The Mad Book Of Wit & Humor

By Nat Case

This is a funny, crazy book by an author who has a great sense of humor and who is more than eager to share it with others. The author Nat Case may indeed be the clown prince of humor.

 

General Comments: This book is very cheeky and interesting.

 

 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nat Case
• Release date: Jul 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393060185

Book preview

PREFACE

This book is targeted at the sane reader who wants to experience some zaniness and madness for kicks. The book will get madder and madder as the reader reads on. The madness is lighter at the beginning of the book as there is some fear that the reader can’t take it if the dose of madness is too strong initially. It is hoped that eventually, towards the end of the book, the madness is so strong that it would drive the sane reader nuts so that he would seek asylum in the sanatorium. Ha! Ha! Just joking though it’s true the humor gets madder further in the book.

What follows is a comedic story on areas such as social interaction, success and failure, looks, commerce, etc.

Nat Case

CONTENTS

Wit & Humor

WIT & HUMOR

Men dream of beauties. Women dream of being in that dream. 

Those who admire beauty who has gone plastic unknowingly admire her plastic surgeon’s skill.

A beauty may spend a beautiful sum on beauty products and treatment resulting in an ugly balance in the bank. 

The beauty-conscious may keep looking at own reflections, even reflections in water in toilet bowl.

One who is to go under knife (plastic surgery) may go under wrong knife (suffer knife-attack).

One gone under the knife to look like idol could be mistaken for idol’s ghost if idol is not alive.

Those who dislike fakes may prefer real ugliness to fake beauty.

Handsome who is keen to be a film star should frequent places where film producers are found, even if it is haunted houses.

For example, handsome meets film producer studying paranormal in a haunted house (good luck if she-ghost(s) fall for him).

Who knows? One with the film star looks may be discovered by film producers/directors while at the urinal/toilet.

One does not need to look like a film star to be a star in a film, e.g., one dressed as a twinkling star to play a real star in the sky.

Beauty is one of the most important aspects of life, if not the most important.

It is a beautiful fact that the beautiful gets admiration and esteem. 

It is an ugly fact that the ugly gets no admiration and esteem. 

Horror Of Horrors: Would it not be thrilling to read ghost stories in a haunted house? Anyone game for it?

Would it not be really thrilling to watch a ghost movie in a haunted house? Seems a good   moneymaking idea for cinema owners.

Those who enjoy ghost stories should meet real ghosts and enjoy the real ghost story.

Meeting Real Ghosts: Imagine at a Halloween party you unknowingly meet some real ghosts instead of fake ghosts/people disguised as ghosts.

Quick-thinking monstrous-looking guy cons man: I’m attending Halloween party. Man: So your looks’ only a disguise!

Monstrous-looking may attend Halloween party in the disguise of a very handsome man with film star looks - the ladies swoon.

A person may be so unbelievably monstrous-looking that he is mistaken for film extra in monster make-up. 

A curious person may pinch his face to check if it is monster make-up causing yell of great pain. 

One can look like anything, e.g., film star, king, president, monster, ghost, extra-terrestrial. Plastic surgeon can fix it.

A nut may want to look like a plastic surgeon. If plastic surgeon can make this nut look like him he may have an identical twin.

Logic Worthy Of Sherlock Holmes: To be beautiful is to spend money on cosmetics, fashion and plastic surgery. Thus money is the ultimate beauty.

Further Logic Worthy Of Sherlock Holmes: Hence an ugly person with money for cosmetics, fashion and plastic surgery is beautiful.

Though beauty and intellectual activity normally do not go together, a beauty may be a bookworm, i.e., voracious reader of beauty books. 

To be beautiful is to be able to make men’s hearts beat faster possibly causing heart attack in men with weak hearts. 

An ugly lady can be called beauty queen if she is beauty product top salesgirl or CEO/owner of popular beauty company.

An ugly lady may look like a beauty queen in that her hat may be shaped like the crown of a beauty queen. 

A lady asking plastic surgeon to make her look like a beauty queen may end up getting a crown from the surgeon as well. 

Installment payment for plastic surgery - surgeon may provide partial service paid for. Result: Partial beauty. 

Ugly want to be beautiful. Beautiful want to be more beautiful. Many want to be just average. Crackos may want to be ugly. 

Many believe beauty is a gift of God, making God the ultimate Beautician.

A beautician whose genius ideas make many beautiful can be called the Einstein of beauty.

In photo a person may look as beautiful as a film star while in person she may look like an ugly witch disappointing many eager men. 

On the other hand a person may not look beautiful in photo but look as beautiful as a film star in person surprising many men. 

The appearance of a person is like the cover of a book and may not tally with what is inside the person. 

A beautiful person may use beauty to fool another person.

Many wish to look like their favorite film star/singer. Why not also be star/singer?

Today’s world is one of plastics - plastic glasses, plastic credit cards, plastic surgery, etc.

Breast implant surgeon may practice surgery on breasts of lunch/dinner chickens with knife.

For the more humble, they may just want to be average looking.

For some, beauty is so important that they rather be a beautiful fool than ugly but smart.

Beauty can be free if, as the saying goes, just feeling beautiful makes one beautiful.

An ugly iconoclast/ugly sceptic when seeing own ugly image in mirror may blame it on mirror.

We are exhibitionists. Whatever we do, e.g., beautification, is for others to appreciate/admire.

The beautiful feels admired, confident and show off. The ugly feels shy and tries to take cover.

The beautiful tend to think that since they have it good they should flaunt it.

The ugly tend to hide it, e.g., those with elephantine legs hide them in extra baggy pants.

All people, even the ugliest, are beautiful to carnivorous animals, as beautiful meals.

A beauty hitched to an ugly man are called beauty and beast. Handsome man hitched to ugly lady?

Can handsome man hitched to ugly lady be called prince charming and witch?

Can handsome man hitched to beauty be called fairy tale couple?

Can ugly man hitched to ugly lady be simply called beasts?

What of average-looking couple, average-looking/good-looking couple, average-looking/ugly couple?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all? Ugliest may be fairest, i.e., least prejudiced.

Lucky man! Man with beautiful wife, children who are beautiful daughters, beautiful secretary and beautiful lady boss.

Portrayal