She's Promised to Him, But I Have Her Heart 2

By Vivian Blue

Subira has found out that Nika has been sneaking around with Usian, but no one seems to want to talk about it. Nika decided to move with her best friend to get as far away from Usian as possible. She agreed to go through with the marriage to Roc in order to fulfill her obligation and honor her father’s wishes. She would have preferred to marry the man she loves, but instead she has to settle for the latter.


Usian decided to help his nephew and get back into the street life. It wasn’t hard considering that two of his closest homies were the men on the streets. He decided to teach CJ the ropes of being a hustler, but this move wasn’t going to be permanent. Nika may be promised to another, but that didn’t mean he was going to accept it, because she may be promised to another, but her heart belonged to him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Royalty Publishing House
• Release date: Jan 30, 2019
• ISBN: 9781648403682

Book preview

1

Subira came up the steps in search of her daughter. She was confused about what had happened and needed to get some answers from Nika for her own clarity. Subira had suspicions that Nika had been sneaking downstairs to lay with Usian, but she would always deny it. Subira wasn’t sure if they were having sex, but there were a few times that she’d gone into Nika’s room in the middle of the night and would hear the lustful sounds of her daughter through the vent. Nika promised her mother that she would only give her virginity to the man that she married, but Subira wasn’t sure if her daughter could make good on that promise. The sounds that were falling from her daughter’s lips definitely were sounds of passion. How could she make such sounds if Usian wasn’t inside of her womb?

Subira walked over to Nika’s door and knocked before turning the knob to enter. She wasn’t about to let Nika sweep this under the rug without them discussing the situation. Was this the reason why Nika didn’t want to marry Roc? And if so, then Nika needed to tell Subira so that they could figure out how to proceed with the wedding.

Nika… can you please tell me what’s going on? Why were you downstairs in Usian’s apartment, and more importantly, why did he have to put some clothes on? Subira rambled off, walking further into Nika’s room.

Nika was sprawled over her bed in tears, hugging her pillow. She didn’t want to discuss what happened with her mother because Nika felt like her mother wouldn’t understand. How could she tell her that Usian had been sucking on her goodies without causing a panic in her mother? She had already shamefully disrespected her mother by laying with a man she wasn’t married to, and having to admit it to Subira’s face felt too overwhelming.

Mama, I don’t want to talk about it, Nika replied, sniffing loudly.

I think we need to talk about it because you are so upset, Subira countered. I want you to be honest with me, Nika, and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about anything.

Nika looked up at Subira and wiped her eyes. Things between her and Usian weren’t a secret anymore since he opened his big egotistical ass mouth and decided to address Roc with the truth. She couldn’t believe that Usian took her phone and spoke those words to him. There was no telling what Roc might have told Subira, so it was best to explain her version of the truth.

Mama, I’m going to tell you the truth, and I hope you don’t get upset. For the past few months, I’ve been messing around with Usian. I would go down to his apartment at night and lay with him until shortly before time for prayer. We weren’t having sexual intercourse, but we would do things… rather he would do things to me. I’m sorry, Mama, for lying to you all those times when you asked me had I left the house. I didn’t know what to tell you, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.

Nika, why would I be disappointed in you? You are an adult and capable of making your own decisions for your life, Subira explained. I wish you and Usian were honest with me about this. I’m disappointed in both of you and felt that I had a good enough relationship with the both of you that either one of you could have told me the truth.

Well you don’t have to worry about us messing around anymore, Nika assured her. I’m done sneaking around with Usian.

I think he made sure of that by confronting Roc, Subira pointed out.

Nika looked up at her mother, and tears began to fall down her face. He was truly pissed off at the both of you, and the ear full he gave me wasn’t pleasant at all.

Don’t even mention his name! I hate Roc with a passion, but I have an obligation to my family to fulfill. Everyone talks about how my father is an honorable man, and I don’t want to do anything to tarnish his reputation, Nika explained. There are so many people’s lives hanging in the balance, and all of that weight is on my shoulders. I will sacrifice my happiness in order to make sure my father makes good on what he promised Jumba before his death.

