Lessons From A Life In Motion

By Jennifer Wegrzyn and Dean McAlister

Jenn Wegrzyn (Podcast Interviewer-UrStoria) and Dean McAlister discuss various professional development principles and their application in this conversation turned manuscript. Dean inspires and gives you concrete resources with achievable steps to grow in your personal and professional life. Don't try to plan your professional development for the upcoming year without reading this book. Questions at the end of every chapter help you to digest the information and make an action plan to move forward. A must-read for anyone that enjoys learning and professional development no matter if you are an individual contributor or CEO.

Join us a we explore the origins and rationale behind Dean's favorite quotes such as, "No second meeting" and "I'd rather be bad than average because at least you differentiate yourself" and finally "People who follow you will never go farther than they see their leader go." His no non-sense approach to performance and development is legendary. Grow with us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543995855

Book preview

Lessons From A Life In Motion

Jenn Wegrzyn & Dean McAlister

ISBN (Print Edition): 978-1-54399-584-8

ISBN (eBook Edition): 978-1-54399-585-5

© 2019. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

LESSONS FROM A LIFELINE WHAT IS YOUR LEGACY?

I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT VARIABLE IN CHANGE DEALING WITH CHANGE

IS ANYONE FOLLOWING ME? CREATING FOLLOWERSHIP

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT: REINVENTION OR ATROPHY - YOUR CHOICE

FAILURE AS A STEP TO SUCCESS

GUT INSTINCT VS. OVER-ANALYSIS

HIRING TALENT AND DEVELOPING SKILL VS. HIRING SKILL AND HOPING THERE IS TALENT REMAINING

INTRODUCTION

I was driving along the interstate when it happened. I was completely blindsided. I had just graduated with a Masters Degree, I was thirty years old, was in a loving relationship and had a bright future ahead of me. I was uncertain as far as how I would apply my new graduate degree in Sport and Exercise Psychology, but, I knew as far as many graduate degrees go, I wasn’t the exception but more the rule. This uncertainty; however, wasn’t weighing on my mind. I had just dropped my resume off at a government organization that I really didn’t want to work at, but, figured it was a job and I had student loans to be paid — a lot of them.

As I’m driving I feel my body break out into a sweat all over, my face is flushed, my heart starts racing as if I’ve just finished a 100 m dash and I’m finding it hard to breathe. But I’m just sitting in my car — driving. I’m not nervous about anything. I can feel my pulse beating through my eyes. It’s unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The pinnacle of this experience, if that is what you want to call it, is that I began to feel like I was in a movie. I’m not sure if it was the motion, a feeling of a stoppage of time or that I was watching as an observer as my body is experiencing these sensations while still in disbelief that it was actually happening. Maybe it was a combination of all three. You see, I had always been a healthy person, ate healthy, exercised a lot and knew my body very well. It was one of the things that I felt I could count on. This sensation was in no way comfortable, welcome or expected.

I started to wonder if this was the beginning of the end. Was I having a heart attack? My grandfather was diagnosed with Schizophrenia after the Korean War... is this the beginning of that mental disease for me? More than anything what stung was the sense of betrayal that I felt toward my body and mind. I’d backpacked in Europe, jumped out of an airplane and moved far away from family and friends to pursue a Masters Degree in Exercise and Sport Psychology. I did the right things in respect to diet and exercise and this is what happens?

