Coronavirus: 6Wks 2D Day

By Ricky Adlam

No sooner have the twin kids moved out of the nest, the Coronavirus threat has ended, and the parents are getting a

long-awaited divorce in exactly six weeks, time. Although their widowed parent lawyers instruct the two to be good

mature puppies, they begin to play pranks on one another, trying to push the other's buttons in order to get it all, not

fifty-fifty, when D (divorce) day finally arrives. It's a comedic filled divorce comedy from start to finish with a liitle short

naration added before each chapter. The balding kitchen parrot adds fuel to the family comedic fire and to reading fun.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ricky Adlam
• Release date: Aug 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393947288

Ricky Adlam

Ricky Adlam has a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical & Industrial Engineering with a background in Electrical Technology. He has working experience as a News Anchorman, a Weatherman, a TV Comedy Writer, a Senior Aerospace Project Engineer, an Aerospace Systems Engineer, an Industrial Engineer, and a Senior Nuclear Project Engineer. He has also performed Big Band songs at numerous Mayfair Music Festivals. He played rhythm guitar as a member of the Wabash Country Band. Ricky likes to write music, screenplays, and comedy novels. He usually writes a screenplay first and then uses it to create his finished novel. Ricky’s comedy-oriented writing makes his stories fun, fast reading books, which are available as e-books and in hardcover. Adventures at Top Tractor Academy was his first creation. Following that was 12 Monkeys on a Bus, then Twitzy & Ditzy, then SOS Cruise-Lines, then House Shoes, then The Tall Man, then Return of Pitt the Pirate, then Pet Town, then STAR 999 Down, and then Coronavirus-6WKS 2D DAY. Each of his stories are unique creations on their own with no follow-up volumes. Ricky Adlam hopes that these popular unique books continue to be read by young and old adults. It should be mentioned, that as a youth, Ricky Adlam was always outside playing Baseball, Football, Basketball, Stickball, Handball and Hockey. He intends to write comedy action sports stories in the future to be placed in school and local libraries throughout the United States.

Book preview

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Coronavirus - 6Wks 2D Day

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CHAPTER ONE: HOME SWEET HOME

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NARRATOR: There is no place like home. That is, in dream land, but not in the Humper dumper household now that the Coronavirus has gotten a travel outside green light everywhere in the world.

It’s morning and we see red headed PAUL HUMPER rise out of bed and stretch his arms. He rips off has paper face mask. He looks admiringly at a picture of his wife on the side table. He smiles. He lays the picture down flat.  He strides into the bathroom. He turns on his electric shaver and soon he is done. The clock CD radio goes off and cheerful music fills the air. The shaver is turned off and then the toilet flushes. Paul exits the bathroom. He removes his comical pajamas in his walk-in closet. A tie flies out onto the bed. He exits the closet in a shirt, suit and red sneakers.

In the next room, pretty wife Nancy is dressed in pink pajamas. Her bathrobe is lying on bed. In seconds she is down the steps in her white rabbit ear slippers. A breakfast bell rings out in the distance air. It rings once more. Then we hear thumping teenage feet moving about the second floor. A bathroom door slams twice down the hall. It slams once more and a toilet then flushes. Two room doors slam at almost the same time. All then goes silent.

In the kitchen, NANCY HUMPER is additionally dressed in an apron. She is tossing pancakes onto four white plates with pictures of hummingbirds drawn in the center. We see utensil table settings have been laid out. Mother glances at a calendar, then tosses a protective face mask into the trash bin. Briefly, she smiles. Next, mother feeds a cracker to her balding pet parrot, PISSMORE, who’s perched clinging to his stick swing in the center of his cage. From off the table, she places the hot cooking pan back onto the stove. The orange juice comes out of refrigerator. Glasses are poured and the bottle is tossed back. She sits down, dead faced and not cracking so much as a tiny smile.

In walks Paul. He looks at Pissmore, then sits at the table. Nancy gets not a smile or quick hug.  She gets off her seat and then sits down, directly opposite of Paul. Neither parents look directly at each other. Next we hear thumps down the steps. Young, sexy blonde CHARLENE enters the kitchen with her laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She kisses her red headed mom on cheek, then sits down. Charlene pinches Dad on the arm. He flinches. She grins. He grins. Just then, another set of thumps is heard. Dads son, a crew cut, blonde Adonis named CHARLIE, enters kitchen. He slaps hands with Dad, smiles at mom, sister points at her watch just as her brother sits down. Without any further actions, everyone begins buttering their pancakes and toast. Charlie pours molasses on his food first. Charlene pushes her plate away and just drinks her juice.