Nika, you don’t have to—

Yes I do, Mama! Usian doesn’t feel the same way that I do. I love him and want to marry him, but he doesn’t want me in the same way. He likes me but not enough to marry me. I don’t know why I was so stupid and started fooling around with him. Do you know that he wouldn’t let me touch him back? I tried to…

Nika stopped midsentence then looked up at her mother. Subira was looking at her daughter intently, and this made Nika feel even dumber. She was about to say something very inappropriate and had to reel herself back in. It would have never worked between Usian and I because you can’t have a one-sided relationship. The only thing he wanted to do was suck me up and string me along like a love-sick puppy.

Nika, sweetie, I find that hard to believe. Usian always speaks so fondly of you, and I think he likes you, too.

He only likes my body, Mama, and I don’t want to ever talk to him again! I hate Usian, and I’m going to go stay with Kimmie until Roc and I get married! Nika cried, getting up off the bed.

Nika—

I don’t care what you say, Mama! I’m not staying here another minute! Nika shouted, storming over to her closet. Especially if that dumb nigga Usian lives downstairs!

Subira didn’t say another word as she watched her daughter pack up her things. Nika was crying uncontrollably, and there was nothing she could do to console her daughter. Nika’s spirits had been crushed by Usian, and there was no coming back from that since the wound was fresh. Maybe Usian could shine some light on the situation, and Subira could use it to change Nika’s mind about leaving home.

Later That Morning

Usian had been pissed off all morning because he didn’t expect things to go the way that they did with Nika. He realized it was stupid to grab her phone and confront Roc, but he was tired of all of the secrecy. He wanted Nika all to himself, and he was getting tired of having to hide his feelings. A part of Usian wanted to go talk to Subira a month ago to express his feelings and intentions toward Nika, but he felt like Subira would have rejected the idea. He was an ex-con that used to be a drug dealer, and that wasn’t very honorable in Usian’s eyes. He knew that he was a good man and would be an excellent husband for Nika. He felt like he could convince Nika to embrace their religion and become the best wife for him. There were so many times that he wanted to forget his morals and slide up inside of her to plant his seed, but the love and admiration he had for Subira kept him falling short of the act. Usain had gone to sit outside to clear his head after everything had gone down. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Subira come out of the house. She walked up behind him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Usian, can I speak with you for a moment? Subira asked, moving next to him.

Usian looked up at her with a solemn look on his face.

Yes ma’am, Usian replied, sitting up in his chair. What’s up?

Nika is upstairs, very upset. She’s packing up her things and plans on moving with Kimmie until her wedding, Subira explained. Do you care to tell me what’s going on between the two of you because I’m confused.

Usian looked down at his feet then back up at Subira. He could continue to avoid the truth or tell her how he felt about Nika. The moment to have his say had arrived. This was his chance to lay all of the cards on the table because he had nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain.

Ms. Subira, I want to apologize to you first for my part in the situation. I never meant to disrespect you or mess up our relationship by screwing around with Nika. I have a lot of love for you and your daughter, and I guess my feelings for Nika were a lot stronger than I cared to admit to you or myself. I’m in love with your daughter, and I want her for myself. Roc doesn’t deserve to be with Nika because she doesn’t love him. I know I’m not the type of person you had in mind to marry your daughter, and I know that there was some type of agreement made by your dead husband and his brother to arrange Nika’s marriage, but your brother-in-law has it all wrong. Nika needs a strong man that will put her in her place and hold her accountable for her actions. She needs someone who is going to be gentle and loving toward her when she’s having one of those moments where she’s hard on herself. I find myself thinking about her all day, every day… texting and calling her because I want to hear her voice; even the smart mouthed comments when I ask if she misses me.

Subira listened to Usian pour his heart out about his feelings for her daughter, and a part of her wished that Nika was present to hear his words. She had it all wrong, and Usian felt the same way that Nika did, but for some reason, Nika felt that Usian only wanted her for his own perverse pleasure. However, there was one question that she needed to ask Usian in order to make sure that her daughter hadn’t lied to her.

