The Pocket Encyclopedia Of Narcisism - Volume 2: 50 Best Quora Answers On Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, And Recovery

By LEE MILLER

Praise For:

The Pocket Encyclopaedia
of Narcissism
Volume 1

October 22, 2019 - Amazon 5* review

Straight to the point and full of legit information. Looking to educate yourself on the narcissistic personality? I’d recommend you start here. If you are like me and questioning everything about the narc then let this book answer all those questions for you. Get closure like I did.

14 October 2019 - Amazon UK 5* review

Ive had the question WHY ? in my head every day since I was discarded - its been driving me insane. All those endless questions are now answered! And now I know...God I wish Id had this book 6 months ago! if you are recovering from Narc abuse, seriously, BUY THIS BOOK. No padding, no filler, just straight to the point answers. And its a life changer! who knows; maybe I can sleep tonight without the questions going around and around in my head. Thankyou!

16 October 2019 - P. G. HUNTER - Psychologist

Everyone should take the time to learn about narcissism, sadly, it’s a requirement of modern life. A great place to start is one book called “The Pocket Encyclopaedia of Narcissism”. It has the highest ‘information density’ of any book on the subject, meaning it is just facts and examples, no filler, no padding. You will learn more, and understand more about narcissism and recovery per minute invested [in reading] than any other book out there. It covers everything from how narcissists are created to how to get them out of your life for good. How to spot the red flags and how to prevent them from targeting you in the first place.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lee & Lee
• Release date: Oct 31, 2019

Book preview

Narcissism

Volume 2

50 More Of The Best Quora Answers On Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, And Recovery

Lee Miller

©  Lee Miller, Burgas, Bulgaria, 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Praise For:

The Pocket Encyclopaedia

of Narcissism

Volume 1

October 22, 2019 - Amazon 5* review

Straight to the point and full of legit information. Looking to educate yourself on the narcissistic personality? I’d recommend you start here. If you are like me and questioning everything about the narc then let this book answer all those questions for you. Get closure like I did.

14 October 2019 - Amazon UK 5* review

Ive had the question WHY ? in my head every day since I was discarded - its been driving me insane. All those endless questions are now answered! And now I know...God I wish Id had this book 6 months ago! if you are recovering from Narc abuse, seriously, BUY THIS BOOK. No padding, no filler, just straight to the point answers. And its a life changer! who knows; maybe I can sleep tonight without the questions going around and around in my head. Thankyou!

16 October 2019 - P. G. HUNTER - Psychologist

Everyone should take the time to learn about narcissism, sadly, it’s a requirement of modern life. A great place to start is one book called The Pocket Encyclopaedia of Narcissism. It has the highest ‘information density’ of any book on the subject, meaning it is just facts and examples, no filler, no padding. You will learn more, and understand more about narcissism and recovery per minute invested [in reading] than any other book out there. It covers everything from how narcissists are created to how to get them out of your life for good. How to spot the red flags and how to prevent them from targeting you in the first place.

The Pocket Encyclopaedia

of Narcissism

Volume 2

50 More Of The Best Quora Answers On Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, And Recovery

Lee Miller

©  Lee Miller, Burgas, Bulgaria, 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

1 IS NARCISSISM A DEFENCE MECHANISM..?

The short answer is:

NO - IT IS A PERSONALITY DISORDER

However - the behavior of a narcissist IS a defense mechanism to hide the yawning chasm of emptiness and insecurity.

So what the outside observer sees is defensive behavior.

But the condition its self is not a defense mechanism - in fact, the condition its self is exactly what the behavior is fighting against.

Rather like an addled drug addict fighting an internal unseen but terrifying demon.

They abuse and boast to validate their existence - if you pay them attention, for any reason good or bad, it makes them feel like. they exist.

And if you stop giving them attention - they feel like they will die.

That is what they are defending against.

Sad, isn't it?

2 IS NARCISSISM UNIQUE TO HUMANS..?

The short answer is:

YES

For two reasons.

1) Narcissism is created mostly in childhood by the child skipping a developmental stage.

Either the child has to take on adult responsibilities way too young, or, the child is a golden child and never required to grow up.

You need an advanced welfare system in society to allow either of these two things to happen.

A dolphin that is required to be an adult early and has not learned the survival skills is a shark snack.

A dolphin that was golden and never learned to hunt food simply starves - especially now we ave fished the seas to the point there are 3 fish left.

2) Narcissism requires complex language skills

At the core of narcissism is the manipulation of other people and lies. That requires very complex language.

A narcissist is a child that never grew up and a child is at their pinnacle of narcissism when they are a baby. Every year that goes by the child becomes - or should become - more empathic and less narcissistic. But a child manifests its narcissism most around 10 or 11 years old.

At the confluence between advanced language skills and declining narcissism.

SO, narcissism is unique to humans AND it is a fairly modern invention.

Ugg in his cave did NOT tolerate Bugg never going on a hunt but always stealing the best piece of meat. Bugg got bumped on the back of the head very quickly.

