Wacky Gecko II: II, #1

By Moein Uddin

Sharply amusing satire, presented in a moment in history, when mainstream media continually disseminates fake news and alternative facts and political correctness is slowly eroding all political discourse and trust. The Gecko uses humor to unmask the prevailing power of narrative. Each chapter of the book teaches prophetic lessons that any reader can benefit from. This book will keep you laughing and pondering through the last page. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: WackyGecko.com
• Release date: Sep 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9780966160154

Book preview

The tale of a Wacky Gecko continued...

Oh well... where did we leave off?

"Extra! Extra! Extra! Read all about

it! Gecko tells it all as he sees it."

That’s swell.

"Quit fucking around! Get off my

back, you doggone bratwursts."

Don’t go there! I thank you very

much.

"I am having too much fun...

yes...yess...yesss!"

Oh no...wait. I am not finished yet.

Where were we? Oh, yeah! "Myth and

ghost busters." Holy cow!

Back off. Phooey! Does anyone have a

problem with that? Damn right. Chikchak.

Folks, keep an open mind and don’t

make any assumptions.

Beats the hell outta me?

Awright, awright, awright.

You morning woods, I hope you wake

up your cherry patch with a little

foreplay...not like us poking them while

they are half asleep.

"You homos—I mean Homo Sapiens—

or whatever."

Your consciousness is soaking in past

conditioning with fear and ideological

slavery that you jackanapes keep wagging

your tails. Bitching, busting your ass,

bent all out of shape.

"Leave me out of this! What have

you...a few loose screws?"

~ ~ ~

Ptychozoons, or flying geckos, are

forest dwellers and need humid shelters

to stay healthy. Ptychozoons do not bask

or tan, and eat a wide variety of insects;

to name a few, scrumptious waxworms,

mealworms, and good old pain-in-the-rump

darn flies.

Who knows what is lurking in them there woods?

Assumption in the freakin’ dictionary

means: A thing that is accepted

as true or as certain to happen, without

proof. Also I guess it stands for the

damn bodily reception of the Virgin Mary

into heaven.

Eat your heart out, California girls.

A doctrine of the Roman Catholic

Church.

Holy shit!

Thus, you are brought up in a

background of lies.

You know what I mean?

Don’t shoot the messenger yet! To

put it all in a nutshell, almost all decisions

you make are from either authority or

trust.

Take my word for it.

I don’t know.

Good.

Travel around the Earth and you will

see what I am talking about; different

religions, cultures, languages, superstitions

and rituals. Sitting in your neck

of the woods you think you know it all,

dumb ass, ...because, hey, it works.

Babbling bums! Go stuff your fart tubes.

Will be back... Gecko chomping all

the crusty insects.

Priests and politicians don’t solve

problems, but create more. Listen to the

speeches of public servants and

manipulators. They repeat the same damn

thing over and over again. Publicly they

say one thing, then they actually do

another.

The buck stops with me!

It’s their self-defense and you buttplugs

fall for it.

So what’s new?

More bullshit on the way. That one is

for the history books.

~ ~ ~

Let’s not forget geckos, also called

Gekkonidae, have big heads and big eyes.

Never—I mean never—confuse us with

the one-eyed burping gecko.

"Cuzzzz...I’ll fuck you and bite your

fat ass."

There are more than 800 different

species of geckos. Anyway, who is

counting? Geckos live in warm weather

and eat scrumptious beetles and all kinds

of yucky, mucky insects.

~ ~ ~

Now, let’s get back to where we left

off. What does conditioning mean in the

New College Dictionary, or any of those

big fat encyclopedias? They should go on

a low-carb diet.

Just kidding!

Conditioned, or to be conditioned

means: To have a significant influence on

or determine the manner or outcome of

something. It also means: To train or

accustom someone or something to

behave in a certain way or to accept

certain circumstances.

You know? "Don’t make a mistake.

Cover your steak or harness the pygmyman

before entering the bushy clam, or

put a condom on Old Pete and then grind

her meat." Jackass!

I read somewhere that in science

lavatories they condition brethren rats

through external stimuli. Sorry, I meant

laboratories. You know, the damn experiments

they do in lab class to show

that you can condition rats to behave in a

certain way. You bumbling twits are also

part of the same experiment, except now

they use another sweet-sounding word:

subliminal, or good old subliminal

advertising.

You know what I mean—capitalistic

hype to buy your votes. These political

ads distort facts because nobody gets to

read the fine print. Then these son of a

bitch propositions come out of the

Hershey Highway. "I guess