Usian, I have only one question for you, and I want you to be absolutely honest with me.

What is it? Usian asked curiously.

Subira took a deep breath because she had to prepare herself for the response that he was about to give. She’s always trusted Nika to be truthful with her, but after what happened this morning, she wasn’t sure if she could trust Nika to be honest.

Ummm… I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. Please don’t lie to me, Usian, because I feel like our trust has already been broken.

Usian looked at her with a guilty expression on his face. He already felt bad, and when Subira said those words, he felt like the knife that was already in his heart was being driven further into it. How could he be so stupid and think with his desires instead of using the rational part of his brain.

What is it, Ms. Subira? I promise I will be honest with you and tell you the truth, Usian agreed.

Did you have sexual intercourse with my daughter? She promised me that she would save her virginity for her husband, and after this morning, I question whether or not her virtue is still intact, Subira said, staring at him sternly.

Ms. Subira, I’ve never had sexual contact with your daughter, Usian assured her. Now I did do some things to her that I don’t care to go into detail with you about, out of respect, but I never penetrated her because of the respect I have for you, whether you find that hard to believe or not. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted Nika all to myself, because she’s so pure and untouched. I loved how innocent and vulnerable she was when I had her in my bed. I wanted to love and protect her from all of the ills of the world and show her the true beauty of giving her virtue to a man that is worthy. Then maybe she would have a better understanding of our religion and why you were so devoted to your husband. I want Nika to be devoted to Allah first and me second so that we can live a long, rich, and prosperous life.

How is it that you feel that you are deserving of Nika’s virtue when you’re constantly galivanting Jessica around here in front of her face? Is it that you feel you can have your cake and eat it too, Usian? Subira asked frankly. Nika spoke on her feelings towards you and Jessica, and it sounded like you were merely using my daughter like you’re using Jessica.

That’s not true, Ms. Subira. I merely messed around with Jessica in order to relieve the pressure that was built from Nika. I had to get a release from somewhere, and I guess Jessica was the person that I used for it, but I love Nika, Usian confessed. I know I should have done things differently, and I’m sorry. I want to apologize and make things right with the both of you.

I must admit that I’m very disappointed in you, Usian. You’ve betrayed my trust, and I wish you would have been this honest with me in the beginning instead of waiting for something like this to happen, Subira expressed angrily. Because of your selfish and irresponsible actions, Nika is moving with Kimmie until she and Roc get married, and that leaves me all alone. Subira stood up from her chair and stared down at Usian. There was nothing left for her to say to him since the damage was already done.

2

One Month Later

Usian was over Jackie’s house, wrapping up his furniture. He had purchased a building that had a storefront with an upstairs apartment. His intent was to open up his furniture store downstairs and fix the upstairs for Nika’s braiding shop. He planned on surprising her with it before things went south with them. He hadn’t talked to her in over a month, and it was driving him nuts. He thought that going out and picking up women was going to help get his mind off of her, but it wasn’t working. He even cut Jessica loose because he couldn’t risk losing his friendship with Jabari over a piece of pussy.

Jackie walked into the garage, holding an envelope in her hand. Usian was hard at work, putting his furniture in plastic, and a smile came across her face because she was so proud of her son. He had set a goal for himself and managed to stay focused in order to achieve it. Usian could have easily came back out on the streets and started selling drugs again, but he stayed on the right path, and for that, Jackie was grateful. However, that was furthest from the truth. Usian going back into the street life helped him to gain enough money to purchase the building where the furniture store was being housed. It would devastate Jackie if she found out not only did her son return to the streets, but drug her grandson along with him.

Hey, son. Guess what I got in the mail? Jackie said, walking toward him.

If it’s a bill, then I can’t help you, Usian joked, looking up at her.

Yo’ ass is silly, boy, she replied, laughing. I just received an invitation to Nika’s wedding in a month. Why didn’t you tell me that the wedding was this close? I need to go out and buy me a dress.

Usian continued working and didn’t say anything. This was the last thing he wanted to hear, and maybe if he ignored his mother, she would change the subject. "I need to