The Integrity Method

By T.K. Sanders

When you wake up in the morning, how does the thought of another day sit in your body? Do you sleepwalk through life in constant exhaustion, dealing with aches and pains, wondering why nothing seems to make sense and good luck never comes your way? If you feel anything other than excitement and anticipation in your body, you are likely battling with thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that began many years ago during a traumatic childhood. In fact, much of what you believe today was simply given to you by adults who were battling their own past traumas. The cycle keeps perpetuating itself until someone makes the choice to go a different way.

 

Everyone faces trauma in life, but very few know how to overcome the distinct scars that trauma leaves on the deepest layer of ourselves, which is our identity. The Integrity Method rebuilds your identity from the ground up over the course of six weeks. Each day, you will learn more about yourself and the importance of identity, like why you feel certain ways at certain times and how to choose a different path. Once you make the shift from pain into pleasure, you will learn how to consciously create your reality however you see fit. Maybe you want a big family, the freedom to travel, or the money to buy lots of beautiful things. When you shift your identity and align with your highest potential, creating your fortune becomes as easy as making a choice.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IFL Publishing
• Release date: Jan 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393624677

T.K. Sanders

T.K. Sanders is a Southerner who has lived on both coasts and definitely prefers sunshine to snow. Writing, teaching, and coaching make his heart sing and his mind froth with anticipation. Inquire about private coaching at www.inforlife.club.

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DAY 0

INTRODUCTION

WHEN WE THINK OF INTEGRITY, we typically think of morality, or of being a good person; but as you see, the meaning of integrity includes so much more than what we often consider. If this book has made its way into your hands, you are likely living a fragmented life of partial integrity: some days up, some days down—your mood flails about like the wind blows. That’s life, you think. However, the notion of partial integrity is an oxymoron; it does not exist because it cannot exist. You cannot be both whole and not whole; both unified and divided. Would you care to live in a house of partial structural integrity? Eventually, such a house could not even exist anymore; in time, it would collapse under its own pressure.

Rigidity, though, isn’t the answer, either. Not everything can be angular, hard, and sturdy. Hostility is rigid. Anger is rigid. A powerful life takes on a transient, flowing quality in which decisions are made one after the other (many without much consideration) that complement the sturdiness. This is why so many people find themselves stuck, wondering why their iron grip of assertion and control aren’t making them happier or more successful. Integrity appreciates the flow because it is comprised of emotions that also flow, like forgiveness, gratitude, and humility. The combination creates dependability through balance: soft and hard; rigid and flexible; geometry and movement. Even architects of skyscrapers must take into account bend and sway if their masterpieces are to stand the test of time.

Deciphering which aspects of your life require more strength versus which aspects require more flow is the great, shared task of all humanity. Most people face a life of hardship because they completely ignore the integral and focus only on the unpredictable conditions they face daily. It’s no wonder their lives feel like a dinghy in a hurricane. If we can train that aspect of ourself which steers the ship through the rapids of flowing life energy to adhere to undivided, unimpaired, sound principles of integrity, we can transcend the trappings of chaos and burden and can become masters of destiny.

A skilled creator of destiny adheres to eternal principles first, and then the flow of life second, because only the former is totally reliable. A true master of destiny finds the sweet spot in which both integrity and movement harmonize with precision. Becoming a master is no more difficult than deciding to first become a skilled novice—truly, the later steps of this journey are no more difficult than the first steps. All that changes is your level of trust in the process. Build your vessel with absolute integrity over the next six weeks, and then simply enjoy the ride.

I will teach you what strength really means; it doesn’t have to mean drab, stoic, or gruff. When strength is fully accounted for, life becomes a fun game of let’s see what else I can do. In fact, when you begin living with unshakeable integrity, your emotions will naturally elevate in ways that you likely consider silly or naïve at the moment. You’ll feel like a child, full of passion and excitement, ready to show the world your latest trick. Such is the nature of flowing from one amazing experience to the next.

Fair warning, though: if this process sounds like a worthy undertaking, then you must commit fully, which means being prepared to give up many habits and behaviors that you currently rely on for your faux-fulfillment. Again, you cannot be both whole and not whole. Without real commitment, you’re guaranteed to create more chaos in your life because the mind will have all of these new paths to consider while still clinging to the original, destructive path that brought you here. Fully committing doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re admitting any fault in the way you currently live your life; just that you recognize that room for improvement exists. You are either in or out.

People who live fragmented lives like to scoff at the process of tapping into strength and becoming elite because they perceive life in reverse: things happen to them and they must react accordingly, which infers that emotions are impossible to control. They believe that they are at the effect of life; this way, their failures can be sold as existential and beyond their control. There is nothing weaker, and therefore scarier, in a person’s psyche than deciding to create emotions based on circumstance. You must decide to be whatever you are before the world has a chance to assert its own warped opinion. Whatever you decide to be will dictate exactly what you get from this life.

