Romance Diaries - Ruby

By Jenna Austen

What do you read if you're too young for Jane Austen, but you love great stories and sweet romance?Jane Austen's little sister!Ages: 9+
Ruby's worried that her friends keep making the same mistakes when it comes to romance. then she develops a theory: most girls go for either a 'Jane Austen' guy (funny, sweet, caring) or a 'Jane Eyre' guy (dark, brooding, serious) - when really they should be dating the exact opposite!But when Ruby puts her theory into practice, the results don't exactly go to plan ... And if she's so smart about love, how come she can't figure out who's been sending her all the flirty emails and flowers?

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Australia
• Release date: Dec 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9781743097090

Jenna Austen

I’m Jenna Austen. Ever since I was little, I’ve loved reading and writing. Especially the kinds of stories that end with happily-ever-afters. And I adore a good romance - I’ve read EVERY Jane Austen novel ever written. I think the fact that I share the same surname with One of Greatest Writers To Have Ever Lived is pretty cool (thanks, Mum and Dad!). Actually, people sometimes ask me if I’m related to the famous Jane Austen… I’m not (I’ve checked!), but I don’t mind at all if you want to call me ‘Jane Austen’s Little Sister’ ;)

Book preview

Friday 2 February

Can’t beLIEVE what happened today! You’d think I’d have expected it, but this time I suppose part of me must have been, what? Hoping for a miracle?

True, BELLA always expects miracles. But I should have known better. Hell, I DID know better. I’d had a bad feeling when Bella first told us about Josh, six weeks ago.

She’d met him at a party and couldn’t stop talking about him. ‘He’s so gorgeous! Looks just like Edward Cullen! Isn’t that spooky?’

I groaned. ‘You mean, cos your name’s Bella?’

Her eyes went all dreamy. ‘Oh, totes, Ruby. I think it’s a sign from Fate.’

Well, I tried to make her see sense. Told her that if she wanted her own Edward Cullen, she’d be better off buying one of those Twilight action dolls. I reminded her of last time, when The Creep dumped her on Facebook by changing his status from IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH BELLA NAGLE to SINGLE. And the time before that: Leo, whose idea of a fun night out was her watching him tinkering with his skateboard in the garage and then having a pizza served in its box in front of the TV with his granddad.

Poor Bella, she really does pick ’em! ACTually, she picks ’em for their looks, basically. There was that really nice (and very smart) guy Will, who used to go to our school and who she went out with once. We all really liked him and he would’ve been perfect for her, but she gave him the flick because she thought he looked too much like a nerd. (I love her heaps, but Bella can be kind of superficial. She’s a bit too beautiful and people are always going on about her looks, so it’s understandable, but STILL.)

Anyway, I reminded her she’d promised to be more careful next time, but I might as well have saved my breath to cool my porridge, as Mum would say. Bella said, ‘Yeah, sure, of course, Ruby,’ but I knew she wasn’t listening.

And Angie and Natalie didn’t exactly help things either. Natalie had seen Josh before (her older brother, Tom, went to his school) and said she thought he was gorgeous. And Angie loves Bella’s Love-Life Soap Opera — the whole big serial drama of it. She said that she’d read Bella’s horoscope in the paper and it claimed she was going to meet someone who would have a Real Impact on her life.

‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ I muttered, but no one took any notice, of course. And once I met Josh, I thought maybe this time my instincts might be wrong. True, his good looks were a bit too polished — soulful brown eyes, slickly cut fair hair, deep voice and PG (Perfect Gentleman) manners — and true, I half-felt that there was something NQR (Not Quite Right) about him, but that impression disappeared quickly. He did seem so genuinely…nice.

He acted normal around Bella and he talked to Angie and Nat and me like we were real people and not just Bella’s sidekicks. Nat asked Tom discreetly about his past and it seemed OK: his last relationship had been with some stuck-up chick who gave him the flick, not the other way round.

Anyway, Bella was crazy about him. Angie and Nat thought he was great. And me? Well, my instinct was still NQR — but you could say my alarm was set to Snooze.

Until today…

I guess Angie’s newspaper astrologer knew a thing or two. Because Josh takes the Nobel Prize for having the Most Gob-Smacking Jaw-Dropping Impact on Someone’s Life.

He turned up after school to meet Bella, as per. He said hi to us all, as per. Then he said something so odd that my Snoozing days were immediately over. He said, ‘I’m so glad you have such good friends, Bella.’

We looked at him, puzzled. At least, the others were puzzled. I could FEEL it coming. Here we go. Instinctively I moved closer to Bella…

‘Look, Bella, I can’t go out tonight,’ he said uncomfortably. ‘A friend — unexpectedly come back from New York — got to catch up.’

