Relationship Gems

By Efrem Windom

Relationship Gems is a book that is power packed with short topics that will surely spark your thinking in regards to relationship issues! It covers marriage, divorce, workplace relationships, dating relationships, family relationships and even provides topics that will bring healing for those who have been wounded in a failed relationship. This book will prepare the single, will preserve the married, and help build healthy families!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Efrem Windom
• Release date: Jul 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781733606189

Book preview

Dream Life Publishing

P.O. Box 6405 McKinney,

TX 75071

www.RelationshipPastor.org

© 2019 Efrem J. Windom, CBT.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by Dream Life Publishing 2019

ISBN: 978-1-7336061-0-3

This book printed in The United States of America.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible: New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson,

Scripture quotations noted NLT are from the New Living Testament Bible. Copyright © 1996,2004 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Scripture quotations noted CSB are from the Comparative Study Bible. Copyright © 1999 by Zondervan.

Scripture quotations noted MB are from the Message Bible. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by NavPress Publishing Group.

To Alicia my dear wife, your love and support is more than I could have imagined. It is because of God and you that I have completed my first book. Thank you and I love you.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Section 1: Gems for the Soul

Gem #1 - One of the Greatest

Gem #2 - Honesty

Gem #3 - Self Inventory & Quarterly Audits

Gem #4 - Inner Confl ict

Gem #5 - Ignorance

Gem #6 - Foolishness

Gem #7 - Your Conscience

Gem #8 - Are You F. A. T.?

Gem #9 - Dysfunctional Areas

Section 2: Gems for Healing

Gem #10 - Moving on is a Decision- Healing is a Process

Gem #11 - A Time to Heal

Gem #12 - The Blame Game

Gem #13 - Un-forgiveness

Gem #14 - From Caterpillar to Butterfly

Gem #15 - Disappointments

Gem #16 - Betrayal

Section 3: Gems for Building

Gem #17 - Deal-Breakers

Gem #18 - The Power of Choice

Gem #19 - Compatibility

Gem #20 - No Vision + Time = Waste

Section 4: Gems of Correction

Gem #21 - Wounds or Kisses

Gem #22 - Initiated or Allowed

Gem #23 - Victim or Volunteer

Gem #24 - Women that Breastfeed

Gem #25 - DNA (Doing Nothing At All)

Gem #26 - Great Lip Service but No Heart

Gem #27 - Different Man Same Issues Different Woman Same Issues

Gem #28 - Impatient Women & Hard Head Men -Part 1

Gem #29 - Impatient Women & Hard Head Men -Part 2

Gem #30 - Blind Women and the Snakes that Trick Them

Gem #31 - Doers & Hearers

Gem #32 - Distracted Men (Satan’s Game Plan)

Gem #33 - Triple ‘A’ Syndrome

Gem #34 - Baggage Handlers

Section 5: Gems for the Married

Gem #35 - Inner Circles

Gem #36 - Married but Living Single

Gem #37 - Divorce - The Great Escape

Gem #38 - Relationship Birth Control Pills

Gem #39 - Man of the House

Gem #40 - Deposits and Withdrawals

Gem #41 - Plate

Section 6: Gems for Spiritual Empowerment

Gem #42 - Speaking Well

Gem #43 - LOL- Labor of Love

Gem #44 - Who Can You Trust?

Gem #45 - Spiritually Unequally Yoked

Gem #46 - The Devil Made Me Do It

Gem #47 - Rape

Gem #48 - Lord or Just Savior?

Gem #49 - Effected Children

Gem #50 - Doing the ‘But’

Gem #51 - Relationship Idolatry

Gem #52 - Loving You but Hating Me

Gem #53 - Bastards or Sons

Gem #54 - Kissing Frogs- Trying to Find Your Prince or Princess

Gem #55 - The Ultimate Relationship

Section 7: Gems in the raw!

Gem #56 - Well I’ll be Damned or Should I say Dammed?

Gem #57 - Closed Legs = Less Sinful Soul Ties

Gem #58 - Fire Extinguishers

Gem #59 - New Year- Old Vomit

Gem #60 - Trapped in the Closet - Part 1

Gem #61 - Trapped in the Closet- Part 2

Gem #62 - AIDS- Affi rmation Intimacy Defi ciency Syndrome

Gem #63 - P M S

Gem #64 - Desiring to be Married - Living like a Whore

Gem #65 - Retarded Relationships

Gem #66 - Eye Candy

Section 8: Gems for Wisdom

Gem #67 - Comparisons

Gem #68 - The 4 Words

Gem #69 - Leadership vs. Manipulation

Gem #70 - Employee & Supervisor Relationships

Gem #71 - Workplace Relationships

Gem #72 - Expired Relationships

Gem #73 - 3 Types of People

Gem #74 - Busybody

Gem #75 - Titanic Relationships

Gem #76 - Controller

Gem #77 - Hotel or Home

Gem #78 - The Jonathan Heart

Gem #79 - Pacifiers

Gem #80 - Jezebel, Ahab, and Athaliah

Gem #81 - The Enemies That Att ack Relationships

Gem #82 - Contracts & Covenants

Gem #83 - The #1 Key to a Successful Relationship

Section 9: Life Gems

Introduction

Acknowledgements

Aspecial thanks to my wife & best friend Alicia. Thank you for loving me, supporting me, and for being a wonderful mother! You are truly an inspiration to me. Thanks for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. God gave me such a precious gift by allowing you to come into my life!

