Wisdom: A Life Well Lived Or My Journey As A Schizophrenic

By Per-Erik Larsson

The book is about my past 22 years as a schizophrenic. It is divided into three parts. Part 1 is about my understanding of psychology. Part 2 presents my bird view of society and history and Part 3 is all about schizophrenia.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Books on Demand
• Release date: May 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9789178514045

Per-Erik Larsson

I grew up in the small town of Fristad, Sweden. At the age of 21 I attended the University of Chalmers, Gothenburg. There I got a degree in chemical engineering, M.Sc. Chem. Eng. in 1986. I worked as an engineer for 11 years before being diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1997.

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CONTENTS

Preface

Part 1: An Excursion in Modern Psychology

Introduction

Human Nature

Consciousness from a Developmental Perspective

Dependent Origination: A Buddhist Concept

Oneness

The Creation and Path of the Universe

A Complex World

Ideas that Make Up Our Reality

Society is a Machine

The Unconscious

How to Program Your Unconscious

Emotions

Personality

Stress

Habits and Compensatory Behaviors

Anxiety

Neuroses

Psychosis

Theory for Hearing Voices

Depression

Suicide

We All Sit in a Prison

Power and Decision-Making

Women: The First Sex

Structural and Cultural Violence

Theory for Evolution within an Animal Species

A Buddhist View

Happiness

Happiness Step by Step

Personality Disorders

Autism Spectrum Disorders

Part 2: Psychology, History, and Society

Introduction

Society, Politics, and Reality

The Authoritarian Archetype

A Historical Perspective

Society as a Reflection of Our Instincts

Society as an Organism

Society

Egypt

Western Societies of Today

A Society Based on an Unsustainable System

How to Manipulate and Control the World

The Past and Future of Western Societies

Components that Make Up Western Society

In Closing

Part 3: Schizophrenia

Introduction

My Childhood

How I was Set Up

How Schizophrenia Works

A Short Account of What Schizophrenia is Today

What Psychiatry is All About

Famous People with Schizophrenic Personality

The Effect of My Life on Society

My Experience of God

Afterword

PREFACE

This book is divided into three parts. Part 1 is the manuscript that Part 2 is based on. Part 1 is based on my model of the personality, which to a large extent is based on introspection and to a lesser degree on observation. I begin with presenting my view of the personality, which I a bit presumptuous call human nature. After that I continue with an investigation into the creation of the Universe. After that I start to explain everything that is psychological to its nature that I have learned as a schizophrenic over the past 20 years. That includes a new theory for evolution. I round off by looking at how well personality disorders can be explained using my personality model. Part 2 is all about applying the theories presented in Part 1 to the institutions of society and history. It is all about holistic thinking. Part 3 covers schizophrenia a little bit more in detail from my perspective.

Most of Part 1, especially the structure and outline were done between 2000 and 2005. In the second half of 2005 I was heavily medicated, and this medication lasted until 2010. From 2010 to 2019 I used my time to improve and expand the manuscript. The reason I had to use so much time improving on the manuscript was that the original was written in a manic state and as such I was not able to reflect over the content at the time. Part 2 was written during the first half of 2005. Part 3 was written in 2011 after my last hospital stay and material has been added from time to time.

So now you know I am schizophrenic. You wonder perhaps if that does not mean that the personality has broken down. That is correct. Normally the label schizophrenic is given to someone who has suffered a breakdown of his or her personality. However, as we will see later the label schizophrenic is also attached to normal functioning individuals in order to give God a go ahead to persecute the individual in question. From this we understand that psychiatrists are nothing more than modern day witchdoctors. Psychiatrists’ uses different labels as curses and the most powerful curse at their discretion is schizophrenia. Considering the meaning of schizophrenia, you may wonder what I can know about personality. Actually a lot, the truth about schizophrenia is that it is a test designed by God and psychiatry. The purpose of the test is to see if the schizophrenic has a strong enough personality to withstand the worst that God and psychiatry can come up with. Psychiatrists know with 99% certainty who is a schizophrenic when you are admitted to a psychiatric clinic. If they have some reason to believe you are going to be a hard nut to crack, they label you a schizophrenic. That was the case with me back in 1997. The reason for this is that most people try to adapt to new circumstances they are put in by adopting the behavior expected from them. This is called labeling theory. So, this is the first test to see if your personality is going to hold up. After that follows test upon test of the personality, all meant to break it down. As you might understand from the above, I am extremely well-suited to write about psychology and especially about personality psychology. The only thing that historically bears any resemblance to psychiatric practice is New Orleans Voodoo.

You will be the judge whether I have suffered a breakdown or am the victim of structural violence. Now you can read my book and hopefully appreciate it.

Part 1

An Excursion in Modern Psychology

33RD VERSE FROM TAO TE CHING

One who understands others has knowledge;

one who understands himself has wisdom.

Mastering others requires force;

mastering the self needs strength.

If you realize that you have enough,

you are truly rich.

One who gives himself to his position

surely lives long.

One who gives himself to the Tao

surely lives forever.

INTRODUCTION

Philosophy’s purpose is to improve the quality of people’s lives. In doing so a philosopher proposes some entity such as happiness and describes a logical way to reach this state. This first part mainly deals with the idea of happiness and tries to give a foundation for psychology by putting forth a theory for human nature. Socrates dealt with the importance of doing the right thing to be happy with yourself. All later Western philosophers deal with how to keep the masses happy; some examples are John Stuart Mill (utilitarianism) and Karl Marx (communism or Marxism).