If you look closely, the integrity requirement can be always be found, without exception, at the core of all timeless human achievements. What the amateur does not understand, though, in his fragmented viewpoint, is that the professional builds his life from the ground up, taking care to lay each brick in its perfect position so that the house may stand impeccably when the final nail is driven. All things make all other things either better or worse, and it is your responsibility as a person with integrity to choose what you know to be right. What you learn today should propel you into the perfect mindset to begin transforming fear into fortune tomorrow. When the lesson of integrity and all that it stands for is fully internalized as a microcosm of your true nature, life becomes much more fun because you understand the stakes of the game.

As your reward for choosing the path of dependability, I will show you just how fun life can be. At the end of this introduction, I promise to reveal the absolute key to living a happier, more fulfilling life—a key that you can implement right away. My only requirement for this key is that you don’t skim ahead; you must wait with bated breath and gleeful anticipation to receive the answer you’re seeking. No gimmicks or games; finish this introduction, and I assure you that you’ll never look at your life quite the same way again. We’re building a solid foundation from which all good things can flow forth. I know that if you do the work and feel the emotions of accomplishment, the key will transform the way you see your world.

How can I know anything this specific about you—a person who is unique and full of complexity? I know because I understand the nature of keys and the doors that they open. Without knowing where you’re going, a key isn’t necessarily all that it’s cracked up to be. Freely given away to you now, you wouldn’t value the key, nor would you know when or where to use it. You’d probably shrug, furrow your brow in doubt, or worse, lose it by tomorrow morning. To find value in the key, you’ll have to resist the urge to think about it, and instead, start turning some locks—a simple little task you’ve surely performed so many times that it can be done without even thinking about it. That is exactly where we want to end up: subconsciously performing basic, fun tasks that we know will benefit our greater good. You think about the door you’re about to enter, not turning the lock. Living with integrity and delighting in the world with an unconditional perspective will illuminate your correct path every time. Therefore the key becomes a necessary piece of the journey, but it isn’t the journey itself.

The Integrity Method is not a study in hoping or wishing, but rather in purposefully creating, which means changing the order of analysis from guarded reaction to a new process of being, feeling, and then doing. Humans love to collect and guard things; we love to have something in our back pocket to finger mindlessly. Habits are no different: we chew on our beliefs viciously, especially those related to our personal futures. We must start perceiving life in a radically different way than we were taught, because even though we have placed great value on the strategies that have gotten us this far, new strategies must be implemented if we are to take the next step. Otherwise, this is no journey at all; just a few weeks of window shopping.

Be honest with yourself: how far would you go to radically change your life for the better? Would you faithfully trust in a process of deconstruction and rebuilding? Can you imagine letting go of habits and beliefs that you’ve held for so long that they define your life? Nothing about finding happiness is easy until the day it becomes the easiest thing in your life; at which point you’ll laugh and say, oh there you were, right in front of my face all along. The gift of total, absolute pleasure sits wrapped at your feet constantly, moment by moment, if you choose to glance down and receive it.

Maybe you’re truly ready to turn a corner and become something greater. Maybe you need a bit more suffering first. Regardless of your current stead, if you can learn to lean on that which is timeless and dependable—that which never fails—you will have granted yourself an understanding about mankind that few ever get to feel. Keys, doors, goals, visions; they will all seem insignificant compared to the peace you feel from knowing your own true nature. Another word for this phenomenon is freedom.

When I speak of the world (and I will do it often), I’m referring to people and their mental constructs. Much of our time will be spent examining humanity’s instincts, attitudes, and programming in an effort to better understand why we currently act the way that we do. Human beings have never been better equipped to live in comfort and style, nor have they ever had so much instant access to information; yet the self-help industry generates billions of dollars per year. Why is the world so unhappy, despite every logical reason to be more content than ever before? Do you lead one life in your head and a separate life in the world? How many days do you suffer through, thinking that maybe this will be the one where you figure something out that changes everything?

When you feel that something isn’t right within yourself and decide to make a change, you establish a paradigm of searching, which the self-help industry covets for its power to help students grow. You may feel personally offended that self-help teachers want you to search, as if the whole charade intends to keep you hooked like a morphine drip, but the process of discovery is where your truth ultimately lies. If freeing yourself from the burdens of anxiety is your true goal, then the search cannot be avoided; it must be embraced, at least at first.