‘That’s OK,’ said Bella cheerfully. ‘Tomorrow, yeah?’

He looked shifty. ‘Tomorrow’s out too, I’m afraid.

In fact, all this weekend is looking a bit awkward.’

Angie, Nat and I shot meaningful looks at each other and imperceptibly formed the Pig-Off Triangle around Bella. Who did NOT get it; she just said, ‘Fine. Fine. Next week then.’

‘That’s just it,’ he said, running a nervous hand through his Vampire Boy hairdo. ‘Actually I don’t really quite know when I’ll be able to see you again. Or — or if, even.’

Bella made a sound as though someone had punched her in the stomach. She whispered, ‘Why?’

‘My — my friend from New York. She’s the one I used to…I mean…I don’t know if it’s going to work out — but I still — she still — we still — still have feelings for each other.’ He gave her a PG look from under his eyelashes. ‘Bella, I didn’t think it was fair to just let things go on as they were. I thought I should tell you, straight out, so that we —’

He broke off, no doubt unnerved by our Triangle of glares. But Bella just stared blankly at him, as though he was speaking a foreign language. She tried to say something, but couldn’t. It was left to me to tell him to pig off and take himself and his dumb cruel notions of ‘fairness’ to the depths of outer space where he clearly belonged. He went to say something, but we stepped the Triangle threateningly towards him. He took one look at us (at Ange especially, who is pretty scary when she’s angry), said, ‘I’m sorry, Bella,’ and fled. Scurried away, like the poxy rotten rat that he is, while we were left with poor Bella, who cried and cried and cried. She cried all the way home. All the rest of the afternoon at Nat’s. I mean, Zounds! Her heart had just been broken IN PUBLIC. We all tried to tell her he was no good, she was well rid of him, but it didn’t help. It never does, believe me, any more than someone saying I told you so. (Though OK, I’m not a robot, I thought it!)

Eventually she stopped crying and then fell asleep (Nat had organised for her to sleep over) and the three of us tiptoed out and sat in the TV room for a bit, tearing Josh’s character and looks to shreds. And that felt good, but not good enough.

No. It’s not enough. I can’t watch this happen, over and over again, any more. SOMETHING WILL HAVE TO BE DONE!

Monday 5 February

Poor Bella was pretty pigged up at school today. Red swollen eyes, shaky voice. Nat, Ange and I tried to make her feel better. We carefully avoided mention of Vampire Boy, we mucked around, and we planned to take her out for a coffee after school, but she said she didn’t feel well and just wanted to go home.

Ange reckons we should make a voodoo doll of Vampire Boy and stick pins in it, and Nat thinks we should do phone persecution — book him pizzas and taxis he didn’t order, stuff like that. But I’ve been thinking real hard about the whole thing tonight, and I reckon we should forget about creepy Josh. He’s not the problem. He’s just a SYMPTOM of Bella’s real problem, which is that she ALWAYS picks the wrong sort of guys. Why? Cos she has a Romantic Blind Spot. And that’s what we’ve got to fix, if she’s ever going to have a happy romance. And that’s where I want to help.

Yeah, right, but what do YOU know about romance, Ms Ruby May? Have you had lots of boyfriends yourself? Well, no — but so what? You don’t always need direct experience of a thing to help people, do you? For example, you don’t have to be mad to be a psychiatrist. You need to have STUDIED MADNESS AND UNDERSTAND IT so you can help people suffering from it. That’s all. Well, it’s the same with this and me.

Thing is, I HAVE studied romance. I’ve read heaps of romantic novels and watched heaps of romantic movies. Observed all my friends’ and family’s romances. Anyway, point is, I’ve really THOUGHT about it and I am, if I say so myself, insightful about relationships. I really think I have something to offer.

But there’s a catch. A really big one. When I give advice, tips, warnings, NOBODY LISTENS. They just say, ‘Mind your own business, Ruby.’ Or, ‘What would you know?’ They think I’m bossy. Interfering. Nosy. Thing is, people just don’t like to be told. So simply telling someone, ‘That person is SO not right for you so don’t waste your time,’ is unlikely to bring results. In fact, it usually makes things worse.

I want to do something totes useful this time. Not just for Bella, but the other people I care about too. Mum, for example. She’s lonely; I know she is. I mean, she’s got Jo and me, but it’s not the same. It’s been years and years since Dad died, but she won’t let herself get over it. Even Nan and Pop think that. When we go to the country to see them, they’re always asking how she is, in a MEANINGFUL kind of way. Even though their only son is dead and they loved him dearly, they think it’s time for her to move on. But she won’t. She just won’t.

It’s not like men don’t ask her out. And sometimes she’ll even go on a date, but never more than once. She