Thank you to my children, Jeremy, Ericka, Breylan, Love, & Zoë. Thanks for sharing me with the world and allowing me the time to write this book and thanks for being patient with my schedule.

Thanks to: Nurisha Liggins & Stellar Media Group. I am grateful to you for your integrity, friendship, and all the days we spent praying and believing God together! The best is yet to come for you!

Thanks to: My parents Johnny & Priscilla Young, James & Terry Windom. Thanks for being a constant support and for sharing your guidance and wisdom with me and my family. And to my siblings; thanks for your prayers & support.

Introduction

Our relationships with others can bring happiness, emotional stability, inner security, guidance, support and love into our lives. Our relationships can also cause pain, disappointments, mistakes, strife, un-forgiveness, bitterness, failure, and a plethora of negative emotions to manifest in our lives all while searching for that intimate and fulfi lling relationship with someone or a positive, healthy relationship with family members.

Everyone loves the positive fruit that manifests in a relationship but the challenge comes when it’s time to face the negative outcomes of a relationship. Everyone responds or reacts differently when it comes to dealing with a failed relationship and all the pain and hurt associated with the outcome. I have experienced many failed relationships in my day; some of the failures were due to my childishness and ignorance and some were due to me getting involved with someone who did not have my best interest in mind from the start.

I have shed many tears along the way and have dealt with the inner struggle caused by betrayal and the perception of failure. After experiencing my share of disappointments, anger, and confusion I decided to respond. This book is my response and its focus is to sound the alarm against unhealthy relationships which are most times caused by personal ignorance and bad decision making. My heart grieves over divorce, family strife, negative soul ties, and any other self-sabotaging inner issues that cause relationship failure. This book can act as a personal eye opener for any unexposed issues in your life; this book will also act as a preventive medicine for relationship failure.

Each gem is designed to stir your thinking and to motivate you to seek change from within your soul. Change on the outside starts with a change from within and my prayer for this book is that it will begin a change within your soul (your mind, will, and emotions). These gems have been birthed and inspired through my experiences in relationships, fi fteen years of counseling ministry, and most of all through revelation from God. I believe there are many ways to help bring wisdom and healing to those who are struggling in a relationship but the greatest way is through the power and wisdom of God.

Being involved in a relationship is inevitable and can’t be avoided whether it is a marital relationship, working relationship, social relationship, or a family relationship. The topic of relationships and the issues that haunt them will always have a place of discussion at kitchen tables all around the world. I pray that you read something that will stir your thinking, that will demand change in your life, and that will provide you with correction and guidance.

Please take these gems as preventative medicine so that you won’t need a miracle later in life! Wouldn’t you rather take a preventative medicine rather than needing a miracle? Many people live their lives saying if someone would have told me or if I would have known that I wouldn’t have fallen into the relationship or gotten married to that person.

You don’t have to live your life with I wish I could’ve or I wish I should’ve. Allow this book to provide you with the motivation, healing, correction, and guidance you need. Finally, I pray that you hear God’s voice in these powerful gems of wisdom. God wants to help you build healthy relationships and maintain them. One gem a day can keep ignorance away and cause your relationships to fl ourish day by day.

Efrem Windom

Gem #1

One of the Greatest

There are many opportunities that people pursue daily, monthly and even yearly. Many people pursue opportunities that will enable them to make more money and opportunities that will allow them to work for themselves and not having to drive to a dead end job everyday. They seek the opportunity that could some how cause their dreams and aspirations to come to life. Many people have described these types of opportunities as golden opportunities.

Everyone wants a golden opportunity that will cause them to live out their dreams and goals. My concern is that opportunities have come and gone in many people’s lives and they didn’t even know what to do with the opportunity when it came. One of the greatest tragedies in this life is the tragedy of missed opportunities.

It is a very painful experience once a person realizes that they missed a golden opportunity. I have seen this pain manifest many times when it comes to relationships. Many people have made some major mistakes when it comes to the relationships that they have gotten involved in or had given up on.

I remember when I graduated high school and began to make major decisions in my life. My parents would sit me down and give me their counsel and advice about my relationship with girls, money, and God. At the time I was young and ignorant. My father told me not to do certain things, not to go certain places, he told me to fi nd my purpose in life before I got married, and of course I did the total opposite. My father also told me not to have any children until I got married and matured as a man because I had a lot of growing up to do.

I received a lot of wisdom and wise counsel from my parents, church members, and school teachers while growing up as a young man, but I must admit that I didn’t always listen to them. I did hear what they were saying at the time but I wasn’t listening. My defi nition of listening is when you are hearing what someone is saying, receiving the correct interpretation of what is being said, and hearing what’s being said with a teachable heart. However, pride, arrogance, and a bad attitude allows a person to hear but prevents them from being a great listener.

It was only when I ran smack dab into the consequences of not being a teachable listener that I began to pray for another opportunity. I wanted another chance to obtain one of the greatest opportunities on earth and that is the opportunity to listen again! Later in my life I realized that all of my failed relationships were due to me not listening to the advice and wisdom that came to me before I even got involved in those relationships. I even realized that many of the fi nancial mistakes I made while as a young man were made due