The search exists for two reasons that seem self-contradictory but are paradoxically both true at once: one, the key to happiness looks exactly the same for everyone; and two, no two keys turn exactly the same lock for anyone. This is why most self-help does not stick with students: because the human mind cannot accept the paradox. In other words, it cannot easily apply universal principles to specific circumstances. Nobody can choose your locked door for you. The Integrity Method, however, will guarantee that whatever you doors you choose are delightfully full of everything that you could ever want in life. In this sense, the search is both fun and impossible to fail, but also unavoidable. To expand the consciousness of the universe, you must be willing to turn some locks.

Before we begin, I want to give you one final opportunity to bask in your anxiety. Whether you like it or not, your anxiety is a piece of you that has shaped your life for many years, and ironically, giving it up will be difficult. You wouldn’t have kept it around this long if it didn’t provide some sort of payoff. For most of the world, this exercise should feel like slipping on a comfy robe and pouring a warm drink. Today will be the only time I give you permission to complain, so enjoy it for a few moments. Bask in the freedom to hate something; really let your indignation wash over you. Did one of your kids scratch a wall in your house? Maybe somebody wronged you as a teenager and you’re still replaying it in your head? Are your in-laws insufferable and rude? If you have any good little sayings about your frustration, let them out. I want you to really feel and visualize whatever grinds your gears and fuels your discontent. Let your frustration permeate your soul. Does the pain feel good? It certainly feels better than depression or grief.

By choosing The Integrity Method, you are likely in one of two places in your life: either sinking fast and unsure as to why, or, still searching for that elusive leap into fortune. Having clawed your way back from some kind of history of darkness, either through self-help of professional therapy, you still feel like something is missing in your life—like one stone has yet to go unturned. I have fallen into both camps in my life, and over the course of many years I have developed a cohesive strategy to alleviate much of the anxiety you feel, regardless of where you are in your journey.

I am not claiming to be any smarter than you, but I have certainly done the work. I invested thousands of hours into my own emotional intelligence, and as a result developed strategies to never feel hopeless again. I have come to love those strategies dearly, and as you’ll come to understand, anything you love should be celebrated and focused upon. If you can come to love yourself fully and unconditionally, your life will feel extremely potent. All internal psychological issues begin with self-identity.

The Integrity Method will reconstruct your flawed identity by offering a radical model of the universe that you can align with effortlessly. I will explain exactly why anxiety and depression are so common, and then teach you how to exploit this model of the universe for your personal gain and pleasure. The crux of our work is simple: whatever you want in life, you can have. I feel morally comfortable sharing this information because I know that once you realize the power at your disposal, the decisions you make in terms of desire will be based purely in goodness, and thus for the benefit of all mankind.

A final warning, though: giving up your current identity will sting. Your old patterns, beliefs, and behaviors will fight you at every turn. The process is akin to a surgical procedure—it hurts, it’s messy, it takes time to heal, and you must truly commit to see results, which means you must faithfully listen to your doctor. This book is best implemented with six discussion sessions, one for each week, and now you surely see why. Opting to cut yourself open without a doctor may work out, but why would you want to take the risk? I strongly encourage exiting your comfort zone and embracing the weekly meetings, which will hold you accountable for your progress and provide answers to any questions that arise. As you’ll come to appreciate, though, the way you interact with the world is always your choice.

The best way to read this book is one lesson per day, followed by some self-reflection, as they tend to build on themselves quite rapidly. On the seventh day of each week, I will provide you a little food for thought to help keep you in this new habit of learning, but I don’t want you searching each day. Rest and relaxation are just as important as work, so take time to mentally recuperate on that last day of each week. Like building the muscles of the body, we must both tear the muscle memory of the mind and then give it time to grow back stronger; otherwise, we risk exhausting ourselves and moving backwards

Beyond taking some time to rest each week, all that is required is a spirit of commitment and an open mind. Nothing that exists outside of yourself will ever rival the immense contentment you can feel by simply relying upon what is within. Read the daily teaching and keep it at the forefront of your mind each day, taking great care to not pass negative judgment as a reflex. What we are ultimately attempting to do is allow your psyche to freely move from moment to moment without clinging on to residual emotions. That’s all that happiness is, really: the ability to let things go without compulsively clinging to their charge.

Keeping an open mind is critical when evaluating anything that attempts to conceptualize the inexplainable. Even if you don’t agree with the interpretation of my data and the subsequent model I created, you can respect the fact that the act of creating it brought me a lot of joy when I otherwise may have felt anxiety or sadness. Being willing to listen to other viewpoints will always make your personal beliefs stronger in terms of viability in your own life. Through this subtle practice of willingness, you will actually be practicing acceptance as well; which, ironically, is the primary teaching of every single spiritual guide you will encounter. Accept all things as they are and delight in them.

Some days will be difficult to understand or conceptualize, and that is okay. Do your best to internalize what you can, knowing that whatever you absorb that day was meant to be. Go easy on yourself. Don’t turn this process into a struggle. Knowledge builds steadily with momentum, so perhaps the next day will better clarify the questions of the previous day. Though you can expect some pain along your journey, the treasure you seek will make all of your discomforts well worth the effort.