And low murder rates are an incredibly modern invention. go back even 300 years and they were [from memory] 16 times what they are today. If you wanted to be a selfish asshole narc you damn well better be rich and have bodyguards otherwise you got knifed in the back pretty sharpish.

Just ask Caravaggio.

3 WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO GO NO CONTACT WITH NARCISSIST PARENTS..?

The short answer is:

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO DO THIS

1) The proverbial weaning them off approach

This takes 5, 10, 20 years and involves HUGE amounts of endless guilt from literally everyone on earth - ok, not literally. But it will feel like it is.

And because they are narcissists they will be WAY better at piling on the guilt than you are at brushing it off. AND they will bad mouth you to everyone you both know and get them to guilt you. AND all of this will be the source of endless ongoing arguments. AND, worst of all, you are living a guilt-filled life wondering every day if you should be doing this and THEY are in heaven because this fiasco - that is never-ending - is providing more supply to them than they were getting before.

THEY get to feel aggrieved, to moan about how badly you are treating them, to play the victim 24/7, to have all the arguments with you anyway, and to also have the pleasure of guilt-ing you for not giving them MORE arguments - it's a WIN-WIN.

AND most people never end up going no contact this way - its just one failed attempt after another for 40 years.

In summary its an sh1t solution [IMO]

2) Just go full no contact

The next argument - and there will be one - let it devolve into a proper screaming match. Walk out the door calmly declaring that is the final straw - I am not taking this anymore. And block them on everything.

SURE they will try and guilt you over it - but you won't hear it as they are blocked. Mutual friends and family MAY be drafted in to pressure you - but you can just say:

NO - I've had enough of the abuse - it's over

What you will probably find is most people will say yeah - I can understand. That's what happened to me and my family and friends - there were actually very supportive.

BUT - I would caution against trying to recruit people to your side - don't explain your decision, don't whine or moan, just calmly and firmly say NO - I've had enough of the abuse - it's over.

The whole guilt trip etc will likely not last more than 2 or 3 months as your parents cant talk to you to guilt you and other people have better stuff to be doing with their lives.

4 WHY AM I A NARCISSIST MAGNET..?

The short answer is:

WE ARE DESTINED TO RECREATE OUR CHILDHOOD IN OUR PARTNERS

Well, that's the classical answer - and one I do believe.

Anyone can become the victim of a narcissist - but if you delve into the upbringing of people who are repeat victims you will very often find that a parent [or other carer] was a narcissist.

Strangely - even people who can identify their partners as a narcissist. And themselves as a serial victim. Often can not identify their parent as a narcissist - until it is pointed out to them.

Which is a shame, because knowing you had a narcissist as a parent and that makes you especially drawn to narcissists is a GREAT help in avoiding them in the future.

So I would suggest you start by analyzing your parents - is one of them a narcissist and perhaps you never noticed.

Certainly, for me, it was not until I had been destroyed by a narcissist that I realized my father was a very obvious narc……….

5 HOW DO I TRIGGER THE NARCISSIST INTO DUMPING ME..?

The short answer is:

DON'T BOTHER ITS POINTLESS

I'm guessing your goal is to avoid much of the unpleasantness of the vicious reprisal and the smear campaign.

YOU WON'T

It is entirely irrelevant who dumped who and for what reason.

The narcissist already pretty much hates you and is only keeping you around to provide supply. Your days are already numbered. That started the day the love-bombing stopped.

The clock is ticking.

And the narcissist's primary goal after ANY discard is to STOP PEOPLE TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY in case you out them for what they really are.

So they are going to smear you regardless.

The other goal is to extract some last bit of supply, so they will attempt vicious recriminations as their parting shot. So they will do this regardless.

Then the third goal is to hoover you back up into a relationship with them again at some point in the future when they are low on supply.

The way to MINIMIZE the horror is to:

PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE

And then go FULL NO CONTACT

It won't stop the retribution, the smear campaign or the hoovering - but mostly you won't know about any of it and in this case, ignorance really IS bliss.

6 WHY DO NARCISSISTS GET SO MUCH UNDESERVED ATTENTION..?

The short answer is:

BECAUSE THEY ARE AMAZINGLY GOOD AT GETTING IT

The first thing you have to realize is a narcissist feels like they do not exist unless they are getting external validation - attention.

And to a narcissist, ANY attention is good attention. Sure that would prefer you to be lauding them and telling them how great they are - but screaming and shouting at them for doing something wrong is still WAY better than not existing.

One of the big mistakes people make is to assume the narcissist does not understand what they have done wrong - rubbish!

They are a narcissist NOT an idiot…!

Angel, my personal narc monster, was quite literally the most intelligent person I have ever met. She got a special commendation at her graduation ceremony for her masters. She had got 100% in ALL 150 odd exams over the 4 years that made up her masters degree - now I would have just thought she was lying obviously - but I was AT