.

So much began happening and so quickly that it might have been easy to forget most of it. Even looking back on certain events I have to ask myself if that really happened, I do not believe some of the stuff that came out of this year and I lived through it. Twenty years from now 2020 might just be a blip in some history book; it will no longer be real. (Not that anything that has happened this year has actually felt real!)

It could also end up being a period that is studied over and over again. Most likely It will be scrutinized by all of the children that are currently being home schooled by their reluctant, day drinking parents. When these children grow up, they are going to have opinions and they are going to have very strong feelings about how we negatively impacted their future. I mean, what generation doesn’t blame the one before them? This time, they may actually have a pretty solid point or two or probably five.

They may not be wrong, but no matter how hard they study or how much they think they understand about what was happening…they will never, NEVER begin to understand just how good the alcohol and the memes flowed in 2020! Just in case this book has grabbed your attention and somehow you are unaware of what a meme is, I will save you an Internet search for the definition. This will be an important word going forward, not only in this book but also as a key to Surviving the Pandemic.

Meme: A humorous image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied (with slight variations) and spread rapidly by internet users. The content is usually hysterical and or highly offensive.

I’d like to believe that we all did the best that we could with what we were given.

Then again, we were mostly given humor, anxiety and lots and lots of hard seltzer.

WELCOME

(The Only Way Out is Forward)

Welcome to the year 2020! Doesn’t that just sound so magical? Two zero two zero…that is going to be a good year! That is certainly what we all were thinking in January? Friends, hang on to something because the next few months are going to be wild!

I have the great honor of being your humble host as we explore the year that has been like no other. Before we begin, I would like to ask that you all stay at least 6ft apart at all times. Please make sure that your mask is in the upright position, covering not only your mouth but also your nose. Place extra care in not touching your face while you do this… DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE! Remember to keep your opinions to yourself and try not to over react about minor inconveniences. If you feel the need to do so, everyone will have their cell phone ready and I promise that you will become the next viral sensation!

Hand washing stations have been conveniently located all around, as they have (sadly) always been. If you are unsure of proper hand washing techniques, signs have been placed for your convenience directly above every sink. Some of our cleaning sponsors have also begun running ads to better help you with this very difficult task. Remember to always use soap!

Most importantly, as we navigate through this uncharted territory, every celebrity quarantined in their mansion and every company that wants your money would like to comfort you with this gem…

WE ARE ALL (ALL!) IN THIS TOGETHER!

I suppose that before we do a deep dive in to this dumpster fire, I should give you a bit of information on me and just a little backstory on the year. I want to turn the lights down low and set the mood just right before we all bend over and take what 2020 has to give us!

My name is Trescha and I enjoy writing. You already knew that because YOU ARE SMART. Also, it is my name plastered on the cover and you are literally reading what I wrote. See, I wrote that and you just read it! Pretty cool, huh? I speak one language and that is sarcasm. You may have gotten that from the tone of my writing. However, if you had not detected it please take a moment to adjust your inner reading voice to that of a very snarky individual. I am not a jerk, I am not mean or rude, I am simply beautifully snarky…I’m a nice person; I just find humor in…well, everything, especially my own pain. Moving forward, if you do not understand sarcasm and you feel offended by something I have written, please think of it as a joke.

If you are a know it all, you will most likely notice that my style of writing is a little different. Please do not try to correct it or tell me it is wrong. It is called an artistic license and there will be times when I will play fast and loose with the English language. I am allowed to do this. It is my book and my style and it is frickin’ 2020, so get over it. I promise I am writing this way for a reason, so just be shut up, please!

I’m also not very political these days. I prefer to stay ahead of the trends and caring about politics was so last year. (See? Right there… sarcasm! If you detected it, you get a Gold Star!) I only mention this fact about me because in a year where everything has been politically charged (yes, everything, even if you don’t realize it), I would like to tiptoe quietly around such issues and just bring you the dark and humorous side of 2020. I do promise that if I have to make fun of one side too much, I will have plenty of material to equally roast the other half. Also, if you are really good I may just throw in one political chapter that will blow your mind, but only if you are good.

Alright… Author, sarcastic, not participating in politics…I have a type A personality, I do not know how to sit still, I don’t take much of anything seriously and I can’t stay mad to save my life. I am also an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert! Unsure of what that is? Basically, I enjoy hanging out with lots of different people and being the center of attention, but too much stresses me out and I am just as happy staying home and achieving my quiet goals, alone. I am a Photographer by nature, but I get bored doing any one thing for too long (Millennial over here!) and have enjoyed all sorts of odd jobs over the years. I’ve been known to have as many as four jobs at once in all different capacities and positions. I love to travel and explore new places, but I do not like surprises. If you attempt to scare