Go Beyond Resilience: Find Your Grit

By Karen Flynn

In addition to sharing some of her personal and professional life experiences, failures, and successes, Coach K takes us on a journey to question how we make decisions and how we 'play it safe,' in order to keep others around us happy. Her professional training as a coach and down-to-earth writing style brings forward powerful inquiries and opens up a plethora of new perspectives and self-care tips. A passionate advocate for being true to oneself and keeping our values close, Coach K speaks of how we reflect on our lives and play our own movies in our heads to feel whether we are doing what we set out to achieve in the first place. Her commitment to being brave and making those unpopular decisions is timely - when our worlds seem to collide in the most unexpected ways throughout relationships, careers, and a significant hunger for personal growth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jul 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645365068

Karen Flynn

Born in Guyana to immigrant parents and dubbed a most Anglo-Saxon name, compliments of aspirational norms, Karen Ann Vinh, now Flynn, was raised in a West Indian environment; a culture of harsh truths, no-nonsense parenting, and brutish competition at all levels from the playground to the classroom. Karen recognized her strength as a young woman to look at situations from an impartial viewpoint and her ability to be straightforward and honest. From early jobs to becoming a successful entrepreneur, Karen worked toward a fulfilling and resonant life by pursuing things that made her "feel." After working for several international communication agencies, Karen developed her own, to deliver a high quality of work for clients which matched the integrity she felt was required for brands. Within two years of setting up her agency in January 2009, she found a suitor in the fourth largest (at that time) global communication group who eventually bought her firm in 2016. Karen then dedicated her craft and passion to charities in the UK, where she completed her training as a professional coach. Now at home in Vancouver, Canada, Karen continues to embody and advocate living a larger and fulfilling life through her work to impact inclusion for the growing migrant population arriving in Canada. Karen provides coaching and mentorship for private clients internationally, entrepreneurs, and business students at the University of British Columbia (UBC), and through non-profit organizations in the Vancouver area.

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About the Author

Born in Guyana to immigrant parents and dubbed a most Anglo-Saxon name, compliments of aspirational norms, Karen Ann Vinh, now Flynn, was raised in a West Indian environment; a culture of harsh truths, no-nonsense parenting, and brutish competition at all levels from the playground to the classroom. Karen recognized her strength as a young woman to look at situations from an impartial viewpoint and her ability to be straightforward and honest. From early jobs to becoming a successful entrepreneur, Karen worked toward a fulfilling and resonant life by pursuing things that made her feel. After working for several international communication agencies, Karen developed her own, to deliver a high quality of work for clients which matched the integrity she felt was required for brands. Within two years of setting up her agency in January 2009, she found a suitor in the fourth largest (at that time) global communication group who eventually bought her firm in 2016. Karen then dedicated her craft and passion to charities in the UK, where she completed her training as a professional coach. Now at home in Vancouver, Canada, Karen continues to embody and advocate living a larger and fulfilling life through her work to impact inclusion for the growing migrant population arriving in Canada. Karen provides coaching and mentorship for private clients internationally, entrepreneurs, and business students at the University of British Columbia (UBC), and through non-profit organizations in the Vancouver area.

About the Book

In addition to sharing some of her personal and professional life experiences, failures, and successes, Coach K takes us on a journey to question how we make decisions and how we ‘play it safe,’ in order to keep others around us happy. Her professional training as a coach and down-to-earth writing style brings forward powerful inquiries and opens up a plethora of new perspectives and self-care tips. A passionate advocate for being true to oneself and keeping our values close, Coach K speaks of how we reflect on our lives and play our own movies in our heads to feel whether we are doing what we set out to achieve in the first place. Her commitment to being brave and making those unpopular decisions is timely – when our worlds seem to collide in the most unexpected ways throughout relationships, careers, and a significant hunger for personal growth

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my greatest champion, my amazing daughter, who has shown me the true meaning of unconditional love and support. Without you, my darling, my wings could not reach their full span and I love you in the most absolute way I never dreamed possible. You continue to be the brightest star in my sky.

Copyright Information

Copyright © Coach K (2019)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.

Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data

K, Coach

Go Beyond Resilience: Find Your Grit

ISBN 9781643787510 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781643787527 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781645365068 (ePub e-book)

Library of congress Control number: 2019907840

The main category of the book — Biography & Autobiography / General

www.austinmacauley.com/us

First Published (2019)

Austin Macauley Publishers LLC

40 Wall Street, 28th Floor

New York, NY 10005

USA

[e-mail]

[phone]

Acknowledgement

I am deeply grateful for the people who have made a great impact on my life in my first half-century. Friends across the globe who have become my family, providing unwavering love and support; excellent bosses in various organizations who trusted me and gave me the opportunities to do new things my way; and my clients and mentees who share their journeys and give me permission to challenge them in order to explore new perspectives and hold themselves accountable.

To Peter Elston – thank you. I learned a great deal about myself during our years together.

Prologue

This book is a result of many years of reflection on my fifty-year journey so far, through failures and successes personally and professionally. My introduction to coaching some years ago made me acutely aware of the deeper feelings I was writing about in my dozens of journals – which I pull out of carefully sealed boxes every time I move through continents.

My unique upbringing in an Asian household on the edge of South America, in a West Indian culture, embroidered the threads that formed me from two very distinct parental backgrounds – each parent Asian, but with opposing ideas on parenting and how they demonstrate affection. I am probably one of the most multi-cultured people I know in a single human being, coming from such a colorful canvas, and furthermore, traveling the world and living in many different countries in my first half-century.

My career in communication was rich and filled me with satisfaction. I had the amazing experience to work with teams of people across many different countries and cultures, and I received invaluable lessons in human behavior. As a young woman launching myself into adulthood, life, and embracing every new adventure, I recognized that I was going to continue to decorate the fabric of my DNA with new experiences. Each year I play the movie My Life So Far and reflect on the risks I am taking when I am blossoming and what is holding me back.

Knowing that I was resilient as a child and young woman came relatively early, I clearly had the bravery to make difficult and unpopular decisions throughout my first half-century, and I developed a tenacity and grit that went beyond resilience which stemmed from striving for a better life. I have used the help of counseling and coaching to dissect my thoughts and some deep regrets over time. At various stages, the different types of support have been instrumental in moving my thinking forward to give me the motivation I needed and in some cases, a really hard kick on the backside.

I am grateful for the remarkable friendships I have – men and women, who over the years have given me support, love, and immeasurable kindness. I continuously strive to ensure we feed each other the same way and I will carry these deep connections in my heart forever. The greatest lesson I have learned is that living a full life must include resolute friendships and laughter. There is no other remedy for your soul than a friend who understands and connects with you in a way that feels like you are parts of one – each conversation fills your heart and you genuinely love every difference and every similarity in this stranger.

My partners who have shared large chunks of my life have made a deep impact and I carry no resentment whatsoever that we are divorced. I am stronger and more aware of what I love about life as a result of their presence.

And finally, from witnessing all the trends in mindfulness, chasing dreams, being unapologetic, authentic living, practicing good virtues, and all the rest, none of our goals and dreams would be possible without personal strength and drive to make it happen. My hope is that more people see the necessity in risk and take each situation one at a time. There will be huge pitfalls and mistakes made. However, along the way we become braver and more knowledgeable about the richness in living, rather than letting our lives simply go by.

The Flux of Love and Loathing

What an incredible sequence of events the last few years! Uncomfortable holidays and weekends, including memorable trips to exotic locations around the world at great expense – my daughter in all her glory as a beautiful young woman finding her way; myself, feeling desperately trapped in my environment and in my skin, with the occasional walk-about in my head. And the saddest part, I was in my second marriage that was only two years old when these painful sensations started to land with a thump in my chest.

I wanted to run away and flee from my life, my marriage and my home; at the same time, I felt this deep-rooted sense of responsibility, guilt, and hate for myself that I could be so stupid. Aren’t second marriages supposed to be the smart choice? Didn’t I consider this very carefully and all its merits before taking the leap? I felt like a fool and a fraud. I had tricked my brain into a false sense of security. I was in love with the fact that I had found a fun companion to live with and to go on holidays together.

What unfolded since those intense emotions bubbled to the surface has been like a movie – sometimes in slow motion, and at other times, quite an action-packed blur past my eyes. My brain has gone into overload so many times that I lost count – I have to stop myself from reaching for the Advance Panadol to dull the physical pain. The sheer sadness of my situation led me to think of ways to move on and push the restart button.