Maybe some of you are reading this and know exactly what I’m describing because it’s happened to you before. I learned later that I had my first panic attack. Unfortunately it wasn’t one and done. I went on to be plagued with panic for the next couple of years. At one point I almost became agoraphobic. I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with leaving my house. Driving was the worst. A wave of panic would engulf me whenever I was stuck in traffic, going over a bridge or far from my home. The thought of anxiety defining my boundaries depressed me. The idea that I would live my life like this for the rest of my life made me deeply sad. The despair and frustration was dark and deeper than anything I’d ever felt before or felt since. I remember one night when panic woke me out of a sound sleep, I leaned onto my forearms on my kitchen counter completely exhausted of the non-stop cycle of my body sensations telling me I’m in trouble and I’m going to die — run from the dinosaur — but, knowing in my mind that everything is fine. I went from thinking about a bright future and having so many plans and optimistic thoughts to drastically self-imposing limits on my abilities and my potential. I remember thinking — If I have to live the rest of my life like this, I don’t want to. My eyes shifted ahead to the kitchen knives on the counter. I could end the cycle. That would put an end to the non-stop cycle of panic, the insomnia, the disappointment in myself. Would I be able to do it? Could I ever pierce my skin and watch the blood come out and say good bye to this place, this body? Ultimately, the answer was no. The thought of committing suicide, the fact that I even considered it, made me wonder who I was becoming. I stayed leaning over the counter with my head between my forearms, warm tears streaming down my face and realized that I had a choice to make - I can either live my life like I had been with my world becoming smaller and smaller or I can choose life. Living meant leaving my house, driving in traffic and going over bridges. It meant stretching myself and making incremental progress — no matter how small — celebrating my progress and continuing to push myself to make my circle of existence bigger and bigger.

It’s truly amazing how at times you’ve never felt lower in your life that you feel most connected with everyone else whose hurting at the same time. I decided to go all in - I explored coping techniques, went to counseling psychologists, read books on anxiety and panic and focused on connecting with people. The latter was the most impactful. I remember once I was on a plane, was so anxious to be flying by myself and I met this woman sitting next to me. We had such an intimate conversation about her and her daughters and her fibromyalgia — we talked to each other the whole flight and before I knew it we were holding hands and the plane was landing. We both needed each other at that moment and I don’t think I could have been there for her had I not been in the place I was. I have several of these stories where I met someone who needed to emotionally connect with me as much as me with them. While I don’t remember their names I do remember how they made me feel and the comfort they provided. These interactions, and the vulnerability we both approached them with deeply accelerated our relationships. Even if just for the 2 hours that I was around them.

I’d love to say that I have kept that level of connectedness up on a regular basis once my anxiety was better managed but if I’m honest with myself - I didn’t. I try to incorporate some tidbits of that within my daily life which is difficult and I’m not always the best at it, but, it’s something that I’m working on.

Fast forward to 10 years later where I was in corporate culture, as a sales professional sitting in all too familiar national meeting where we were given the latest tweak to sales strategy and, of course, expected to be excited about it. If it weren’t for the patients who benefit from the products that I’ve represented over the years, it would be difficult for me to be inspired by a leader at any of our meetings. This time; however, was different. I remember being taken and moved by what the presenter was saying and finding myself begrudgingly inspired, trusting and wanting to follow. This was not my norm. My general disposition up until this point was speculative at best. I’m one of those strong-willed kids who always asked, Why? and wanted to know how a decision was reached. Annoying for my parents and teachers, but, has served me well in other ways. (We’ll discuss this in a future UrStoria podcast episode.)

What was this marketing leader doing so different to evoke this reaction and cause me to go against my hard wiring? I was perplexed. Was I becoming a sheep that would easily follow direction? Was the fabric of my being changing?

I spoke with my manager about it. She suggested that maybe I was attracted to the marketing leader’s strengths and that I read and take the Strengthsfinders 2.0 assessment by Thomas Rath (at time of publication this assessment has been rebranded as The CliftonStrengths assessment) to find out what my strengths were. Completing this exercise caused me to do a lot of introspection-mostly after obtaining my top 5 strengths. My strengths were Communication, Significance, Achiever, Individualization and Input.

The concept set forth in Strengthsfinders 2.0 was one I hadn’t thought of before. Not focus on my weaknesses and focus on my strengths instead! This was a complete mind shift for me. Once I realized-and yes, it took an assessment for me to become conscious of communication and all the rest as being a strengths of mine- that these were my strengths, they were right on the money. I was one of the only people I knew that didn’t have a fear of public speaking and would even seek out opportunities to do it. Furthermore, the activities that gave me energy revolved around communication skills.

