The Idiota Code -Poppycock Place Series

By Tobias Dingbat

When four Zurich Gnomes of the American Capitalist Church are kidnapped, Noodles and Botzi are summoned by Papa Speculatus III to his Basilica, the Golden Sucks Tower on Wall Street to go on a mission and save them. The missing Capitalist monsignors are the only ones who hold the codes to the multi-billion bullion stored in Swiss caves. Our boys can’t unravel teaser clues which they found, and as a last resort they enlist the brains of the famous Negative Detective, Professor Matto Pipistrello to explain what is going on. Alas, some serious murders cause a change in plans, and the Bio-Teks have to return to tell the Papa he too is in great danger. The anti-clutter reactor which Noodles invented has been stolen from the CERN laboratories in Switzerland and the ancient brotherhood of the Calamari, thought extinct, has surfaced with a vengeance, not only to annihilate Papa Speculatus III but also the whole Capitalist Church....But wait! -There’s more.....

Who is Leonardo da Ladro? And what are chief Nazis Hermann Goering, Joseph Goebels, Heinrich Himmler and Albert Speer doing singing Wagnerian arrangements in the key of Hitler from the skies over Manhattan?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tobias Dingbat
• Release date: Jan 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9780987053312

Tobias Dingbat

Tobias Dingbat is interested in exploring the benefit of humour in young education as well as promoting good will among adults across the nations. "Sky Sailing Heroes" is Book 1 of an adventure series to come, which will develop more characters most of them being a bit eccentric. I hope to explore the interactions between "bio-born" and "techno-born" creatures, maybe raising interesting issues to confront us over the next 50 years. As I am no scientist, I will imagine with a sense of humour to shrug off criticism. It's a hobby, with a simple wish to entertain people.

Book preview

POPPYCOCK PLACE SERIES

The happy ghetto of the really cool

The IDIOTA CODE

A good old decaffeinated Murder and Violence Story.

No birds or animals were harassed in the making of this book.

Any person living, dead, or fictional who claims they resemble the characters in this book will be challenged in court before the King, to joust on horseback unless such person is under psychiatric care. The author affirms that if anything and everything inside this book resembles anything and everything outside this book it is pure co-incidence.

Dedicated to Teresa

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free eBook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please link to Smashwords.com to discover other future releases by this author. Thank you for your support

Written by Tobias Dingbat

Illustrated by Tobias Dingbat

Copyright 29 January 2011 by T. Dingbat

Published by Talljohn Pty Ltd at SMASHWORDS

ISBN: 978-0-9870533-1-2

The IDIOTA CODE

When four Zurich Gnomes of the American Capitalist Church are kidnapped, Noodles and Botzi are summoned by Papa Speculatus III to his Basilica, the Golden Sucks Tower on Wall Street to go on a mission and save them. The missing Capitalist monsignors are the only ones who hold the codes to the multi-billion bullion stored in Swiss caves. Our boys can’t unravel teaser clues which they found, and as a last resort they enlist the brains of the famous Negative Detective, Professor Matto Pipistrello to explain what is going on. Alas, some serious murders cause a change in plans, and the Bio-Teks have to return to tell the Papa he too is in great danger. The anti-clutter reactor which Noodles invented has been stolen from the CERN laboratories in Switzerland and the ancient brotherhood of the Calamari, thought extinct, has surfaced with a vengeance, not only to annihilate Papa Speculatus III but also the whole Capitalist Church….But wait! -There’s more…..

REVIEWS

What others are saying about The Idiota Code

Rating:___Star * Star * Star * Star * Star

Taking a coffee break during the Battle of Britain Winsome Churchill said this about ‘The Idiota Code’ Never in the field of human literature was so much written for so many and read by so few.

Abraham Lincoln put it this way, You can fool some people all of the time but not all the people all the time. ‘The Idiota Code’ therefore fills an important role - fooling all the people some of the time.

President George Brush: This book tells of a Mission Impossible that became a Mission Accomplished. Botzi and Noodles were CIA agents during the Iraqi war, working as court jesters for Saddam and distracting him into losing the war. Their work is still ‘Top Secret’ and secure from Wikileaks. After reading 2 pages all patriots should throw this book overboard from an air-craft carrier.

"Famous author Tobias Dingbat was in line to win a Pulitzer Prize last night but strayed behind a queue leading to a soup kitchen. He took home 2 pullets instead." The New Yolk Times.

