Return of Pitt the Pirate

By Ricky Adlam

 A telepathic news reporter is assigned to search for Pirate Pitt's Treasure in Australia, while his telepathic, Pirate dressed twin brother attempts to capture a dangerous group of dope dealing gangsters during Halloween week in NY City.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ricky Adlam
• Release date: Mar 14, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393552888

Ricky Adlam

Ricky Adlam has a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical & Industrial Engineering with a background in Electrical Technology. He has working experience as a News Anchorman, a Weatherman, a TV Comedy Writer, a Senior Aerospace Project Engineer, an Aerospace Systems Engineer, an Industrial Engineer, and a Senior Nuclear Project Engineer. He has also performed Big Band songs at numerous Mayfair Music Festivals. He played rhythm guitar as a member of the Wabash Country Band. Ricky likes to write music, screenplays, and comedy novels. He usually writes a screenplay first and then uses it to create his finished novel. Ricky’s comedy-oriented writing makes his stories fun, fast reading books, which are available as e-books and in hardcover. Adventures at Top Tractor Academy was his first creation. Following that was 12 Monkeys on a Bus, then Twitzy & Ditzy, then SOS Cruise-Lines, then House Shoes, then The Tall Man, then Return of Pitt the Pirate, then Pet Town, then STAR 999 Down, and then Coronavirus-6WKS 2D DAY. Each of his stories are unique creations on their own with no follow-up volumes. Ricky Adlam hopes that these popular unique books continue to be read by young and old adults. It should be mentioned, that as a youth, Ricky Adlam was always outside playing Baseball, Football, Basketball, Stickball, Handball and Hockey. He intends to write comedy action sports stories in the future to be placed in school and local libraries throughout the United States.

Book preview

RETURN OF PITT THE PIRATE  By Ricky Adlam

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CHAPTER ONE – PITT THE PIRATE

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A wooden sailing ship, the Maiden Flower, cutting through the sea waves in the distance. A single cannon blast, then the scene shifts ahead to another wooden ship. It begins to spin and sink as water enters the hole in its side. Soon the ships mast sinks under the sea and all is calm. Captain Pitt, dressed in his red Pirate coat and ruffled white shirt, lowers his metal telescope, then ties it with a golden string, onto a larger rope hanging  from the sail above him and his Cook named Cookie. A sailor in the crow’s nest pulls up the telescope for his own use. Captain Pitt watches it rise-up momentarily.

She should have let us board her and not run. The wind is not in her favor. Oh well! We did what was right and fed the little fishes her crew. Those dressers and spinets will get a favorable sum back in Saint Louis and Philadelphia. Don’t you agree with me Cookie? The Pirate smiles as he looks over the stern towards the French cargo ship he just sank. A swirl of sharks, swim just above the surface bubbles.

Cookie walks up alongside the Captain. He raises his hand, holding a leather-bound book in the other hand. Resting above his right ear rests a large pencil. 

I found a nice writing tool in the French Captains private room. I took down everything he said as he walked the plank. His tears wet the deck all along the way. It’s all in my diary, Captain in French, in German and in Spanish. Well. Actually, dear  Pitt, it’s mostly in Portuguese. No other person who’s not as invited to read it can make no full sense of it. That’s the fun I gets of writing it down. Ah-har!

Captain Pitt bends over and looks Cookie in the eyes. Cookie pouts as a hand rests on his shoulder. Dear Cookie, the crying French Captain wasn’t dripping tears down as he walked the wooden plank. He was merely wetting his pants all along the way. I fear he was the only one in his crew who couldn’t swim. Cookie grins. 

I better note that in me diary Captain. Cookie grins. His two missing teeth make it hard for Captain Pitt not to smile.

Yes, your-ah clever partner eyes got for a buddy and that’s why we’ve gotten along for so many long years. Your writing and cooking with my navigation and taunt-ty taunt with a blade. Tis a good combo. Ha! Ha!

The Cook lifts a short, sharp knife out of his pants belt. See his here blade. You simply carry’s the big knife Captain, and I Carry’s this small one that does the smart cutting for cooking. It’s a nice combination. If we ever get caught, don’t hesitate to make me headless. I don’t like torture.

The Captain looks over the horizon and mutters a few words back to Cookie. Dear boy, they never kill the Cook. You are the only one safe from capture and torture onboard. As long, as none of us tell how we got lots of French furniture, we will remain Pirate Ghosts with no big bounty on our heads.

Cookie now looks over the horizon. Well this will never make you famous Captain. The diary is just me hobby to keep me sane on theses long trips, you see. I see a ship now. It was following the French bastards we just sank.

The Captain nods as he stares along the horizon. "Hmm. Eyes just knows I’ll never be a Diamond Pitt, or a Prime-Minister William Pitt, or Doctor Pitt like me dear, twin brothers in Richmond. That be right. But now there, Cookie, I’m content

to play out me part as I am here. A treasure in furniture is fine money. If we turn in all the values we find, then they will know what we’ve been up to. Not worth taking the chance. Ask any crew mate. That’s why I share it all even."

Captain Pitt walks to the side rail and waves Cookie over. He whispers in confidence to his buddy. It’s a Pirate ship I see a headed this way. They must think we are the French Ship. Lower the flag and raise the French one. We’ll have some fun.

