How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1): An "Inwaluable" Introduction To An "Enchoyable" Accent Of The "Inklish Lankwitch

By Gary Gates

Here is a book for anyone tired of speaking flat, colorless, homogenized English. Pennsylvania Dutchman Gary Gates provides a glossary, read-aloud section, songs, recipes, and more in this delightful, inwaluble introduction to Dutch-ified English. Learn the meaning of "rutch" and "spritz," what a "clod" and a "crotch" are, how to pronounce and make "Cussin Rachel's Snitz und Knepp," and what has happened to food when it's all. As you read this book you will not only learn how to speak better, but when an American Dutchman becomes president you will understand him when he addresses the nation in Dutch-ified English.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Good Books
• Release date: Oct 1, 1987
• ISBN: 9781680992410

Gary Gates

Gary Gates is a Dutchman from Lebanon County, Pennsylvania, where all the baloney comes from. People know where he is from when he opens his mouth. Gary is a performer, having appeared hundreds of times at festivals, fairs, colleges, libraries, corporation banquets, comedy clubs, writers groups, resorts, and on radio and TV. His Pennsylvania Dutch humor is riotous fun, sweet enough for family entertainment, yet salty enough to keep adults and children in stitches. He loves performing and celebrating his unique heritage with his fellow Dutchmen, and sharing it with non-Dutchmen, whose response to his show has been overwhelmingly hysterical. Some people have declared him the new Professor Schnitzel, even the Mark Twain of Pennsylvania Dutch country. Even more people simply call him the best windbag they ever heard.

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Preface

Even presidents have funny accents.

When John F. Kennedy spoke Boston Brahmin, and when Jimmy Carter spoke Southern, they weren’t laughed at. They were men who were true to their regional heritage. Their speech added to the richness of our American tongue.

However, if I would become president, I would be somewhat afraid.

I am a Pennsylvania Dutchman. I speak a variety of English known as Dutchified English, a mode of expression typical of my native region and German-Dutch descendants throughout the United States and Canada. Although there is considerable variation in the subtleties of pronunciation and syntax, there are three main components to Dutch-ified English: 1) English words that are pronounced with a German accent, such as clod for cloud and crotch for garage; 2) Words derived directly from the German that are unique to English, such as rutch, meaning to squirm, and spritz, meaning to sprinkle with water; 3) A German syntax that allows for usage of English words in creative ways, such as the food is all and outen the light.

All my life my fellow Dutchmen* and I have been put down for speaking this way. In high school, teachers who came from other parts of the country would criticize the way we spoke. The pressure to conform to conventional speech patterns continued in college and after college by people who believed they spoke in a superior manner. Too many people have tried to make us feel like dumb, uneducated bumpkins. Too many people have tried to make us feel ashamed. Constant pressure is exerted on us to speak like most people speak—in a flattened-out, colorless, homogenized English.

Linguistically speaking, we are treated like second-class citizens.

Enough of this abuse!

Dutchmen, arise! Be proud of our distinctive speech! Our Dutchified English is a delightful, powerful, humorous version of English. Dutch power!

And to all of you non-Dutchmen, open these pages and enjoy a good laugh with us Dutchmen. Our Dutchified accent is an accent on humor. And we love to share good things. We hope that in reading this book you will not only gain an appreciation of the way we talk, but also learn to enjoy your own version of English, whatever it is.

As you read this book you will not only learn how to speak better, but when an American Dutchman becomes president, you will understand him when he addresses the nation in Dutchified English.

May you laugh along with all of us Dutchmen in our Renaissance.

*Being traditionalists, the speakers of Dutchified English understand man and its derivatives to be a cheneric term for humankind.

Dictionary of Terms

In the Dictionary section of this book are sentences using only one, or a few, Dutchified words, so that the featured word is evident, and the contextual meaning clear.

Inevitably, varieties result. This is as it should be since diversity abounds in Dutchified English. The many regional enclaves of German-Dutch settlers throughout the United States and Canada, often heavily populated by the Amish and Mennonites, have their own varieties of Dutchified English. The localities, cities and towns within each region have their own sub-varieties. In Pennsylvania, people in Lancaster speak a form of Dutchified English different than that found in Lebanon or Reading. However, there is a common thread to all of them.

The more people distance themselves from their German-Dutch heritage, the less pronounced is their Dutchified English. But in distancing themselves from their

Reviews for How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1)

[fdholt · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

How to speak Dutchified English gives the flavor of the spoken Dutchy language of three "cawnties" in Pennsyvania: Baerricks (Berks), Lank-is-ter (Lancaster) and Lep-nin (Lebanon). Interestingly, the pronunciation for the English purists of the area for the latter two counties is Lank-ist-er and Leb-non. The author is from Lebanon County as was my father's family, so the pronunciation varies from what is heard in the eastern part of Berks County. The early German settlers to this region came from the Palatinate where a form of low German was spoken. Here in this country, it developed into Pennsylfanishe Deitsch, a language still spoken by the Plain People of Pennsylvania and in the mid-west. From there we get Dutchified English.The book begins with a phonetic dictionary of some common words. The "w" sound is always pronounced with a "v" as in High German but the "v" is pronounced with a "w" instead of an "f" - wa-nilla instead of vanilla. A hard "g" is a cross between "cr" and "g" while a soft "g" is "tch" - so a crotch is where you park your car. An ending "d" is usually a "t" and when plural "tz" - vootz is a place with trees. There are many more different examples in the book. There are three things to remember. First, word order is important and follows High German. So you have expressions like: Trow the caw ower the fence some hay! The word throw begins with a sound not exactly a "t" and not exactly a "th" but somewhere in between. Secondly, there are word used in unique way, such as "get awt!" for total amazement. Other examples include "I'm going with" (I'm going along), "The bread is all" (I don't have any), and "The paper wants rain" for a prediction. Then thirdly, there are made up words. "Outen the light" (or "Make awt the light" for Turn off the light) and "Spritz the payment" (water the pavement), "I got spritzed!" (the hose turned on me and I'm wet), and "It's spritzing outside" (a light rain).If this isn't enough, the author has a section for reading and singing out loud. Remember that most Dutchy folks spoke in Dutchified English but wrote proper English in letters and read English in the newspapers. You can figure out what's going on by referring to the passage in the original English. Then there are the recipes which the author assures us that "dese receipts really make."In the words of the book's cover: "An "inwaluble" introduction to an "enchoyable" accent of the "Inklish lankwitch."