How I Lost 130 Pounds; The Way Toward a New Life

By Dumitru Balmez

Dear Reader,

This is my story and I truly believe that my experience and my research over losing weight, done during years, could help many others to find the exit from this bad dream of being over sized. For the ones thinking that there is no way out (I’m sure it may be a lot and even you may be one of them), I can tell you that it is possible and that it is not so tough at all to do it.

You will not read a boring diary. It it is neither a miracle diet program nor a list of recipes. You can find them everywhere, you will follow them and you will give up after a while. Instead, it contains a lot of practical advice from my personal life and experience, that guided me toward a new life, since I decided to change something. Because it is not only about losing weight for good, it is about a profound transformation of our lives.

It is about why we are fat and finding the right motivation to change this, the way we eat, why and how we exercise, what else to change and why, everything explained in a very accessible style.

My book is not only for adult persons. I would be happy if my book will help parents with over sized children or children themselves, reading this book. Childhood is the foundation of our lives and children needs our help and guidance for have a happy and healthy (physical and mental) life from the very beginning. Because it is easier and better to correct something earlier but prevention is the best.

Reading the book is not the end of our relationship. On the last page of the book you will have my contact info and we can keep in touch. Being a member of our community can be helpful and supporting.

Dumitru Balmez

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dumitru Balmez
• Release date: Apr 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463523322

Book preview

HOW I LOST 130 POUNDS

The way toward a new life

By Dumitru Balmez

MOTIVATION

I’m one of you. One of us. One of many tens or hundreds of million maybe, that somehow, at one moment of time, lost a battle with the kilograms and just saw themselves caught inside a spiral that was only ascending, without understanding why and how to escape outside this trap. I well understand the despair, followed by resignation and then slowly getting used to the new situation, accepting it as normality and trying to live with it.

This is my story. The book is How I lost… not How to lose…, but my belief is that my experience and my research over losing weight could help many others to find the exit from this bad dream. For the ones thinking that there is no way out (I’m sure it may be a lot and even you may be one of them), I can tell you that it is possible and that it is not so tough at all to do it. Maybe you lost many battles so far but I’m telling you, it’s not finished, this war can be won.

Many times you were humiliated, starting maybe from kindergarten, school, high school, faculty, on the street, in the supermarket, at the job, in the bus, on holiday, everywhere. Not able to pick up the girls you liked, rejected from a job interview for another random stupid reason, not getting a promotion and so on.

Wipe your tears, throw away your anger and your frustration, make peace with yourself and with the Universe, as you are about to win this war.

But how we became obersized ? I tried to make a joke, of course (obese + oversized). We are good on this. Self-irony helped us many times, in public or when we are alone and on the edge of depression. Self-irony will remain our friend and will continue to help us on our way.

And it is a million times better than self-pity. This is not our friend, remove it

from your speeches and from your thoughts. Together with resignation, they

are our biggest enemies. Because it is not over until it is over, right ?

Is better to die trying than living without trying ― Rudzani.

I don’t know who this guy is, but it is very inspiring. And if you tried countless times so far without success, I’m telling you that it wasn’t for nothing, you learned something from every failure and with every failure you are just one step closer to the success.

I never lose. I either win or I learn. - Nelson Mandela.

Well, this guy I know and most of you, at least, heard about it. Nelson

Mandela, after dedicating his youth, his best years fighting against apartheid, he spent another 27 years in jail. But he was undefeated, because he never gave up.

Few years ago I visited the museum about Nelson Mandela’s life in Johannesburg and I was impressed about his whole life and about the honesty of the information. For instance, there is a story about his father, who was a chief of the Tembu Xhosa tribe and went to prison as well. But instead to paint his father's life, making him a revolutionist, persecuted by white guys, or things like that, you could read in plain English that he went in jail for cheating his people, to buy their land for nothing, resealing it after that to some real-estate sharks. You must be very strong inside for be so honest and to unveil such inconvenient truth.

And here’s what I learned from that. We must be very honest, first with ourselves, not afraid to unveil all inconvenient truths and to analyse it. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. - John 8:32.

We should start by analysing how we become over sized, continue to understand why we continue to gain weight, then learning how to reverse the process and finally to act to change ourselves. Please believe me, it’s not only the body transformation. This journey will be like an initiatory one. You will leave behind the old you to become a better person in many ways.

Obesity is now spread worldwide and it’s very present among children and teenagers, more and more every year. I’m terrified to see their eating habits, encouraged from very small ages to eat junk food by irresponsible parents.

Therefore, this book is not only for mature people who want to have a healthy life, to live longer and to be happy. It is also for youngsters, as it is our duty to share with them our expertise and to help them to not repeat our mistakes. I wish I would have somebody to help and to teach me when I was young and I build the foundation of me being over sized.

