Relentless Repetition

By Alessandro J. Mignone

By the author:

We generally know what we need to do to achieve those things we want out of life.  But an absence of knowledge isn't the issue for our unsatisfied dreams.  It's our inability to take that knowledge and apply it relentlessly and repetitively to ensure our desired outcomes are realised.  There is a very simple truth to goal fulfillment; if you don't put in enough, even if your reasons for not making a sufficient effort are justified, you'll likely not see your dreams realised.  An obvious fact, yet the human experience will prevent us from managing our thoughts unencumbered.  May this text be a constant reminder of this principle and keep you mindful of the control you actually do have on your own outcomes and how you ultimately perceive life.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: ALESSANDRO
• Release date: May 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393618683

Book preview

INTRODUCTION: RELENTLESS REPETITION

When it comes to dream realisation, the ability to be relentless can be more valuable than knowledge and skill.

Whatever it is you decide to do or become, a relentless commitment to the objective is the difference between achieving your outcome or inevitable failure.  The best intentions will only ever remain thoughts in your head, while consistent effort accompanied by regular mindfulness can bring about real change in your life.  And not the once off or random effort, but sincere and repetitive thoughts and actions that eventually become embedded daily occurrences, leading you in the direction of what you seek.  It would seem an obvious principle when stated plainly, but the difficulty bringing new opportunities and ways of thinking into our life can’t be underestimated.  As the years go by the more set in our ways we become, and the less willing we are to make sacrifices and push ourselves more than we need to.  It’s unfortunate that part of maturity usually involves coming to terms with unfulfilled dreams and letting go of improbable wants we maintained in youth.  But sadly, those dreams are often left unfulfilled only because we didn’t utilise the opportunities at the time to explore our potential due to feelings of fear and doubt, or because we held misdirected motivations, or even just because we were too lazy about it.  I couldn’t get the balance right for most of my young adult life; I would regularly make decisions without a sincere focus and didn’t understand that I could control my own happiness.  I thought happiness was measured by what I did, where I lived and how people perceived me, which is the reason I eventually burnt out from a shallow belief system and too many self-imposed pressures overwhelming me.  And often my perceptions weren’t even accurate and driven by insecurity and low self-esteem.  But now with the benefit of years and experience, I’ve come to realise the only person I need to satisfy is me, and those external considerations based on an impression I wanted to give weren’t ever going to satisfy or bring happiness.  If we’re uncertain about what we want and don’t put in enough effort, or if we try and live our life for others, its unlikely things will ever go our way because we lack the necessary sincerity and conviction to the outcome.  But if we maintain faith in our capacity and an unyielding commitment to the objective, then even in the absence of significant knowledge or talent, our self-assurance, perseverance and sheer relentlessness can be enough to see us through to getting what we want.  So, when it comes to dream realisation, the ability to be relentless can be more valuable than knowledge and skill.  I’m not suggesting knowledge or skill have no value – it’s your aptitude that makes you deserving of such fulfillment.  But without the ability to wholeheartedly and tenaciously commit for the duration, your knowledge and talent will never have the opportunity to reach its potential.  Every achievement starts with one step in the right direction, then a series of steps after that for as long as it takes.  And not every effort needs to be momentous; even the small steps in the right direction are moving you forward in a positive way.  You can’t automatically generate an outcome, rather you need to create a series of repetitive actions that culminate into what you want to achieve.  Success is rarely bestowed as a gift on the deserving; it must be sought out and stubbornly acquired.  Whether you fail or succeed is a very basic principle; if you work sincerely towards a highly sought-after outcome, you may very well end up with a highly sought-after result.  Aim low, and you’ll achieve just the same.  People will put off the journey towards their dream fulfilment because they’re waiting for a perfectly aligned series of events that they think will enable the direct link from where they are to the outcome they want.  But it’s not often such a perfect scenario is set up for us.  Rather, it’s a chance taken and an attitude of perseverance that better enables results because it helps overcome the inevitable obstacles and sees us through to where we want to be.  There’s little value in having talents if you lack the ability to overcome setback.  I’m always careful about what I expose myself to; I can be very easily affected by negative people and circumstance so it’s important I keep revaluating influences and ridding myself of any toxic personalities or detrimental effects around me, or at least be sure to maintain better perspective about such things that may impact me negatively.  Too many times in the past I’ve given validity to a negative opinion just because it’s been spoken by someone, as if somehow it became the truth when said aloud.  I was incredibly insecure in my early 20’s about my own value, and any opposing opinion - informed or otherwise, I found difficult to take and made me question my own resolve.  But I’ve come to appreciate that sincere trust in your goals needs to be immune from such influences because they only serve to distract us from what we should be doing for ourselves.  It took a long time, but through the course of making many bad choices I eventually started realising that I had to stop blaming circumstance or others for when I doubt my own resolve and give up.  Whenever I’ve given up on something in my life and haven’t followed through, it’s been my own fault.  I’m the only one responsible for how I process what‘s around me and solely responsible for managing the amount of effort I‘m prepared to make for those things I want.  I’m the one letting the negativity in, but I’ve also realised I have the capacity to reject those influences and focus only on thoughts that inspire and motivate me.  I can’t control what goes on around me, but I can control how I respond.  If you want to live a fulfilling life, be responsible for yourself and keep your mindset right.  The right mindset will better enable the realisation of your goals by attracting circumstance that will help you to achieve what you want, and a relentless commitment to such an improved mentality will enable you to keep it. 

