Les Vignettes

By Christèle G

Open this book when you can't fall asleep.

 

Inside you'll find

everything you feel,

but never say.

 

Inside resides

thoughts unspoken

into words

that make it all

a little less lonely.

 

Inside you'll find

a journey

in moments.

 

Les Vignettes is a gathering of poetry, prose, and and stories that will leave you in your thoughts, in the dark, in the middle of the night. Inspired by everyday words, this collection is a dive into love, hurt, and self actualization, in all of it's forms, in seven chapters.

 

Open this book when you want to feel.

• Language: English
• Publisher: wild Ambrosia
• Release date: Jun 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393273226

Christèle G

Christèle G. is an aspiring balance of midnight and sunshine. As a multicultural AuDHD Black woman, her existence has always been very colorful. She is a lover of life who enjoys dreaming, dancing, laughing, overthinking and possibilities. She hates injustice and is an activist for equality and compassion. A self-professed optimistic realist and a nerd for her special interests, Christèle G. also takes great joy in finding the bright-side in everything she learns. She holds two bachelor's degrees, and has a master's degree in Women, Gender & Sexuality.

Book preview

Prologue

Word: Trans-Atlantic

______________________________

In my head, I envision my hands holding a postcard, picture side up. In it stands a woman on a beach staring out at the ocean. Her skirt is long and is caught mid-sway in the wind, her shirt is short-sleeved and loose, one arm is placed on top of the headwrap covering her hair, and her other arm hangs by her side. Her deep brown skin is warmed by the island sun and her bare toes dig into the sand. I do not know what her face says; she stares out at the sea with her back to my eyes. There is no way for me to know if her eyes are open or shut, but the waters look endless.

Wish you were here is written sideways in a happy font at the top right corner of the postcard. It is plastered over the image of a palm tree. 

She looks stranded from home.

I.

The Self

(An Introspection)

I

(a journey)

Word: Fortune

______________________________

I needed guidance. 

No. 

I wanted guidance,

and it seems a little bit silly, but 

I opened a fortune cookie. 

Trust your intuition, it told me, but 

sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between my intuition and my insecurities.

Word: Feelings

______________________________

There's never a good balance. I can't find one. I can't make one either. 

Word: Drift 

______________________________

The best part about floating in the ocean is being buoyed by the water.

Eyes shut, with the sun warming your face and the sea breeze cooling that prickling heat, you are in outer space. 

There requires certain muscle control to release yourself into the surrounding fluidity.

––––––––

The worst part

about floating in the ocean

is the ocean.

If you think too much, and tense too soon, that delicate balance of your body within the water tips over. Suddenly you are straining to keep yourself afloat.

The world unknown below

seems endless,

but you do know that it is deadly. And fear, frantic and hopeless, takes over. 

––––––––

I want to feel weightless, but

I’m afraid of drowning

where I know I can’t swim.

Word: Plus 

______________________________

A lovely facet of addition is its potential

to increase in quantity

at a gradual pace. It's easier to handle

and easier to acclimate to.

It is

achievable.

'Me plus you' sounds so much sweeter than 'me times you.'

It is much less

volatile, less obtrusive

and less intense.

––––––––

The issue is

being an unwanted

add-on.

––––––––

I’ve spent too long wondering if I were the invited, welcomed, and accepted

plus-one.

I worry if

I am the required, forced, and tolerated third party, multiplied

to match your displeasure.

––––––––

It is still hard to tell. 

Word: Useless 

______________________________

There wasn't really anything for me to do, that I could do, I don't think.

It was the feeling of being cast aside while obstructing everyone's path,

the large boulder in the middle of a stream that the water rushes over and around.

I wasn't sure if I was a burden or just useless. 

Word: Numb

______________________________

A veil had draped itself over my emotions.

I could see them rolling about

and rumbling up,

searching for relief.

They could sense me nearby.

The heat from my heart belied the cool complacency pumping into my mind, so

they yearned

impatiently

for me

under the thick fabric.

––––––––

I stood aside

and watched them struggle. 

Word: Distance

______________________________

I take one step back and it's not

enough.

If I could step across the ocean, away

in the opposite direction,

proximity would still

exist.

Even sequestered in the ink of outer space, my mind

would remain

constant.

I can never get far enough. 

Word: Nervous 

______________________________

No matter how convinced I was or

how prepared I felt,

and how much I steeled my

nerves, my heart

remained lodged in my throat. 

Word: Acrostic 

______________________________

Transformation is being vulnerable to someone else's will.

It is the worst part. They might not even say or do anything to you,

might not ever notice your existence within their world, but you become pliable to every inch of their perceptions.

Suddenly, the letters and words that describe your being change. Your senses

upend. You are compromised and your perspective now shares space with your

private uncertainties. 

Word: Happy 

______________________________

On

dirait que je suis

heureuse, but

I'm not too convinced. 

Word: Up

______________________________

Encouragement

might be the hardest part of self-improvement.

I want

for you to reassure me

that I'm fine just the way I am;

that you'll always be here no matter what.

What I

tell me

is that I'm proud of myself,

that I did a good job in

reaching this next stage,

and that I should keep going.

Word: Waves 

______________________________

Were I but the moon

controlling the tides

below me,

I would master the ebbs and flows of life.

I am

yet

just a raft trying to stay afloat.

I've looked up in envy,

in

despair, and in confusion, before,

not

understanding.

Now I ride

the current along the waves,

learning the whys and

knowing to be. 

Word: Existence

______________________________

I am a blessing.

I am a

happenstance

of the matter and energy that floats in the exhale of every smile; serendipitous.

Word: Reverberation 

______________________________

Stripes of sunlight beamed

across my face

and over my body through the blinds.

It wasn't