She's Promised to Him, But I Have Her Heart

By Vivian Blue

Relationships can be tricky when there is a certain dynamic of power shifted in one person’s favor. Nika owns a two-family flat in the Ville neighborhood and rents her bottom apartment to Usian, who grew up in the area. Their relationship is one of mutual respect and understanding, but they always butt heads, which is what contributed to the uptight personality that Nika always displays. Usian is much older than Nika and thinks she’s an entitled brat, while Nika thinks that Usian is a hood rat that will eventually end up back in prison.


Amanika, aka Nika, has her entire life ahead of her, but for some reason, she can’t figure it out. She went to college and graduated with honors from Washington University, with a degree in education; however, that’s not really what she wants to do. Since Nika was a teenager, she worked at her aunt’s African hair braiding shop, where all of her family works. They’ve been applying pressure for Nika to get married, and before her father died, he arranged her to be wed. She wants to be able to pick the man she marries, and her mother doesn’t seem to have a problem with it because she wants her daughter to be happy. However, the elders in the family are against it, and with her mother being Muslim, it makes things even more complicated.


Jasper Simpson Jr., aka Usian Shakur, is an ex-convict trying to keep his life on track. He used to be a big-time drug dealer until he was locked up and served ten years in prison for drug trafficking and money laundering. He chose not to go back to the life, but a lot of his friends are still deeply involved and trying to get Usian to get back into the game. He found Islam while he was locked up and changed his way of living to better his life, but living in a neighborhood where drugs and violence dominate, there’s a fine line between doing the right thing and succumbing to the pressures of your environment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Royalty Publishing House
• Release date: Dec 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9781648403675

Book preview

I ’m so tired of seeing niggas on my front when I get home every day, Nika complained, opening the gate. Don’t y’all asses have something better to do instead of sitting on my damn porch… like getting a fucking job?

Good evening to you, too, Nika, Usian replied, chuckling. I see you had a bad day.

It was going good until I pulled up and saw all you niggas on my front. Did you even go to work today, Usian?

Nope, I’m off today, and it’s past three o’clock, so it’s happy hour.

It seems like it’s happy hour around here all the damn time because you and your friends are always on my front!

Nika looked at Usian, rolling her eyes at him as she stormed up the steps. He was a constant pain in her ass, and she couldn’t understand why her mother liked him so much. He was arrogant and opinionated, which drove Nika crazy. He always had people sitting on the front or in his house, and there wasn’t a day that went by that his sexual escapades didn’t disturb her rest at night. Sometimes it would go on for hours, and she would have to go in the living room and sleep on the couch.

I know what’s wrong with ya, Usian offered, looking up at Nika.

You should, Nika replied, opening her door. Yo’ ass kept me up half the night with that loud ass heffa you were screwing.

Usian looked at Nika and winked, angering her even more. She was getting tired of all of his antics, and there needed to be a stop to all of it.

I’m gon’ put yo’ ass out, Usian… Keep playing with me! Nika declared. I don’t know why my mama insists on keeping your ass around, but I’m going to burst both of y’all bubble.

You should let me bust yo’ bubble, said Mac, Usian’s best friend.

Both Usian and Nika looked at him strangely. Mac had tried to get on Nika since his best friend moved under her and her mother years ago, but Nika was not interested.

I’m cool, Nika replied dryly, hurrying into the house.

Usian laughed, while Mac stared at the door looking like his feelings were hurt.

That’s cold blooded, Usian, and yo’ ass is laughing at me. I don’t know why that girl won’t give me no play, but I’m going to eventually ware her ass down, and she’s going to go out with me.

Aye, man, Nika ain’t like all these other chicks around here, even though she tries to pretend like it. Her family is Muslim, and there’s no way they’re going to let her date a nigga like you. She has an uncle that comes around periodically to check on her and Ms. Subira, and from what I understand, Nika has a fiancé.

What the fuck that got to do with me? I just want to buss Nika down one time. I bet that pussy is nice and tight the way her ass is always walking around here wound up, going off on people, Mac replied, grabbing his crotch.

Usian looked at his friend and laughed. He knew there was no way Nika was going to give Mac’s ass the time of day, but if Mac wanted to keep shooting his shot and getting turned down, then who was he to stop him.

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Nika walked up the steps and entered her humble abode. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief because she was so happy to be home. Her aunts got on her very last nerve today, constantly nagging her about getting married. They kept making comments about Nika not taking that big step, and how her father put it in her uncle’s hands to pick a handsome choice for her to wed. However, it wasn’t her father that picked her husband, and arranged marriages was not how things were done over in America.