OVERCOMING FAILURE

It‘s never a waste of time making an effort because at least it creates the possibility of something more.

Don’t consider the possibility of failure as purely a negative.  Even if it must be endured, the presence of failure isn’t representative of whether we’re ultimately able to get what we want.  Most likely, it’s a necessary part of our journey and what steers us in the right direction towards where we need to be, both physically and mentally, to achieve whatever it is we’re striving to achieve.  Too frequently people miss out on opportunities because of a tendency to give up at even the slightest criticism or complication encountered.  Worse still, some don’t even bother trying because of their expectation of failure.  But it‘s never a waste of time making an effort because at least it creates the possibility of something more, and whether it can be regarded as a success or failure is often a matter of perception.  There are undoubtedly lessons to be learned in failure that play an important part in our growth.  My failures have led me to this very happy and satisfied point in my life I now enjoy.  And I never would’ve landed in this precise spot without my successes, but also because of what I learned from those failed experiences.  Even the unsuccessful attempts have influenced my decision making moving forward.  But a complete absence of effort is a guarantee of no return, so the worst thing anyone can do is be too nervous to try.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained - it’s that simple.  Unless handed to you, anything worthwhile requires a degree of effort to attain, and most things within reason and sincerely committed to can be realised.  Facing and overcoming failure can also make your success feel so much more satisfying.  But the difficulty is that we’ll generally want to protect what we have rather than risk ourselves, so tend to play it safe through fear of loss and disappointment.  Despite our good intentions to improve our lives and live to our potential, we’ll often end up remaining where we feel most safe and secure, well within our comfort zone.  But it’s the ability to overcome these obstacles, self-imposed or otherwise, and move confidently into the uncertain that separates those who get what they want and those who are destined to remain perpetual dreamers.  And we’ve all experienced unfulfilled dreams and heard others aspire for things that never materialised, so it’s easy to believe your outcome being no more successful than everyone else’s failed attempt.  But knowing what you don’t want is the first step to avoiding failure.  Fear of failure will only prevent you from bringing something new and potentially wonderful into your life.  It may preserve you from possible disappointment or detriment, but it will never challenge or provide reward.  Admittedly, it’s natural and normal to feel some sense of fear or trepidation about the unknown; it only becomes unhealthy when that fear overwhelms our desire to succeed and prevents us from at least having a go.  Making mistakes is something we all need to deal with and the path to goal fulfilment requires the ability to face those errors and keep moving forward - despite the uncertainty.  It’s what’s learned from failure that helps inform and enable the outcomes we seek.  I think the point can be illustrated unquestionably well using Walt Disney as an example – who, apparently, in his youth was told several times he lacked creativity and wouldn’t amount to anything.  Imagine if Walt held on to this negative perception; he may have ended up a minimum wage store clerk in a less fantastical world that exists without the vast array of movie and theme park magic his gigantic studio now delivers.  His singular decision to remain committed to his dream despite the failures ended up changing the world.  And all significant accomplishments start with an initial step forward, then a series of uncertain and occasional missed steps, before the right series of steps are eventually taken.

