My Tears are Champagne: Finding my individuality

By Tantaswa Cici

This book is intended to transform your tears to champagne. The author understands that tears are bitter and salty, but with a change of attitude and positive outlook on life one can change the bitter tears to champagne. 

In this book, I explore how finding your individuality can change your life from negative to positive  and how you can stop depending on circumstances or other people to determine who you are  or validate how you should look and what you should do about your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantaswa Cici
• Release date: Sep 23, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393373728

Book preview

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© Tantaswa Cici 2019

My Tears are Champagne

Published by My Tears are Champagne (Pty) Ltd

Umhlanga, Durban

[e-mail]

ISBN 978-0-6398224-0-2

eISBN: 978-0-6398224-2-6

audio : 978-0-6398224-1-9

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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Layout and cover design by Boutique Books

Dedication

I am dedicating my book to my mother, Tumeka Leticia Cici, for being a role model in my life and for making sure that she changes the history of poverty in her household by sending me to university.

I also dedicate it to my aunt, Nothozamile Ntleko Mlungwana, for being a mother to me while my mother was away making the means for our survival.

I dedicate it too to my only sibling, Nkosikhona Cici, for his support and making me feel like a big sister with his respect.

Lastly, I dedicate it to my son, Kwakheke Abelwe Cici, for his support, love and patience during the time I was writing and when I had to be away from home, and his excitement and enthusiasm for being part of my book and suggestion to convert some chapters to a kids’ version.

Preface

My tears are champagne: finding my individuality was born from the experiences in life that made me the woman who is so happy in her body today. When you are rejected by your own society, family and loved ones, you really cry tears of sorrow – and when things turn in your favour you still cry but tears of joy. Tears are a sign of relief in every situation. As you feel them running down your cheeks, passing your mouth and rushing to your chin, there comes your relief. At that moment you are the only person who feels the emotional pain deep inside and the joy that manifests as a smile thereafter. No one would know what you are going through; they can only try to understand, as our stories are not alike. And the reality is, you are the only one who can taste your tears as it would be a taboo and disgusting if someone else licked at them.

It is for that reason that it all depends on what taste you decide to enjoy in your tears. The tears by their nature are bitter, with lots of salt that stimulates your nerves when tears come out of your eyes making you sometimes feel like they are too hot. When they get into your mouth, they dilute your natural saliva and make your mouth taste different. It is that difference that either builds or destroys you, depending on how you accommodate it. I accommodated the bitter taste of my tears for many years, crying non-stop over my past and bad experiences, blaming everyone who wronged me when things were not going well, and I nearly gave up certain aspects of my life because I made myself believe that they were meant to be that way.

I enjoyed the bitter taste of my tears, but as soon as I decided to change my life for the better, I imagined a sweet taste to my tears. They still tasted the same way (salty) but in my mind I was looking beyond that and decided to pretend that they were sweet.

Champagne is sweet and is usually used when one is celebrating some milestone or achievement. Even though there was nothing much to celebrate, thinking positively and acting positively about my life was enough for me to drink a toast.

Being positive means I finally found my individuality, my uniqueness, my separate existence, and especially my originality. At this point in my life I stopped depending on circumstances or other people to determine who I am, or validate how I should look and what I should do about my life. By so doing, nothing deters me in pursuing my soul purpose and my heart’s desires – and here I am today, very happy, able to write this book and become naked to the world about my past and how I felt, in order to link it to my present and navigate my future.

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Growing up in the eastern side of the Eastern Cape Province in a small town Tsomo, Nyanisweni Village, where I started schooling at Nyanisweni Junior Secondary School, was always exciting. Leaving the village during school holidays and going to the city of gold – Johannesburg