Nika was born and raised in the United States after her mother had to flee their homeland in Nigeria. They were a part of the Hausa tribe, and her family was forced to flee when the government came and seized their family’s land. Nika’s father, Abdalla, was a merchant that collected trade items, from domestic areas, the rain forest region to the south, through trade and raiding. He was one of the leaders that decided to fight against the government and had many resources that helped fund the rebels. When the fighting got too close to the village where Abdalla and Kilanda (Subira) were hiding, Abdalla felt it was too dangerous for his wife and unborn child to remain. Unbeknownst to Kilanda, Abdalla’s younger brother Jamba had fled to America to gain citizenship through his educational studies. Abdalla had sent money, diamonds, gold, and other equities to Jamba for safe keeping, until Abdalla was able to bring himself and his family to America to join him.

The night the Nigerian army came to desolate the village to take Abdalla into custody, word had gotten to him that they were on the way to capture him. Abdalla knew that they would kill him once they captured him, so he paid to have Kilinda and her three sisters, Waseme, Usia, and Zaida sent to America to join Jamba. A small group of rebel fighters snuck away from the village in the dead of night on foot, along with a pregnant Kilinda, her sisters, and a bag full of money that she would use to get them to the border. Kilinda didn’t want to leave her beloved husband and would have rather died fighting alongside him, but Abdalla wanted a better life for her and their unborn child, so he sent them away to safety.

Mama! Mama, where are you! Nika yelled, walking further into the apartment. Their house was beautifully decorated with African artifacts and other authentic décor. Her mother changed her name to Subira before she arrived in the states, for her safety and well-being.

I’m in here, child. Why are you yelling? Subira asked when Nika walked into the kitchen. She had just finished making bread and was cleaning up her mess.

Mama, why do we continue to let Usian stay downstairs when he always has all those niggas on the porch?

Subira looked at Nika and frowned warmly at her daughter.

You know I don’t like that word, Nika, and I asked you to please stop using it around me.

I’m sorry, Mama, but that’s what him and his friends are, Nika replied, sitting down at the table. They are like roaches, always lingering around, being a pest.

It’s actually not so bad having Usian and his friends sitting on the front porch. That’s how your father and his friends used to do back home in Africa.

I bet Daddy and his friends didn’t act like niggas, Nika said, turning up her lips.

Subira looked at Nika and rolled her eyes.

What am I going to do with you? Subira uttered, walking over to the sink. It is good to have a man living downstairs so that people don’t get the idea to come up in our home and rape us. Also, I’ve told you several times that his mother, Ms. Jackie, is a good friend of mine, and Usian always pays his rent on time.

I’m sure we can find someone else who can pay the rent on time, Nika uttered, rolling her eyes. For some reason, Usian drove her crazy, and she couldn’t put her finger on it. He was fine as hell and cool to hang around, but his rude, cocky, and arrogant attitude always seemed to rub Nika the wrong way.

You don’t have a problem with him when you’re downstairs, hanging out and smoking that stuff with him, Subira mentioned nonchalantly.

That’s different, Mama. I purchase my weed from him, and he always offers to smoke with me, Nika explained. I don’t like how rude he is, and his attitude is off the chain.

You don’t have a problem hanging out downstairs with him, like I said, Subira replied bluntly.

That’s because he’s a lot cooler when it’s just me, him, and one of his randoms, Nika explained.

What is a random?

I’m referring to the many women that come to visit Usian, Nika replied. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but there are a number of women that come to visit him on a regular basis. It’s amazing that his organ hasn’t fallen off the way women come and go out of his apartment.

Subira studied her daughter’s face for a moment. She felt like Nika was hard on Usian for no reason, and it might have something to do with her obsession over him. Nika comes in every day, ranting and raving over Usian, and ends up right downstairs, hanging out with him.

It sounds like you’re jealous to me, Amanika. I think if you put as much thought into your own relationship, you could finally get married.

Married? I don’t even know what I want to do with my life, let alone get married. I haven’t even experienced living, and you want me to get married to a man I don’t even know, Nika complained.

Nika, your father arranged this marriage before I came to America, with the help of Jamba. Roc is a good catch, and you very well know him. Don’t act like you don’t know Roc, because we’ve spent many years being around him and his family. He has a degree in biology and is currently in medical school to be a doctor. That’s the perfect man to marry. He will have a career that will be prosperous for the both of you.