So then, what is life’s primary key to happiness that I promised to reveal today? Simple; it is the feeling you’ve hopefully enjoyed since opening this book: anticipation. Learning to live in a perpetual state of feeling enthusiastic about the next moment will magically open any door you choose. Subconsciously looking forward to your own life means that you are ready to receive whatever comes next. Blessings can flow only when you set yourself into a state of allowance. Tomorrow begins the process of teaching exactly why this key works the same for everyone, and how to use it successfully on whatever door you choose. I hope you are excited for what’s to come.

DAY 1

IDENTITY

THE CELEBRATION

Welcome, my new friend, to your own life. The party has already begun, but it hasn’t gotten good, yet. Luckily, the evening is young. We still have so much to look forward to.

Guests are still a bit wary of each other right now. In different corners they congregate in the safety of their herds, trying to keep their voices down. Appearing nonchalant is key, they think. The music is on, the food and drink are laid out, but the energy is low. A layer of self-consciousness still drapes the room like dust on an old painting. Years of social conditioning suffocate the natural inclination to joyously connect with others without reservation. Alcohol may eventually ignite the gathering; but even then, the fun will feel sloppy and forced, and tomorrow morning the tab will come due. Most guests will happily trade a hungover day of torment for a couple of hours with less psychological burden (not even full escape); the desires to connect with others and feel the flow of unrestrained vitality are that strong. But what will you do? Remember, this is your party, your life. Will you stand in the safety of the dimly lit corner, casually chatting, but really hoping for someone to enter into your frame and make your night interesting? Perhaps you’ve grown tired of parties—people in general, really—and consider yourself retired from celebrations altogether. Or maybe other people secretly repulse you, and the only reason you even attend parties is out of obligation. Whatever you’ve decided about your experience will manifest in your life, time and time again. You choose your reality.

Luckily, another option exists; one where you go your own way in life while still collaborating with others. Would you like the world to naturally gravitate towards you, giving you whatever you desire, and always leaving you anticipating even more? Choose it, and it is yours.

Aspects of the Psyche

Most self-help literature relies on either a massive call to action or a forced shift in emotions to change your beliefs; the assumption being that happiness has no real source and that the intrinsic beauty of the human experience will eventually shine through if you have enough willpower. This theory is not patently false, just a bit out of order. It assumes action and emotion create beliefs, and that beliefs create identity, when actually the complete opposite is true. Your identity (the pattern of thoughts which determine your opinion of yourself) creates beliefs based on circumstantial evidence, which then manifests as emotion and then corresponding action. Willpower will never change your identity; you must allow it to return to its truest nature. After that shift, all else will fall into line.

I still encourage you to read all of the books that you can, because you will start seeing patterns of truth buried deep within all of them. Even though they will not often point you to the treasure you seek, good information can still be used as generalized maps to better understand the landscape of your spirit. Knowing thyself more comprehensively will yield strategies to self-sooth when unexpected anxieties arise. We will be taking a more direct route, though, directly to the heart of the matter. While I certainly believe there is value in understanding the greater landscape, The Integrity Method is meant to serve the chosen few who care more about shifting their entire existence than simply feeling more prepared or confident. I am giving you the exact treasure map; now all you must do, literally, is choose to go claim it.

The problem with relying on action and emotion to create personal change is that they are mostly governed by outside forces beyond our control. They seem like the cause of our situations, whereas actually they are the effect of beliefs. You can only do so much within the confines of a situation, and you will never be capable of experiencing only positive emotions because they are subject to the laws of physics—more plainly, the laws of energy in motion. Much more on these topics to come, but for now, understand that action and emotion are the most fleeting aspects of your psyche. We will certainly aim to create changes in each in due time. Striving for fundamental identity change by only addressing action and emotion is no different than treating the symptoms of disease without considering the cause. A significant piece of the spiritual journey is accepting the responsibility of managing action and emotion on a conscious level.

If action and emotion are mostly just the end result of physical reactions within yourself, then they are, by default, beyond your conscious control. By definition, then, they are largely subconscious aspects of your experience; that is, they are forces which manifest in many people without conscious approval. Most people don’t possess the awareness to spot poor choices or incoming emotional spikes as they arise. They either sleepwalk through their lives or try to strangle the unknowns from their experience. They try to swim upstream instead of going with the flow.

If you’ve never come to this conclusion before, the realization can feel jarring because you are finally realizing that the majority of your outlook is backwards and arose without your consent. Your beliefs are likely not even really yours. Something deeper is driving them: a system of energetic traps that you steadily crafted from a young age in order to fit into the world and receive positive feedback from others. These beliefs supersede all of the desires