Identify Your Bully then, Get Rid of It

By Debra Moore

Identifying a bully, allows us to dimensionally view; realistic ways of dealing with those we may not recognize as, or those whom we may refer to as bullies! The book’s utmost purpose however, is about building or restoring the confidence one loses, due to the impediment of bullying on the human spirit!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Debra Moore
• Release date: Jul 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005638979

Debra Moore

Debra Moore, Freelance author of the e-booksIdentify Your Bully Then Get Rid of It! and Interior Decorating on the Cheap!I believe that life should not be as difficult as society makes it; and because of that, my writings will always lean towards promoting self-esteem or change. We need to create our own bit of heaven in whatever we have; or in whatever we hope to achieve. so I try to help others plant a seed in the direction towards hope and dreams!I believe if I can make a person smile, or add clarity to a person's problem, I have made the world a better place; one person at a time.

Book preview

Identify Your Bully

Then

Get Rid of It!

Debra Moore

Identify Your Bully

Then Get Rid Of

It!

Copyright 2020

Debra Moore

Smashwords Addition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away. If you would like to share this book with others, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

In dedication to the love of my life, I offer this book in memoriam to my beloved mother

Ola Robinson

Before beginning our journey, allow me to convey my gratitude to the Holy Spirit and to the Heavenly Father, for providing the guidance and the direction towards this writing. Furthermore, I offer my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to my beloved mother who has been my rock; and as well, the person who has taught me so much!

She being a top my most prized earthly possessions; will forever remain cherished within my heart! As I reflect upon her guidance and love throughout the years, I am finding my beloved mother, truly a unique person!

I am eternally thankful for lessons taught about the true meaning of living, while instilling within me courage for conquering life’s adversities!

Things spoken about during my childhood have proven to be remarkably valuable even throughout adulthood. Such teachings allowed me to avoid pit falls that could have easily derailed my life, if not for listening and grasping my mother’s wisdom!

I am truly indebted to my mother, because as I witness the falling of humanity to greed and hostility, I still find wonder and beauty all about me; even in times of turmoil, if only I look beyond what man portrays as beauty!

The world categorizes success, as having the ability to purchase things. However, what most fail to recognize, is how successful our lives still can be; even with smaller miracles!

To my dear mother, I hope this gift of honoring you meets with your approval, and I thank you for loving me and allowing me to share your life!

I will forever love, and forever appreciate you.

Today, as millions struggle to get a handle on life, I feel we may need to take a different approach in solving some of life’s unnecessary, though fixable difficulties!

My approach involves taking many of these so-called life issues; and calling them out for what they really are, bullies!

By deciphering the main ingredient of such issues, I hope it serves to put an end to many of society’s problems; that are actually self-inflicted!

As civility within the world continues to unravel, I find that life merges flawlessly with the wisdom of my mother’s teachings about everyday living! It was through her personal achievements; that I myself discovered my own true meaning of living life with strength and determination no matter the obstacle! My mother’s teachings set me upon paths of success; despite the many adversities that challenged and often times crushed dreams!

Viewing life through my mother’s eyes, provided vast wisdom for seeing through the world; rather than being of the world. My mother’s aspirations along with unceasing faith; have yet again inspired me to continue my own journey of revisiting and fulfilling lifelong dreams, once put away due to life’s uncontrollable circumstances! Witnessing her strength as a child; afforded me enormous strength for pushing away many obstacles; wanting to take hold or to control my life!

I want this book to serve as witness as to what one can achieve, once we let go and overcome mental entanglements! As long as one believes and strives to accomplish their goal, one can gain strength in; and from, whatever life throws our way; and still live a successful life!

Life will provide numerous venues for success; if we would take action in letting go of what hinders us; and move forward towards achieving our true desires!

What I wish for my readers is; that this book inspires you to challenge life’s adversities, by first understanding the undesirable situations; seeking to control our lives!

What you must come to understand is; that it takes enormous strength to make life altering decisions; and even greater fortitude for seeing such decisions through!

