Twitzy & Ditzy

By Ricky Adlam

The story of two, accident prone, immature and naive teenage girls, Twitzy and Ditzy, who are looking for that first date with any teenage boys of the opposite sex.

In an effort to please two handsome brothers living next door (gay models), Twitzy and Ditzy venture around town with their pets: Arnie (Arnold), the aardvark and Skippy, the skunk. With the good intention of returning two letters to the twin gay neighbors, they turn the town upside down wherever they go, all day long.  Their Nanny, bullish Mrs. Popelwitz, adds comic protagonist zest to the comedy and pet calamity. Twitzy and Ditzy eventually win over two more suitably matched boys, Twiddle and Diddle, during their first real date when they bravely protect them from a hoodlum-robber (Home Alone style). You laugh along with the girls and at them, as they and their pets take you from one mad hilarious experience to another.  One can only summarize this one-day story adventure as a day filled with comedic surprises, slapstick humor, first love, adolescent romance, minor hate, high danger, pet kindness, unwiting heroism and well erned good reward.  All in all, this is a story Grandma will enjoy reading to her daughters and Granddaughters for years to come. 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ricky Adlam
• Release date: Aug 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393120025

Ricky Adlam

Ricky Adlam has a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical & Industrial Engineering with a background in Electrical Technology. He has working experience as a News Anchorman, a Weatherman, a TV Comedy Writer, a Senior Aerospace Project Engineer, an Aerospace Systems Engineer, an Industrial Engineer, and a Senior Nuclear Project Engineer. He has also performed Big Band songs at numerous Mayfair Music Festivals. He played rhythm guitar as a member of the Wabash Country Band. Ricky likes to write music, screenplays, and comedy novels. He usually writes a screenplay first and then uses it to create his finished novel. Ricky’s comedy-oriented writing makes his stories fun, fast reading books, which are available as e-books and in hardcover. Adventures at Top Tractor Academy was his first creation. Following that was 12 Monkeys on a Bus, then Twitzy & Ditzy, then SOS Cruise-Lines, then House Shoes, then The Tall Man, then Return of Pitt the Pirate, then Pet Town, then STAR 999 Down, and then Coronavirus-6WKS 2D DAY. Each of his stories are unique creations on their own with no follow-up volumes. Ricky Adlam hopes that these popular unique books continue to be read by young and old adults. It should be mentioned, that as a youth, Ricky Adlam was always outside playing Baseball, Football, Basketball, Stickball, Handball and Hockey. He intends to write comedy action sports stories in the future to be placed in school and local libraries throughout the United States.

Book preview

TWITZY AND DITZY

by

Ricky Adlam

TWITZY & DITZY

by

Ricky Adlam

TWITZY AND DITZY

INDEX

CHAPTER ONE:   ADVENTURING HOME 

CHAPTER TWO:   GETTING GOOD AND READY

CHAPTER THREE:  TRAVEL READY TRAVELERS

CHAPTER FOUR:   THE BUS TERMINAL & HELIPORT

CHAPTER FIVE:   YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY

CHAPTER SIX:   THE AIRPORT MALL EXPERIENCE

CHAPTER SEVEN:  TAXI RIDE FUN

CHAPTER EIGHT:  THE NEW NEIGHBORS

CHAPTER NINE:  DATE NIGHT ADVENTURES

CHAPTER TEN:  PIZZA SHOP FUN

CHAPTER ELEVEN: BANK ROBBER BLUE

CHAPTER TWELVE: A NICE HEROES REWARD

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AUTHOR’s BIO Info.

TWITZY AND DITZY

By

Ricky Adlam

SOMETIMES, WALKING BACKWARDS CAN MOVE THINGS FORWARD IN LIFE.

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CHAPTER ONE: ADVENTURING HOME

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An Oriental looking teenage girl dressed in a yellow, gym sweat suit exits a subway car carrying a large radio in her arms. Its playing very loudly the Manford Mann song, Here she comes just a walk'en down the street, singing do-wah-dittie dittie-dum-dittie-dum. The music covers over the subway car noise. She runs up the stairway to the street with ease, taking two steps at a time. She is gone before the crowd follows. Simple to do, right? Not always.

