Wacky Gecko: I

By Moein Uddin

Sharply amusing satire, presented in a moment in history, when mainstream media continually disseminates fake news and alternative facts and political correctness is slowly eroding all political discourse and trust. The Gecko uses humor to unmask the prevailing power of narrative. Each chapter of the book teaches prophetic lessons that any reader can benefit from. This book will keep you laughing and pondering through the last page. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: WackyGecko.com
• Release date: Sep 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9780966160161

Book preview

ISBN 0-9661601-6-9

Published by

www.wackygecko.com

A Tale of a Wacky Gecko

with a Twist

Folks! Lend me your fuzzy earlobes, just for a short time, wagging his translucent tail.

I am one of the most hopeless lizards living in this macrocosm. While my Gekkonidae Frenatus brothers are enjoying scrumptious pain-in-the-neck crickets, I am stuck with processed, un-organic muck. I can’t stand it.

Oh Jesus! What a big crown!

Applause...

My adoptive parents are fairies.

Hey, good lookin’!

Shut the fuck up! You think I am a chameleon? I’ll fuck the foursome of you. Damn fruit of the loom—I mean loins.

Chik-chak.

One overcast day I fell asleep in a public can inside a library—where I dreamt that I could read. So, I mugged up all the man-made myths, newspapers and magazines. Thus, I immediately climbed one of the computers and hastily—so I didn’t get stuck—printed this boloney.

What happens now is out of my control.

Today’s headlines. Read all about it. Gecko tells it all as he sees it.

Graph01

So what’s up, uh? Brother?

Mankind does not represent advancement toward a better being because there has been no improvement of the human psyche. You can see the so-called developed super powers.

Progress is just another passing fancy. Evolution has not elevated your Mickey Mouse mind. Your nature is still omni-animal. So what up, Brother? Tik-tik.

Each one of you writes what he believes to be true. I see in this plethora of today’s books so many tickets to the lotto, and in reality they have no value. Future windbags, forgetting some and rediscovering others, declare the winning numbers.

Oh my! These asswipe encyclopedias are so damn thick. Sheets and sheets of tree pulp. What a waste. Well, anyway. Freedom in this tree pulp means not under the control or power of another. Able to leap in any direction if the need arises. Not burdened by obligations or responsibility, debts, discomforts, etc., etc.

Oh! Homo sapiens? Do you know anyone who fits this description? Tsak-tsak.

Don’t look at me, I just took a dump.

I forgot, my old lady gave birth to twins. Havin’ my hatchlin’. You are a Gecko in love, and I love you too much, Babe. Yours truly! 

I have done my part. Completed the circle of life. One proud papa.

~ ~ ~ 

Shifting and rolling his eyes, crocodiles may grunt and the cobra may drool with venom, but we ghostlike critters have developed over the years a vocalizing style which makes us the slam dunk champions, or the Kobes, Magics, Jordans—not to forget dunkin’ dickie Wilt.  Tik-tik.

Let’s be serious for a minute. Print media, which is undoubtedly beneficial for the vast majority of know-nothings and among the know-hows, has from the past been the principal means for spreading ignorance and not nirvana.

Self-help books, novels, newspapers and magazines have become, in the twenty-first century, great grubstakes undertaking for the success of which a substantial number of purchasers is required.

Stone-blind follow the short-sighted.

What the dickens is going on! A handful of conglomerates now control over half the market. Another kick in the butt. Manipulate public opinion in favor of what they think is right or accepted.

Worst of all is that continually reading bad material, this instant entertainment stuff and the rest of the crap that goes on, the level of quality of what is being printed is now being pushed down lower and lower, and thus this super-duper mass of the so-called educated public or electorate is more and more stuck in the most hopeless, self-satisfied, cynical, and therefore incurable empty-headedness. Selfless bigots rule the world.

Not on my watch. Oh yeah, I have to take a leak. No, I mean a shit.

~ ~ ~     

Let’s go back to where we left off. Why should one stupid read another thickhead?

Butt-hole! It’s so simple. Thought is power.

Garbage in, garbage out. You know the old saying. Multitudes of newspapers and magazines sputtering double talk. How to be this, how to be that. You damn dysfunctional beasts of burden. Cut the bull, you morons. Wipe my ass, Pain Webber!

It’s an old adage: You can’t make a crow walk like a flamingo. I hope I read it right. So what’s new? Don’t make up your mind yet. For