Both parents begin to eat, no smiles, no expressions. The kids sit silent and smile at each other. In a minute, each one is done eating some of the food in front of them. The kids rise to leave. Young Charlene speaks to her mother. Glad the Coronavirus thing is over. Boy! I’m going to miss all you’re really fattening food, Mom. A message on my cell phone said that my new apartment is now empty and ready. Perfect timing. I start teaching college math in Vegas on Monday. Now I can finally leave home. - - - I’m so excited. By the way, Ted’s taking me to New York next month, hopefully to celebrate his new job as well. He starts pro-football camp at Hofstra next week. Dads eyebrows rise. I told Dad that he would make the JETS new roster. So, you and Charlie lost that bet. Mom? Listen to me. Don’t call me tonight, I have so much to unpack, then to get things ready for next week.  Dad? My furnished room has been germ cleaned thoroughly.  Don’t bother my landlord with a call. She smiles at brother.

Brother Charlie bites the rest of his toast and nods. Mom dampens her eyes with a napkin, then tenderly smiles. Charlene hugs Mom, then her brother. She sticks her tongue at Dad. He smiles. Winks twice. She looks away and smiles, then turns then blows him a goodbye kiss. Charlene leaves through the rear screen door to the garage. Charlie clears his throat and rises to his feet. Well I’m off too. I never thought I’d get the Hollywood writing job. Distant Uncle Ted said his spare room in downtown LA is mine, for as long as I want it. Well Dad, I’m out of here too. You two can sell my furniture. Uncle Teds place is furnished nicely. - - - Dad. In the end, I’ll make more dough than Charlene’s meat-head football jock. -—Adios y-all. No more, bad COVID-19 news.  I can finally drive my car again. Charlie bumps Dads elbow, then gives Mom a quick kiss on the cheek. He then promptly exits the kitchen, car keys in hand. The  screen door slams twice. Both young adult’s cars are parked in the driveway. They can be seen through the kitchen front window. Charlie gets into his shiny black pickup truck. Charlene starts her sports car. She gives the finger toward the house. She toots her twice at Charlie and  then turns up her radio. She gives the finger at house again. Charlie starts his truck. He turns up his radio. He then gives the finger at the house, eager to get away from the Corona-virus prison. He toots six times. Gives the finger" at house again. Smiles over at his sister. Both back out of the two-car driveway fast and curve into a single file onto the street. As both pull away, an ear deafening screech and loud rumbling can be heard. All goes dead silent in the kitchen. Only the clock ticking away on the wall can be heard. After several seconds, the ticking gradually grows louder, like a bomb, second by second. Each parent’s eyes looking back and forth, looking from her to him and him to her. Mother bears a smile until the toaster pops off. Her friendly expression disappears. A mad frown quickly appears. Dads face does the same. She turns her face towards her parrot.

Pissmore breaks the ice, Kids Gone! Kids Gone. -—Awk! -—Dynamite, dynamite. Awk! - - - Hide away. Hide away. The parrot tucks his face under a wing. His  feathers quiver back and forth.

Nancy turns about in her seat, facing Paul. Her pink stern face has now grown white cold. Paul retains his red faced, serious expression. Each viciously grabs up a fork in their hand. The forks rise high in the air, as if they are going to attack each other. Their arms viciously reach skyward. Then both extended arms calmly lower, then lower, then lower.  Paul speaks first, "Well the twins have left the nest. The state corona-virus rules are over for now. I think we can stop the charade and end this whole damn thing that we do, Nancy. Might be that the kids know what’s happening next between us. I can clearly say that it was hell staying home with you but it’s all over now. I am free, or at least will soon be truly free of you, bitch.

Nancy folds her arms to speak, It ended years ago, dog face. I can’t wait for D day to arrive in six weeks, time. The sooner I’m rid of you, the better I’ll feel. Our divorce can’t get here fast enough for me as well. He lunges out. She lunges out. Both forks stab a center plate sausage. It breaks in two as both retract their forks. Paul takes a viscous bite first. She then does the same. They viciously chew their meat, eyes winced, eyebrows raised.

All calms down as Paul speaks, "My dear. -—You cooked this sausage well. Nancy, I’ll miss your cooking and - and - that’s about all I‘ll miss, dear overbearing wife. He stares down.

She chews her sausage slower now. "Mm. -—It really tastes good. -—I did do a nice job. Enjoy it, you cook your own meals from now on pouting Paul. This small sausage reminds me of what a part of you that I don’t want to see ever again.  He stares at her half-bitten sausage. She stares at him, frowns. For a moment, he looks back at her, then he looks away and grits his teeth. From that point on, they talk, but only look at the tiny sausage on their forks, not at each other.

I’m keeping my father as my Attorney, the lonely widower. Paul states.

I’ll stick with my widowed Attorney mother. She set the court date, yesterday. We’ll tell the kids sometime afterward. We agreed that the Coronavirus left and, and, so will you.

Hmm. Yes. I’m sorry about your father’s passing. The funeral in Hawaii was the only nice thing this marriage got me. That silver lining saying must be a little bit true.  Silver like your hair under that fake looking wig. Your mother lent that rag piece to you, right?

"I’m sorry your bitch of a mother died so fast. Attending her funeral was the most wonderful moment in my life as well. I was upset that she didn’t suffer longer. I spit on her face before I closed the coffin lid you know. Phlegm