As others began to notice the replenishing of your spirit and the renewed strength to face down the bullies of your life, they too maybe inspired to find their own new paths to success!

Preface

The main objective in the writing of this book; was to enlighten those unknowingly held captive by situations linked to bullying! The ultimate goal of the book however, is to encourage and to offer guidance; in ending the suffering from such fixable disparities!

Identifying a bully, allows us to dimensionally view; realistic ways of dealing with those we may not recognize as, or those whom we may refer to as bullies! The book’s utmost purpose however, is about building or restoring the confidence one loses, due to the impediment of bullying on the human spirit!

As I go about debunking society’s useless theory on conquering bullying, one may discover; a much clearer picture for understanding the secret world of bullying!

Identify Your Bully Then Get Rid of It, not only gives insight into bullies we often overlook, but it also teaches how to spot tactics a bully uses; when trying to prime us for becoming victims!

The inspiration behind the journey we are about to embark on, stems from the torment and struggles people experience when dealing with the mental chains of bullying, regardless of age! Up until now, society has offered no real solutions towards such problems; leaving most to feel lost; or left to believe having no way out!

Many who are confined within the hostilities of bullying, do not understand the real reason behind such behavior, nor do they understand why it is they are under attack! People living within the harsh depths of bullying, oftentimes take their own lives or; they remain in detrimental relationships that unfortunately end in tragedy!

Until we face the real reason as to why we accept such behavior, it will most likely remain; an impossible feat of freeing one’s self from the antics of bullying!

However, by stepping out of the norm as to how we view such situations; we become capable of taking action towards getting rid of any bully; be it person, situation, or thing!

Identify Your Bully Then Get Rid of It, is a blue print to the makeup of any bully, and what the bully hopes to accomplish from its actions!

THE POWER IS YOURS! USE IT!

ONLY YOU CAN STOP THE ACTIONS OF A BULLY!

NEVER GIVE A BULLY YOUR POWER!

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!

A STRONG MIND IS YOUR GREATEST ASSET!

FREE YOUR MIND, AND YOU WILL FIND TRUE POWER!

A BULLY IS ONLY AS STRONG AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE!

THERE IS NOTHING STRONGER THAN FAITH AND PERSEVERANCE!

CLAIM IT! VICTORY IS YOURS!

BELIEVE YOU CAN DEFEAT A BULLY, AND YOU WILL!

Table of Content

Bullying Has Been Around for Thousands of Years

Breaking down the Bully by Category

Abusive Behavior at a Glance

We Fall Short by Not Listening to Our Guiding Spirit

Will You Lead or Follow

Society Inundates Us with Crime

We have relinquished our Power

Have I ever attracted a Bully?

My very first ah-hah moment!

My Own Bouts with Bullying

Separating Bullying from Ordinary Jest

Bullying in Businesses and Corporations

Bullying has become Big Business

Matters of Yesterday Still Effecting the Black Population

Getting What We Pay For

U.S. Employer Political Recruitment Policies are becoming a Problem

Why do People Bully?

Is it really Coincidence?

The Question Why

We Attract Bullies through our Own Personal Preferences

Bad Behavior, Is It Hereditary

Bullying a Woven Part of Our Democracy

Are Bullies Plaguing Your Life

How Did I Attract a Bully?

How Not Listening

How refusing to surrender to a Child Won the Battle

A Story of Not being so angelic

A Story of an Out of Control Child

How We Oftentimes Create our Own Hell

Your Personal Bullies; Do You Know Them

The Misuse of Cyber Space

Gun Control who’s Thumb are we really under

My Personal Story Involving Gun Violence

Hacks and Other Attacks

Technology Babysits our Kids

My Mother was a Terrific Mom

Our Youth have Become Prey

Tech Savvy Kids

Valentine's Day Mass Shooting at Stoneman Douglas

Florida House Refuses to hear Gun Bill for Banning Assault Weapons

Trafficking at a Glance

We need to stop being Tech Stupid

Ending Cyber Bullying can be Simple

Never Give Up Never Give In

Bullies with Millions in its Grasp, Drugs, Alcohol, Cigarettes, and Stress

The Truth about Smoking

Trends

Other Types of Bullies Many Ignore

Does Your Relationship contain a Bully?