Cookie stands still. He waves to another crew mate. He points to the flag hanging above and indicates pulling it down. He makes like he’s sniffing snuff and up to the crow’s nest above. The fag comes down in a jiffy and a replacement is promptly hauled up high.

It’s done Captain Pitt. You don’t seem to happy. What’s up?

Pitt straightens his hat and looks his mate in the eyes once more. He cups his hands to whisper to Cookie as the wind picks up, I’ve decided to let this be my last voyage and move up to New Amsterdam, bout Manhattan area near the Hudson seaport. Just ain’t in me no more to do sailing. You take our extra treasure we can’t trade in and then sends me my split, or I will visit you to pick it up someday later. Now keep this under your brim.

Cookie rests on the rail and puckers his lips. He removes his cap, the pulls it back on tight. He takes a big gulp and squints down at his tattered boots. Funny that me, name’s Cook and I’m a cook. Captain, I’ll be headed back to good old Queensland and me Kangaroos to open-up a restaurant by the sea. The crew will get what’s of the last loot that ain’t French or Spanish?

Captain Pitt tightens his belt and walks to the center of the deck as the Pirate ship pulls alongside, looking ready to board. They can sell the ship and split the profits as that is right fairest to do. All other profits this be split fair included the distinctive silver and gold trinkets. We’d be a headed home to Richmond right soon. We are pretty loaded down with taken-s, Cookie. Just enough room for a few more taken-s .

Cookie winks at the Captain. He smiles, patting his back.

A sailor about shouts down, Ship ahoy! Off starboard bow. She’s ... loaded down and ready to board. He falls into a rope net and appears to look dead. The Captain snaps his finger and the telescope is flung down. He catches it with one hand. He smiles at Cookie. Cookie takes out his pencil and begins to write in his book.

A sailor behind the wheel ties up, then falls to the deck. A voice from the other end of the ship yells out. I’m looking really dead Captain.

Pitt peers through the telescope scope and then shouts. Good! Good going Charlie. She’s pulling alongside. Captain Pitt cocks his hat and kneels. Look like a sickly crew of little sick gentlemen. Hide yeah weapons till I gives the signal aloud. Let them board us. These are Pirates of the south. I see no, well dressed seamen on board. It’s just... ah.. Ha! We want to take the ship and bring it home as heroes. Heroes we be this voyage, partners. Remember to keep the deck clean of any

those pirate rats as best ye can. - - - Moan a little, boys."

Quickly the pirate sailors yell out as they scurry about the ship tying it up, side by side. A dozen men kneel with hopeless, fake fear expressions, holding their stomach as the uninvited Pirates board. Soon the leader is on deck and walking over to greet the kneeling, shaking Captain Pitt. A worried look of fear covers Pirate Pitt’s face. His head tilts down and eyes peek up from under his dark red three corner hat with gold trim along the edges. He points at the Captain with both hand in a pray position. The Pirate Captain spits in his face, then laughs. The other pirates on board quickly laugh along.

Captain Pitt raises his right arm out just as the leader looks away to inspect the sick looking crew. He walks up and down the extremely clean deck, then turns to signal his crew on the other ship. Above in the crow’s nest, a sword is tossed down. It falls silently unseen like a spear, landing in the Captain Pitt’s outstretched hand. He raises it even higher.

Without warning, Captain Pitt runs down the right and then left side of the deck slicing off the heads of ten men. Then the

sarcastic Pirate leaders head and six more pirates who just boarded from hanging ropes. Pitt’s crew stand up and watch, swords drawn. The heads fall in order as the pirates freeze in place displaying full disbelief. The Maiden Flowers crewmen turn and face the other ship, then grab their boarding ropes and swing over to fight and take it over.

Captain Pitt shouts out loud, Go get the honeybees, boys. Get’em all. Watches for them that tries to flee. No small boats aloud to leave. They swim or drown now, fellow rats that they be will now feed the hungry fishes.

Suddenly each man pulls out his hidden weapon and thrusts it into the nearest body on the other ship.  As the bodies fall,

they get silently tossed overboard. Heads bounce and roll about along its deck. Shouting by both crews add to the excitement. No crying is heard as the invading crew is outnumbered and savagely done away with in short time. Once everything is over, a few loud farts are heard in the silence. Cookie yells out to all, That’s my good cooking that causes that. Remember it well. The crew laughs, then that is followed by splashes as the Pirate Pitts crewmates toss the dead men overboard with no compassion on their faces. All goes deadly quiet. On the Maiden Flower, Cookie and the Captain drop put away their weapons. They scurry to lift and dump the remaining, headless corpses up in the air and overboard. Above in the crows-nest, the French flag lowers an American flag rises-up in its place. Across the way, a man climbs up and cuts the Pirate flag loose. It slides down and off the vessel, sinking into the shark infested waters.

Back on deck, Cookie the Cook bags the leaders head in an empty leather sack. Charlie, the navigator, kicks eleven of the twelve heads up and overboard, leaving the last one, the leaders head, for Cookie to hand over to the Captain, who ritually pulls out a few teeth, then makes a string necklace which he later gives to a female Wench on shore. Pirate Pitt often tells them that its dangerous shark teeth. They then wear it everywhere they go. The crew watches silently as Cookie hands the sack over to the Captain. Every other man smirk’s, to himself.

Pitt pulls out two teeth, then takes two big steps and boots the sack way overboard. The circular bag splashes as it