As I’m born in late ‘60s and in my childhood obesity was not an issue, oversized persons were relatively rare and everything was considered as normal. We are skinny, we are average and, obviously, we must have over sized people as well. I wasn't over-sized all the time. In my early childhood I was at a normal weight, but I was most of the time sick, having problems with the tonsils and the polyps, also frequently for children. At the age of 6, my parents decided that I must go for surgery to cut them off.

My health changed in good after that, but I started to take more and more

weight. My mother and my grandmother continued to feed me as before, when I consumed the energy fighting with the disease. Big dishes and all the time pressure to eat all, to clear the plate. You know the story. There are children that are starving, it’s a sin to throw the food away. The last bit has all the power and it will make you stronger, help me to empty the pot as it is not an empty place in the fridge for it, I will not cook this for you anymore and so on.

On top of all of this, the sentimental blackmail combined with the fear was the most effective. I was the only child, I got used to it and I kinda liked it. But my mother invented a brother, living with her parents in the countryside, who is ready to replace me in the city, if I don’t eat everything. As I didn’t like that countryside place, you can imagine that I was overeating just to be on the safe side.

At that time, pork was the king (and it continues to be). We even have a word, that the best vegetable is pork. My grandparents from my father’s side were living in a village only three km away from our city. They raised two pigs every year and they knew how to prepare them. Salted and smoked, so that we had meat, bacon, sausages and lard all year long. Yes, we ate this too – try with hot bread, paprika and onion. Also, fat milk and cheese, fresh eggs and a lot of fried potatoes. Not much sugar, as my grandmother, fortunately (I can say now) was not very good at making cookies.

My aunt across the street was a cookie monster, but he banned me after a few times when I let her with empty plates just before her visitors came.

During the holidays, over eating was not an issue, as we were running all day long. Playing football (soccer, if you like), swimming, riding the bike, or sledding in the winter, usual things at that time, without smartphones or even without TV, playing and reading a lot.

But during the school time, in the city, it was hard to find the right balance between food and sport, as I put learning in the first place. We had sports classes three hours/week in school. Sometimes, as often possible, I sorted out to play, but it wasn’t enough. As we grew up, school became more and more difficult, letting less time to play. Also, because we were a lot of kids and the school couldn’t accommodate all of us in the morning, we went to school in two shifts, which was horrible.

I was always interested in sport, unfortunately, without having a particular gift for any. Living in a small city, there were very few sports facilities, to practice something seriously, under a trainer supervision, at a club. It was mainly football, three or four football (soccer) teams at that time, but it was out of discussion, as I had absolutely no talent for it.

I went (once !) at the judo club, but this was also not for me. The general practice at that time was that, the first time you go, they will beat the s__t out of you, as a selection criteria. If you liked it, you will go again. I didn’t. And the least I liked was when the enormous guy, assigned to taking care of me, made me fly and fall as a potato sack. Several times. You must agree that for some kids it might be too much as for the first time.

I also tried boxing. At that time boxing was without a helmet, but it was fine. One year in elementary school (7th year only, as in the 8th year I prepared for the exam to enter high school) and another year in high school (again, exams at the end of second). I liked boxing as I never fight in a competition. The training was tough, with a lot of running, jumping the rope, which helped me lose weight, that was my main objective.

I also tried a little bit of gym stuff, but this wasn’t very popular at that time, especially in a small city. We were a small group of enthusiasts, without a trainer to guide us, reading all the books possible, not too many at that time, very difficult to find, making a lot of mistakes and finally giving up.

For me it was very demotivating that I didn’t have the same progress as my fellows. I tried to work even harder, but I ended up in orthopedics, as I loaded my spine too. I can tell you that the doctor was so pissed off about how I hurt my spine, that he was almost about to give me a beating. Again, I had to stop for a while to recover, but there is no way to recover an injured spine and I suffer the consequences even today.

Here’s my friendly advice for you, no matter the age. Take the most care about your spine, because once you start to have troubles with it, it’s for life. Any orthopaedist can tell you that you will never have back your spine as it was before. You can just treat it, so that you try to keep it under control. Healing of injured discs takes time, and progress is not significant, best cure being patience and persistence.

I’m 1000% sure (so, more than sure) that many of you have some issues with the spine, as 75% of the total population have it. I will enter a little bit later more into details about how I survived this issue and how I deal with it, because, as mentioned, you are never totally cured.

Finding a motivation is the key for moving forward, for achieving any objective in this world, including to lose weight. And here I could easily finish my writing, because if we only have motivation, this should be enough. But let’s continue.