In your opinion, Nika replied, rolling her eyes. What if I don’t want to marry him, Mama? We have nothing in common, and all he talks about is how much money he’s going to make once he becomes a doctor. I don’t like pretentious men, and he does the most.

You know what I think, Nika? You are never satisfied because you’re unhappy with your life. What makes you happy, my child?

Nika stared at her mother for a second because she was blindsided by the question. Nika has always gone through the motions of life without thinking about herself. She always wanted to please her mother and their family because that’s what good African girls did. Nika was happy that her mother didn’t force her to cover her head or follow a lot of the Muslim customs like the other members of her family. Subira wanted Nika to define her life since they were in America, but she did teach her their religion. Nika learned that Allah is great, to pray five times a day, don’t eat pork, and observe the holy month of Ramadan. Subira’s family didn’t agree with the way she was raising Nika, but it wasn’t their decision to make. Subira wanted to provide the best life for her daughter in the new land, and blending in with the culture wouldn’t be so bad as long as Nika knew her roots.

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Nika walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. It had been a long day, and all she wanted to do was smoke a joint and lay down. Her aunt Usia had been riding her all day about marriage and the traditions and customs of their people. She talked about how her daughters were being raised properly, and Subira was making a huge mistake by letting Nika make her own decisions. Usia said if she had her way, Nika would have been married years ago after she graduated out of high school. Thankfully, Usia didn’t have a say so in anything pertaining to Nika, and she was grateful for that.

Nika grabbed a wooden box off of her dresser and sat down on her bed. She stared at the box and wondered what life would be like if her father were alive. She never got to meet him because he died the night her mother fled from their village. There were times when Nika wished she could have one conversation with him, but of course, that was out of the question. Her uncle Jamba tried to step in and be a father figure for Nika, but they didn’t get along, and he felt Nika was too westernized. He tried to enforce certain things on Nika, but it was always met with resistance. He was determined to get her married off to Roc soon, and if Nika continued to refuse the proposal, he would evoke it and give one of his daughters’ hand in marriage instead.

Nika opened the box and took a joint out of it. She got up and walked over to the window, opening it, so that the smoke would flow out instead of completely engulfing her room. Next, she pulled the carpet up to the slit in the door and made sure no smoke would get out. She always tried to respect her mother, but this was the only thing that seemed to calm her nerves. Her best friend, Kimme, suggested having sex, but being a virgin was okay with Nika. She’d made a promise to her mother that she wouldn’t lose her virtue to a random man, because she was promised to be married to Roc. However, Roc had been trying to get into Nika’s pants ever since they were teenagers, but she wasn’t attracted to him in no form or fashion, even though he was a handsome man. Nika wasn’t sure what she wanted in a man, but Roc definitely wasn’t it.

Knock… knock… knock…

Usian walked to his back door with a smile on his face. He knew it couldn’t be no one but his crabby ass neighbor who always complained about him being on the front. He was always amused by Nika’s antics, and it wouldn’t be a day if she wasn’t complaining about something. He purposefully sat out on the front just to hear her go off about it. It was one of the many ways he was entertained by the antics of Nika, and he loved driving her crazy.

Knock… knock… knock…

Usian stood at the door for another minute because he knew that Nika was going to be pissed off. He chuckled as he listened to her bitch and complain through the door about him taking so long to answer. She was also impatient and hated to wait, so he would purposefully make her stand there as a way to learn patience.

Usian opened the door and stared at Nika, amused. He could tell by the look on her face that she was pissed off that it took him so long to open the door. She was holding a plate in her hand and pushed it into his chest as she barged through his door.

What the hell took you so long? Nika questioned, pushing past him. I know I was standing there for like three minutes, and it shouldn’t take you that long to open up the door.

What’s this? Usian asked, shutting the door. And I’ve told you time and time again, Nika. Your impatient ass is going to have to wait until I open the door. I could have had one of my honeys up in here or something.

Nika looked at Usian with a frown on her face. She hated when he talked about other women to her, and it seemed like he always did it on purpose. Nika noticed that Usian liked to push her buttons, and that drove her insane. She didn’t understand why she was always hanging around him, but for some reason, she was drawn to him.

I don’t want to hear that shit! I heard enough of you and whatever thot you had over here last night. She was unusually loud for some reason, and I started to come bang on your door, Nika explained. I couldn’t even get to sleep because her stupid ass kept moaning and groaning all loud and shit.

A smile spread across Usian’s face as