Un-Complicating Your Dysfunctional Love-Life

By Ambassador Brian Oneill

Relationships are a very complicated matter. In the 21st century it's even pitiful that lovers have opted for open relationships, only having sex and simply living together without any promise or commitment.

This book is a voice in a world that has chosen to compromise regarding relationships. Ambassador Brian guides his readers to identify the main reasons why relationships fail. He further gives detailed solutions and invites you to apply these principles.

The focus of this book is to inspire and enlighten your path to victory particularly to those who seek answers about

relationships, those who seek this journey and have no idea how to go about it and to those experiencing a series of Bad Relationships, failing marriages and Single – but hurting inside.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ambassador Brian
• Release date: Mar 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393781745

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Failure in Acknowledging

the Founder

Relationships and marriages are institutions that were founded and established by God, our Designer. Surprisingly, a lot of people today are misled into thinking that governments, legislators, and churches are the main reasons why we have the so-called institutions in the first place. Given the circumstances, I therefore stand to bring enlightenment and correction to this myth.

This is the same approach we have, to say we can vote in and vote out natural laws that govern the universe. Surely, how do we vote for and pass a law like the Law of Gravity? No government, no power in this world has the right and authority to alter such, except the Creator, God himself. We cannot vote for a law of same-sex marriage. We do not have the means or muscle to tamper with such; after all, animals in the wilderness are not confused in that regard. A lion is a male and a lioness is a female lion, no election can overrule that. 

On the contrary, let us reveal and affirm that God is the founder of these institutions. Likewise, when God had finished creating a man, He named him Adam, according to the manual of life (The Bible).

In Genesis 2:18 (NIV) the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

In detail, let’s closely scrutinize this verse, the portion that says "it is not good for the man to be alone."

Throughout chapter 1, the creator reviewed His work and declared it good (1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). Meanwhile, in this verse for the first time, God says something is not good in His creation. This being brought about by Adam’s aloneness.

Immediately, God comes to the conclusion on solving this problem by making Adam a helper suitable for him. As a result, Eve was formed being the appropriate companion.

Certainly this was the main drive that God had in creating a companion for Adam – for he was without help. Consequently, of Adam being alone and wanting companionship, a "RELATIONSHIP" was established. This was done for him to have somebody whom he might relate to, commune and fellowship with. 

Matthew 19:4-5: "Haven’t you read . . . that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one.

The reason why Adam (man) will leave his parents, was the fact that he was to be united to his wife, Eve. Adam is already connecting with Eve but he must take a step further, instantly here we see the establishment of another institution of MARRIAGE.

As shown above, we have come to the truth that the institution of ‘RELATIONSHIPS’ and ‘MARRIAGE’ was founded by God. 

Not a politician, not a government, not even a Preacher. God saw it fit that we must not be alone.

Imagine this, Here's a righteous man, Adam (before his fall), having an awesome relationship with his Maker, in an excellent place, the Garden of Eden. What else could he desire? Is that not enough? No.....not as seen by God! The Creator’s view was that this man needs an acquaintance.

In other words, this is the same pattern that God uses to measure the love He has for his bride, being the church. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph. 5:24–25).

Sadly, submission expresses a terrible meaning in our society, yet it must be noticed that this word doesn't indicate weakness or inferiority. Submit is actually a military word that means to bring together under position and to organize by ranks. A sergeant is not lesser to a commander. They are equal. Be that as it may, authority is important to have a clear chain of command. Otherwise, there will be confusion and disorder. By the same token, God made the husband and wife relationship, to have order and positions for its success.

Furthermore, the verse instructs the man to love his wife as God loved the church, and thus be willing to die for her. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Eve was part of Adam’s body because she was taken from his side, (the rib). If anyone feels that the woman’s role is unfair and is one-sided, they should give more thought to that of a man. Certainly, it is much easier to submit to someone, than to give your life for that person. Indeed, such love is impossible without God being involved.

To love sacrificially means the man must at times skip his free time, friendships and entertainment to love his spouse.

God doesn’t demand the man to force his wife to Submission, it must occur willingly. The mistreatment of women by men seen throughout the ages is not God’s will. God Speaking through Paul, He requires the husband to love his wife. He utilizes the word agape, which is frequently used to mimic God’s love. By all means, this is not an emotional love; it is a demonstration of the will. I get baffled when partners share with me that they no longer have feelings for each other.  Straightaway, I reply, "What do emotions have to do with it? God instructs you to adore your spouse. He directs it and enables it; this is a compliance matter rather than a feeling matter. With this in mind, it is true to say that God designed relationships and marriages to meet our needs for companionship and to provide us with an illustration of our connection with Him.

In our modern relationships and marriages, we have failed to acknowledge who the mastermind is behind these institutions; hence this has been the reason why our relationships fail and keep worsening. We have failed to understand and deduce why the founder started these institutions in the first place. That is why even when difficulties arise, we look to governments for solutions and assistance. I am not saying entirely it is immoral thinking to do so, but these are deep, complicated, day to day social problems that mushroomed from previous generations that have been carried over as an epidemic therefore we need proven solutions that go straight to the root cause. The governments, churches, marriage facilitators, are governing bodies that God has chosen merely to execute His thinking, principles and reasoning. Truly, the only remedy we need entirely to look to for solutions, is the Designer not the administrators, messengers and policymakers. "It won’t work’’. 

THE REMEDY THEREOF

In reality, when you throw an anchor over the edge, it goes right down to the base and holds down the ship to the Ocean floor. Strong winds and waves may try to move the ship back and forth threatening its steadiness. Then again, a strong anchor secures the ship and safeguards its passengers. Similarly, the storms of life can violently attack our homes, our relationships forcing us, the inhabitants to be devastated. Likewise, anchoring in God, the Designer of these institutions, guarantees partners that they’re preserved as they embark on their quest for love.

Moreover, if a product that Samsung had invented, designed, manufactured and guaranteed, starts to malfunction, who do you look to for solutions and repairs? The answer should be the manufacturer, the maker that is the Samsung Company. If one is to take the product to the wrong so-called or deemed manufacturer, (fake manufacturers) it would be lucky if it works and even if it does work, it will be for a few days (with no guarantees). Malfunctioning again is unavoidable because the founder is the one who knows how to repair and give a permanent solution altogether. 

Since we have proved that the relationship and marriage institutions are founded by God, He is the go-to avenue for direction and help so as to navigate these institutions. In doing, so we may reap full benefits when relating, communing and becoming one with our partners. These institutions are for us not God, for it is not good for us to be alone and without perfect help. 

Someone might ask and say, But Mr. Writer, this is not practical. Can I pick up the phone and call God’s Company customer care number and be helped? I need something practical like that.

Well, I might have a clue for you, when Samsung sends out their products to the customer, inside the package, there is a small booklet called the manual where the company gives instructions on how to use, protect, keep, warrant and service the product. So by simply reading and following the instructions on the manual, you are set. So did the founder of marriages and relationships, the God Company. The Bible is the manual on how to operate, safe keep, navigate, secure and service these institutions.

Without a doubt, I can safely claim that there is a small portion of couples that do get to read through the instructions in the Bible. They embark on their adventure with ignorance. They lie to themselves, and say they will figure it out along the way, and jump into a relationship without precautions. Of course, many do get it wrong.

Generally speaking, it is a MUST do thing, to understand and re-read the manufacturer’s instructions. Because most of the problems we get in relationships can be traced back to our negligence of not reading and obeying God’s instructions. After all, God designed relationships and it certainly means that it takes the three of us to