Two oddly dressed TEENAGE GIRLS exit a city subway car followed by the crowd. One girl is dressed in bright orange attire, holding a watermelon, the other is dressed in bright green clothes, holding a brown grocery bag. The eager young girls attempt to climb the exit stairway rising to the street above, walking two steps at a time. Halfway up they stumble and hobble down the steps, knocking into a dozen well-dressed people wearing business suits. The girls slide down the side hand rails. They roll backwards and flop down onto their bottoms. The fast-moving crowd steps around and over the girls who are quivering with outstretched legs and arms. The teens get, kicked, and stomped all over, again, and again.

Additional entering people coming down the steps, frown at the two as they pass around them. The girls grab the side rails and rise to their feet. Both take a deep breath and bite down on their lower lips. They are determined to climb up the cement steps going two steps at a time if it kills them trying.

The tall girl, TWITZY, pulls on her long, twisted braids briefly. Her poorly woven braids are in different lengths. One braid, dangles over her face, blocking her vision as she heads back up the steps first, leading the way onward while shaking her purple and green hair about. Twitzy wears one black shoe and one red sneaker which hinders her efforts. She stomps her feet one step at a time in a maddening fashion. She holds onto her green watermelon tightly, both arms. Her large orange polka-dotted pocketbook dangles about her waist. Her black & gold painted fingernails, are sunk deeply into the Rhine of the green watermelon. She grunts with each double step she takes.

The second shorter girl, DITZY, follows from behind, upwards. Her chin length, bright red, slanted hair bangs, wave up and down as she follows behind, holding the fully packed brown grocery bag to her chest. Her green striped combat boots squeak as she tromps up each step. One boot has pink bedroom slipper, fuzzy stuff stuck to the back heel. The other boot is missing a heel causing her to limp. Her protruding upper teeth cause an overbite, which is seen by all. One front tooth is slightly longer than the other to make things look worse. Fortunately, neither teenage girl’s wear glasses.

Twitzy’s can hardly see her way upward. Ditzy follows too close behind, bumping Twitzy’s ass frequently as they attempt to rise to street level. Each clumsy girl is wearing mismatched, spotted high socks with a wide striped silver belt. At street level, Twitzy stops, points down and shouts, Ditzy, we are on the wrong side of the street. We got to go back down, under and around. Jeepers! Creepers!

Ditzy looks up the steps, then yells back, Twitzy, you are going to give me gallstones someday! She follows Twitzy down the subway steps as she passes by along with her large watermelon.

Twitzy and Ditzy run haphazardly from the bottom of the subway stairway. They stumble into the entrance turnstile where there are barred exit doors to take which allow persons to walk around under the street to the other side above, but neither girl notices the huge signs nor takes the easy route.

Twitzy franticly shoves a coin in the turnstile slot. She goes full around one turn and then puts money in again. She repeats this action four times, then decides to crawl under it. Ditzy jumps wildly over the wheel, which hits her groin as she falls over and rolls up to her feet, holding her grocery bag tightly and her groin. Both girls gasp deep breaths of air for a moment, half bent over.

Suddenly, Twitzy’s watermelon slides loose and rolls away. Several people on the subway walkway trip and fall over it. She crawls about after it. The round melon rolls a good distance before Twitzy catches up to it. The subway crowd applaud her, then move on.

Twitzy grabs up the green melon, rises, slips, then bumps into two tourists dragging unicycles along. The melon slips away again. It smashes into a dozen Chinese tourists standing behind the girls. They all fall-down, like bowling pins. Twitzy rushes up and clutches onto her green watermelon for dear life, Whoa!

Next, Ditzy gets turned about and walks through the exit doors backwards into the arriving morning crowd, ending back at the entrance turnstiles. She shakes her head and climbs over the wooden wings. Somehow, she gets her legs caught over the x-shaped turnstile wings. She hobbles around in a full circle, then finally falls off on the other side. Eight people stop to clap their hands. Ditzy rises and bows twice, holding her grocery bag up into the air. After she lowers her bag, she falls back through the turnstile onto the platform side, right where she originally started. In the distance, a subway cop watches, shaking his head in disbelief at their shenanigans.