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Please check more reviews at the end of this book for other great adventures now released, FREE.

Your feedback is appreciated- please email: [e-mail]

or visit our website at: http://www.poppycockplace.com

The IDIOTA CODE

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter___3

Chapter___4

Chapter___5

Chapter___6

Chapter___7

Chapter___8

Chapter___9

Chapter__10

Chapter__11

Chapter__12

Chapter__13

Chapter__14

Chapter__15

Chapter__16

Chapter__17

Chapter__18

Chapter__19

Chapter__20

Chapter__21

Chapter__22

Chapter__23

Chapter__24

Chapter__25

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One (1)

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"E 'fantastico -che funziona!" (It’s fantastic -it works!) Leonardo slapped his plans on the table in front of Lorenzo de Medici. The great Lorenzo screwed up his Bob Hope nose and stared at him.

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Back in 1490, Leonardo da Ladro (cousin of da Vinci) made a deal with Lorenzo de Medici, great wealthy patriarch of the fabulous de Medicis, promising him he will turn lead into gold. Da Ladro really believed in the idea and employed hundreds of learned practitioners or ‘scientists’.

After ten years and investing millions of gold coins, Lorenzo wanted to pull out and wanted his money back. Da Ladro said he didn’t have it. Lorenzo demanded all those scientists captured and put to work for him as slaves, for the rest of their life to pay off the debt.

The scientists said nix, they had worked for the money and weren’t going into slavery as well. Lorenzo got angry and had a few murdered to frighten them. The scientists murdered some of Lorenzo’s bankers in revenge. Bodies floated in the Grand Canal of Venice.

Da Ladro purchased a cadaver and used it as a proxy to stage his funeral in Venice and get Lorenzo off his back. That done, he sailed to America to develop a recipe making a brown gassy drink laced with cocaine.

One night he drank half a dozen bottles, using too much seasoning. At daybreak, thinking he could outdo his famous cousin, by solving the mystery of flight singlehanded, he glued feathers all over the torso of his drunken drinking mate and pitched him out of a barrel as they rode it down over Niagra Falls.

He later claimed a series of firsts. First Italian to plunge down Niagra Falls, First Stoned Dare-Devil over the Falls, First and Last Attempt to Fly a man away from the Falls etc....

A half-feathered body was found three days later.

A hobo noticed a piece of paper in the poor dead man’s wet pantaloons and quietly took it home. It was handed down through ten generations of the hobo’s family until finally a smart young man decided to try the recipe. He first called it Conka Clonka (brand names were unimportant in those days), but his grandfather, tired of losing his dentures every time he said it, came up with a smoother handle and the rest is history.

The tit-for-tat murders would sometimes wane through the centuries and things would go quiet. But once in a while someone would remember the memory of a murdered ancestor and go looking for a victim. Bankers murdered Scientists (strangled by bankruptcy leading to starvation), or Scientists murdered Bankers (Merry Christmas cigars made of plastic explosives).

We take up the story to-day with two questions –Why are these serial murders happening once again? And –who is behind this outrage?

Why? The supposed reason is revenge –the Calamari symbol on each murdered victim. Another rumoured reason is a Mafia inspired plan to break the bullion vault deep inside a Swiss Mountain and blame it on the possibly extinct Calamari.

Once a year, during the Ceremony of The Bonuses, Four Gnomes of Zurich, eminent monsignors of the Capitalist Church, are appointed to press their left ear one after the other to an image-reading device to open the massive doors of the grand bullion vault buried in the Swiss mountains.

(Eye-ball security reading was abandoned after numerous incidents of eye gouging happened, a sloppy technique suddenly made fashionable in a popular book of fiction. Eyeballs were stolen and used to gain entry to Top Secret Science Labs, DisneyLand, basketball games, Masonic Balls (aprons only), executive toilets, etc. On the positive side, these atrocities highlighted recognition of a disabled sector and opened new career opportunities for specialists -one-eyed judges, umpires, parking inspectors, pirates, etc.)

Please take a deep breath and read on......

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Two (2)

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"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." -said honest Abraham Lincoln, former president of the United States.

- HAR!-HAR ! That motto is a salesman’s delight ! By logical extension there is always somebody ready to buy something useless sometime.....argued shifty Noodles, as he thought up ways to make a quick buck........

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