JUSTIFIABLE EXCUSES

No one else really cares whether you’re taking up all opportunities and living the most fulfilling life possible.

Although our lives are busy, and although we can easily justify why we don’t have the time to commit to our aspirations - we’re only left with our unfulfilled dreams in the end if we don‘t explore what‘s possible, but instead make excuses why we can‘t.  Even if those excuses are justified.  A reasonable and rational excuse won’t bring you any closer to realising your objective, despite how reasonable that excuse is.  For example; if a person’s day job is demanding and their home commitments are substantial, it’s easy to appreciate why such a person doesn’t have time most days to work at their more personal aspirations.  But despite how justified the reasoning is - in the end, those explanations don’t bring that person any closer to fulfilling their individual goals.  I once worked with a man who had a dream of opening his own restaurant.  At the time we were colleagues in a law firm, but he didn’t enjoy the office environment and would speak constantly about what he believed was his true calling – to establish an authentic eatery that served home-style European cuisine.  He seemed to have such passion about his plans and would be very specific about how it would look and what he would serve; it appeared he had it well thought out and I truly believed he’d one day do it.  Months went by, and then years, with no apparent progress on the restaurant.  Then one day, out of sincere curiosity, I asked him how he was going with his plans.  He immediately became defensive, asserting how he hadn’t had the time to put any thought into it because of the demands of work; the fact he and his wife just had a child, and because he had been working for months every weekend at building an extension to his home.  The guy was clearly not lazy with his time, but he became defensive because I touched a nerve and my inquiry only reminded him about his own insufficient effort and unfulfilled dream about the restaurant.  I wasn’t trying to make fun and belittle his unsatisfied dream; rather I was simply asking how his progress was going - more so by way of encouragement.  But he took offense to it because he knew he had let himself down.  I fully appreciated the demands of his day job and life in general, and I even wondered how he could contemplate the time for much else given his already busy lifestyle.  I never doubted he was a hard working guy.  In Fact, I admired him for even maintaining such a hopeful dream about the restaurant because to me it demonstrated his passion to get the most out of life.  But in his mind, I was highlighting what he said he was going to do as his ‘passion project’, but hadn’t.  It didn’t bother me and I certainly didn’t judge him for it, but his legitimate and completely understandable reasons for not having moved forward on his goal didn’t bring him any closer to achieving it, regardless of how I felt about it or whether his reasons could be considered justifiable.  Regardless of what’s going on in your life, if you really want to see something happen - you need to make it.  Again, no excuse can help you.  Don’t justify why you can’t, work out how you can because you’re the one missing out if you don’t do something.  No one else really cares whether you’re taking up all opportunities and living the most fulfilling life possible.  The journey you’re on is about you only; everyone else has their own journey they’re trying to make the most of - dealing with their own challenges.  And in the end when you pass away, the world will keep turning and everyone you know will still get up the next day and go about their business, with their focus eventually back to themselves.  They’ll morn you for a period of time at best, but in a matter of weeks most people will move on and your very existence will have little consequence to their journey going forward.  And in that stark reality, live your dreams for yourself now and don’t waste another moment worrying what anyone else thinks or waiting for all the circumstances to be ‘right’ before you even start. 

ONLY 24 HOURS IN A DAY

There’s no reward without effort, so why hope for more out of your life if you’re not prepared to do anything for it?

There‘s only so many hours in the day.  And for most of us who find ourselves with a very busy daily routine and a sense that every minute is accounted for, it’s virtually impossible to create additional available time during normal waking hours.  It’s made even more difficult when you’re constantly exhausted, and after a long day it’s almost impossible to resist the desire to relax and do nothing, crash early, and then sleep-in for as long as possible in the morning.  And that’s fine; we’re perfectly entitled to unwind at home after a hard day’s work and enjoy our sleep.  But again, whether the time spent relaxing is reasonably justified or not won’t bring us any closer to realising our personal goals.  This is when one’s resolve is tested and we need to prove to ourselves how much we‘re prepared to resist our natural instincts - break the negative habit and change what we’ve always done.  How can there be change without actually changing?  At every opportunity to make a decision, we need to reconsider our usual reactions and decide to respond with a different mindset if we want to bring about different outcomes.  How