Happiness or for that matter any other feeling is simply a state of mind. Any philosophy that proposes to increase happiness for mankind must take this into account. For a philosophy to have any real effect it must focus on the individual and his state of mind. The science that works with the mind is psychology, and it is therefore reasonable that any philosophical idea of happiness uses psychology as its tool to accomplish this.

I see Buddhism strictly as a philosophy that comes with a toolbox of psychological tricks to help the individual become happy and content with his life. This book will not deal with every aspect of Buddhism. I will only bring forth some psychological theories in support of already existing axioms and recommendations within Buddhism. My purpose in doing so is to validate these axioms and recommendations by Buddha, and somewhat more clearly explain the importance of adhering to those recommendations. This is done based on the theory of human nature and its functioning.

A new theory for evolution will be proposed; a theory which says that evolution is a psychological process. I will also propose a theory that tells mankind its purpose, which is to make our mind beautiful, which is done by becoming happy (beautiful thoughts). This last theory has been added because Albert Schweitzer points to the necessity for mankind to have a theory of the universe or world-view that has a connection to civilization. This ultimately made me produce a theory for the creation of the universe that is a merger between psychology and quantum cosmology.

Finally, I will look at personality disorders and see how well they can be explained using my theoretical model of human nature.

HUMAN NATURE

This account of human nature does not claim to be complete or correct in every detail. The purpose has been to try to find the foundation of our personality. That is what all humans have in common. I have used introspection to do this and it started as a top-down process but developed to become a bottom-up process. This all reminds me of one of the inscriptions at the Temple of Delphi, Know thyself. For some behavior I have used strictly observations to determine their existence. My conclusion is that human nature can be divided into four distinct levels: instincts, emotions, ego needs, and philosophical insight. Instincts produce emotions which in turn produce complementary ideas which in turn produce behaviors. Behaviors produce new complementary ideas and so on. To quote a line from the first verse in Tao Te Ching: Names can name no lasting name.

Instincts

Instincts are the lowest level from where one can organize higher behaviors. It is my standpoint that all higher organisms including man’s behavior have its roots in instincts.

Emotions

This level has developed with the purpose to enhance our capacity for survival. Complex learning becomes possible through conditioning (this is further developed in the section Consciousness from a Developmental Perspective). This means that emotions function as stimulus and reward for behaviors that gives gratification to the instinct it is paired with. Emotions stop functioning as stimuli/reward as soon as the desired behavior has been established. Anxiety is used to indicate that the instinct is not being satisfied. This force the development of ego needs as the environment changes. One could say anxiety is the result of a changing society and that Nature use anxiety to kick mankind along. Basically, I agree with those who say that emotions range from unpleasant to pleasant. I would like to say that I see pleasant emotions as being in support of the current thought or behavior and the opposite is true for unpleasant emotions. You are supposed to do (think) what makes you feel good.

Ego Needs

This level has a similar appearance as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The major difference is that I conclude there is a self-realization for each ego need. This view adds much more complexity to human nature. It also puts focus in how many areas as we humans can grow and develop our approach to life. Learning is accomplished through conditioning and modeling, with emotions serving as positive or negative reinforcement. I have split this level up in three different sub-levels, need for security, need for appreciation, and self-realization. It should be noted that ego needs are the sublimation of instincts. To move upwards in ego needs, the instinct must not be easily satisfied. That is, anxiety or adversity forces development on us, or we cognitively learn a more mature way to satisfy the instinct. If a person too easily satisfies their needs, the development of those needs will be arrested. This is basically the case when life is to easy. We need adversity to evolve.

I started out by drawing my own human nature, which is shown in table 1. Later I have tried to generalize this model. My generalized model is based on Hegel’s thesis-antithesis. The same idea as the dialectical method exists within the texts of Tao Te Ching. There it is expressed in a slightly different way: Is and is not produce each other or being and nonbeing produce each other or existing and not existing produce each other. This means that for each ego need there are two approaches that are opposites, or as I prefer to say, complementary. Using this approach to explain ideas and behaviors in human nature might look something like in figure 1 where the instinct conquer/explore from table 1 has been outlined. Human nature as a generalized idea is outlined in table 2.

Philosophical Insight

To reach this level one should live a life in moderation (this could be called the golden rule of ethics), be accountable, have self-discipline, and respect for all living creatures. To see an outline of my human nature, see table 1. That which is written in the boxes of table 1 is an idea that could be called a behavior. These ideas are subjective and open to change, not like Plato’s ideas, which were supposed to be objective and final. There are only different perspectives no definite reality. As can be seen in table 1, we as human beings continue to grow throughout our lives and we are sensitive and emotional beings.

Figure 1: How ideas for the instinct conquer/explore develop

An Unconscious Entity

We need to look closer at the instinct, value. This is because the positive emotional reward is so great that it needs an opposite pole to balance it, self-hatred.

Self-hatred is such a negative feeling that it is not acceptable. This means a defense mechanism will act. In this case it is repression. This happens according to my observations between two and three years of age. The repressed self-hatred lies as a gravitational center in the unconscious. The unconscious thoughts are drawn in and bent around this center. Our instincts that are sublimated to needs in the unconscious are bent (distorted) by the center, hence our inability to satisfy our needs. Since the needs are distortions of the underlying instincts it becomes impossible to achieve need satisfaction. This is the reason why we create new needs in the hunt for lasting well-being. This inability to identify our needs correctly puts us in a constant search to satisfy ourselves with different substitutes. This is the foundation for progress, as we know it.

Many times, when the emotion of self-hatred is experienced it is rationalized to be hatred and projected onto someone else. Hatred could also be considered the combination of the emotions fear, you fear what you do not understand, and anger. From this perspective hate is nothing but anger laced with anxiety. The principle of Occam’s razor states, Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.