Bullying by use of Control

Bullying in Teen Romance

Stop Giving Away Your Power!

Loneliness

Confidence and Strength is A Necessity

Another Hidden Reality of Bullying

Are You Willing to Do What It Takes

Exploring the Anatomy of Your Bully

Other Encounters with Bullies

Another Bout with a Bully

Dot Your I's And Cross Your T's

Conquering the Fears of Others

Taking Away a Bully's Power

Taunts

An Almost Unbelievable Story

A Story of Standing Strong

The Aha Moment

Tricks of the Bullying Trade

Never allow your Bully to know your Next Move

Other Weapons Used in Bullying, Loudness and Yelling

The Fake Out

Ready Set Go

The Power of Silence

Hostage Taking

Belittling

The act of Exclusion

Sexual Preferences

Other Types of Sexual Preferences

Is being Over Weight Your Bully

There's No Such Thing as an Idle Threat

Relationship Tension, It’s not a Time to be Complacent! It’s not Business as Usual!

Our Lives Can Change In an Instant When Ignoring Signs.

Protecting Ourselves through Other Forms of Preparation

Self Defense can go a Long Way

Key Notes about Bullying

Stopping Attacks, Are You Prepared?

A Mother Sexually Assaulted

Weapons Readily Available to Us

Building your Confidence Muscle

Is It Bullying or Something Else

Examining our Own Behavior

Society Isn’t Always Right!

It’s Time

Are You Ready!

Guard Your Tongue

Never allow anyone to Negatively Define You!

Create a Vision Board! Create a Vision Board

Affirmations!

As society’s sense of civility continues to erode, the effects of bullying; is fast becoming a lucrative commodity around the world! Within an instant, a bully can have a mindset to wreak havoc or to traumatize us; for reasons known only to them!

However, by dissecting the culture of bullying and critically examining the role society now allows it to play, we can literally discover antics of bullying everywhere, and throughout every part of our lives!

Millions throughout the world, literally find themselves facing the antics of bullying, almost on a daily bases! Oftentimes, bullying can find its place amongst a country’s leaders; or within a nation’s classroom, in our homes, or within the antics of complete strangers! Within the mainstream of society; bullying has become; or should I say has always been, a major aspect of human behavior!

Upon closely examining the many tiers of bullying, compelling evidence shows, those who bully or use other forms of human exploitation, such behavior correlates with social extremities!

Such extremities, are usually the product or a derivative of human stagnation; occurring during periods of social disruption! Plainly put, it is the breakdown of social civility and respect within one’s environment; experienced by individuals both physically and mentally!

As thousands come seeking asylum within the borders of these United States, the most commonly used explanation behind such a journey entails; fear of death or poverty; as to why they are abandoning their country of origin!

Many such environments; also claim its victims through other common denominators prevalent within many areas of society, such as growing up underprivileged or privileged, or through encountered abuse!

If we were to look, one could easily find victimization occurring even within our own neighborhoods, especially in areas where racial and social exploitation is on the rise!

Social extremities can also derive from culturally driven behavior; or, from just plain old poor judgement!

Simply put, anything can set a person or a population on a path to becoming a bully!

Bullying Has Been Around for Thousands of Years

Since the beginning of time; manipulation and force was a tool in man’s arsenal, so really; bullying is nothing new! Since man began manipulating his circumstances, bullying was a factor in life!

It became a tool for capturing land from animal or man, to being an asset for taking ownership of others, or even of one’s possessions! History allows us to see just as it was then, how bullying remains man’s greatest tool!