Why are we fat ?

We are fat because we are eating too much. Period. It’s not thyroids, heavy bones, water retention or any other stupid excuse. Of course, we may have any of this, or other problems, but we are fat because we are eating too much. Elementary math, we eat more calories than we consume during the day. Many fat people are complaining that they are fat despite the fact they eat almost nothing. I was one of them, until a guy told me the naked truth that I unveiled you above. It’s impossible to be fat without eating. And he gave me the simplest example possible. Through the Auschwitz gates entered fat and normal people. At the end, they were all skinny. Why ? Because they didn’t eat. Can you see the light ?

And we are eating for many reasons. It could be pure pleasure, it could be psychological, compulsive, or it could be all.

How to start ?

Because everything is starting with the first step, right ?

Go to your physician and check in details your health, your parameters and your constraints. I mean, if you have some diseases, you may have some constraints. When you check your parameters, ask for the normal intervals of values and set up your goals to achieve these intervals.

If you don’t have yet, buy a scale. Starting now, this will be your best friend. It’s not because you must, otherwise you cannot measure your progress ( or regress ☹ ). It’s because you will get the most precious help and support from your scale. It will be your most honest partner, it will help you adjust your behaviour even during the day and, if you have a sophisticated one, it will measure your fat % and so on. This is what I consider a real friend.

Measure your weight every morning, naked, after you went to the toilet.

Measure your weight several times during the day if you feel the need. Don’t believe the theory that it’s useless to measure your weight every day and it’s enough to do it once per week. For me, one week it’s enough time to put on 10 kg easily. Imagine your morale when you see yourself worse than one week earlier ! Plus, you will need to measure your weight every day because you will continuously experience what and when you eat, the effect of when and how you sleep and the effect of the sport activities.

It will become so normal to do it, that you will be lost when you go on holiday or on a business trip and you will not find a scale in the hotel. The same if you will not find a proper sports centre, decently equipped. It’s just unbelievable that so few people care about their health, so that the hotels will care even less. So, when making your reservation, ask for a scale. Surprisingly, some of them will help you.

Motivation

There is no stronger force than motivation. It’s like a locomotive running on nuclear energy that it’s pushing you forward with a power that will really amaze you. But the motivation subject is not easy. The simple fact that you want to lose weight is not a motivation. Every fat dude wants it, but it’s never or rarely happened.

Then, motivation is very personal. Each person must find his/her own motivation. Let’s say you are an oversized teenager and your colleagues are mocking you. One day you wake up, like from a long nightmare and say: Enough is enough ! I will do whatever it takes to throw away this bag of fat. It’s not the everyday you, it’s your inner resort, it’s your motivation.

Or let’s say you fall in love for a normal sized person. There is no stronger motivation than being in love, my friends. Or let’s say that you have serious health issues and realize that you need to wait for a long and happy life, to enjoy the rest of your time together with your dears, family or friends. Because a long life while being sick is not happy at all. There are many kinds of motivation and you can find it in the most unexpected ways.

Many folks don’t care about it, but I’m addressing you, who are reading my book and decided to make a change. There is not an unique recipe to touch the base. And this is fine, because we are all unique and diversity is nice. And your satisfaction given by finding yourself your way it’s priceless.

I’m sure you noticed that the Internet is full of motivational quotes, motivational speakers and so on. At one moment of time you may be fed up, but I advise you to follow those guys, because some of them deserve your attention. In fact, each individual deserves attention, we could learn something from each and any person. I don’t want to deviate and enter a philosophical territory, but it is literary like that.

Back to motivational speakers (celebrities or not), yes, I advise you to listen to their stories. You will see positive persons, who went through serious challenges in their lives and this just made them stronger and better persons. And what they have in common ? Well, they found their own motivation to move forward, to turn the challenges into opportunities and to become better humans.

Now they are sharing their experiences to inspire others. By following them, sometimes you will realize that you have absolutely no reason to complain about your failures, to blame others about your current situation or to find excuses. And sometimes you will be ashamed. Until you decide to not blame anymore else and to start acting, you will not progress.

Even if somebody else is responsible for you being fat (which I seriously doubt), you must take control of your life and to do what is good for your life and for your health. But you will not move significantly until you’ll find a proper motivation. Therefore, watching these motivational movies could help you a lot. Of course, I’m not saying to stay and do nothing, or just watch movies, until you find the right motivation. Move and help happen !

Sport

More and more specialists agree now that our generations have the chance

to push the middle ages till 75 - 80. The medical sciences and healthcare made huge progress, we know more about nutrition, more about the benefits of the sport activities and so on. We can find all the info we need very easily. Sadly, not all of us will take the benefit of this, only the doers will.