Wacky Gecko III: III

By Moein Uddin

Sharply amusing satire, presented in a moment in history, when mainstream media continually disseminates fake news and alternative facts and political correctness is slowly eroding all political discourse and trust. The Gecko uses humor to unmask the prevailing power of narrative. Each chapter of the book teaches prophetic lessons that any reader can benefit from. This book will keep you laughing and pondering through the last page. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: WackyGecko.com
• Release date: Sep 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9780966160123

Book preview

WACKY

GECKO III

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Moein Uddin

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Illustrations by

Nizam Uddin

Wacky Gecko

Copyright © 2019

By Moein Uddin

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

ISBN  978-0-9661601-2-3

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Published by

www.wackygecko.com

SmileGekk

The tale of a Wacky Gecko continued...

Oh! Cha-cha-cha, my sweet OLE Cherry! Yikes?

Sorry, folks, I meant chik-chak!

Watch this? If you can’t fuck it, shit on it. Dude, no sucking and touching, damn it.

Well, hellooo...? Where is everybody? Hey, I am not finished yet! Isn’t that right, my brother? Yo!

Gecko tells it all as he sees it!

UP TO THE MINUTE BREAKING NEWS!  Gotcha! This idiocratic system of government—you know, democracy, freedom, free market and all this crap! Ha-ha-ha-ha...more power to you.

Don’t tase me, bro, don’t tase me! I screwed up?

Speaking freely, All is not created EQUAL! Even I don’t buy that. Wheeee... You morons will love this. Got me a bitch, gonna set my soul, gonna set my shrubs on fire!  Sorry, I means soul on fire.

Pretty cool, ehhh...?

Democracy crapola! I mean, no universally accepted definition of democracy exists. Sorry to have to hurt your feelings blockheads, boneheads, and noodleheads.

Anyway, definition of democracy, from the Greek work "demokratina, Demo+kratia or whatsoever! A system of government by the whole population or all eligible members of a state. In other words, rule of the majority. Then you have those endless spins, interpretations, Dudes, democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people." Get outta here! Damn democracy is based on the stupid assumption that millions of dickheads are wiser than one talking head.

Brush up your Gekkonidae! Let’s go through some of the important facts which you may already know. No, chik-chak.

SmileGekk

Geckos are nocturnal. If you don’t know, it means active during the night. Don’t get any dirty ideas, you homo sapiens, no nothings, or whatever. Our species needs heat and light to raise the body temperature, otherwise we can’t digest food.

If you want to keep us as pets, most libraries and pet shops have important info on how to breed, raise, and take care of us critters. If you are lazy like us, go on the damn internet and you will find us. No bull!

To tell you right off the bat, we have no balls, but have a big bulge where our two penises hang loose. Got it? Any questions? Shhhh...  In captivity our brethren eat crickets, slimy worms, mouth-watering cockroaches, and my favorite, pinkies. Not the thing, dummy! Oh, stop!

Toes

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Let’s go back to democracy and all this crap. There have been many varieties of democracies which have flourished throughout your tumultuous history. FYI, here is a partial list. Ready, get set, go! Anticipatory Democracy, Athenian Democracy, Constitutional Democracy, Direct Democracy, Islamic Democracy, Messianic Democracy, Representative Democracy, Republican Democracy, Social Democracy, and the list goes on and on... Yup-yup-yup!

Gecko lets out some belated wind.

GekkFace2

I guess, once upon a time there lived in a certain Cotton Rum Village, a cowboy who could not get a serviceable erection, so he decided to open a band with his other buddies who could not get it up.

Enough of that stuff! Are you with me? Good.

Got me a bitch, gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire. How this lonesome toad is sick of jam sessions on the road, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! He popped several boner pills and drove his truck at high speed to his sweet creature shack. Listening to the latest country hit, Viva Viagra.

Knock...knock...knock...knock-knock-knockkk!

His Red Riding Hood, wearing a see-through panty, answered, Who is there? She spied through the peep hole and saw her Tex standing at attention with a broad grin on his face. Oh! Gosh darn! she cried out. What the hell have you been knocking with?

Ya see ‘em, ma’am! He opened his fly and rammed his red hot tool through the barn door. Four-hour, solid like a rock. I meant, Viva, viva, viva Viagra.

All this talk of sex is driving me up the wall!

Excuse meee... Sweet Jesus... Whoa!

Sweet Jesus...Whoa...?

Oh, shit! Where were we? Anyway, who cares a rat’s tail? The earliest civilization where democracy was found was good old India. You know, the land of Manu, the god with a thousand eyes, huge cannon balls, and large crotch cobra? No! how about jumbo balls and a big dolphin. No! Sorry to hear that. Let’s try one more time. How about, "When he saw mother of demons, Doti, his giant testicles fell toward