A ten-year old city boy arrives in front of Ditzy. He places a coin in the turnstile and goes through with no effort. Ditzy watches and frowns. She hears Twitzy whistle, then hobbles holding her groin with one hand and food bag with the other. Both girls look disheveled and totally lost in thought.

Now the distant policeman approaches the teens to help them out. The girls stare up at him, eyes wide open. The officer simply opens the metal exit doors with one hand so both girls can pass through. He taps the door sign with his night stick. They read the sign that says exit in large red capital letters. Then the girls move calmly through the exit door.

Up the steps to street level the colorful girls hobble. A half-empty city bus arrives at the curb. Both girls wait by the opening bus door. A small crowd exits, both girls get knocked about but somehow, they get into the city bus. They enter and sit next to a drunken derelict. The bus moves onward. The drunk leans over and breathes on the two of them. Both girls begin to choke from his awful breath. After only two short blocks the bus stops to let on more passengers.

A police officer standing on the corner, watches the girls attempt to exit the bus. The girls collide together on the front landing attempting to step off the bus. The bus doors close hard and tight. Twitzy and Ditzy stand still, frozen, pinned in place by the bus door, nose to nose. The indecisive girls hang half in and half out of the fast moving, city bus as it pulls away from the curb. People waiting here and there on the sidewalk stare as the two girls pass by, half hanging off the bus. The teenage bodies brush by trees and pole flags extended out from the curbside. The next corner Policeman lifts his whistle up blows hard on it. He turns his head away just as the bus passes by him.

Moments later, the bus arrives three long blocks down and stops. We see both teenage females still standing inside the bus, fully clothed until the doors finally open wide.  Twitzy carefully unlocks her protruding lower teeth from Ditzy’s upper teeth with a squeal and pop from the overbite verses under-bite. Everyone in the bus flinches upon hearing this irritating noise. The bus driver looks back and falls off his seat, then gets back on it. He sticks a pinky finger in his right ear and rotates it about. The girls stand frozen in place and blink excessively. The drunk rises to his feet next. He coughs repeatedly and moves to another seat. The girls blinking finally stops.

Twitzy and Ditzy exit the bus. Twitzy followed by Ditzy. People on the sidewalk notice their half missing clothes which were shredded away. They point at them and laugh as the two travel onward. Half of each girl’s underwear and bras are visible. Their shredded street clothes are hanging from tree limbs and signs down the block, torn off when they passed by hanging off the bus. Twitzy and Ditzy hobble onward towards home, through the laughing street crowd. They stick their tongues out at everyone who passes. Then both can't get them back inside their open, dry mouths as they stumble along. Several local school kids take cell phone pictures of them. Two paperboys spit at them and ride off down the sidewalk. Everyone can see Twitzy’s red striped under pants and Ditzy’s poke-a-dotted long-johns. Each girl’s braziers are visibly decorated with colorful mini-smiley faces. Finally, both female journeyers turn the corner heading closer to their twin connected, two story town homes, situated in the middle of the block.

At last, Twitzy and Ditzy arrive home. Both teens are exhausted from shopping for things they really didn’t need. They stumble up the smooth marble steps into their well-kept brownstone entrance way. There, they fall over each other and land on the carpet entrance way. They slip over a pile of morning mail that flew through the mail slot onto the floor. The half-clothed teens flop down loudly on the lobby floor, thud-thud. Boom! Boom! They lie, tired, lifeless. Each girl’s arms and legs remain fully spread out. A moment of silence passes. while they recoup from their early morning journey, Suddenly, a Grand-father clock rings out with a loud gong. The girls, squirm about, scattering the mail pile about the floor to the left and right. It’s a mess of mostly local junk mail.

Twitzy crawls off Ditzy. She stands up, grasping tightly onto two bright yellow envelopes. Just then, a stocky looking cleaning lady and Nanny, named Mrs. Popelwitz, arrives from out of nowhere. She points at the girls, shaking her head as she slams the open front door shut. Bam!

I thought I heard you two arrive home. I believe this Fed-Ex letter, which arrived today while you were out and about, is for Ditzy face.

Twitzy asks, "I guess you finished your cleaning Mrs. Poplewitz? Huh? What’s new?’

Mrs. Popelwitz rolls her eyes back while she