Before we begin to deflate the so call monster better known as bullying, we should research the word bully for just a moment. During the fifteenth century, the word bully was actually a term of endearment; appropriately used while addressing both men and women. However, by the seventeenth century, the term became synonymous with addressing men!

History indicates the bullying of man; dates back hundreds or even thousands of years throughout the world! If we were to revisit the history of the world’s coming of age, we would find that slavery not only existed during biblical times, but thousands of years prior, and what is slavery, the bullying of others to do another’s will; forcibly!

History also shows us; that slavery existed even prior to the period better known as before Christ, which the timeline shows to be around 3500 B.C.E. (Before Common Era).

Within these told stories throughout history, although millions suffered traumatic indignities during such brutal periods, history reveals; that no other population suffered greater disparities under forced enslavement; or any other inhumane treatment of human beings, as did those being of dark skin that were captured, abused, and oftentimes brutally murdered, native to the continent of Africa!

The selling of Africans became extremely profitable, as did the inhumane transport of those sold to unfamiliar parts of the world, during a period better known as the Middle Passage from Africa to America!

History speaks of such horrific times; when large sailing vessels would fill their hulls with Africans forced into slavery; as being spoils of war by dominating tribes, while others became a major labor source for numerous countries around the world; and as well, the land now known as these United States!

Prior to the onslaught of the African slave trade, many who initially journeyed to the new world, including many of African descent; were not slaves! Many such Africans; were considered well to do; traveling amongst those willing to become indentured servants; as payment for safe journey to the new land, for what they thought was to be a new beginning!

For those seeking passage under an indentured servant agreement, they were to labor four to seven years in the place they would then call home; hoping they too would eventually claim shares of the new land!

Those first staking claim to the new land however, found its cultivation back breaking work; and as time progressed; landowners would quarrel heavily over rising indentured labor costs. Being a young and growing nation without a potential workforce, landowners devised a plot that would purchase Africans out right as property, believing it to be an excellent solution to their costly labor woes!

This plan of enslavement as recorded within the history books; was an entirely different form of slavery, known as chattel slavery. It allowed ownership of an African for life; while allowing the owner to do with a slave whatsoever they pleased, which more often than not included for both men and women, brandings, beatings, rape, and even murder! It also included the enslaving and selling of any children born during their period of enslavement!

Africans considered non-indentured as well as those under the initial labor agreement; were themselves unexpectedly forced into slavery; as were their counterparts arriving in chains!

Among the countries that participated in such atrocities was Latin America, France, the Dutch Slave Coast, along with many West African Kingdoms, and other countries as well!

Countries participating in the slave trade would target Africans, because they were thought of as plentiful and a much cheaper investment for supplying the world’s labor force!

In addition, those native to the continent of Africa, possessed an enhanced immune system; that warded off diseases that caused others; such as those native to the Americas and Europe, to perish!

Africans who journeyed to the new world freely; as well as those already homesteading within the new land, quickly came to realize as did their kinsmen disembarking still chained from their long journey, that they were about to face an extremely grave period within these new lands!

According to history, from the middle of the fifteenth century to the mid nineteenth century, some twelve to fifteen million Africans; had become the most precious cargo sailing on the world’s oceans, unfortunately, they were sailing under a flag of forced migration, called slavery!

With the practice of slavery then nearly worldwide, Africans suffered the abuse of chattel enslavement for 246 years in the U.S. alone, with many countries attempting rescue of an abused people; actually becoming enslavers themselves!

For those surviving the brutal journeys across many a treacherous oceans; they found themselves sold and treated as livestock, while being stripped of being treated as human beings, for profit!

Such brutality is but a glimpse as to how bullying has been a part of an inhumane culture throughout the ages!

Even while living in a period we now call the twenty first century; the practice of slavery still exists within many countries; including these United States! Although today’s version of slavery is somewhat more discreet, it has once again found a home here in American society, through means of human trafficking!

Although such exploitations usually smolder within one’s own culture, many Americans have become willing participants in joining such cultures, becoming enslavers, sellers, and purchasers!