I was getting closer to uncovering the spell the leader at the meeting had on me. Was it her communication style and skill? Had my strengths caused me to be drawn to others who had this strength? Maybe, but, I wasn’t satisfied. I focused on my strength of communication - as the book suggests to do-for the remainder of the year. I saw measurable progress, got to know myself better, felt reenergized and even won a sales award that year for my performance that I attribute to focusing on my communication strength. All of the introspection I did helped me to develop my professional brand and create a vision for my career. I relate better with those around me too as I think about what their strengths are and how it shapes them as a colleague and it makes it easier to empathize with them, leverage their strengths and meet on common ground. I have definitely made improvement. Is there more to be done? Absolutely, work on myself will never be completed.

As I focused on my communications strength I came across a book Storyteller’s Secret by Carmine Gallo. This book brought to life the reasons why I was so moved by the presentation that the sales leader made that day and by other orators I admired. Again, did I mention-I’m not easy to influence. Yes? Okay, let’s proceed. Carmine gives examples of great speeches and some of the most viewed TED talks and dissects why the presentations are so powerful and why the talks accomplish their goal — persuading you to take action. Whether a TED Talk with 10 million views or Steve Jobs introducing a new product they all do the same thing. They evoke emotion within you. Emotion makes you remember. That what the sales leader accomplished at the National Meeting that started me on this journey.

I continued to study Storytelling in Business over the next couple of years and increasingly saw how it had value in my professional and personal life. You can quickly express who you are if you know your origin story. The better you get at telling your story the quicker you can connect with strangers, interviewers, clients, neighbors, etc. The ultimate benefit is the emotional connection you make while telling your story and while hearing others tell theirs. It’s a deep experience and your relationship naturally accelerates. It’s a sort of fertilizer for connection and authenticity. Over time I’ve become more cognizant of my actions - making sure they are consistent with my story and who I want to be. I’m the author of my story and I’m writing it everyday.

Dean McAlister, the star of the interviews that you are about to read that were pulled from a selection of episodes on the UrStoria podcast and a previous 3rd line leader of mine, cultivated my interest in Storytelling to the next level. I watched him utilize Storytelling in his leadership and saw through him how Storytelling can inspire, endear and create an engaging work environment. True to form as you will read in the book, he also emboldened me to start my podcast, UrStoria, by giving me a National platform to begin the dialogue around Storytelling with our selling team. He believed in me when he had no business doing so. He gave me a National platform to speak on a subject when he had no idea how I would respond. He truly lives his legacy as you’ll learn in the next few pages. It is my hope through the book and the podcast that you are invigorated to know your story - what makes you the person you are now and the person you want to be - and become a master storyteller at telling your story. Let’s grow together. It’s your story - create it, write it, tell it!

1

LESSONS FROM A LIFELINE

WHAT IS YOUR LEGACY?

Jenn: Dean McAlister connects with people through story. The ability to tell our story begins with defining who we are and why we do what we do, and ultimately sharing that story with others. Dean shares successes and personal learnings gained through a 28-year career at a large international company. He challenges us all to discover what we want our legacy to be. The beginning of the discussion gets you grounded in who Dean is as a person and adds flavor and substance to this leadership-themed story.

Dean: Thank you for having me on your podcast. I just retired from AstraZeneca, which is one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world. Privileged to have been with the company for over 28 years and to have done 16 assignments across the commercial business, including sales, marketing, market research, training, and market access roles. I’ve been privileged to be able to lead a lot of great people, to meet a lot of great people, and to actually work for the company’s interests around the world.

Jenn: Can you give the audience some information on your childhood and your background?

Dean: I certainly can. I am a New Mexican, which there’s not a lot of those. But I was actually raised in New Mexico—Carlsbad, New Mexico. You might be familiar with the Carlsbad Caverns, perhaps having made a trip there as a child. But growing up there was very different. It was a rather rural location, northeast of Mexico. There wasn’t a lot of industry. I was privileged to be able to grow up there and to have a lot of very formative experiences, one of which was, unfortunately, the divorce of my parents. At age nine, my mom, who was bipolar before it was really known to be diagnosed as such, left my father and