The Nudity of My Truth

By Diva Devoted

"I've lived my life based on making people happy instead of myself and I would always put my loved ones first.
I'd please them emotionally by saying it was alright when it was not.

I’d be forcing myself to heal faster to display strength and to quickly reunite.

Physically, by not wearing what the public viewed as appropriate for certain body types, knowing very well I’d feel comfortable in it.

By going to the gym to remain relevant to an unfaithful lover instead of doing it for my health.
Sexually, by faking that I enjoyed my partner in order to please him.

I ended up believing I do not need to be sexually satisfied as long as all other aspects of our lives are fine and the fact that he was happy, made me happy at home.

I've lived my life feeling like I'm not good enough because the people that mattered the most in my life never believed I was good enough; if they did, they failed to support me through it.

Self-doubt is not easily healed by self-motivation especially if there are financial issues still blocking your progress, which may lead to self-destruction.

I was under debt review for four years and my car broke after being paid off. I couldn’t even fix or buy a new car for four years.

Throughout this time my family dreaded the way I had full disclosure of my medical status in public. At times I felt like they were ashamed of me and all because they never understood what living with a chronic disease was like.

How did I get over all of this? Well, I am still getting over it. You ask: 'How is it possible that I have been HIV positive for approximately10 years without ARV treatment?' It’s not me but by God’s grace.

It is said when you walk with God, ancestors or Allah, there will be two sets of footprints but when he carries you, there will only be one set of footprints. So it is not because he walked away but that he carried you, and walked and breathed for you when you felt that you could not go on anymore.

I sincerely hope that with this book you find more value in yourself and find a coping mechanism to help get you over the oppression caused by your surroundings and circumstance as I did through my writing."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diva Devoted
• Release date: Sep 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005961190

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