Citizens from every part of the world while choosing to forgo the legal process of entering the United States, employ the services of those offering illegal entry into the country instead; underestimating the risk to life and freedom; from using such dangerous and unsavory methods!

Many while having hopes of escaping the detriment of their own country; willingly pay hefty fares to enter the U.S. illegally, however, many soon find themselves in situations much worse than what they thought they would leave behind, just as thousands also did that came before them!

Presently within this type of bullying, such methods vary only slightly from those used throughout history, and motives for such crimes; still remain just as it was back in olden times, overpower one’s will to resist by inflicting pain and suffering, and in some instances even death; to establish control!

Although the effects of bullying from the past and bullying today relatively remain unchanged, there is one major difference between such timelines, and that is, how such acts transpire!

Bullying today often takes place through technology, with the heaviest of such activity transcending on social media! However, with the expansion of smart technology, bullying has expanded into even more areas of our lives, by way of smart homes and smart phones, and through cyber hacking!

However, the most notable differences in such methods of bullying, is bullying today; can happen rapidly, with distribution occurring worldwide within a matter of moments!

Although vast amounts of data offers insight into a victim’s suffering at the hand of physical bullying, there are still victims who remain undercounted dealing with the mental damage of bullying, unaccounted for in most national statistics!

It is literally impossible to realize the post damage done to such individuals, because such damage continues to mutate mentally for years, after such traumatic events have occurred!

As the world embraces technology as an important tool for advancement, so does bullies!

From politicians to terrorists, the weapon of choice in reaching likeminded individuals is social media! With world unrest now reaching an all-time high and the massive draw to such events via the internet, the only feasible way of putting a stop to bullying, is through one’s own personal efforts!

Remember, in order to break a cycle of bullying, you must first find and interrupt known strategies used by the perpetrator!

If it were not for individuals taking a stand to fight against those that oppressed or bullied them, the world would probably be in even greater turmoil than what we witness today!

If we were to look back throughout history, someone finally had the courage to say, we must fight back, and so should you!

Bullying can happen anywhere and at any time! Most people who witness bullying, often times ignore opportunities to intervene; mostly out of fear of the consequences of becoming involved!

Understand that apprehension; stems from the thought of repercussion!

It is why I encourage kids and adults alike; to seek creative ways of backing down bullies; that fit one’s own level of comfort; using knowledge and perhaps physical training!

Many are often surprised when episodes of bullying go unrecognized even within our own homes! We constantly overlook obscure signs all about us; such as an uneasiness or fear during an individual’s presence, or while being privy to extended bouts of nagging, arguing, or even fighting amongst heads of households.

Others may take note as to the meekest participant; developing a sort of surrendering attitude to calm explosive situations. However, they seldom connect such behavior to bullying!

Regardless of its form, constant fighting or unprovoked confrontations, is just another tier of bullying! Such behavior is only the emotional dimensions of bullying, but remember, there are many facets to this action we call bullying!

Breaking the Bully Down by Category

If we were to examine the techniques of bullying today, much of it would fall under certain categories. Some we may know, while others remain possibly unrealized.

Under such categories, most will witness or experience some form of bullying during their lifetime! How many forms of bullying have you come to recognize!

Social Bullying – Is the foregoing of common decency, as a way to torment or create mayhem! This type of bullying; takes what one see’s as an imperfection; and uses it to trigger hostilities, embarrassment, or even abuse! In reality however, within this particular type of bullying, such actions are merely about trying to rectify past circumstances; that the bully themselves had little or no control of; by emulating the nemesis of their own lives!

Corporate Bullying – In the world of business, corporations; and small businesses alike, exploit employees and the consumer; in order to create, produce, or expand a company’s goals; consistent with driving profit! Such tactics; are only a means to an end for accelerating greed! This type of bullying; is about seeing how much of a fine line a business can walk; before calling attention to itself or, before criminal mischief comes into play!

A prime