My So-Called Horrifying Life: Phil Toledano
I’m standing on a street corner in New York City’s Chinatown, looking for a guy who looks like the Phil Toledano I’ve seen online. It’s harder than it sounds, because the photographer—who’s known for shooting celebs like Alec Baldwin, Bill Hader, Alan Cumming and Jerry Seinfeld, as well as covers for The Atlantic, The New York Times Magazine and New York—recently turned the camera on himself, transforming his mischievous good looks into absolute catastrophe for his new book, Maybe. In one photo, Toledano is a sweaty, balding drunk. In another, an aging creep with gray mutton chops. From wheelchair-bound, baggy-pant-wearing octogenarian to Bernie Madoff look-alike getting hauled off by the FBI, he spent the last three years marinating in the many ways his life could go horribly wrong.
Toledano’s professional flirtation with cruel fates began in the mid-2000s, when his mother, father, aunt and uncle died in the span of a few years, leaving him terrified of his future. Instead of retaining the services of a psychoanalyst like most neurotic New Yorkers, he chose to live out those fears in excruciating detail. He tested his DNA and learned he’s at risk for heart disease and obesity. Visits with psychics and fortune tellers unearthed more grim outlooks: alcoholism and suicide. He then teamed up with a makeup and prosthetics specialist, a stylist and actors to create masks and scenes that brought these depressing scenarios to life. The result is , a stunning look at the
